Learn how to order pizza.

[The Sauce Boss]

I work at a pizza place. It has come to my attention that people are terrible at ordering food. Seriously, it is not that difficult, but customers love to find ways to complicate it beyond belief. Here are some rookie mistakes you can avoid!

1. Decide what you want THEN call

Do not call and keep me on the line for 15 minutes talking to your buddies about what toppings you want. It is annoying. Why are you making me listen to the debate between pepperoni or ham?

2. Speak up

Me not being able to hear you puts me in a tight situation. If I don't get your order right you will probably call and complain--not something I want to deal with. There is no need to whisper into the phone. It doesn't make you sound "chill" or "cool". If you call from a cell phone make sure it isn't a piece of **** that cuts in and out every 2 seconds.

3. Don't come early

When I say it is going to take 25 minutes for your food to be done, I mean it. Don't come in 5 minutes and be pissed that you have to wait. Standing at the front of the store and making us check up on your food every 30 seconds is annoying.

4. I will not make your food cost less

Sorry that you didn't look at the prices before ordering, but I can't make it cost less. I don't decide the prices. If you cancel your order I really don't care, at all.

5. Don't let the first thing you ask be "what kind of deals do you have".

I know I know, it seems innocent enough, you just want to know if we have specials. Here is the thing, we ALWAYS have specials. Lots of them. And I don't know which one you want. You have to at least give me an idea of what you are going to order for me to guide you to a special. What do you want me to do, list off the 12 or so deals we have? If you ask "what kind of deals do you have" I usually just tell you the easiest order for me to make.

6. Don't order stuff we don't have

We actually don't make "x" pizza..... Yes I know that other pizza place makes it. That does not mean we do.

7. Don't make ridiculous orders

Quadruple sausage won't logistically fit on a pizza. We can't make a half square and half round pizza. When you say you want "everything" on it I really doubt it. We have probably about 20-30 different things we can put on a pizza.

8. Learn to tip

If you think the drivers don't remember the good and bad tippers, you are mistaken. Good tippers get free stuff. Bad people...well...


That is some of the more common ones I get. It all boils down to this. Stop being such a difficult ***, order clearly, and be respectful. Thank You!

 

[JFox]

1. Learn how to make threads on smashboards.

Don't use annoyingly hard to read colors.

 

[Frown]

1. Use common sense.

Surprisingly few people follow this advice.

 

[Cashed]

Ordering pizza online is where it's at.

 

[1048576]

Did someone actually ask for a half square/half round pizza? That's funny.

 

[DtJ Jungle]

LOL this thread is win.

 

[slave1]

seriously i worked at a pizza place. people are idiots and never ever ever tip. and i hate when people get pissy over their mistakes.

 

[AquaTech]

Sauce Boss, why should we tip, with an attitude like that?! Hahahah

 

[Tom]

I work at a pizza place. It has come to my attention that people are terrible at ordering food. Seriously, it is not that difficult, but customers love to find ways to complicate it beyond belief. Here are some rookie mistakes you can avoid!

A pizza place? Cool! My good friend and crewmate Handorin works at a pizza place too, though I don't think he's ever complained to me about the people who order pizzas (read: ...everyone?) or about how customers are disrespectful or complicated. Hopefully its not just you. Oh hell, lets dive into the topic regardless!

1. Decide what you want THEN call

Do not call and keep me on the line for 15 minutes talking to your buddies about what toppings you want. It is annoying. Why are you making me listen to the debate between pepperoni or ham?

Are you paid by commission? I would assume you're paid by the hour. Why is waiting around on the phone for 15 minutes, and getting paid for it, any worse than punching numbers on a computer or cash register? You're getting paid to do nothing! Learn to celebrate the finer aspects of fleishig discussion. There are so, so many reasons why someone should choose pepperoni over Canadian bacon as a pizza topping... but it's situational, isn't it? I wouldn't want pepperoni and pineapple... but a Hawaiian pizza sounds pretty good to me.

2. Speak up

Me not being able to hear you puts me in a tight situation. If I don't get your order right you will probably call and complain--not something I want to deal with. There is no need to whisper into the phone. It doesn't make you sound "chill" or "cool". If you call from a cell phone make sure it isn't a piece of **** that cuts in and out every 2 seconds.

