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Social THE Social Thread 2.0

What Do YOU Plan to do After Smash Speculation is Over?


  • Total voters
    126

Hadokeyblade

Smash Hero
Joined
Dec 5, 2018
Messages
6,640
i know I'm late to the whole "meme bsf" debate but In the context of Sonic. I agree. Memes ruined That series.

Searching through the Switch eShop in Japanese is indeed a hurdle.

But mark my words: I WILL find a Japan only Switch game to buy.
Whispers
Super robot Taisen.
 
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Michael the Spikester

Smash Obsessed
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
23,144
Location
Canada
Switch FC
SW-0818-8347-0203
What do you guys think would happen if beginning on January 1st, 2022 that all of sudden the world awoke to find themselves and everything including earth itself became animated similar to LeBron James? On top of that everyone gaining the power of toon force.
 

Noipoi

Howdy!
Joined
Jun 19, 2018
Messages
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Joisey
Switch FC
SW: 7210-0785-3330
Oh, crazy thay Space Jam is out but nobody bothered to ask: who's your favorite Looney Tune?

I gotta give my vote to Porky.
I’m a Daffy guy. I like self absorbed characters desperate to hog the spotlight. They amuse me.

I also like Lola specifically from the 2011 Looney Tunes show.


What do you guys think would happen if beginning on January 1st, 2022 that all of sudden the world awoke to find themselves and everything including earth itself became animated similar to LeBron James? On top of that everyone gaining the power of toon force.
Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk do not need toon force.

I dunno how they’d use it, but it wouldn’t be good.
 

TMNTSSB4

Smash Obsessed
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John Cena
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No More
3DS FC
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SW-6414-0526-7609

this seems quite important
No offense, but like

Who goes and watches Space Jam and takes it seriously

It's Space Jam

Being dumb is kind of the point
Space Jam is one of the most cinematic movie franchises of all time…of course Imma take that **** seriously
 

AndreaAC

Ridley's Propaganda Artist
Joined
Feb 9, 2014
Messages
24,448
👋👋👋👋 Hello hello, just gonna pop in this time.... NonSpecificGuy NonSpecificGuy TheIrepan8 TheIrepan8

So apparently someone else is also leaving Ubisoft:

"A few minutes ago, Assassin's Creed art director Raphael Lacoste announced his departure from Ubisoft. He was the artistic director of the first Assassin’s Creed and his work can be seen in games such as Assassin’s Creed Black Flag, Assassin’s Creed Origins, and Assassin’s Creed Valhalla. The whole #ACLatam team wishes you the best in the next projects you have. Ubisoft Latam Assassin's Creed # UbisoftLatam"
4.png


o-o Really, I think this is gonna keep going downhill. Though it might be a sign that they should let the series rest.

Wishing him the very best. My respect to all the artists from the games, they're amazing.
 

Noipoi

Howdy!
Joined
Jun 19, 2018
Messages
35,400
Location
Joisey
Switch FC
SW: 7210-0785-3330
👋👋👋👋 Hello hello, just gonna pop in this time.... NonSpecificGuy NonSpecificGuy TheIrepan8 TheIrepan8

So apparently someone else is also leaving Ubisoft:

"A few minutes ago, Assassin's Creed art director Raphael Lacoste announced his departure from Ubisoft. He was the artistic director of the first Assassin’s Creed and his work can be seen in games such as Assassin’s Creed Black Flag, Assassin’s Creed Origins, and Assassin’s Creed Valhalla. The whole #ACLatam team wishes you the best in the next projects you have. Ubisoft Latam Assassin's Creed # UbisoftLatam"
View attachment 323668

o-o Really, I think this is gonna keep going downhill. Though it might be a sign that they should let the series rest.

Wishing him the very best. My respect to all the artists from the games, they're amazing.
Hey unrelated to your comment

Do you draw original characters? Like if I asked you to draw a character or two of mine, could you do that?
 
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Pokelego999

Smash Master
Joined
May 27, 2019
Messages
3,651
Location
Waiting for Latias and Latios to get a theme
The Social Thread after the last DLC drops

I dunno why I spent nearly an hour making this, but here I am. Please note everything done here is for comedic effect.
[The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Lamperouge. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a red truck covered in Vtubers screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.]
[Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a Bakugan drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Noipoi and Bakugan hunched over at the wheel.]

[Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. Bakugan's bulk of cards is apparent on the left as compared to Noipoi's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Fuzzy Pokemon plushies adorn the rear view mirror. Bakugan continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.]

[Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Bakugan looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Noipoi. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Bakugan hits the Noipoi without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Noipoi jerks awake.]

Noipoi: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh.

[Noipoi reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Duxx.]

Duxx: Noipoi, it's duxx. Tell me you got the nickelodeon all stars fighting game cretin.

Noipoi: Yeah sure.

Duxx: And nobody saw you?

Noipoi: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody.

Duxx: [Her expression darkens] Noipoi, I'm here right now.

Noipoi: Well that's a funny story...

[The cab's rear door abruptly opens and Shroob steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Noipoi's face. Noipoi throws up his hands, Bakugan is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and Shroob takes over the monitor.]

Shroob: [brightly] Hello, Duxx! We killed everyone and took a nickelodeon all stars fighting game!

[He brandishes a BLU nickelodeon all stars fighting game]

Duxx: Not everybody, Shroob. You left seven weebs, guys.

[A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Duxx turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.]

Duxx: [matter-of-factly] Six.

[The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Poke Snipers and a RED-owned building in the distance. A dead BLU Guh-Huzzah can be seen draped on the roof of the van. As the van drives in, a wooden prop of Amelia Watson with some desert plants pops up and a painted curtain background falls into place, disguising the entrance.]

Duxx: [she continues talking as the camera pans] Look, just keep the nickelodeon all stars fighting game safe okay?

[Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. The rear bumper falls off.]

Duxx: Have a good weekend guys. Looking to Noipoi. Have a bad weekend Noi.

[Front shot of the van pulling into the garage. A BLU Theirepan's boot can be seen sticking out from underneath the hood which has a hood ornament reading "ANIME". Bakugan looks harassed and brings the vehicle to a stop. The dead BLU Guh-Huzzah slides off the roof. The Bakugan leaves the keys in the ignition and exits the van.]

Shroob: [his hand still covering Noipoi's face] Goodbye, Duxx! I'm leaving the van now. (Note: captions read "Mr. Duxx")

[Shroob disappears into the rear of the van and the door slides closed behind him. Cut shot to the Noipoi who looks relieved at the hand being removed from his face. He adjusts his hat and headset with both hands. He looks back at the door.]

Noipoi: Bye bye. Okay then.

[The background music stops and the van grows quiet. The Noipoi turns back to the monitor.]

Noipoi: Hey, hey Duxx! Before you go. Ahh-

Duxx: Uh huh?

[He is dragging a body. Noipoi stammers and scratches his face.]

Duxx: [distracted] Noipoi? What? What the **** do you want?

Noipoi: [regains confidence] You're probably real busy this weekend, right?

Duxx: [finished with dragging body, he stands up and wipes the dirt from his hands] Funny you should mention that. Looks like I will be... burying bodies all weekend. [he grabs a Fire Axe and brings his face closer to the camera] So you don't go to jail you buffoon.

