What It Means to be a TRUE Melee Player and what NO JOHNS has done for my life

[Max?]

"Some people who take a traditional route will end up marrying the first girl they see, having kids, get a 50-80K a year job and spend the next 30 years paying off their debts. They'll look happy from the outside, and maybe they will be. But only kinda happy. An ignorant kind of happy, the kind of happy that is only happy because they are forced to be satisfied with what came their way."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhp96VWLEqA&feature=player_detailpage#t=320s

I love you

 

[Myztek]

Fantastic post, man. It really does resonate with me on a lot of levels. You got my cogs spinning.

 

[da K.I.D.]

M2K is a little baby.

He needs to stop being so problem oriented and start being more solution oriented.

I agree whole heartedly, and it really just boils down to my interpretation of his post above.

 

[Divinokage]

Wow I read the whole thing and I feel PUMPED. I've been johning a lot about how I don't have a car or job, how I'm still in high school and can't get to people's houses to play melee cause they live pretty far away from me but now I really feel like I need to start trying harder to figure this out, thank you Jesiah

During those times I would still travel 3 hours every 2nd day to play people so that I can improve to the pro level. Where there's a will, there's a way.

 

[huMps]

Must have missed this in my initial speed read.

"Some people who take a traditional route will end up marrying the first girl they see, having kids, get a 50-80K a year job and spend the next 30 years paying off their debts. They'll look happy from the outside, and maybe they will be. But only kinda happy. An ignorant kind of happy, the kind of happy that is only happy because they are forced to be satisfied with what came their way."

Or maybe this is the life they chose and enjoy it. While making less than that but not having any real substantial debt to speak of (: And maybe they love there wife and kids more than they would love another 20k a year or would have loved getting all kinds of weird *** in their college years.

You had to know this would kind of offend me when you wrote it lol. I doubt it was aimed at me, but we both know it kinda fits my situation.

 

[rawrimamonster]

Read this whole thing, it reaaaaaaaaaally makes me miss playing with people in smashfests. Being with the community and having that just...feeling of being around your melee brethren is what its all about, i miss it so god damn much. It makes me hate myself more for being jobless and unable to go train with people, especially because my friends were all ragequitters who refuse to play smash anymore. I never got a chance to play the community when I was at my best either because its always so long inbetween that I got to play good people. I feel like a scrub admitting this but its the truth, no johns at all.

 

[JesiahTEG]

Bobby- lol, you nailed it. It wasn't aimed at you but yeah actually it does fit your situation, but we both know that A.) Your life is awesome right now, it's only going to get better when your wife finishes school, you're probably the hardest working 22 year old I know, you already have a house, 2 cars, you eat healthy as hell...like, technically that situation does apply to you I guess now that I think about it/realize it, but you're so far away from the "type of person" that I'm talking about in that sentence that it's literally ridiculous for me to ever think of you like that. lol dude I'm always the one asking you for life advice, it wouldn't make sense if I was talking about you in that line :-P

 

[Deleted member]

Must have missed this in my initial speed read.

"Some people who take a traditional route will end up marrying the first girl they see, having kids, get a 50-80K a year job and spend the next 30 years paying off their debts. They'll look happy from the outside, and maybe they will be. But only kinda happy. An ignorant kind of happy, the kind of happy that is only happy because they are forced to be satisfied with what came their way."

Or maybe this is the life they chose and enjoy it. While making less than that but not having any real substantial debt to speak of (: And maybe they love there wife and kids more than they would love another 20k a year or would have loved getting all kinds of weird *** in their college years.

You had to know this would kind of offend me when you wrote it lol. I doubt it was aimed at me, but we both know it kinda fits my situation.

I understand where jesse is coming from on this one. Most guys will meet their future wives at college or work, and they'll end up marrying 1 out of 10 or maybe 20 women that they could have potentially given their situations. I'd rather meet a ton of people and marry 1 out of 800 or maybe 1000 women. It's not about how happy you are right now, instead it's an investment in yourself, knowing in full that you have exactly what you're looking for in a partner, and how much happier you would be relative to the first alternative. Can you meet that "right girl" in the first 10? Of course you can, but mathematically speaking, you're not likely to. The more women you have in your potential pool, the better it is for you. Jesse doesn't want to be the guy that settles for some lesser happiness. And I don't either.

