What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about Smash?

[F8AL]

Noob : "I could own you at a 4 stock match"
Me: "ok lets play"

I face him then i 4 stock him.

Me: "owned, much?"
Noob : "you cheated because that wasnt my top character"

 

[CDorrian]

Best thing A noob said in terms of noobiness:

"Was that legal?" Quoted after I caught hm in a wall-drill with my nooby Fox. (No, my skills are nooby.He just got trapped, so SHD-airL-cancel, repeat)

It happened but a few minutes ago.

 

[rokimomi]

snub "You act like samu's double missles are so hard"

me "It just took me a while to learn and get the timing down"

snub "ALL YOU DO IS LAND SHOOT A MISSLE WHILE LANDING AND SHOOT ANOTHER"

me "Im surprized you thought that took skill"

(goes and watches real double missle)

snub "still looks easy"

you can fill in the blanks here. He will come tomorrow and be all like, WTF, thats not possible!!!

 

[Nephiros]

"I bet you don't even know the 42 combinations of Marth and Roy's front-B attack."
"I can beat 3 level 9 Roy. THREE. IT'S THREE ON ONE AND I WIN."
"Oh yea? Well how much trophies do you have?"
"I bet you can't beat Giga Bowser in adventure mode."
And so much more...

All from today, thanks to some noob at school

 

[AS Money]

"its like trying to hit air"

i love local tournys where my sheik has god like speed to them

 

[GaNoNdOrFgUrL]

so me and 3 other dudes were playing 2 VS 2 team match...the two of us are beating down this one guy cause his partner isn't helping he yelps "STOP DOUBLE TEAMING YER BEING CHEAP!"

and im like "...tell ur friend to help you, *******."

 

[Wolf_FTW]

LOLOLOL this just happend i had a couple of friends over and one of my friends say omg your fox i could totally own you im like ok ill 4 stock you. so he chooses fox also. we go to finnal des and the first thing he dose is fox illution right off the edge. That just made me think omg iv got to post this right now

 

[nightcape1]

"Smash is just a button masher!" This was right before i faced him: he sd'd twice and then I owned him with ice climber infinites. He only got 12% on me.

Another good one was, "DUUUUUUUDE! Yoshi, is, like, the best freakin character in the game, man!" This douche bag thought Yoshi's "egg roll" was god of god's. I ***** the **** out of him with my Falco: shl to infinite to edgeguard/dair spike. I hate cocky/no-it-all n00bs.

 

[SPAWN]

"Sheik has like the worst aerial game."

 

[halfDemon]

A youtube n00b talking about a match between Ken and Bombsoldier:
"I think I can take them on, I can't say I'm sure but judging how they fight I can beat them both. Of course I wouldnt be surprised if I lost. But right now I have no one to fight against apart from 2 or 3 level 9 CPUs, my bro wants to be able to fight like me but he has a lot to learn. I'm surprised that no one seems to be using shiek too often. Marth is the best in my opinon but shiek is great as well. Not a big falco fan, I used to be long ago though. BTW what is SHFFL?"
Funniest quote ever.
Link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=D9mZgPsPBvc

 

[mcc]

"halo pwns ssbm"

haha those idiots. they don't know what they're missing

 

[1048576]

My friend was getting really pissed off at my Fox. He usually mains Dr. Mario and he usually wins, but he wanted to try someone more top tier, so he was using sheik.

"Fox is so ******* cheap, you can do three moves and hit me before I can even do one"
Me: "Maybe you're just not used to sheik, so I'm playing faster than you"
"No, sheik has so much lag on her moves; I don't know what those ******* are talking about"

Not too nooby, but he's usually really good.
Oh, by the way, after losing to his Doc with my Fox, I two stocked his Dr. Mario with my Bowser. That was funny.

 

[Ismael]

*I wavedash* "stop doing that dumb dash thing, that's cheating!"

*I'm pwning him* "Stop hitting me! Let me get up!"

 

[Deleted member]

<Zhao-Xhu> pc muffnihead u are range in gay in of a can

 

[mcc]

lol does that make sense to anyone?

 

[The_Corax_King]

this has come to be my favorite thread.