Noipoi: [stammering] Oh g-good. So...we're both busy.

[Cut to Duxx on the monitor. He looks at him quizzically in silence. Noipoi returns the glance awkwardly. Suddenly a siren can be heard in the background with guards shouting. Duxx reacts and turns hurriedly from the camera.]

Duxx: Oh! Gotta go.

[He disappears off-camera. Muffled shots can be heard. The monitor buzzes off. Cut back to Noipoi with a pained expression on his face. Side view of cab with Noipoi leaning back resignedly.]

Noipoi: Lot of people busy with busyness. (Note: caption reads "business")

[Bakugan can be seen in the background, checking the fridge's contents. The MightyP walks slowly, passing front of the camera left to right, cigarette in hand.]

MightyP: [smugly] Still trying to make up with that New Jersey guy again, I see. [snickering]

Noipoi: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] **** you MightyP.

[He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. He looks down, then chuckles sadly to himself. He gets out of the van. Bakugan takes some seeds from the fridge and tosses it over his shoulder to his birds, who are waiting for food.]

[The camera pans slowly with Noipoi walking left to right from the van to the table. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. He tosses the keys in the air and deftly catches them.Shroob attempts to extricate the BLU Guh-Huzah's body from the hood of the van. The RED Theirepan takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. Bakugan manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]

Noipoi: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a Vtuber figure, and an ashtray] Hey, look at all this. What have you two eggheads been workin' on?

[Smashing Ramen and Snake are discussing something, but turn to Noipoi when he addresses them. Noipoi tosses the keys. They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor.]

Noipoi: Nice catch.

[The Snake turns to Smashing Ramen. He turns to address the Noipoi while Smashing Ramen steps back.]

Snake: Yeah. Listen now... We've been running some experiments on the Teleporter.

[Snake gestures with her head to the Teleporter. Shroob wanders over, interested. Bakugan remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]

Snake: Well yeah. Y'all ought to take a look at this.

[The flute continues to trill in the background. Snake picks up her PDA and activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. Shroob stands with his arms akimbo. Suddenly, another figurine appears, silently hovering. Bakugan is somewhat intrigued, but Shroob is utterly amazed, reaching out with both hands to grab the loaf. Noipoi, however, is unimpressed.]

Noipoi: [disinterestedly while the background drum beats a steady tattoo] Wow. You can teleport anime. That is...big news. Um. Is Theirepan back with the beer yet? Cause I...

[He turns back while Smashing Ramen breaks smashes the figure with a sickening crunch. The interior of the figure breaks to reveal a mutated version of the figure, pulsating green lumps and teeth. Snake winces while Noipoi yelps and throws his hands in the air. The background music stops]

Noipoi: Whoa! What the hell is that?!

Smashing Ramen: [cheerily, gesturing slightly with a half of the throbbing loaf] Cancer!

[Cut to Bakugan. He suddenly looks concerned and stops eating his Sandvich. He eyes it worriedly.]

Snake: [adjusting his helmet] Y'all know what this means right?

[Shroob suddenly grabs Noipoi by the neck and slams him onto the table.]

Shroob: Arrghh! We cannot sell anime on the black market anymore!

Noipoi: [choked and strained] Not my fault..!

[He nearly chokes Noipoi and raises a hand as if to punch his face. Bakugan still leans nonchalantly on the fridge door. Snake intervenes raising her hands.]

Snake: Whoa! Whoa... Not exactly, Shroob. [she places her hand on the Shroob's back and smiles] You sell as you like.

[His smile fades and he removes his helmet. Ominous sounding strings start up. Bakugan looks at his Sandvich, sniffs it, shrugs, and continues eating.]

Snake: That goes for all of ya. If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before ya...Well. Died. Now would be a...good time.

[Suddenly, the MightyP's voice is heard. The Snake turns. Cut to the MightyP, languidly brandishing a cigarette from its case]

MightyP: How long before these...mutations and cancer combine to kill us?

Smashing Ramen: Well, let's see. [he gestures, thinking out loud.] We all use the teleporter, let's say six times a day...

[Cut to the rest of the team, Noipoi is still rubbing his sore neck, Shroob stands stoically, Bakugan still leans on the fridge door, Sandvich now half-eaten, and Snake replaces his helmet, backwards as usual. Cut back to Smashing Ramen]

Smashing Ramen: Times four years. Minus...we're not Vtuber. Hmm.

[He turns abruptly. The MightyP is startled]

Smashing Ramen: Three days. Yes.

[The strings rise to a crescendo while the camera dramatically zooms to the Smashing Ramen's face. Deep chimes accent the moment]

Smashing Ramen: We all have three days to live.

[The strings slow then stop. Cut back to the team. Noipoi and Bakugan look worried while Snake looks down at the floor. Shroob, confused, counts off: one, two...]

Theirepan: Whooooooooo!! Woooooo!!

[He appears in a flash from the idle Teleporter. He triumphantly celebrates his arrival with a crate of beer with limes wedged in the necks, his grenades on his vest removed to carry bottles. As his wobbles precariously on the Teleporter as it slows down, we can see that he is also festively clad in a sombrero and novelty Margarita shaped sunglasses while also carrying another beer]

Theirepan: Woo! [he looks around at their faces] What?

[Expiration Date Title Card]

[RED BASE: 70 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to the RED Vtuber building. It is now night and a lone Level 1 Poke Sniper guards the entrance. A march-like drum beat plays]

[Cut to a close-up of a poker table. A cigar smolders in the ashtray while the MightyP unceremoniously drops a metal pail. It is filled with note cards. A literal bucket list.]

MightyP: This is a bucket.

[Cut to a side shot of the mercenaries at the poker table. With Theirepan on the far right in the foreground grasping his bottle, everyone else is arranged counter-clockwise from him: Pokelego, Lamperouge, Bakugan, Noipoi, Shroob, and MightyP on the right foreground. Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. Half-standing, Shroob examines the bucket.]

Shroob: Dear God.

MightyP: There's more.

Shroob: [astonished] No!

MightyP: [ignoring him] It contains the dying wish of every man here. [turns] Noipoi. You did collect everyone's dying wish?

Noipoi: Oh, you bet!

[He salutes.Bakugan slowly folds his arms.]

MightyP: Excellent. Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches.

[Cut to a close-up of the watch. Red embossing tape declares it a "DEATH CLOCK". The display beeps as the various mercenaries set their watches. It reads 70:00:00. 70 hours left to live and counting. Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard.]

[All the mercenaries are expressionless except for Bakugan who is on the verge of falling asleep with his arms folded. The MightyP steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]

MightyP: We have seventy hours to live. For most men, no time at all.

[The camera cuts to a shot of the MightyP walking behind Bakugan's back. A Payload Pinball machine can be seen in the background. The music swells from mournful to patriotic. He places a hand on Bakugan's shoulder, jerking him awake. Bakugan momentarily looks guilty.]

MightyP: We are not most men.

[The MightyP now walks behind the table. The camera pans to a shot showing all the mercenaries gathered around the table intently focusing on his words.]

MightyP: We are mercenaries. We have the resources. The will. To make these hours count! [he gestures emphatically with his lit cigarette while the trumpets and drum beats swell]

MightyP: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Let's begin.

[Reverse shot with the bucket in the foreground. The mercenaries' expressions show varying degrees of interest. The MightyP draws a note card from the bucket.]