Almost every guy "settles" at some point for one reason or another. Most guys do it for women, but jobs and other life decisions apply too. They get to some point and say "this is the best I think I can do" without really pushing their limit or leaning into their potential. You can be happy here, but it's an ignorant kind of happy. You don't really know what you could have because you didn't push yourself to your limit.

 

[nube]

@Umbreon: Troll?

Or do you really believe what you said? Are you speaking from experience, having been with hundreds of women and having married one of them?

Or, may I suggest, are you the one speaking out of ignorance?

Almost every guy "settles" at some point

So being with 20 different women just isn't enough. Alright, say I've already messed with 800 girls' lives. By now I should have found the perfect girl, amirite? Nope, who's to say I can't find an even better girl ("better" by whatever ill-conceived notions you have of ranking women)?

How much is enough? 20? 800? 2000? I would dare say that a man who has only ever been with 1 woman and loves her would be more satisfied than a player who constantly jumps from girl to girl without finding contentment in any of them (since the thought: "I can do even better" is always at the back of his mind).

"this is the best I think I can do"

There's your problem: applying consumer mentality to women/relationships. Women aren't objects to be gained.

 

[Deleted member]

There's your problem: applying consumer mentality to women/relationships. Women aren't objects to be gained.

Why not? If you're not fairly evaluating your gains from a potential mate, why are you even going for a specific person? You want to spend the rest of your life with one person, and then you make this person exempt from a utility curve? Women are DEFINITELY objects to be gained, and you are an object to be gained by that other person as well.

I didn't suggest that you fornicate with every potential mate that you encounter, but that's not as important IMO. I'm much more curious as to why you think consumer mentality can be disregarded for what may be its most weighted application.

 

[Battlecow]

As I understand it, the societal norm is to develop an inexplicable bond ("love") with a woman before committing to her, rather than evaluating her piecemeal and comparing the results to as many other women as possible. My (somewhat limited) experience with successful vs. unsuccessful couples tends to support the idea that relationships predicated on the additive value of each other's good qualities will be, on the whole, less likely to last a lifetime than ones predicated on some form of holistic "x" factor. That said, common sense dictates that it's best to fall in love with a woman whom you admire, share passions with, etc.

 

[huMps]

Jesse - That's what I figured. 22 was two years ago though

Umbreon - I understand looking for the best you can get. In fact that's what I did. I just tried to avoid as much pointless dating as possible. I only actually ever dated a couple girls. All of whom I believed may be the one I spend the rest of my life with. I did alot of pre dating analysis on my *****es lol. I didn't want to be wasting my time.

Also if you ever do find the a woman who you love, don't go thinking " hmmm I wonder if I could stilllll do better" because that's just stupid and will definitely bite you in the ***. Consumer mentality isn't a bad mentality to have when looking for a woman. But once you're with someone it should change. Because trust me if you're living with a woman that you don't love, you won't just go on thinking "well this isn't bad". You will end up hating her lol. Sucks you can't make jesse's tourney. I'd like to talk to you in person.

 

[da K.I.D.]

when Umbreon talks about number of women, I my mind I saw it as number of women that you met in your life. not number of women youve slept with or dated.

nube sounds like he had a bit of a disconnect on that bit.

 

[Deleted member]

you guys pretty much have the right idea. anyway that's my interpretation of it and me and jesse are on the same page. i don't want to speak for him directly but that's probably what he was going for. just as long as the "ignorant sort of happy" doesn't apply to you.

 

[Big_R]

Good post. It's good to have a sense of control over yourself because it's easy to feel behind. I felt behind my whole life until a few years ago. I'm finally changing those habits into more positive things.. Once you start building it's a great thing.