 

[Psychoace]

"You may be able to beat me in smash but i'm better at karate..."

*I then proceed to punch him in the face.*

 

[Samael_78]

"how do you roll using L and R?"
i wish i was kidding about this

 

[Mychal]

"I don't see what people like about this game! It's so unrealistic!"

 

[CDorrian]

Heh... Just happened to be messing around earlier on FD with fox. I was shining my mate across the stage, and he asked

"How do ya shine so fast? It takes ages to get out of shines!" He obviously didn't know about JC shining.

Also, I got a single KO from Firefoxing repetedly. He said "HOW THE HELL? Thats a recovery move!" Heh... a Nooby move, but still effective on noobs.

 

[Red Exodus]

Well, I don't really have any stories, but hearing you guys talk about WDing, DIing and Drill Shining and whatnot made me take a good look at how good I am as a smash player.

Oh writing this made me think of my story here goes.

*I normally play as fox but this guy saw me win like 5 matches back to back so he picked fox too here is our match in a free for all*

Me: Are you gonna keep spamming that laser all day?
Guy: Yea, I'm winning fox owns!
Me: Are you sure about that? *I jump and fire fox into him, then I juggle him until he dies*
guy: Hey that's cheating
Me: Really? How so?
Guy: You won't stop moving, it's not fair if you keep moving!

Lol

 

[mcc]

"how do you roll using L and R?"
i wish i was kidding about this

lolllll

 

[Holy Ji]

Here's a good one: I was playing my friend as G&W, who I don't usually use, but I was bored, but I used side+b and was lucky enough to get a 9, which instantly KO'd him. Then he says "What? No fair, G&W has a built-in home run bat?"

 

[Ensee]

^^ LMAO, wowwwwww that made me laugh.

 

[ShadowSquall]

Here's a good one: I was playing my friend as G&W, who I don't usually use, but I was bored, but I used side+b and was lucky enough to get a 9, which instantly KO'd him. Then he says "What? No fair, G&W has a built-in home run bat?"

Like most responses in this thread, the statements go from funny to... just plain sad

 

[gtfo]

"wavedashing is a glitch and should be banned"
-Some guy at a local tourney.

 

[GaNoNdOrFgUrL]

i was Jigglypuff, and three dudes were triple teaming me...so i did her Rest attack..and killed all three at once

Guy: WTF!!! YOU CHEATED!
Me: Ummm..no..i used skill.
Other guy: How did u do that?
Me:....get out. leave.
The third guy: That B-Down doesn't do anything! Why did we die?
Me: ........

 

[tappy]

"how do you roll using L and R?"
i wish i was kidding about this

that's the best one i've read!!!

 

[Blackreighn_zero]

"why you kill me?your a homo for killing me"

 

[Kuriko]

":0...Did not no IC could even wavedash..."
I love the intelligence of YouTube comments.

 

[F8AL]

"WHY DIDN'T SHE JUMP? JUMP YOU ***** *****!"
"Is there something wrong with your controller Joey? "
"Shut up Tim!"

 

[rokimomi]

When I saw the fox movement tricks vid I thought fox was the only one who could do that crap...including wavedash.

 

[Wolf_FTW]

me-lol your getting owned
friend- well its not my fault i dont have the game and you play it like 6 hours a day
me- dude i only play it when you come over...
friends-W/E it still dosent change the fact that you own the game

I have a party at my house

friend#1-dude we should lan ssbm
me-dude that would be messed up and you cant lan ssbm
friend#2-(says this dering a little turny) WTF i cant win cause you just cruel dash me and get like 342587234587% on me. that move isnt even skillfull its like a glitch.
friend#3-(picks falco...i go harder on falco cause i dont like him) dude why do you always go harder on me.
me- hmm lets see here i only told you like a million times i dont like falco.
friend#4-What how did u do that i didnt know you could go through the platforms.(we where playing at fountain of dreams.)
me-man i have alot of noobs for friends...