MightyP: Our first dying wish is Noipoi's. [he gestures] He's...

[The MightyP examines the card. His brow wrinkles]

MightyP: ...drawn a picture of me getting done by a large creature labeled “Your Mother”.

[The drawing is somewhat crude. The mother is drawn in much greater detail than the MightyP who is shown in great pain.]

MightyP: [he peers closer] I have something radiating off of me.

Noipoi: Yeah, those are stink lines.

[He turns to the rest of the mercenaries in a mock whisper. Shroob is mildly amused.]

Noipoi: That's why the mom hit him. Cause he smells.

MightyP: [rolling his eyes as he draws another card] Yes I see. Here you've drawn me having...

[The camera tastefully remains on his face.]

MightyP: [somewhat bemused] ...sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower. [he tosses it and draws another while Noipoi giggles] The Eiffel Tower having sexual congress with me. [toss and giggle] Both of us relaxing post-coitus.

[Theirepan mouths "post-coitus" and the Noipoi is nearly in tears with laughter.]

MightyP: [growing more irritated] I'm crying and the Eiffel Tower has stink lines coming off of it. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Noipoi put a card into the bucket?!

[Bakugan and Lamperouge are slightly amused. Noipoi is near breathless with laughter.]

Noipoi: [giggling] Oh man, Classic Noipoi.

MightyP: [sighing] Fantastic. This was a huge waste of my time.

Shroob: [pulling out a card] You did not read mine!

MightyP: [another sigh] Does it say you want the bucket?

Shroob: [interrupting] Yes!

[Disgusted, the MightyP slides the bucket over as the rest of the mercenaries get up to leave. Shroob greedily grabs the pail with both hands. The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table as the MightyP pulls his Cigarette Case from his jacket and draws a cigarette.]

MightyP: See you all in hell. [he snaps the case shut]

[The camera switches to the mercenaries walking down a hallway. Shroob stops and examines his new bucket next to a sign pointing to the "LAB". Mid-tempo mysterious music plays with rhythmic drums, piano, and plucked strings. Snake and Smashing Ramen walk by pushing Teleporters and piles of figurines on two carts to the lab. A gawr gura figure falls off of the pile and Shroob gasps and grabs his bucket more tightly. The camera spotlights the figure with ominous bass piano notes. A grin appears on his face as he stares at the fallen figure. The screen cuts to black.]

[MightyP'S SMOKING ROOM: 58 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to rear shot of the MightyP sitting back in his leather arm chair. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. The MightyP swirls his cut crystal glass and takes a drink whilst reading "Dapper Cadavar Monthly" magazine, as the track of the same name plays in the background. Someone knocks on his door.]

MightyP: Go away.

[He flips a page and frowns. Noipoi opens the door and peeks in.]

Noipoi: Hey, ah, you got a second?

MightyP: Oh, Noipoi. Please. Go [bleep] yourself.

Noipoi: [nervously] Yeah. Hey that's, that's funny. Um. Anyway I-

[The MightyP suddenly lunges towards the door, slamming it shut on Noipoi's body. He leans on it trying to force Noipoi out.]

Noipoi: [in pain] Wait! Wait! Wait! Ow. Come on, MightyP.

[The MightyP raises his knife, threateningly]

Noipoi: I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry.

MightyP: [rolls his eyes and gets off the door, light chimes and strings play] Make it quick. [he lights a cigarette]

Noipoi: [straightening himself out] So, I did write down a last wish. [he brings out a card] I'd uh. I'd like to make up...with Duxx.

MightyP: [turns] You? You're terrible with people.

Noipoi: What? No. No. No. MightyP, look at this. And this. And this here. MightyP, look at all of this. [he gestures to different parts of his body and spins around] Heh. No. I'm great with people.

[Scene flashes back to a cheap fast food joint. Noipoi and a blonde haired woman are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]

Noipoi: We both got buckets of chicken. Wanna do it?

Blonde Woman: [shrugs] Eh, okay.

[Scene switches back to MightyP and Noipoi.]

Noipoi: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, MightyP. You are amazing with people. You know, classy ones. The kind that smell good, and can read. And that always have their glasses on just kind of crooked. You know? The ones that don't go for a guy like me.

[MightyP looks at Noipoi with a smug grin.]

MightyP: Hmm, and why is that, do you think?

Noipoi: C'mon, MightyP, I don't know.

MightyP: Well, a mystery we will take to our graves then. Goodbye.

[MightyP walks away to pour a drink. The bar has several bottles of RED wine, glasses, and a console. He selects a rocks glass to pour a hard liquor.]

Noipoi: Wait. Wait. Ah. [sigh] Okay. Look. Fine. MightyP. This never leaves this room [sigh]. You are better than me. All right? I need your help.

[MightyP stops pouring, looks up, and turns towards Noipoi.]

MightyP: I'll do it. On one condition.

[The MightyP pushes a button on the console and a microphone pops up. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. The camera goes from the poker table with Theirepan drinking, Bakugan and Lamperouge facing each other in Magic, and Pokelego playing Pokemon; to the Smashing Ramen and Snake in a lab, with the tumorized figurines; and to Shroob carrying away a giant pile of figures in his arms. All perk up to the sound of feedback on the speakers.]

MightyP: Say that [pushes microphone towards Noipoi] again.

[The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black.]

[TRAINING GYM: 51 HOURS TIL DEATH Camera slowly pans into a nearly empty gymnasium. Noipoi bounces on his feet on the right, looking nervous. MightyP calmly places a wine bottle on a cart and inspects two wine glasses. Behind him is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. He places down a glass. Ominous bass strings play.]

[ Noipoi coughs and the MightyP delicately places the second glass down. He pushes the cart which rolls to a stop in front of the Noipoi. It also holds a bucket of drumsticks, several videogames, a vase, and a box of RED chocolates.]

MightyP: [nonchalantly] Seduce me.

[The Noipoi looks back, confused, and turns forward, arms akimbo.]

Noipoi: You?

MightyP: [pointedly] Seduce me.

Noipoi: What, MightyP? I ain't gonna...

MightyP: SEDUCE ME!.

Noipoi: [taken aback] Right! Right. Okay. [He looks down at the cart. He immediately picks up the bucket of fried chicken and lets out a quick sigh.] Okay... [He walks up to the MightyP.] H-hey there, bud'... I got a bucket of chicken...

MightyP: [He slaps the chicken out of Noipoi's hands.] I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps! I'm a man! I like my friends dangerous... Mysterious... [MightyP takes the dummy into his arms and starts dancing with it briefly before holding it in front of him.] You want to be my friend?! Earn it! Seduce me! [He uses the dummy to slap Noipoi across the face, who looks up at him with a hurt expression in his eyes. MightyP simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing.]

[The camera cuts to a shot of MightyP and Noipoi in a classroom setting. The word DINNER is written on the chalkboard as MightyP says something to Noipoi. Later, Noipoi can be seen sitting at the head of a long banquet table. At the other end, Theirepan and Lamperouge can be seen playing the Piano and Saxophone, respectively. Behind him, Pokelego and MightyP are holding a bottle of wine and a bucket of chicken. Noipoi reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on his face, but MightyP slaps his hand away. The fork flies out of his hand and lands on Theirepan's eye, whose other eye immediately widens.]