This made me realize how i've learned things and applied them to smash when at times I had nothing else to apply those lessons to. I never thought about it but now I'm sure I've learned things thru smash that I've applied to other parts of my life. Hell of a hobby

 

[Manondorf]

I understand where jesse is coming from on this one. Most guys will meet their future wives at college or work, and they'll end up marrying 1 out of 10 or maybe 20 women that they could have potentially given their situations. I'd rather meet a ton of people and marry 1 out of 800 or maybe 1000 women. It's not about how happy you are right now, instead it's an investment in yourself, knowing in full that you have exactly what you're looking for in a partner, and how much happier you would be relative to the first alternative. Can you meet that "right girl" in the first 10? Of course you can, but mathematically speaking, you're not likely to. The more women you have in your potential pool, the better it is for you. Jesse doesn't want to be the guy that settles for some lesser happiness. And I don't either.

Almost every guy "settles" at some point for one reason or another. Most guys do it for women, but jobs and other life decisions apply too. They get to some point and say "this is the best I think I can do" without really pushing their limit or leaning into their potential. You can be happy here, but it's an ignorant kind of happy. You don't really know what you could have because you didn't push yourself to your limit.

I find it rather amusing that you have reduced the concept of finding and falling in love with a partner to some kind of mathematical probability. Loving a person has nothing to do with probability at all. My opinion is that this kind of thinking is dangerous because it tends to lead people to enter into things with preconceived notions, which cloud judgement, and keep one from having an open mind.

I believe that anyone who tells you your happiness is "less than satisfactory" or, "an ignorant happiness" should stfu. Does anyone really believe it's reasonable to go about telling people who profess to be happy individuals that their happiness only comes out of ignorance? It is a rude and absurd thing to say. I would have to say that, quite possibly, people who would do the aforementioned are merely jealous of the happiness they see others around them enjoying.

 

[Deleted member]

I find it rather amusing that you have reduced the concept of finding and falling in love with a partner to some kind of mathematical probability. Loving a person has nothing to do with probability at all. My opinion is that this kind of thinking is dangerous because it tends to lead people to enter into things with preconceived notions, which cloud judgement, and keep one from having an open mind.

I believe that anyone who tells you your happiness is "less than satisfactory" or, "an ignorant happiness" should stfu. Does anyone really believe it's reasonable to go about telling people who profess to be happy individuals that their happiness only comes out of ignorance? It is a rude and absurd thing to say. I would have to say that, quite possibly, people who would do the aforementioned are merely jealous of the happiness they see others around them enjoying.

You tell me to have an open mind immediately after you disregard my idea?

I said only that you should just choose a partner of best fit and a relatively decent way of doing so. If you haven't even considered the context behind the statement and you're choosing to be stupid, well that's sad but I don't see how you made the vast leap in logic to get to your final sentence about jealousy.

Your blatant self-sabotage of intellect is a bigger nuisance to me and society at large than any amount of rudeness.

You're welcome to refute me with some rationale rather than your narrow perspective and personal attacks.

All kinds of thinking are dangerous.

edit:

Actually, this kinda applies to smash too. So many players think that they are going about things some way as if it is the best, yields the best results, etc. Like it or not, there is definitely some best method to accomplish your goals, whatever they may be. If you don't know the best method of maximizing your gains, it would benefit you to try to find it.

That said, some methods of improvement are definitely better than others concerning smash. To choose an alternative in the face of opposing evidence is, well, ignorant.

 

[Battlecow]

I find your logic to be narrow-minded and put forth from a position of ignorance, umbreon. Your assumption that ONE partner is the optimal number offends me. Everyone knows bigamous relationships are optimal.

 

[JesiahTEG]

Wow, it's so funny haha...I had a feeling that certain parts of this article would spark some controversy/discussion...all good though.

Honestly I could talk for so long on the topic of girls. Not saying I'm some kind of master pimp, cuz I'm not, but women is definitely a topic that I feel comfortable enough with my own experiences/knowledge talking about, however, it's a really really touchy topic.

Human emotions are strong, very very very strong, and when it comes to girls/women, it's a topic most people either don't want to hear about, or can't handle speaking truthfully about.

That being said, it's SO FUNNY that the topic of women is almost kind of taboo, when it's SUCH A BASIC THING. Like, if there's 3 things in life you should have a grasp on by the time you're like 30, it should be women, health and money imo, and these are all things that people hate talking about.

I got a couple requests via PM/Texts to share my thoughts/advice on girls in this thread, but I'm kind of hesitant to. Not because I care, because if it were up to me I'd just say what I feel is honest and right despite what it means in terms of my image or what people think of me. Could honestly care less.