The same goes to you, good sir! Stumbling and mumbling through the routine introductions and specials descriptions really grinds my gears. When you say "How may I help you today," I want to really feel that you're here to help! If you didn't understand my entire order, is it not your obligation per fancy pancy customer service awards to ask me what I said? Don't you go through the order at the end of the phone call regardless? And if you don't want to hear our rightful phoned-in complaints about getting our order wrong, why young whipper snapper, double check the order!

And I don't appreciate the comments about my phone!

3. Don't come early

When I say it is going to take 25 minutes for your food to be done, I mean it. Don't come in 5 minutes and be pissed that you have to wait. Standing at the front of the store and making us check up on your food every 30 seconds is annoying.

I don't think I've ever been in the wrong by being early, except perhaps in bed. But that's another story. If I want my pizza as quickly as I can get it, hey, maybe you'll be done with it in 23 minutes? If I show up and wait until then, I'm saving time.

4. I will not make your food cost less

Sorry that you didn't look at the prices before ordering, but I can't make it cost less. I don't decide the prices. If you cancel your order I really don't care, at all.

Okay, I don't actually know who would order before looking at the price.

5. Don't let the first thing you ask be "what kind of deals do you have".

I know I know, it seems innocent enough, you just want to know if we have specials. Here is the thing, we ALWAYS have specials. Lots of them. And I don't know which one you want. You have to at least give me an idea of what you are going to order for me to guide you to a special. What do you want me to do, list off the 12 or so deals we have? If you ask "what kind of deals do you have" I usually just tell you the easiest order for me to make.

You're complaining that people ask for suggestions? How belligerent! Someone is out to save money by opting to go with a special meal deal offered and advertised by your fine establishment and you are offended? I don't even understand! Yes, yes I do want you to list off the dozen or so deals that you have. How long would that take you, a minute? And then I could make my decision in a minute! That's pretty quick!

6. Don't order stuff we don't have

We actually don't make "x" pizza..... Yes I know that other pizza place makes it. That does not mean we do.

Well, here is where the specials that you hate so much come into play! If you don't serve a meat lover's pizza, why don't you suggest the feat-of-meat special pizza that you DO serve?! How exhilarating!

7. Don't make ridiculous orders

Quadruple sausage won't logistically fit on a pizza. We can't make a half square and half round pizza. When you say you want "everything" on it I really doubt it. We have probably about 20-30 different things we can put on a pizza.

Why, have some imagination my friend! Where is your sense of adventure?! Quadruple sausage sounds like a feat that only those most brave hearted and strong willed could achieve! Challenge the preconceived notions of culinary geometry! Make a triangle pizza for all I care; you would be that much more of a man!

8. Learn to tip

If you think the drivers don't remember the good and bad tippers, you are mistaken. Good tippers get free stuff. Bad people...well...

Are you threatening me? Blackmailing me so that you can earn an extra five-spot? Why, Mr. Lincoln and I are offended! Let me speak with your manager!

 

[DtJ Jungle]

LOOOLLL Tom just wrecked. Especially with the bed comment.

 

[bobson]

3. Don't come early

When I say it is going to take 25 minutes for your food to be done, I mean it. Don't come in 5 minutes and be pissed that you have to wait. Standing at the front of the store and making us check up on your food every 30 seconds is annoying.

Every time the local pizza place says it'll take 25 minutes to be ready, it's done in 15 minutes and it sits around for 10 minutes. Tell me when the food is ACTUALLY going to be done and I'll show up when you say.

 

[typh]

Are you paid by commission? I would assume you're paid by the hour. Why is waiting around on the phone for 15 minutes, and getting paid for it, any worse than punching numbers on a computer or cash register? You're getting paid to do nothing! Learn to celebrate the finer aspects of fleishig discussion.

Believe it or not some people like to work and be productive instead of idling around a phone doing nothing.

Crazy I know.

 

[GreenKirby]

Here's how I order pizza.

"*****, give me some pizza. And it better be here in one minute or I'm breaking your necks."

And then it's like here in one minute and it's usually great pizza. I throw away the free 'drink' the delivery boy gave me, because I know what they could put in that stuff. :D

 

[Tom]

Believe it or not some people like to work and be productive instead of idling around a phone doing nothing.

Crazy I know.

I doubt every single one of his callers does that; think of it as a well deserved break for all the productive complaining he does all day.

 

[_Phloat_]

What pizza place do you work at in Michigan, TSB?