[Cut back to MightyP and Noipoi in the classroom, only this time PLAYING SMASH is written on the chalkboard. Back in the previous room, Noipoi can be seen awkwardly trying to play Fox in Melee with energy. He he attempts to combo MightyP, who merely shakes his head with disgust. The MightyP proceeds to show Noipoi the proper way to combo, three stocking Noipoi, who is confused. He attempts to mimic the MightyP's actions, but instead SDs.]

[In the classroom, the word DEMEANOR is now written on the board as the MightyP continues to educate Noipoi, who is busy drawing a picture of MightyP being shot in the head. He hits Noipoi in the face with the pointer, who reels back in pain.]

[Noipoi can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. A can of BONK! is set in front of him. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Noipoi, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. More cans of BONK! can be seen littered around the room, and he is now reading a book titled How to beat someone in Smash Melee. Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which the Noipoi, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it, a more confident expression on his face.]

[Cut to Noipoi back at the banquet table, and he extends his pinkie out as he holds the chicken. Later, he can be seen gently embracing the hand of the dummy as the MightyP watches. Noipoi then can be seen beating MightyP in a game of Melee. Cut to black.]

[TRAINING GYM : 2 HOURS TIL DEATH Floodlights come to life, illuminating Noipoi, who is sitting in a classroom chair in the middle of a wrestling ring. After a brief delay, he raises his hand in front of him to shield his eyes from the bright lights.]

MightyP: Final Question... [Cut to a shot of MightyP, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] You have a dinner meetup for seven at Chick-Fil-A... what time do you arrive? [He walks across the ring, awaiting Noipoi's answer.]

Noipoi: Seven. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. [He makes a gun formation with his right hand. MightyP can be seen walking around Noipoi as the camera rotates around him in the opposite direction.] Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30...

[MightyP looks down at Noipoi, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks...]

MightyP: You're ready.

Noipoi: [hopeful] Really?

MightyP: [chucking softly] No. Everything you just said was insane... and, we are out of time. [He sets a glass of liquid in front of the Noipoi.] Congratulations. You're a failure.

Noipoi: Oh... [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. He sits back down and slides out of his chair. The MightyP rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] I failed, did I?

MightyP: [grinning] Yes.

Noipoi: Did I?

MightyP: Yes...

Noipoi: Did I?

MightyP: [Annoyed] Noipoi, where is this going?

Noipoi: Where it's going is I don't need you. I'll put this show on myself!

MightyP: [An expression of disbelief crosses his face] Yourself...?

Noipoi: That's right, fancy pants, myself! [The MightyP's mouth twitches as he stops himself from laughing] So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways, and- [The MightyP taps his watch, voicelessly reminding Noipoi of the death watch] -Okay, crap, I gotta go... [He quickly downs the rest of his drink and begins to walk off-screen, but leans back towards the MightyP.] Screw you, though... [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of nickelodeon all stars fighting game theft, push button. As he does so, he turns around, casually hits the button with his fist, and points at the MightyP as he walks away. Klaxons start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing.]

[Fade to a shot of the Smashing Ramen's Laboratory.]

[Smashing Ramen'S LAB : 1 HOUR TIL DEATH]

[The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. The camera slowly pans to the left, revealing the Snake and Smashing Ramen with a pair of teleporters set up between them. As the Smashing Ramen inspects the teleporter, Snake calls out to him.]

Snake: Y'all ready?

Smashing Ramen: [Turning to the Snake] Ready!

[Snake picks up a figurine. The tumors are now plainly visible on the outside. He sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards, making a noise of disgust. He places the figure on the teleporter, and it disappears in a flash of light. About a second later, it reappears in front of Smashing Ramen, and begins chittering loudly, squirming in place.]

Smashing Ramen: Ooh!

[The Smashing Ramen leans forward with interest. The figure grows teeth and roars at the Smashing Ramen, who lets out a scream of fear as the Vtuber creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. The Smashing Ramen continues to scream as he grabs onto the Vtuber creature and attempts to pry it off.]

Snake: Aww hell...

[Snake walks off-camera as energetic drums start to play in the background. Cut to a shot of Duxx on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of it. He ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. A look of determination can be seen on his face. He comes to a stop outside a steel plate door and hops off of the scooter, shotgun in hand.]

[RED BASE : 40 MINUTES TIL DEATH]

[As Duxx walks towards the door, the scooter falls onto its side. The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Alexxela falls out of one of the bags. Duxx briefly turns towards the scooter, as if to set it back upright, but instead continues on towards the door. He places his back up against the wall to the left of the door and glances upwards briefly.]

Duxx: [Quickly] You're ready. Alright. [He lets out a deep breath, ***** the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Noipoi's chest, who's waiting for him there.]

Noipoi: [unconvincingly] Duxx. What an unexpected surprise.

Duxx: They took the nickelodeon all stars fighting game ... Don't worry, we can fix this. [He pushes past the Noipoi, who follows him.] We'll get it back, and the Administrator never has to know.

[A security camera tracks their movements as Duxx adjusts his glasses.]

Noipoi: You look... You look... aahhhhhh...

[Close up of the camera, then cut to a shot of Theirepan, Shroob, and MightyP in a room full of monitors, watching the two interact. MightyP is sitting in the chair in front of the monitors while Shroob and Theirepan stand behind him.]

Theirepan: DRUNK!

Shroob: Round! Soft! No, round!

Theirepan: Blurry!

[The MightyP shakes his head, lowers his eyes, and brings his fingers to his temple in annoyance. Cut back to Noipoi and Duxx.]

Noipoi: ...Ravishing.

Duxx: [Briefly glancing over at Noipoi] Uh-huh. You too. [Brief flash over to MightyP, whose gaze returns to the monitor.] Hold on... That's the nickelodeon all stars fighting game right there... Noipoi, you... [He turns to Noipoi, then he notices something off-screen.] Noipoi, are we having a prom?

[Cut to a shot of the room behind them, which is decorated with ribbons, balloons, streamers, and various themed decorations while rocking jazz music plays. One of Smashing Ramen's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]

Noipoi: Yeah. Nah. Yeah-ah. Well the... Yeah, the thing is...

[Cut to a shot of Shroob, MightyP, and Theirepan watching the monitors. Shroob has a grin on his face, Theirepan looks concerned, and MightyP looks very worried. Suddenly Snake bursts in through the door behind them.]

Snake: Guys! Hey fellas, listen! It's just the figures that get cancer!

Smashing Ramen: [Appearing behind Snake] It's not even cancer! It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure porcelain. Here, watch this.

[The Smashing Ramen shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the Vtuber creature from earlier. It spins around in the jar and comes to a stop.] Ooh, look! It hates me so much! [The Vtuber creature attempts to bite the Smashing Ramen again as Shroob leans in for a closer look. The Vtuber creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and Shroob chuckles to himself at its actions. Snake walks up to Shroob and Smashing Ramen and places her arms around their shoulders.]

Snake: [Laughing] So, we're fine. As long as nobody teleports any anime figurines.

Shroob: Question.

Snake: What's your question, Shroob?

Shroob: I teleported anime figurines.

Snake: You what?

Shroob: You told me to.

Snake: [Threateningly] How... much...?