But I do respect every viewer of this thread and I don't want to piss a lot of people off if that's what's going to happen.

But if enough people want to hear what I think, and we can agree to talk about it without kindergarten insults being flung back and forth, then I'm down. Lemme know

 

[Divinokage]

I'd love to hear your ideas, I think it's very important to let go of personal preference a lot of the times to bring yourself closer to the truth. Kinda like trying to see things in a 3rd person's perspective. I think it's really the only way to fix all of our problems that we have because most of the time it's about your mind. For example, when you are trying to jump over a fence, even if you have the skills required to do it sometimes you'll just convince yourself that you'll break your neck if you try. But in reality all you gotta do is focus your whole body and just jump over. A lot of times our mind holds us back too much.

Umbreon, but I mean we still have to find our own ways of how to improve the best because everyone's brains are different, the thought process is completely different. Though I could agree when you reach a high level it seems like there's only a few ways to go about it.. I mean if you want to reach that level.

 

[wangsterbaiter]

*slow clap*

very inspirational. I learned a lot.

 

[da K.I.D.]

I got a couple requests via PM/Texts to share my thoughts/advice on girls in this thread, but I'm kind of hesitant to. Not because I care, because if it were up to me I'd just say what I feel is honest and right despite what it means in terms of my image or what people think of me. Could honestly care less.

Id rather talk about the concept of what we should take and how and how much we should be affected by other people.

you spent hours explaining how the no johns concept changed you internally.

How did it change you externally? in terms of how you relate to and deal with people? I ask because apparently, nowadays idgaf what people think is like, the thing that the cool kids all do now. And anybody over the age of 16 should understand that that concept is moronic and completely not feasible.

 

[KevinM]

Hahahahahahahahaha, and body me he did. That win definitely goes to you guys, that's for sure. Maybe we can make that like a spinoff post or something :-P

EDIT: Hey to be fair though, one time you were **** talking me at ROM against one of your dudes and once I heard you say "Quest to Become the Best" my ***, I made an untouched 3 stock comeback, without chaingrabbing while he was cg'ing me the entire match.

Can that count for like, at least half redemption for the mafia thing? Like, I don't expect to ever fully redeem myself from that, but can I get at least half? :-P

Oh and also, not that I'm proud of this, but I trash talked your whole region, in fact I didn't even know who he was before that tourney hahahaha. Does he still play btw?

Yoo that comeback was hella funny

Yeah he still plays he goes by Diesel

and yeah I guess half redemption will work

 

[jngshin]

No JOHNS is indeed a great philosophy for life.
Everyone likes to think of themselves as higher than others, and everyone else as lower than themselves.
To prove yourself to others, you must work 10x as hard as them.
Glad you realized this, as it will make you and anyone else who follows it, successful.
All you guys should try getting your bodies in gear. I'm talking 10-15% bodyfat with 280+ deadlift, 225+ squat, 185+ bench (pretty average for a lifter actually).
It's one of the biggest obstacles/greatest accomplishments life can offer you.

As for girls, one key point.
A girl being mad at you, crying over you, etc. is RARELY a bad thing.
To you, it's "omg she's feeling negative emotion this is bad."
But to her, extreme emotions is like crack cocaine, and girls flock to guys who can give it to them (whether its positive OR negative) like crackheads to crack.

 

[PKNintendo]

Holy ****.

That was an amazing and inspirational OP. JesiahTEG, I await the day where you become the King of melee.

 

[Big_R]

I mean there's a line where you have to be rational choosing a partner and there's the irrational connection that is love. You don't want to stray too far either way for something to last forever. Or you can but you have to be able to ride those peaks and valleys and balance things out in the end.

 

[PKSTkimo]

Amazing words, I'm pretty sure you already know that though. Your message just reach Venezuela by the way. A really small melee community wich barely survive, we are just like 30 people, but still play like the day this game came out. Peace men.

 

[TheRaven]

johns are for scrubs.
excusers are losers.
amen. well written post, Jesiah

 

[Bing]

...Poor choice of words^^^^^^^^^^^