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You Laugh You Lose: Gentlemen's Club Edition

NinjaFoxX

NinjaFoxX

Banned via Warnings
Joined
Nov 16, 2005
Messages
6,035
Location
Small hole, looks nice though~
why????????/????????/

anyways, anyone aware of "the evil overlord list"? this is pretty much that but with Lifetime Movies:


  • I will make sure that the legal measures I am presently taking will allow me to keep my baby for the rest of my life. I don't want to get jerked around by any more lawyers.
  • Building on that, I will go and get a female lawyer the first thing I do.
  • I will avoid the male gender at all costs. They are only out to get me. I will make an exception for the childhood friend who has no romantic interest in me, because he won't be as evil as the rest of them.
  • I will believe any and all stories about the man I am about to marry. Allegations that he has a secret second family; that he's really an Ax Crazy murderer; and others, these will all be completely true by the end of the movie.
  • I will not have children. It never helps things. They only end up used as bargaining chips in kidnappings anyway.
    • If I must have children, they will be wearing tracking devices at all times. I will have a network of people just making sure that they're OK everywhere they go. When any daughters I have turn 13, I will send them out of town to live with relatives until they're able to work through whatever life issues they will no doubt develop.
  • I will go to the cops the instant my husband shows the slightest hint of being abusive.
    • Unless the cops are male. Then I'll just have no choice but to kill him.
  • When I am in the hospital giving birth to my child, I will make sure that my room is secure and there is a sign-in sheet on the front door. Only female doctors will be allowed in. I will tell my terrible, awful baby daddy that I'm giving birth at another hospital on the other side of town. Finally, I will make absolutely sure that the child is legally mine and that no one can take him/her from me.
  • If I am male, I will identify the heroine as quickly as possible and stay the hell away from her. The less screentime I get, the better.
    • If I absolutely must be around her (for work-related reasons or something), I will remain cold and aloof at all times, and use any excuse I can find to be in a different city. The less I interact with her, the better.
    • If I can't get out of it, I will, at the earliest opportunity, smash a hole in the Fourth Wall and brutally murder the writing staff and the producers in revenge for every indignity they would no doubt subject me to. That will at least mean if I'm the villain, I've earned it rightfully.
  • Better yet, I will cross-dress. I'm male. What the hell am I doing on this network, anyway?
  • Even better, If I am offered to be on this network before the above future indignities occur, I will decline said offer, no matter how well it pays, and haul *** outta the vicinity as soon as possible.
 
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