Shroob: [Leaning backwards] I have done nothing but teleport Vtuber for three days.

[Smashing Ramen throws the jar containing the Vtuber creature onto the ground. Shattering glass can be heard.']

Smashing Ramen: Where?! [He grabs Shroob by his coat.] Where have you been sending it?!

[An ominous rumble shakes the entire area as the group look to the nearby Chick-Fil-A. Cut to Noipoi and Duxx, who are also looking around].

Duxx: Noipoi... I get one day off a year. And you just wasted it on-- [He looks around him, pausing mid-sentence.] --this! Goodbye!

Noipoi: Wait! Wait! Wait! Ah... [Noipoi walks towards a door labeled Dining Area.] Why don't we discuss it over dinner...? (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant Vtuber monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays.]

Duxx: [Yelling] What the hell is that!?

[The Vtuber monster crashes through the door as Noipoi pulls Duxx out of harm's way. The two run for the exit as the Vtuber monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. Noipoi backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. The dove from earlier flies at the monster and is promptly eaten by it. The wooden platform they're standing on creaks from the weight of the monster. Both Noipoi and Duxx look down at the wood below them. Another jolt knocks them off their feet. Now weakened, the wooden platform collapses, sending the trio plummeting to the dirt below. Duxx tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, helmet falling off of his head. Noipoi, meanwhile, bounces off the Vtuber monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. He glances down to his right, and picks up a long piece of twisted metal with a spike on the end of it to use as a makeshift weapon.]

Noipoi: Duxx, run!

[Noipoi motions for him to escape to safety. Duxx climbs to his feet and darts away, pressing himself up against the RED payload bomb. Bakugan, Smashing Ramen, and Pokelego rush to the aid of Noipoi and Duxx. Bakugan and Smashing Ramen pause and look at the Vtuber monster with fear in their eyes.]

Bakugan: [Turning to the Smashing Ramen] NOW, DOCTOR!

[Smashing Ramen looks at Bakugan, then flips the handle of his Medi Gun. The healing beam latches onto the Bakugan, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the ÜberCharge is deployed. Bakugan revs his mini-gun up and walks towards the Vtuber monster, firing his weapon. Pokelego can also be seen engulfing the monster in flames. It smashes the cliff face with a tentacle, causing rock to come tumbling down on Bakugan, who endures the debris pounding down on his back.]

[Cut to a shot of Duxx watching the battle. Pokelego can be seen dashing back to the battle, having presumably been knocked back by the Vtuber monster. Duxx steps forward and turns to look at the bomb. The camera zooms in on the top of the bomb where the words DANGER: BOMB are spray-painted onto it. A look of realization appears on his face.]

[Cut back to the battle, and Pokelego stomps on one of the tentacles. The Vtuber monster turns his attention towards the Pokelego, and immediately has its mouth filled with fire. It recoils in pain, letting out a loud roar. Noipoi can be seen dodging the tentacles, jumping onto one and using his makeshift weapon to impale one of the other tentacles. In the background, Bakugan and Smashing Ramen push forward while Snake and Theirepan stay behind to build up a Poke Sniper and lob grenades at the Vtuber monster, respectively. Snake smacks her Poke Sniper with her wrench, upgrading it to Level 2, and she motions for Theirepan to move up.]

[Duxx has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. Noipoi, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the Vtuber monster and slams his club into it. He then gets grabbed by a tentacle and is yanked into the air. Lamperouge arrives at the battle, and after a brief moment of aiming, shoots the tentacle holding Noipoi, freeing him from its grasp. The monster throws Noipoi at the Theirepan, and they both collapse onto the ground. Noipoi scrambles to his feet and rushes forward, but is stopped by an uncloaking MightyP.]

MightyP: I think it's going pretty well... [He gives the Noipoi a pat on the back as a cloud of dust rolls over them.] Now go...! [He waves the Noipoi off and runs forward into battle. Noipoi turns back to Duxx.]

Noipoi: Hey, Duxx. Oh, I am so sorry...

Duxx: [Looking up from the wires] God, Noipoi, what for? Pressing the one button you're never supposed to press? Do you have any idea what's in a nickelodeon all stars fighting game that-- [Duxx spots the watch on Noipoi's arm] --Oh, oh! Give me your watch! [He holds his hand out expectantly]

Noipoi: Yeah. Exactly! [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Duxx] See, that is where this all starts! No, actually, wait...

[Noipoi is interrupted by a scream, and Shroob flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]

Shroob: [proudly] HA HA HA! I TELEPORTED VTUBER FIGURES!

[Shroob is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. In the distance, a tentacle knocks over both Pokelego and Theirepan as Snake hastily backs up to avoid another tentacle. Lamperouge attempts to take another shot at the monster but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle. He gets swung to one side and loses his grip on his gun. Lamperouge tumbles through the gravel briefly before getting back to his feet and taking out his Kukri. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]

Noipoi: ...so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this...

[In the background, Smashing Ramen hurriedly rushed forward to heal Pokelego, who has been lifted by another tentacle]

Duxx: GUYS! CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS! [He points at the hangar they just exited from.]

[Snake looks at him, then abandons her Sniper, which is now Level 3, to rush into the hangar. The Smashing Ramen runs in front of the camera as it focuses back on Noipoi and Duxx.]

Noipoi: Duxx. Look, my last few hours I just wanted...

[The Vtuber monster grabs a hold of the bomb and swings it around in the air. It lets out another roar.]

Bakugan: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON!

Noipoi: Um, never mind...

Duxx: RUN!

[The two rush towards the hangar, but they get cut off by the payload bomb being thrown at the blast doors, bending them and denying them access.]

Noipoi: Oh God...

[They back up towards the blast doors as the Vtuber monster lumbers towards them slowly. A large fire has broken out behind it. Cut to a close-up of Noipoi and Duxx. Noipoi is busy searching for an escape route while Duxx has a look of terror on his face. Noipoi grabs a hold of him and yanks her off to one side as the Vtuber monster knocks the bomb around. They take shelter behind it. Noipoi looks at the monster, which lets out a long roar. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the dove it swallowed earlier is seen sitting inside it. Noipoi and Duxx look on, amazed, as the dove takes off and flies away.]

[Duxx looks Noipoi in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. He lets out a yelp as one of the Vtuber monster's tentacles slams into the ground. Noipoi grabs a hold of him and, making use of the Smash moves he learned from MightyP, keeps him safe from harm. They stop as he holds him up and looks at him. He looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in his hand. He twirls him back onto his feet and the two start running.]

[Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. Noipoi and Duxx run at the Vtuber monster as he lets out a yelp. The timer ticks down to one second as they leap straight into the open maw of the monster. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black.]

[A match is lit, revealing Noipoi and Duxx pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]

Noipoi: [Struggling] Aaahhhh... Ah... Duxx, you all right?

Duxx: [Opening his eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck...

Noipoi: Oh God...

Duxx: Oh. Now I can feel it. Ow. Ow.

Noipoi: Oh God, I am so sorry. This is...

Duxx: That... was so... much... FUN! [A smile forms on his face]

Noipoi: [A look of confusion on his face] You're not mad?

Duxx: [quickly] I was furious. Oh my God, you set off the nickelodeon all stars fighting game alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. Can we do this again?