 

[Crimson King]

I will always say this: if you have a problem with the customer in a service industry, quit your job. People who hate their job so much that it shows need not work in service. People who cannot adapt to everyone need not work in service industry.

Your job is to SERVE. They pay you for it, and in essence, they are your bosses.

 

[RyokoYaksa]

I actually found this rant entertaining. Like it or not, there is such a thing as "being a better consumer." There is nothing wrong with getting those pet peeves off your chest.

Also, order pizza online and get special offers via e-mail.

 

[The Sauce Boss]

I will always say this: if you have a problem with the customer in a service industry, quit your job. People who hate their job so much that it shows need not work in service. People who cannot adapt to everyone need not work in service industry.

Your job is to SERVE. They pay you for it, and in essence, they are your bosses.

I actually don't mind it. The job is bomb as ****. I work with all my friends, and if it isn't busy (it usually isn't) we just mess around. I won't be doing it forever, but right now it is about as good as it could get.

This thread was meant to be a joke about some of the funnier customers I've had, but some people took it way too seriously lol. I LOVE my job lol. I eat free pizza all day and sit in the back and talk. I hold no grudges against the customers. I just think it is ridiculous the way people act sometimes. Seriously 1 penny tips are not cool...And yes someone ACTUALLY wanted a half square half round....

And no it is not a break standing on the phone taking orders. I would much rather be in the back eating or something.

So basically to the flamers **** you.

 

[~rh]

I agree with everything except the one about the specials. Because I do that ****.

 

[Kinzer]

I kind of want to know how Pizza guys/gals handle crank calls and/or deliveries to other houses... perhaps some locations that don't exist.

 

[SuperBowser]

Every single time I've ordered pizza with friends, it goes along the lines of,

''What deals do you have today? How much are they? What toppings?''

''HEY GUYS! What shall we get?''

<3 minute debate>

''Ok. Just to make sure, is this the cheapest we can get? Thanks, we'll have that one.''

All I can say is too bad for you. If you give me attitude on the phone, I'll just buy somewhere else because I don't feel anything in that conversation is unreasonable or unusual. That's how a large group of people will always buy a pizza deal on the phone.

 

[The Sauce Boss]

I kind of want to know how Pizza guys/gals handle crank calls and/or deliveries to other houses... perhaps some locations that don't exist.

Crank calls are a little annoying if it is busy, but no one really minds if nothing is going on and it's a good one. Deliveries to other houses don't happen too often. At least I haven't been around for one yet.

Every single time I've ordered pizza with friends, it goes along the lines of,

''What deals do you have today? How much are they? What toppings?''

''HEY GUYS! What shall we get?''

<3 minute debate>

''Ok. Just to make sure, is this the cheapest we can get? Thanks, we'll have that one.''

All I can say is too bad for you. If you give me attitude on the phone, I'll just buy somewhere else because I don't feel anything in that conversation is unreasonable or unusual. That's how a large group of people will always buy a pizza deal on the phone.

That ISNT how a large group of people will ALWAYS buy pizza. I should know.

Asking for a generic "deal" is stupid. I don't know if you want twenty pizzas or one cheese bread. If you can at least give me an idea of what you are looking for I can tell you if there is a deal. If not, I am telling you the easiest thing for me to make.

And to people who threaten to buy somewhere else-- I really don't think you understand how little we care. Maybe it is different at other restaurants, but where I work if you are truly being THAT difficult we have NO problem if you don't want our service. None. We have plenty of other customers who AREN'T idiots that buy our food. Don't bother asking to speak to the manager. He feels the same way. Believe me, I know him.

 

[eman]

EPIC WIN thread. Now I want pizza

 

[SuperBowser]

Asking for a generic "deal" is stupid. I don't know if you want twenty pizzas or one cheese bread. If you can at least give me an idea of what you are looking for I can tell you if there is a deal. If not, I am telling you the easiest thing for me to make.

And to people who threaten to buy somewhere else-- I really don't think you understand how little we care. Maybe it is different at other restaurants, but where I work if you are truly being THAT difficult we have NO problem if you don't want our service. None. We have plenty of other customers who AREN'T idiots that buy our food. Don't bother asking to speak to the manager. He feels the same way. Believe me, I know him.

You know what? I think the problem is your attitude. And no, I don't care either if your service sucks because there's a hundred other pizza places I can go to which don't give me attitude.