 

[GaNoNdOrFgUrL]

I played against the most obnoxious kid in my grade

Him: Im gonna beat u Dana.
Me: ...k. *picks Pichu*
Him: PICHU IS SO G@Y!!
Me: How could Pichu possibly be g@y if its a neutral character? -_- It's not "homosexual" so shut ur d@mn mouth and lets play
Him: Pichu is so weak. anyone can beat him

*killed him with all 5 of my lives*

Me: So...you still think Pichu "sucks"? ^.^

 

[CQue tHe Sunn]

the dumbest thing i've heard?
hmm... probably from this ugly noob that plays very rarely with our group cuz he blows.
I was link, he was marth.
Him: Link is soooo cheap!
Me: How?
Him: because he has projectiles!!
Me: "...."(shakes head) youre an idiot
Him: Nuh uh! He's so cheap all you do is throw bombs and the boomerang all over and confuse me and just kill me with your sword! and it reaches so far!
Me: you just suck kid. Cody can get around a lot of my projectiles and my sword doesnt take priority on him all the time, and cody's not even that good! (that makes him look terrible
Him: whatever. you just know everything you know-it-all
Me: are you serious!?!? X and David know more than me! They friggin study smash! I just play for fun and im good cuz im not a tardass and i learn from them. this game is a lot of common sense bro. i guess you just lack it and thats why youre losing a lot.
(he's speechless)

I've also heard this kid say falco is cheap cuz his lasers stop you. also same for doc's pills.
basically, projectiles are cheap. lawl NOOB

 

[freeman123]

My friend told me that if you're good with one character, you're good with all of them, because all of their moves are done the same way.

 

[The_Corax_King]

I was getting mad at my friend in a 4 player melee cause he was spammin missiles, and running away from the fight. I called him a wimp or something like that, and this noob behind me says "its an effective strategy" Strategy my ***. this same kid thinks falcos dtilt is his best move.

 

[bbb]

"Marth's Forward smash is the best move in the game, cuz it's an Up smash, Down smash and Forward smash all in one."

Needless to say I was so stunned that he got a stock off me, lol.

 

[Miharu]

I'm playing a Falco ditto with some noob. So another noob walks up and says this:

"I can do all the stuff that guy's doing, easily. I just don't use them (advanced techs) at all. I can probably beat him."

So I turn around, look at him in the eye, and tell him to play me. He runs away. **** freshmen these days. No balls to even attempt to back up their absurd claims.

 

[§Maverick§]

I was playing with a friend of mine in FD, i was the IC's and he was falcon, then one n00b friend enters the room :

Him: " Waaahahaha!!! THE ICE CLIMBERS SUCK!!! I COULD BEAT YOU WITH MY EYES CLOSED!!!"
Me: "You sure? how'bout a money match? 5 bucks."
Him: "YOU'RE ON B****!!!!" *puts five on the table*
Me: "I'll give you a handicap...if you take one life away from me, you win." *pics IC's*
Him: "O_O!!!!!!" *pics link*

**MATCH**
Him: "WTF!!! STOP GRABBING ME YOU NOOB!!!"
"It's that the only thing you can do?!"
"OMG!! let me hit you!!!! O_o!!!"
"WHY DID YOU GRAB THE LEDGE?! YOU CHEATER!!!"

I 5 stocked the n00b in a very Ice Climberiish way.

Him: " O_O "
Me: "How'bout another? i pic the capt. this time, same rules."
Him: " CAPT. FALCON!!! LOL!! HE'S THE WORST IN THE GAME!!! " *puts 5 more on the table*
**pics link again**
Me: "........(wii fund: +10)....... heh."

**MATCH**
READY.....GO!!
Me: *grab, d-trow ,up-smash, n-air, up-air, knee.....KNEEEE!!!*
Him: "OMFG!!!! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!!
Me: "............(wii fund +10).....^_^ "
Him: " Stop running around so i can hit you!!!"
Me: ".....ok" *stops*
Him: "*runs like a m***n * HIIIIAAAAA!!!"
Me: "*shield grab, up-trow, u-air, u-air, u-air, n-air, knee....knee....D-AIR!!!!"
Him: " WHAT THA H*LL WUS THAT!!! THE CAPT. CAN SPIKE?!!"
Me: "yeah....(wii fund +10) ^_^ "

LOL, i love this game.