n00b: Roy is the best, Marth sucks!!!!
me: actually Marth is better (goes into long explanation)
n00b: Roy is best, you'll see when I beat you 1 on 1
me: ok, we'll go to final destination, no items, 4 lives each
n00b: no, you're trying to set up the rules so you get an advantage, 10 lives, items on, random stage
the random stage turns out to be yoshi's story past stage, at the end he is around 130% damage with one life (I hadn't killed him yet because he learned to avoid my spike and got lucky with clouds). I have 9 lives, and having just died, am at 0% damage, and have used no items so far.
me: see, Marth is better
n00b: you will be defeated by the awesome might of Roy's B, because its the best move in the game
he starts charging his B, and a motion sensor bomb appears in front of me, so I pick it up and throw it in front of him, so it will kill him when he attacks.
n00b: ****!!!! ****!!!!! ****!!!!! BOOOOOOM!!!
Anouncer: GAME!! and the winner is.... MARTH
n00b: Just because you are better than me, it doesn't mean that you are right about Marth being better than Roy. You killed me so cheaply with those slidey moves (wavedashing and roll, he couldn't tell the difference) and your cheap smash, grab, and aerial attacks, oh yeah and it was cheap when I got the hammer and you countered and I died because I couldn't jump back on. I bet you would have done even better if you would have picked Roy, Marth is so weak, it takes you twice as many hits to kill me than Roy would have taken, Marth is so slightly faster than marth that it doesn't make any difference, Roy's sword is so much longer than Marth's, you only like Marth for his sissy hair, and you want to show off by being good with a bad character, bla bla bla bla bla.......
me: ....(walk away a little less confident in human intelligence)
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