Activision-Blizzard: "ah, hello Sakurai! I take it you're scouting for potential Smash character ideas?"
Sakurai:
nods
Activision-Blizzard: "omgomgomgyay. wait here i'll show you some of our highlights."
bolts out the room; bolts back in with a bunch of figurines "This is Diablo from the Diablo series; he's one of our oldest and most-well-known characters to hardcore american gamers. We don't ship the game without his mug on the box. And he'd pair nicely with the whole Villain motif Smash Ultimate has going on! I mean, with Diablo 4's coming out at some point, his inclusion might make for good brand synergy..."
Sakurai: "eh..."
Activision-Blizzard: "No? too scary-looking? fair enough, moving on... Ah, Overwatch! of course! There's plenty of beloved kid-friendly characters from this, but we personally recommend the mascot, Tracer! She's got a cute british accent, old enough to be sexualized by the adult smash bros fans without giving the boys down at the FBI a migraine. Plus, she's even canonically a lesbian, which I hear is a demographic that'd take quite nicely to the Super Smash Bros portfolio!"
Tracer: "Cheers, luv! The cavalry's 'ere! ^w^"
Sakurai: "Yeah, Tracer could be a good pi--"
Mei, collecting dust out of the corner of the room, weakly:
"f-free hong kong"
Sakurai: "HOLY **** WHAT IS THAT?

"
rushes over to check out Mei
Activision-Blizzard, internally panicking:
oh no, not this again!
Activision-Blizzard: "oh, th-that? that's n-nobody important, I assure you. just a m-minor character; probably not even recognizable to the average smash player--"
Sakurai, brushing the dust off of Mei: "There's not a lot of Ice-based attacks in Super Smash Brothers; only Ice Climbers specialize in this element! Is this scientist woman LGBT+ as well?"
Activision-Blizzard: "W-Well we haven't c-confirmed or deconfirmed a-anything, b-but fans sometimes headcanon her as--"
Mei, enthusiastically chirping with renewed strength but fumbling her words a bit: "Fried Honk Honk! ^w^"
Activision-Blizzard:
deathglares at Mei from behind Sakurai's shoulder
Sakurai, : "'aven't the foggiest what that's from. That a Fortnite reference?"
Mei:
mAkEs A fRoZeN ReFeReNcE
Sakurai: "A meme-spouting ice-shooting ecoscientist! I'll take your entire stock!"
holds up a comically-large bucket full of money
Activision-Blizzard:
resigned sigh "fine..." (we're gonna get an earful from Xi about this, aren't we?)
Tracer, whispering smugly in Acti-Blizz's ear: "lmao be grateful that Sakurai didn't ask you bootlickers about the Warcraft department"
Smash-cut to a sealed metal vault door plastered with Long-time nuclear waste warning messages. Elephant's Foot can be seen oozing out of large cracks in the metal doorway. A small, singular wooden office door plaque saying "World of Warcraft development department" identifies the contents of the vault, with "PERMANENTLY CONDEMNED FOR 40,000 YEARS BY UNANIMOUS DECREE OF THE UNITED NATIONS" stamped onto the plaque in blood red ink.