Noipoi: Yeah, sure! [He smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown] Wait, nah. We can't. I'm going to be dead.

Duxx: [Confused] Wait, what?

Shroob: [Poking his head into the cavity] Good news! We're not dying! We are going to live forever!

[Bakugan lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Noipoi and Duxx.]

Smashing Ramen:I didn't say that! I just said we're not filled with cancer tumors!

Noipoi: Oh thank God. [relaxes and chuckles] So yeah, Duxx. I guess it's a meet up.

Duxx: Actually this is my only day off this year.

Noipoi: Oh...

Duxx: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. [brings out a flip notebook]

[The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. Snake and Smashing Ramen are seen at the bottom of the shot discussing something. MightyP flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. Bakugan grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to Theirepan, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. Lamperouge is on the backside of the monster, cleaning his Kukri. As the camera pulls back farther, Pokelego can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small Vtuber monster darting around his legs like a puppy as they try to keep track of it.]

Duxx: Tomorrow...I'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses.

Noipoi: Ah, no.

Duxx: Oh! You can help me yank the molars out of a box full of heads.

Noipoi: No to that.

Duxx: Well, on Friday I got to kill someone who pressed a nickelodeon all stars fighting game alarm button and...oh.

[Cut to black]

Duxx: You're already going to be at that one.

[The screen then cuts to a text with the Team Fortress 2: Free to Play logo with the sharp tolling of a bell. Another ring comes with the appearance of the text "www.teamfortress.com". The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again]
 
Last edited:

Shroob

Sup?
Joined
Sep 26, 2013
Messages
31,294
Location
Washington
I dunno why I spent nearly an hour making this, but here I am. Please note everything done here is for comedic effect.
[The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Lamperouge. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a red truck covered in Vtubers screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.]
[Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a Bakugan drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Noipoi and Bakugan hunched over at the wheel.]

[Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. Bakugan's bulk of cards is apparent on the left as compared to Noipoi's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Fuzzy Pokemon plushies adorn the rear view mirror. Bakugan continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.]

[Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Bakugan looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Noipoi. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Bakugan hits the Noipoi without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Noipoi jerks awake.]

Noipoi: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh.

[Noipoi reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Duxx.]

Duxx: Noipoi, it's duxx. Tell me you got the nickelodeon all stars fighting game cretin.

Noipoi: Yeah sure.

Duxx: And nobody saw you?

Noipoi: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody.

Duxx: [Her expression darkens] Noipoi, I'm here right now.

Noipoi: Well that's a funny story...

[The cab's rear door abruptly opens and Shroob steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Noipoi's face. Noipoi throws up his hands, Bakugan is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and Shroob takes over the monitor.]

Shroob: [brightly] Hello, Duxx! We killed everyone and took a nickelodeon all stars fighting game!

[He brandishes a BLU nickelodeon all stars fighting game]

Duxx: Not everybody, Shroob. You left seven weebs, guys.

[A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Duxx turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.]

Duxx: [matter-of-factly] Six.

[The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Poke Snipers and a RED-owned building in the distance. A dead BLU Guh-Huzzah can be seen draped on the roof of the van. As the van drives in, a wooden prop of Amelia Watson with some desert plants pops up and a painted curtain background falls into place, disguising the entrance.]

Duxx: [she continues talking as the camera pans] Look, just keep the nickelodeon all stars fighting game safe okay?

[Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. The rear bumper falls off.]

Duxx: Have a good weekend guys. Looking to Noipoi. Have a bad weekend Noi.

[Front shot of the van pulling into the garage. A BLU Theirepan's boot can be seen sticking out from underneath the hood which has a hood ornament reading "ANIME". Bakugan looks harassed and brings the vehicle to a stop. The dead BLU Guh-Huzzah slides off the roof. The Bakugan leaves the keys in the ignition and exits the van.]

Shroob: [his hand still covering Noipoi's face] Goodbye, Duxx! I'm leaving the van now. (Note: captions read "Mr. Duxx")

[Shroob disappears into the rear of the van and the door slides closed behind him. Cut shot to the Noipoi who looks relieved at the hand being removed from his face. He adjusts his hat and headset with both hands. He looks back at the door.]

Noipoi: Bye bye. Okay then.

[The background music stops and the van grows quiet. The Noipoi turns back to the monitor.]

Noipoi: Hey, hey Duxx! Before you go. Ahh-

Duxx: Uh huh?

[He is dragging a body. Noipoi stammers and scratches his face.]

Duxx: [distracted] Noipoi? What? What the **** do you want?

Noipoi: [regains confidence] You're probably real busy this weekend, right?

Duxx: [finished with dragging body, he stands up and wipes the dirt from his hands] Funny you should mention that. Looks like I will be... burying bodies all weekend. [he grabs a Fire Axe and brings his face closer to the camera] So you don't go to jail you buffoon.

Noipoi: [stammering] Oh g-good. So...we're both busy.

[Cut to Duxx on the monitor. He looks at him quizzically in silence. Noipoi returns the glance awkwardly. Suddenly a siren can be heard in the background with guards shouting. Duxx reacts and turns hurriedly from the camera.]

Duxx: Oh! Gotta go.

[He disappears off-camera. Muffled shots can be heard. The monitor buzzes off. Cut back to Noipoi with a pained expression on his face. Side view of cab with Noipoi leaning back resignedly.]

Noipoi: Lot of people busy with busyness. (Note: caption reads "business")

[Bakugan can be seen in the background, checking the fridge's contents. The MightyP walks slowly, passing front of the camera left to right, cigarette in hand.]

MightyP: [smugly] Still trying to make up with that New Jersey guy again, I see. [snickering]

Noipoi: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] **** you MightyP.

[He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. He looks down, then chuckles sadly to himself. He gets out of the van. Bakugan takes some seeds from the fridge and tosses it over his shoulder to his birds, who are waiting for food.]

[The camera pans slowly with Noipoi walking left to right from the van to the table. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. He tosses the keys in the air and deftly catches them.Shroob attempts to extricate the BLU Guh-Huzah's body from the hood of the van. The RED Theirepan takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. Bakugan manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]

Noipoi: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a Vtuber figure, and an ashtray] Hey, look at all this. What have you two eggheads been workin' on?

[Smashing Ramen and Snake are discussing something, but turn to Noipoi when he addresses them. Noipoi tosses the keys. They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor.]

Noipoi: Nice catch.

[The Snake turns to Smashing Ramen. He turns to address the Noipoi while Smashing Ramen steps back.]

Snake: Yeah. Listen now... We've been running some experiments on the Teleporter.

[Snake gestures with her head to the Teleporter. Shroob wanders over, interested. Bakugan remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]

Snake: Well yeah. Y'all ought to take a look at this.

[The flute continues to trill in the background. Snake picks up her PDA and activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. Shroob stands with his arms akimbo. Suddenly, another figurine appears, silently hovering. Bakugan is somewhat intrigued, but Shroob is utterly amazed, reaching out with both hands to grab the loaf. Noipoi, however, is unimpressed.]

Noipoi: [disinterestedly while the background drum beats a steady tattoo] Wow. You can teleport anime. That is...big news. Um. Is Theirepan back with the beer yet? Cause I...

