So I got to tell you all my life story. It all started this one day with SEX. And so a tiny little baby was born the size of a peanut, peanuts absorb light so due to decrease of photosynthetic activities in the womb mutations happened. By 1337 years, this baby had grown to about 7 foot 2 inches in height and 200 pounds. This baby was of course black and held within him the ph1r3. After 2021 more years, sealab was made and everyone had to go live there, this is where things go wrong. The father who held the baby in his womb died, causing cancer and brain damage due to the baby unable to be supported. At this point, all hope was lost as no medicinal technology was able to cure death, not even phoenix down! But it was also this moment in which the glorious CAPTAIN ****ING FALCON appeared out of nowhere! He moves closer to the dead father and says "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAALCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON" bring his massive arms back, "PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and thrusted his glorious phoenix flame fisting action of justice into the stomach of the dead father. At this point, the black baby suddenly regained all his intelligence back, his cancer was cured, and he himself turned into the godly spawn Falcon Jr.. This child was to be the holy incarnation and heir to the one and only Captain ****ing Falcon. And so life was good for the people. Many had grown crops, many had pursued politics, but no one dared to do what Falcon Jr. did. He ran straight into the white house, killed the president with his massive ***** of justice, and delivered a bloody and satisfying death to the government. This was without repercussion as the world turned against him, even his father. With that, the boy left the earth and moved into space where he became aroused by the dark side, and moved back to his inner darkness, becoming the Black Shadow. He did not do much for a few years, just plotting the eventual downfall of humanity with his massive *****. One day, he decided to go to earth, and **** 50 virgins, resulting in the creation of failures to humanity such as Masahiro Sakurai and that guy from Britney's dance crew. This put a huge dent into the justice that is Captain ****ing Falcon, and so when Black Shadow went back into space, Captain ****ing Falcon follows him. This resulted in an epic battle with nipples and *****es, and at the end of it all no matter what we pretend the journey is more important than the end or the start, what it meant to us will eventually be a memory of the time they tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. And with this, Captain ****ing Falcon said "Watashi wa shinan, SHINANZOOOOO!!!!" and was knocked the **** out by ICHIGO'S ****ING HOLLOW FORM'S GETSUGA TENSHOU!!!! This led Black Shadow to madness and thus forced himself to tie a piano wire hang and put a chair below it, he also super glued his hand to his head, and when he became an hero from jumping off the chair and into the piano wire, everyone was completely mind****ed. Saying things like "Holy **** did that guy rip his own ****ing head off?". At the end of all of this, the blood from Black Shadow manifested itself into the great skillz god Fergadis. Fergadis owned everyone at everything with his mad skillz, getting bored, he turned himself into the next best thing from being a god. He turned himself into, an asian...
Who you all know as me
