The reason why this behavior isn't acceptable to me is because competitive gaming is effectively, the entirety of my life. I dedicate just about every waking moment, and cent earned toward sustaining my ability to compete, and provide content. Working, paying bills, training, research, buying equipment, travel, etc. To me, having my skill demeaned because of my gender is a much more insulting thing than most other things people could possibly say.
As a competitive person. A PARTICULARLY competitive person, being viewed as anything else than an equal on the playing field is a complete insult to the time, effort, and sweat shed in the 14 long years I've spent a competitive gamer. It hurts. You're telling me to "get over" or sweep under the rug something that does legitimately hurt my feelings, and lessens my experience at an event. "For a girl" is the key phrase, because it implies that, if I were male, my skill would be less than what it is, which certainly isn't true. My tournament history says otherwise. However, because I'm not a superstar, and that I don't always make waves out of state, I'm a player regularly undervalued. It's not pleasant, and those three words drive the nail in deeper. Transphobic remarks I get when traveling doesn't help that, either.
I do agree that "for a girl" needs to be phased out. Women should be treated as an equal. Not that I said "Equal" and not "the same." You don't treat a woman the way you would with your guy friends. That should be common sense.
These posts do come across as at least somewhat passive aggressive. While you're not being outright offensive, or abrasive with your posts, phrases like "just be strong" stand out to me as offensive. It's another implication that I'm NOT strong already, or that I'm acting more strongly about this subject than you think I should. You're forcing your opinion on to me. Does that make sense?
In that case, if you are not able to handle demeaning comments, you really shouldn't be in any sort of competitive scene. If you can't sweep them under the rug (especially when they are not the most hurtful thing that could be said/done), why bother doing this? It's a simple fact of life that a lot of things come with hardship. For example, I'm training to become a video games designer. And video games design comes with demeaning comments. Just think about all of the games that get crapped on for no good reason (Brawl, for example, has suffered this. It's an amazing game, but some people don't want to acknowledge that because it's not competitive enough), and all of the death threats developers get. Chances are I'm going to experience all of that horrible stuff, but I'm going into the trade KNOWING this, and ready to cope with it. Instead of spending ages on twitter dealing with jerks on the internet like some developers do, I'm just gonna make my games and if people don't like them for stupid reasons, then that's their problem and not mine, because I know I can't please everyone.
I'm not saying the comments you receive are right, but it's impossible for people to stop saying them, because as I've said, some people are stupid, awkward, bad with words, etc. And I can bet that the majority of times you've heard that phrase, it wasn't even intended to be offensive, it was just a guy being awkward. As I have also said, if this recurring phrase is coming from the same few people you see again and again, tell them you don't like to hear that phrase, and maybe they will stop. But if the people doing this are just an assortment of random people you only saw once, then learn to sweep it under the rug, because getting all hot and bothered over it when a stranger says it isn't going to do anything for you, and you can't exactly stop them once they've already let the phrase slip out. Unless you intend to stalk them and harass them about it or something, but I'd like to think you'd never do that, as it won't help your case.
And personally, I treat women and men more or less the same. Maybe your idea of treating a man is "be rough and vulgar", but some guys don't actually like that. Similarly, some girls don't feel they need to be treated like a princess, and enjoy "boyish" activities. I treat people according to the likes and dislikes they have set out for me, and try to not do things they won't like. Their sex has no real bearing on this.
And no, I am not forcing my opinion on you. All I have been doing in this entire conversation is giving you advice, and whether or not you choose to take it is up to you. The reason I'm responding to you is because you keep responding to me. If you don't think my advice is satisfactory, you don't have to respond.
And if you find "just be strong" to be offensive, then you are proving my point when I say you are way too over-sensitive. You may have a huge problem with a phrase such as "you're good, for a girl", and may want the whole world, or at least the whole Smash community, to adapt to something that bothers you, but to expect that is childish. There is nothing illegal or EXTREMELY wrong with people saying "you're good, for a girl". You cannot prove that these men who say this are black hearted or despicable based on the fact they say that. But with issues like **** and sexual harassment, those are illegal, and disgusting acts, I'm sure everyone can agree. Hence, people are willing to fight them, regardless of how often they happen. With your problem, people cannot be expected to adapt, as it is small and while it's a bit distasteful at best, it's not a crime. Which is why you should learn to shrug it off. If you have to, just come up with a witty retort whenever people say it.