[He turns back while Smashing Ramen breaks smashes the figure with a sickening crunch. The interior of the figure breaks to reveal a mutated version of the figure, pulsating green lumps and teeth. Snake winces while Noipoi yelps and throws his hands in the air. The background music stops]

Noipoi: Whoa! What the hell is that?!

Smashing Ramen: [cheerily, gesturing slightly with a half of the throbbing loaf] Cancer!

[Cut to Bakugan. He suddenly looks concerned and stops eating his Sandvich. He eyes it worriedly.]

Snake: [adjusting his helmet] Y'all know what this means right?

[Shroob suddenly grabs Noipoi by the neck and slams him onto the table.]

Shroob: Arrghh! We cannot sell anime on the black market anymore!

Noipoi: [choked and strained] Not my fault..!

[He nearly chokes Noipoi and raises a hand as if to punch his face. Bakugan still leans nonchalantly on the fridge door. Snake intervenes raising her hands.]

Snake: Whoa! Whoa... Not exactly, Shroob. [she places her hand on the Shroob's back and smiles] You sell as you like.

[His smile fades and he removes his helmet. Ominous sounding strings start up. Bakugan looks at his Sandvich, sniffs it, shrugs, and continues eating.]

Snake: That goes for all of ya. If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before ya...Well. Died. Now would be a...good time.

[Suddenly, the MightyP's voice is heard. The Snake turns. Cut to the MightyP, languidly brandishing a cigarette from its case]

MightyP: How long before these...mutations and cancer combine to kill us?

Smashing Ramen: Well, let's see. [he gestures, thinking out loud.] We all use the teleporter, let's say six times a day...

[Cut to the rest of the team, Noipoi is still rubbing his sore neck, Shroob stands stoically, Bakugan still leans on the fridge door, Sandvich now half-eaten, and Snake replaces his helmet, backwards as usual. Cut back to Smashing Ramen]

Smashing Ramen: Times four years. Minus...we're not Vtuber. Hmm.

[He turns abruptly. The MightyP is startled]

Smashing Ramen: Three days. Yes.

[The strings rise to a crescendo while the camera dramatically zooms to the Smashing Ramen's face. Deep chimes accent the moment]

Smashing Ramen: We all have three days to live.

[The strings slow then stop. Cut back to the team. Noipoi and Bakugan look worried while Snake looks down at the floor. Shroob, confused, counts off: one, two...]

Theirepan: Whooooooooo!! Woooooo!!

[He appears in a flash from the idle Teleporter. He triumphantly celebrates his arrival with a crate of beer with limes wedged in the necks, his grenades on his vest removed to carry bottles. As his wobbles precariously on the Teleporter as it slows down, we can see that he is also festively clad in a sombrero and novelty Margarita shaped sunglasses while also carrying another beer]

Theirepan: Woo! [he looks around at their faces] What?

[Expiration Date Title Card]

[RED BASE: 70 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to the RED Vtuber building. It is now night and a lone Level 1 Poke Sniper guards the entrance. A march-like drum beat plays]

[Cut to a close-up of a poker table. A cigar smolders in the ashtray while the MightyP unceremoniously drops a metal pail. It is filled with note cards. A literal bucket list.]

MightyP: This is a bucket.

[Cut to a side shot of the mercenaries at the poker table. With Theirepan on the far right in the foreground grasping his bottle, everyone else is arranged counter-clockwise from him: Pokelego, Lamperouge, Bakugan, Noipoi, Shroob, and MightyP on the right foreground. Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. Half-standing, Shroob examines the bucket.]

Shroob: Dear God.

MightyP: There's more.

Shroob: [astonished] No!

MightyP: [ignoring him] It contains the dying wish of every man here. [turns] Noipoi. You did collect everyone's dying wish?

Noipoi: Oh, you bet!

[He salutes.Bakugan slowly folds his arms.]

MightyP: Excellent. Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches.

[Cut to a close-up of the watch. Red embossing tape declares it a "DEATH CLOCK". The display beeps as the various mercenaries set their watches. It reads 70:00:00. 70 hours left to live and counting. Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard.]

[All the mercenaries are expressionless except for Bakugan who is on the verge of falling asleep with his arms folded. The MightyP steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]

MightyP: We have seventy hours to live. For most men, no time at all.

[The camera cuts to a shot of the MightyP walking behind Bakugan's back. A Payload Pinball machine can be seen in the background. The music swells from mournful to patriotic. He places a hand on Bakugan's shoulder, jerking him awake. Bakugan momentarily looks guilty.]

MightyP: We are not most men.

[The MightyP now walks behind the table. The camera pans to a shot showing all the mercenaries gathered around the table intently focusing on his words.]

MightyP: We are mercenaries. We have the resources. The will. To make these hours count! [he gestures emphatically with his lit cigarette while the trumpets and drum beats swell]

MightyP: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Let's begin.

[Reverse shot with the bucket in the foreground. The mercenaries' expressions show varying degrees of interest. The MightyP draws a note card from the bucket.]

MightyP: Our first dying wish is Noipoi's. [he gestures] He's...

[The MightyP examines the card. His brow wrinkles]

MightyP: ...drawn a picture of me getting done by a large creature labeled “Your Mother”.

[The drawing is somewhat crude. The mother is drawn in much greater detail than the MightyP who is shown in great pain.]

MightyP: [he peers closer] I have something radiating off of me.

Noipoi: Yeah, those are stink lines.

[He turns to the rest of the mercenaries in a mock whisper. Shroob is mildly amused.]

Noipoi: That's why the mom hit him. Cause he smells.

MightyP: [rolling his eyes as he draws another card] Yes I see. Here you've drawn me having...

[The camera tastefully remains on his face.]

MightyP: [somewhat bemused] ...sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower. [he tosses it and draws another while Noipoi giggles] The Eiffel Tower having sexual congress with me. [toss and giggle] Both of us relaxing post-coitus.

[Theirepan mouths "post-coitus" and the Noipoi is nearly in tears with laughter.]

MightyP: [growing more irritated] I'm crying and the Eiffel Tower has stink lines coming off of it. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Noipoi put a card into the bucket?!

[Bakugan and Lamperouge are slightly amused. Noipoi is near breathless with laughter.]

Noipoi: [giggling] Oh man, Classic Noipoi.

MightyP: [sighing] Fantastic. This was a huge waste of my time.

Shroob: [pulling out a card] You did not read mine!

MightyP: [another sigh] Does it say you want the bucket?

Shroob: [interrupting] Yes!

[Disgusted, the MightyP slides the bucket over as the rest of the mercenaries get up to leave. Shroob greedily grabs the pail with both hands. The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table as the MightyP pulls his Cigarette Case from his jacket and draws a cigarette.]

MightyP: See you all in hell. [he snaps the case shut]

[The camera switches to the mercenaries walking down a hallway. Shroob stops and examines his new bucket next to a sign pointing to the "LAB". Mid-tempo mysterious music plays with rhythmic drums, piano, and plucked strings. Snake and Smashing Ramen walk by pushing Teleporters and piles of figurines on two carts to the lab. A gawr gura figure falls off of the pile and Shroob gasps and grabs his bucket more tightly. The camera spotlights the figure with ominous bass piano notes. A grin appears on his face as he stares at the fallen figure. The screen cuts to black.]

