This thread: a summary
12/05/04
Maybe Ken was just bored and hadn't developed enough of an internet sense to know when a topic won't spur discussion. Whatever the reason, he starts this stinker of a thread, and unwittingly seals his doom, being forever remembered for having started one of the worst threads ever to plague Smashboards for all eternity. The thread lives for a couple weeks, long after the topic has been rendered comatose by its own inanity, sustained only by the posts of random scrubs who want to be able to say they posted in one of sephirothken's threads (I'll never clear my browser cache ever again!).
03/15/06
I can't tell if fluffy is this pathetic of a Ken fanboy to post in a thread TWO YEARS after it died, or if he's just a truly brilliant troll, seeing the chance to remind us all that, even if only once in his life, Ken was a total freaking knob. (Well, okay twice; Survivor: Gabon was one huge kludge of stupidity.) Either way, he makes a beatifully worded post about Ken's coolness, bringing this stunted discussion back to the misery of its pathetic life.
Magically, as though the thread had never died, terrible posts once again keep the thread at the top of the pile, letting everyone know that yes, most of us are right-handed. NO ONE EVEN NOTICES how old the thread is until Vall3y rightfully points out how utterly idiotic the reason for reviving the thread is. Ken himself even points out how inexplicable it is that people are actually still talking about this crap. Once people realize the topic is already dead, they blissfully continue to cudgel its decayed remains, like it was a living blob of stupid. Over the rest of 2006, the thread is revived three separate times without anyone noticing, before again succumbing to the unholy slumber of the undead.
07/20/08
Suffice to say, Vodage lives in a state of superposition over the dimension of time. This is why he has no comprehension of the fact that he has just revived a twice dead and horribly mutilated topic. For him, this thread is neither alive nor dead; it simply is. Once again, the denizens of Smash World Forums are completely unperturbed by the topic's disfigured form, and continue to desecrate its animated corpse.
Five months later, the thread is passing once again, but is rudely awakened by two ****ing words, that not only stand to reason, but contribute absolutely nothing to any semblance of discussion that remains in the thread. It is only during this next flurry of slowpoke Ken fanboy posts someone realizes how much of a dinosaur this thread is. And still, people act like there's still some deep, unexplored depth to plumb in the muddy salt flat that is the topic. (How many unique metaphors can I use? Who's counting?) As a much appreciated Christmas gift, the thread again passes from our realm. But not in vain.
09/06/11
Like all good horror films, this thread has decided 2011 is a great year for a truly embarrassing reboot. And Caprisun is its first unfortunate victim. Poor guy. Maybe it's because we've all finally grown, and most of us know when there's honestly nothing left to discuss in a topic. Maybe we're all just jaded, and feel like dismissing a thread simply because it's old. Whatever the reason, people actually point out fairly early on that this thread is absurdly old. One of us (yours truly) even suggests that it might be a good idea to lock thread, because it's clearly very dead, and people who keep talking about it could probably go bust a nut in the time it took them to post here, and they'd still be more productive (frequent ejaculation reduces risk of prostate cancer--look it up).
Due to the obscenely high levels of banality in this thread, and the fact that if we don't kill it dead this time, it could still come back to haunt us, I submit that this thread be locked. Thank you for your consideration.