''Oh no. The customer asked me a vague question. Instead of asking him to specify, I'm going to get mad about it and not answer him properly!! And then wonder why time is wasted!!!''

It's called a ''conversation''.

edit: I never threaten to take my business elsewhere. I simply do it.

 

[xstompx]

Some people are kind of ridiculous in this thread. I thought most of the what the OP said was pretty reasonable, really. Just because you CAN be a **** doesn't mean that you need to be when buying stuff. Complaining with coworkers about how dumb people are is basically the only thing that got me through the day, but, then again, I know that I'm not someone who should really be working in the service industry as people bug me too often even if I didn't show it to the customer. Hopefully for me, and the customer, that I'll never have to go back :-)

Edit: basically, I don't mind the venting of the OP because I know how annoying it can be. People aren't gonna make it easier for you, though, because they don't give a **** about you :-P

 

[GreenKirby]

I will always say this: if you have a problem with the customer in a service industry, quit your job. People who hate their job so much that it shows need not work in service. People who cannot adapt to everyone need not work in service industry.

Your job is to SERVE. They pay you for it, and in essence, they are your bosses.

So if you were in customer service, and I kicked you in the balls and then every other customer from now on kicked you in the balls, you're just gonna sit there and suck it up cause, 'they're your bosses?'

Cool :D

 

[Kinzer]

Isn't that called "assault", maybe? I dunno, just throwing it out there.

 

[GreenKirby]

So what? I'm still his 'boss.' And I say workers' rights can go **** itself. lol

 

[Mith_]

Hmm...I may just order online from now on.

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

How to "order pizza":

1. Make up some crazy toppings
or
1. Order 25 pizzas to be delivered to your teacher's house
or
1. Ask the guy that picks up the phone weird questions like "would you like to come over to my house?"

then

2. Wait for response

then

3. Hang up and laugh.

 

[M@v]

This threads wins. I worked at a pizza place too and everything the TC said is true.(except we didnt deliver)

 

[awesomeblaze]

When I go somewhere to get pizza,I wait there. And I bring a book or my Game Boy Micro to keep me occupied.

 

[The Sauce Boss]

You know what? I think the problem is your attitude. And no, I don't care either if your service sucks because there's a hundred other pizza places I can go to which don't give me attitude.

''Oh no. The customer asked me a vague question. Instead of asking him to specify, I'm going to get mad about it and not answer him properly!! And then wonder why time is wasted!!!''

It's called a ''conversation''.

edit: I never threaten to take my business elsewhere. I simply do it.

You know what YOUR problem is? My service doesn't suck. I treat everyone with respect and make some MEAN pies. I can see how it would be easy to assume from this thread that I am sour to customers, but the truth is I am NOT. You have wrongfully assumed. As long as somebody is not COMPLETELY out of line (makes threats or something) I give them the same treatment as everyone else, except for big tippers who get free stuff .

All I am doing is poking fun at the dumb ways people order food, ways the MAJORITY of people don't do it, but you are too self-righteous to understand. I am not some angst-ridden diabolical pizza man plotting revenge thru giving you less pepperonis. Rather, I am just a kid who has witnessed some fairly absurd people at my job.

Yes, out of respect for me and my time, I DO want you to be concise with your order. Is it that much to ask? I have no problem with casual conversation, but pausing for 45 seconds at a time while deciding your order, making me wonder if you are even still there, is NOT casual conversation. If you want to ask me how my day is, or tell me how yours was, go for it! Want to know my personal favorite pizza? I'll tell you. These are not the situations I was addressing.

Like I already said, when people make threats of taking their business elsewhere it does not shake us--at all. Are you honestly threatening me with that? Do I care at all if you cancel your order? No. Less food for me to make. 99% of people are decent enough human beings to not get to this point anyways. The only people who do do so because of two reasons:

1. They think it is too pricey (should of checked the price before they called)
2. They are an idiot who has made some ridiculous request we can't fulfill (no we will not deliver 20 miles out of our zone).

You have to be a complete and total a** for me to actually be rude in anyway. Not once in this thread have I mentioned anything rude I have done to a customer. Here is kicker, it is because I am not rude to people! Please allow me to poke fun at people without receiving your flames. Nobody is above being made fun of, especially crazy *** customers. I suggest you take a chill pill 30mg, twice daily.

 

[1048576]

I am not rude to people! ... I suggest you take a chill pill 30mg, twice daily.

I'm not gonna lie, that was funny.

