CRASHiC

sure you did

Have you seen Juri in action?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfGFWS03C1g

Looks beast as hell

wrong? nah, that's not wrong... as you yourself said it's natural... the fact you even recognize it however is a GOOD thing, it's yet another example of your maturity and depth at understanding emotion. years ago my roomate in college told me "all that we do is for selfishness." I debated this with him, it ended in stalemate (as they usually did w/him, lol he as stubborn as me) but his side and point was that even doing something "nice" is really to make ourselves feel good, and so it's inherently selfish. It would be years before I could shake that feeling, even though I didn't believe it, his words stuck to the back of my mind like glue, causing me to toil w/the idea that in fact maybe I was totally selfish, just doing things for gratitude. But I learned that that is BS. We do things for gratitude, sure, but not ONLY gratitude, there's a mutal need between two people... 2 people need to be able to exchange their virtues, their livelihoods, their love, their sacrifice. A one-way relationship is one where one person gives it all, and the other does nothing with it, not take, not give back, just lets it fall off like water beading on a windshield. A proper two-way relationship, like me and bridget share, like you and dee share, entails a give and take, give and give-back... and you can rest assured that your feelings are not evil or maliced or wrong-placed. You're relieved, is all And that's a good thing. It means you really do love her... that without her there, your life would mean less, and with you, her life would mean less. It means that everything you've sacrificed has not been in vain, and that you two -are- working towards a cooperative goal, a future together. And that my friend is something many couples fail to realize, grasp, or experience. Count your blessings, and be thankful for her, and all she is, as I'm sure she is thankful for you.

As for her hangups w/having sex w/this other guy, well... heh, regardless of the what, the why is becoming more clear. Women with strong emotional backgrounds like Dee require.. no... experience a stronger emotional bond during intercourse than other women. And this bond requires there be an intimacy of the heart that you and her share already, and that pales in comparrison with this other gentleman. That's not for you to gloat over ^^ just a fact that you can tuck away and further be thankful for, cause YOU'RE her guy, not him, and this bit about the sex is further evidence of that.

hope that all made sense

No sweat, champ. You're the best :D You are well beyond your years. I kinda took a peak at that twitter you posted @Dee and was like woah but I see you two have worked past that, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Yeah, definitely don't wanna risk making the situation worse. The best thing in these types of situations is to let nature take its course. She'll learn on her own while with him that its you she really wants, and so long as she's firm and resolute she will be able to break up with him without too much drama.

Well, from my own experience and especially while dealing with mental disorders (bi-polarism seems to be common in my mates) I can attest that you did the right thing, for starters. Separating to heal is actually essential once you've reached a certain point. 3 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, whatever is determined, it's essential to do so that you can truly assess yourselves as individuals. You should always remember that your relationship with Dee was fundamentally destined for this, -because- of its nature. Remembering that will help alleviate that nagging voice inside that wants you to be any at all bitter about this outcome or your future with her (or without her as it may turn out to be). You DID help her, and she you. You DID make her a better person for your involvement with her, and that is all anyone can ever hope to accomplish in any relationship, sexual or otherwise.

I can't help but be concerned about this 'other' guy though... I'm curious as to why you'd get involved w/someone on such a deep level that had another man in their life... because his presence will in fact undoubtedly complicate Dee's and yours future together, unless she breaks up with him, which being a navy man, won't be easy for her to accomplish (and yep, they definitely wanna marry quick, have kids and a family quick, it's their way, also spoken from experience.) The long time navy wives spend alone often leads to extra marital affairs, it's a tumultuous road they walk down, navy couples, military, but navy especially, we've got a lot of navy here on the coast, and there are tons of bars filled every night w/navy wives looking for "fun" and flings. It's kinda scary. I am in NO way suggesting this is how Dee would behave, just illustrating the complexities that naval marriage can bring to human interpersonal relationships. As a real man, you would, I assume, do the right thing, and never let her degrade herself in that way with you.

This all said, I again respect you both for you mature decision, but I also caution you... though you are technically "separate" your mind will play tricks on you, keep you invested in her, so to speak... you have to really think about pushing your feelings deep down so as to truly allow yourself to be apart, and of course, this does suggest a possibility, that you'll fall out of love. IF that happens, it's for the best. If it doesn't, then, great! So long as she leaves him. See? Too many ifs in this equation, we are animals of logic, we need absolutes to sleep at night. You've taken a first important step, separating, something others at first glance would have suggested before now even albeit for the wrong reasons... now that you are separate, you will want to take it real slow, and patiently, and focus more on yourself, and what you need in life, want out of life... this sort of thing.

Anyhow wow, dude I don't envy your situation. I hope it does work out for the best. Just remember you did it, you did it right, and you did it for the right reasons. You helped her become a better person, and that gift will stay with her for the rest of her days.

hey! yeah, I hear ya, that's super mature of you to think that way, and I'm glad you're working things out for the better...

I've been so engrossed in my new mac and digital mixer (FINALLY! :D) I can't seem to steal away long enough to post lately, lol plus I'm still shopping for new keys and maybe an effects processor ... we spent a LOT of money recently tho "catching up" so to speak, so it may have to wait until tax season ^^

I ain't forgot bout ya, imma work on some b- tracks for us and if I can get something down I'll post it

Ha! That IS a good track, I first heard way back when you first pointed me to them... I spent like a whole weekend just listening to aphex twin. It's amazing how far his sound has come, and how cutting edge he was.

Speaking of which I just learned a F load of stuff from watching this dude's ut00b channel... it's quite amazing just how much sound and style you can get from a simple setup:

http://www.youtube.com/user/fischek#p/u/12/eG9NyH4CsSI

Good, just take it easy and everything will be fine.

