~§~ Puerto Rico: Land of overlooked accomplishments ~§~

[Elypsion]

So how does one transcend the boundaries imposed by physics and post 100 messages in under two hours. Or a thousand in less than a week? I'll tell you how... by having the biggest E-peen this side of the universe, that's how.

 

[Elypsion]

Twenty five to go, this is exciting. My back hair is tingling like the jawbone of an ***. Yes, that's right, I said it.

 

[Elypsion]

Did ya'll see when that hottie was all up in my Cool-aid? Yeah, I was looking to break off a li'l suin some, but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and she's aaaaall about the bling bling.

 

[Elypsion]

Yo pops, hand me over some cheddar. Some playa' haters be throwing salt in my game, grillin' me over mah gear, and I needs to be macking style!

 

[Elypsion]

I was brought up on the streets no moms or dads. I had to fend for myself with my own two hands, but today I'm hurt, and I'll tell ya' why. I got a hangnail (hangnail!) hanging from my cuticle. A hangnail (handnail) it ain't beautiful. It hurts like a ***** that I did last night...

 

[Elypsion]

So have you all heard about this new drug called Lolis? You can sniff it, huff it, inject it directly into your veins. You can dilute it in hydrochloric acid and drop it right into your eyeball. You can freebase it, lick it, and take it rectally. It totally kicks ***.

 

[Elypsion]

Loli... powers... dwindling... must... reach... goal... I have the power! A page all to myself? I have reached a new level of spammage, only seen by Spammy Spammerson of the Spam boards.

 

[Elypsion]

I wonder when the admins will ban me. I mean seriously, this **** is out of hand. How many replies must I write before they close this thread down for good? Fewls...

 

[Bubbleman_Nsider]

I have acquired: Bubble Blaster.

Oh my gooses, how did I do it?

One word my friends, one word: Roofies.

Bubble Blaster? Who the #ell stole that from me?

continue on brave warrior

 

[Elypsion]

Thanks to Bubbleman, I can now Vertical Firewall. Thank you Bubbleman!

 

[Elypsion]

Honestly, this is all getting a little on the ridiculous side. My eyes are bleeding dog food for Christ's sake. And it's late. But I have 16 messages to go. Can I do it?!

 

[Elypsion]

525,600 minutes, how do you measure, measure a year? In ****ing days or months you mumbling idiot. It's much more practical. That's like measuring your **** in millimeters.

 

[Elypsion]

The rain, in Spain, stays mainly in the plains. You know why? Because it knows what's good for it. I'll be kicking that rain's *** all over the place if it didn't stay in the plains.

 

[Elypsion]

Oh ****, I only have 14 minutes left to make 14 posts. I must hurry, I must meet my goal!

 

[Elypsion]

For a second there, I thought that last message only had one sentence. I was about to get visibly disturbed.

 

[maximuspita]

do it for great justice

 

[Elypsion]

Transformers were always kind of homo-erotic too. I mean, you always had Optimus Prime talking about balls and *** in code.

"Lets kick some tailgate."

and

"If you've got the cast iron manifolds to do it!"

 

[Elypsion]

For greater justice shoot off every zig.

Someone set us up the bomb after all.

 

[Elypsion]

Someone set us up the bomb!

We get signal!

What?!

Main screen turn on.

It's you!

How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time.

 

[Elypsion]

What are little boys made of? Glue, and nails, and puppy dog tails? Well, the internets is made of Wikipedia and Youtube.

 

[Bubbleman_Nsider]

8 more to go, hurry up and finish, you'll go down on the thread's history.

 

[Elypsion]

I can do it. I can do it aaaaaall niiiiight looooong... God I hate Adam Sandler...

 

[Omitachi]

you can doe it!! doe it for the poor, doe it for the animals, doe it for... for... for the meaning of JUSTICE!!!

 

[Elypsion]

Seven more to go. Seven, my lucky number. Also the max number of times a guy can jerk off in a day before his ***** becomes useless for a few hours. Does anything come out by then? GAWD.

 

[Elypsion]

Why the **** is a word like P3nis censored? And why the **** did I just type "power" instead of "word", causing myself to have to backspace madly and lose time.

 

[Elypsion]

Five more, the nemesis of my lucky number, seven. Also, four more bullets than is necessary to kill a man.

 

[Elypsion]

**** You Server. You Will Let Me Post More Than One Message Every 30 Seconds! I Command It! In The Name Of The Lolis!

 

[Elypsion]

And those gay ads are starting to piss me off. Ever heard of dont ask dont tell? Look, even my grammar is being adversly affected. GAWD.

 

[Elypsion]

Oh hell no, you did NOT just remove my capslock in the before-previous message. What kind of ****** designed that. What if I want to flame someone in caps? I mean GAWD.

 

[Elypsion]

The last one... the big 100... I have graduated past Smash Noob and entered the world of Journeyman. And all in the span of 2 hours (less actually). Thank you for challenging me to it, and thank you for the support. RAWR!

 

[Elypsion]

WTF, I just noticed the ad for "Furcadia". Is that some sort of Furry game or something? Who thought up of that name anyway?

 

[Bubbleman_Nsider]

Wow, congrats, time to party!
You just lost a hundred toto points and gained about 157 spam points.
*bar fills up* ding!
Your spam level went up!

 

[Elypsion]

I need to move my monitor, I have to look up, and after posting 100+ messages, my neck hurts like a gay man's anus. You know, 'cause a straight guy just totally kicked his ***.

 

[Omitachi]

Awwww!! Congratz! You have balls dude XD

 

[Elypsion]

The toto point theory has already been disproved by the massive amounts of ***** someone gets... I forget who... but you know who I'm talking about I'm sure.

 

[Elypsion]

The total tally is: 103 posts in two hours. I started at 1:06 in the morning, and ended at 3:06 in the morning. I think I'll hit the sack now, and then I'll go to bed.

 

[Elypsion]

Just remember, I'll be back for more spammage tomorrow. I need to reach my goal of 1,000 posts in a week.

 

[Vain]

Elypsion T_T

Just remember, I'll be back for more spammage tomorrow. I need to reach my goal of 1,000 posts in a week.

Smash Journeyman already....
Your very existance destroyed my so hard earned goal of reaching 100 posts after such a long time.
It's like...all my hard work of posting constructive criticism on the Character expecific and video threads meant nothing.
I congratulate you for totally making my effort seem vague compared to your spammage.
Good job

 

[Blazing]

Awesome Shet You Guyz =]

 

[maximuspita]

Vain, long ago i noticed that post count does not make you a better nor a more respected smasher, keep that in mind kay.