There's a pizza buffet near me, so I have no need for you fancy shmancy "customer service"

 

[Spire]

One of the best threads I've seen on SWF. Thanks for the read Sauce Boss, and I'll be sure to practice proper ordering etiquette next time but I'm a pro at ordering.

 

[toon_marth]

I work at a pizza place. It has come to my attention that people are terrible at ordering food. Seriously, it is not that difficult, but customers love to find ways to complicate it beyond belief. Here are some rookie mistakes you can avoid!

1. Decide what you want THEN call

Do not call and keep me on the line for 15 minutes talking to your buddies about what toppings you want. It is annoying. Why are you making me listen to the debate between pepperoni or ham?

2. Speak up

Me not being able to hear you puts me in a tight situation. If I don't get your order right you will probably call and complain--not something I want to deal with. There is no need to whisper into the phone. It doesn't make you sound "chill" or "cool". If you call from a cell phone make sure it isn't a piece of **** that cuts in and out every 2 seconds.

3. Don't come early

When I say it is going to take 25 minutes for your food to be done, I mean it. Don't come in 5 minutes and be pissed that you have to wait. Standing at the front of the store and making us check up on your food every 30 seconds is annoying.

4. I will not make your food cost less

Sorry that you didn't look at the prices before ordering, but I can't make it cost less. I don't decide the prices. If you cancel your order I really don't care, at all.

5. Don't let the first thing you ask be "what kind of deals do you have".

I know I know, it seems innocent enough, you just want to know if we have specials. Here is the thing, we ALWAYS have specials. Lots of them. And I don't know which one you want. You have to at least give me an idea of what you are going to order for me to guide you to a special. What do you want me to do, list off the 12 or so deals we have? If you ask "what kind of deals do you have" I usually just tell you the easiest order for me to make.

6. Don't order stuff we don't have

We actually don't make "x" pizza..... Yes I know that other pizza place makes it. That does not mean we do.

7. Don't make ridiculous orders

Quadruple sausage won't logistically fit on a pizza. We can't make a half square and half round pizza. When you say you want "everything" on it I really doubt it. We have probably about 20-30 different things we can put on a pizza.

8. Learn to tip

If you think the drivers don't remember the good and bad tippers, you are mistaken. Good tippers get free stuff. Bad people...well...


That is some of the more common ones I get. It all boils down to this. Stop being such a difficult ***, order clearly, and be respectful. Thank You!

Gimme the number to your restaurant.Please.

 

[KayLo!]

Mmm, now I'm hungry for some pizza.

 

[JFox]

I will always say this: if you have a problem with the customer in a service industry, quit your job. People who hate their job so much that it shows need not work in service. People who cannot adapt to everyone need not work in service industry.

Your job is to SERVE. They pay you for it, and in essence, they are your bosses.

Have you ever worked in any type of a restaurant? People are ******** when it comes to ordering food. I've worked in restaurants for about 5 years now, and I know exactly where this guy is coming from. People literally make up dishes, and they treat you like an inferior species, and are completely oblivious of there stupidity.

 

[GoldShadow]

I, for one, enjoyed this thread and think that the criticism against Sauce Boss is unfounded. I've never worked in service, but I know a lot of people who have, so I always try to empathize with the people making and bringing my food.

 

[SuperBowser]

Well sorry for assuming you are rude to customers, Sauce Boss. Though when you repeatedly call the customer an ''idiot'' and swear and get mad, perhaps you need the chill pill. I am never rude to people and nothing I said implies I would be and so I expect the same courtesy in return.

Your complaint is still ridiculous though. People in everyday conversation ask vague questions - it's nothing to do with them being dumb. If you don't understand the question, ask them to specify. It takes all of 5 seconds and it's nothing to get annoyed over.

In my experience, most pizza places do not place all their deals (and therefore prices) on their flyers. You yourself said your restaurant has several deals and I would fully expect to hear all of them. Sometimes, the delivery charge isn't even on the flyer. Therefore, I do not know if an establishment is too expensive or not. I don't feel bad for phoning up and finding out. That's kind of what a phone is for.

I never threateded you. But if I feel someone is rude to me, I choose not to have business with them (never happenned with me on the phone because most people understand that a large group people new to their restaurant can take a few minutes to decide on food). Sure, it can be annoying. But it's common and you should expect it. A group of new customers unaware of all your deals are naturally going to think about what they buy.