Well thats good.

this is becoming more and more difficult to see how things will turn out in the end.

****, i dont even know what to say..
wow..

Dude, it's no problem. I'm a friend, that's what I'm here for. Don't worry about it. And if you ever need to rant or talk or what-have-you, I'm always here.

I don't like giving out advice on relationships, so I'll wish you the best of luck. I feel like that's really all I can at this point. Keep your chin up.

Good luck my friend. I have confidence in you.

Hey long time no chat! Happy-almost new year!

I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't even imagine leaving my man. I hope everything works out okay. I'll be thinking of you.

I know what you mean...

You okay?

LOL! Yeah, that's pretty much us ... she actually got comments like that from a few of her friends when they first found out. "Wait, aren't you a lesbian? Wait, he's a GUY????" haha so much for sexuality being written in stone ^^ And of course all -my- friends were like " w04h wtg d00d u h00k3d up w/a lesbian!!!1!111!" I'm like... "yeah. I did." :D

thank man, i havent heard your stuff yet, send me a link

hey crashic, id like to point you in the direction of my new project.

myspace.com/thisislittlefoot

its just a demo so far. i know youre a music guy, hope you like post hardcore


oh and just in case you havent seen it, myspace.com/folkthesystemband = my life

Haha, sounds awesome. I approve!

WOOOOOW, lol!!!!!!!!!!! That was amazing, yo. Holy ****! Makes me want to main CF ROFLMAO!!!! Dude! Nuts. Ok, sweet, so basically just make some tracks kinda like the level of 3rd Strike and they'll inserted into the various texture hacked brawl stages... Music and background go hand in hand, they complement each other, play off of each other. That's what I like about Brawl, the stages are so diverse, as diverse as the music and characters. I will try not to disappoint ^^ DDD tho? Heck yeah, one of my favorite remixes is the DDD theme. I will start there to get my feet wet and go from there, with some original material, and we'll see what happens.

:D Merry Christmas, yo. We lost the computer for a bit, lol VIRUS >< Launched like on xmas eve apparently, kept us pretty busy... **** yo, that's some serious haul you worked... -_-

WOW! really? Yeah :D i'd love to... if I could get an idea of the stage layout or maybe see a screen shot of the art in use, it'd go a long way in helping me put something together. I appreciate the offer :D Haha yeah, I have always written good video game music, its my curse almost, cause I really haven't been able to write anything 'above' that, but meh, go with your strengths they say, and whatnot. Capcom makes awesome tracks... so anyway yeah totally dude I write really fast so just let me know whats up and I'm there.

Oi oi, happy christmas

I'm a bit late, but figured I should still write you a small VM.

I've had some bad luck lately, which includes my glasses breaking, missing gloves and more importantly;
My laptop just decided to **** around with me
The keyboard is broken, but it still inputs keys without be being able to turn it off etc, so I can't type using my keyboard, and the battery can't be recharged atm. This forces me on this (****ty) computer without skype : (
I was wanting to wish you a merry christmas but it slipped through my mind when I didn't have skype, so I did it today : D

Life sucks, then you die.

AWESOME. Guard points?

just listened to it again, and yeah actually, I do think it is definitely album material... it's short enough that it could be the 1st track (which would play into its meaning, "hi, my name is..." which is a good introduction, and it sets the stage well, it shows off some of your more interesting sampling ability AND it's actually melodic despite being an analog sample, which is totally ******. There's even a baseline that starts to form as it comes to an end, so your next track should pick up on that, not necessarily the same notes, but the drive is there, you wanna keep that momentum going...

Word. Don't sacrifice quality, though, if it takes you a bit longer, it's COOL, just let it work itself out. I know you're moving soon, tho... and it'd be nice to have a demo on hand when you hit LA... if I can be of any help I'm at your disposal.

This time next week I'll have my new digital mixer from my sister. w00t! :D

Never. Change. Your Avatar. Again.

yep, so my name should be floating above

my will to do so dwindled when I saw I wasn't in it ;___;

I was going to, but I didn't get financial aid for school, so now I'm saving and hopefully I can go

3/6 of the players in my crew are in the sbr lol so when ever we hangout or play I scroll the backrooms lol

I assure you, it's not worth your time though.

So what state are you from?

Nope, not to my knowledge, nothing goes on back there anyway lol

I lurk like a broomer, but I've never had official access.

haha wooow that is totally us, creepy!

No, actually. neither one of us can really draw worth a darn, lol. My buddy Steven Warner on the other hand is an excellent artist.

http://sucumbio.com/pages/galleries/artwork.html

I've always been pink >_<

lol

I don't want to sound like a lyre, but I lol'd.

Cviper is ownage

is there any way i can contact you off of smashboards good sir.

Dude, that sucks. I'm really sorry to hear about it, but you seem to be taking it well. At least it'll be warmer in Key West, am I right?

Sweet Coraline music. I'm definitely going to have check more of that out.

aw man! haha that's like that greek myth w/the dude chained up to a tree and he is thirsty but when the water is near he bends to drink and it recedes.

enjoy your b-day party! fresh sushi is good Mmmm

oh no doubt, he's the king of the pioneering-electro-hill lol if someone asks "so what's the most fresh, new and inventive music alive today?" the answer is Totems Flare by Chris Clark. Just when you think the Win can't get any more Epic, it does.

Dose One? Had never heard of them, until now :D They're pretty good, I like the style.

hell yeah! Definitely wanna hear your LP!!

Chris Clark's new album is Gold. Pure Gold. I have been getting into a lot of the various artists from his label Warp, as they basically house all the best names in the genre right now. Well many of them.