It's interesting but table top gaming communities at least around here don't seem to have this issue despite being a similar community to video games.
I think because tabletop games are done with people who are expected to get to know each other via regular meetings. They just become part of the group and are just a member. They wouldn't care who the hell's playing, just as long as someone's playing with them. It's like a band. My dad plays in a local classic rock band and they're almost always looking for a drummer or a singer. They don't care who plays, just as long as they have those roles filled. If you don't show up/be an ass/not learn the lyrics to the song (No joke, they had this dude for like a year or a two who REFUSED to learn Keep On Rockin' In The Free World and would always improv. He's gone.), you're not welcome in the band. Hell the drummer's a woman and she's damn good, but no one draws attention to it because it doesn't matter, she's just there to rock out.
Have you ever played a game with voice chat? Any time a girl tries to talk, it's ****ing mayhem.
I used to be active in a TF2 community that slowly got as many girls as it did guys. They were treated equally on the server and no attention was drawn to them because they just played the game with their friends and just chilled. Take note that the group I'm a member of is basically "Lovable A-holes: The Community". Do something stupid or laughable, expect to get made fun of. The only time we had a situation where it was "a ****ing mayhem" was this woman who thought we were teasing her because "lol girl", when in fact she was being a bit of a ***** herself, and when she tried to argue she tried to shoehorn in that she was lesbian AND a girl. So she got essentially got told "Who cares".
TF2 has recently become a stupid and annoying community, but back then before all the dank memes and stupid attention to pink pixels in a 1960s spy film inspired game, it was tolerable and generally accepting as long you just played the game, even with voice chat. Because no one cared. They just wanted whatever was needed for their team, different crotch or not. Of course, there will also always be those types that treat a girl special because they're a girl and they want to be liked more by said girl. My community has also gotten this lately, where a girl friend of mine has gotten over 200 games on Steam, just because she was a girl. Those people are called desperate.
Players that are different from a group, however, will ALWAYS be pointed out for whatever reason, because they are different from the usual player. Noah in MvC3 was like 8 or 9 and people were wild that a 9 year old was trashing EVO with friggin' Hulk, of all characters. People were surprised that Brolylegs, a disabled dude who literally plays with one hand and his tongue+cheek, was stomping some ass at SF4 with Chun-Li while also playing Melee. Officer Jenny goes to S@X and wins matches with her ZSS. Zero has a damn nickname because he was the only dude wearing a scarf in tournies he went to. They're all treated with respect (Zero is debatable, he has a lot of hate going for him) because they're all good players.
Like Iceweasel said though, a lot of female gamers just aren't interested in competitive Smash. I understand the want for more acceptance for women in gaming groups, but if you want the women in this community to be accepted the easiest way to accept it is not draw attention to it. Like, really. Don't give a crap if a girl's there or not. And if you're going by a Twitch chat to judge how things are going on at a tourney like S@X or whatever, remember: It's Twitch chat. Really.
Seriously, if you're actually there at a tourney and there's a girl, want to know how to make them feel accepted? Want to know how to make anyone of any race/sexuality/main/favorite milkshake flavor feel accepted? Don't care. Don't make a big deal about it. A girl at the tourney won't know what's going on in some chat designed to contain annoying comments from random people they'll possibly never meet unless you go "Hey wanna see what people on the Internet think of you playing video games?" If they ARE one of those types that draw attention to their gender, for some reason? Ignore them.
TL;DR Where's my post above about not caring about who the person playing with you is? Follow it. Follow it and play video games.
If parts of this post go off-topic or not make sense, I'm sorry: It's late and I'm half asleep.