[MightyP'S SMOKING ROOM: 58 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to rear shot of the MightyP sitting back in his leather arm chair. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. The MightyP swirls his cut crystal glass and takes a drink whilst reading "Dapper Cadavar Monthly" magazine, as the track of the same name plays in the background. Someone knocks on his door.]

MightyP: Go away.

[He flips a page and frowns. Noipoi opens the door and peeks in.]

Noipoi: Hey, ah, you got a second?

MightyP: Oh, Noipoi. Please. Go [bleep] yourself.

Noipoi: [nervously] Yeah. Hey that's, that's funny. Um. Anyway I-

[The MightyP suddenly lunges towards the door, slamming it shut on Noipoi's body. He leans on it trying to force Noipoi out.]

Noipoi: [in pain] Wait! Wait! Wait! Ow. Come on, MightyP.

[The MightyP raises his knife, threateningly]

Noipoi: I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry.

MightyP: [rolls his eyes and gets off the door, light chimes and strings play] Make it quick. [he lights a cigarette]

Noipoi: [straightening himself out] So, I did write down a last wish. [he brings out a card] I'd uh. I'd like to make up...with Duxx.

MightyP: [turns] You? You're terrible with people.

Noipoi: What? No. No. No. MightyP, look at this. And this. And this here. MightyP, look at all of this. [he gestures to different parts of his body and spins around] Heh. No. I'm great with people.

[Scene flashes back to a cheap fast food joint. Noipoi and a blonde haired woman are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]

Noipoi: We both got buckets of chicken. Wanna do it?

Blonde Woman: [shrugs] Eh, okay.

[Scene switches back to MightyP and Noipoi.]

Noipoi: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, MightyP. You are amazing with people. You know, classy ones. The kind that smell good, and can read. And that always have their glasses on just kind of crooked. You know? The ones that don't go for a guy like me.

[MightyP looks at Noipoi with a smug grin.]

MightyP: Hmm, and why is that, do you think?

Noipoi: C'mon, MightyP, I don't know.

MightyP: Well, a mystery we will take to our graves then. Goodbye.

[MightyP walks away to pour a drink. The bar has several bottles of RED wine, glasses, and a console. He selects a rocks glass to pour a hard liquor.]

Noipoi: Wait. Wait. Ah. [sigh] Okay. Look. Fine. MightyP. This never leaves this room [sigh]. You are better than me. All right? I need your help.

[MightyP stops pouring, looks up, and turns towards Noipoi.]

MightyP: I'll do it. On one condition.

[The MightyP pushes a button on the console and a microphone pops up. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. The camera goes from the poker table with Theirepan drinking, Bakugan and Lamperouge facing each other in Magic, and Pokelego playing Pokemon; to the Smashing Ramen and Snake in a lab, with the tumorized figurines; and to Shroob carrying away a giant pile of figures in his arms. All perk up to the sound of feedback on the speakers.]

MightyP: Say that [pushes microphone towards Noipoi] again.

[The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black.]

[TRAINING GYM: 51 HOURS TIL DEATH Camera slowly pans into a nearly empty gymnasium. Noipoi bounces on his feet on the right, looking nervous. MightyP calmly places a wine bottle on a cart and inspects two wine glasses. Behind him is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. He places down a glass. Ominous bass strings play.]

[ Noipoi coughs and the MightyP delicately places the second glass down. He pushes the cart which rolls to a stop in front of the Noipoi. It also holds a bucket of drumsticks, several videogames, a vase, and a box of RED chocolates.]

MightyP: [nonchalantly] Seduce me.

[The Noipoi looks back, confused, and turns forward, arms akimbo.]

Noipoi: You?

MightyP: [pointedly] Seduce me.

Noipoi: What, MightyP? I ain't gonna...

MightyP: SEDUCE ME!.

Noipoi: [taken aback] Right! Right. Okay. [He looks down at the cart. He immediately picks up the bucket of fried chicken and lets out a quick sigh.] Okay... [He walks up to the MightyP.] H-hey there, bud'... I got a bucket of chicken...

MightyP: [He slaps the chicken out of Noipoi's hands.] I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps! I'm a man! I like my friends dangerous... Mysterious... [MightyP takes the dummy into his arms and starts dancing with it briefly before holding it in front of him.] You want to be my friend?! Earn it! Seduce me! [He uses the dummy to slap Noipoi across the face, who looks up at him with a hurt expression in his eyes. MightyP simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing.]

[The camera cuts to a shot of MightyP and Noipoi in a classroom setting. The word DINNER is written on the chalkboard as MightyP says something to Noipoi. Later, Noipoi can be seen sitting at the head of a long banquet table. At the other end, Theirepan and Lamperouge can be seen playing the Piano and Saxophone, respectively. Behind him, Pokelego and MightyP are holding a bottle of wine and a bucket of chicken. Noipoi reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on his face, but MightyP slaps his hand away. The fork flies out of his hand and lands on Theirepan's eye, whose other eye immediately widens.]

[Cut back to MightyP and Noipoi in the classroom, only this time PLAYING SMASH is written on the chalkboard. Back in the previous room, Noipoi can be seen awkwardly trying to play Fox in Melee with energy. He he attempts to combo MightyP, who merely shakes his head with disgust. The MightyP proceeds to show Noipoi the proper way to combo, three stocking Noipoi, who is confused. He attempts to mimic the MightyP's actions, but instead SDs.]

[In the classroom, the word DEMEANOR is now written on the board as the MightyP continues to educate Noipoi, who is busy drawing a picture of MightyP being shot in the head. He hits Noipoi in the face with the pointer, who reels back in pain.]

[Noipoi can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. A can of BONK! is set in front of him. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Noipoi, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. More cans of BONK! can be seen littered around the room, and he is now reading a book titled How to beat someone in Smash Melee. Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which the Noipoi, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it, a more confident expression on his face.]

[Cut to Noipoi back at the banquet table, and he extends his pinkie out as he holds the chicken. Later, he can be seen gently embracing the hand of the dummy as the MightyP watches. Noipoi then can be seen beating MightyP in a game of Melee. Cut to black.]

[TRAINING GYM : 2 HOURS TIL DEATH Floodlights come to life, illuminating Noipoi, who is sitting in a classroom chair in the middle of a wrestling ring. After a brief delay, he raises his hand in front of him to shield his eyes from the bright lights.]

MightyP: Final Question... [Cut to a shot of MightyP, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] You have a dinner meetup for seven at Chick-Fil-A... what time do you arrive? [He walks across the ring, awaiting Noipoi's answer.]

Noipoi: Seven. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. [He makes a gun formation with his right hand. MightyP can be seen walking around Noipoi as the camera rotates around him in the opposite direction.] Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30...

[MightyP looks down at Noipoi, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks...]

MightyP: You're ready.

Noipoi: [hopeful] Really?

MightyP: [chucking softly] No. Everything you just said was insane... and, we are out of time. [He sets a glass of liquid in front of the Noipoi.] Congratulations. You're a failure.

Noipoi: Oh... [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. He sits back down and slides out of his chair. The MightyP rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] I failed, did I?

MightyP: [grinning] Yes.

Noipoi: Did I?

MightyP: Yes...

Noipoi: Did I?

MightyP: [Annoyed] Noipoi, where is this going?

Noipoi: Where it's going is I don't need you. I'll put this show on myself!

MightyP: [An expression of disbelief crosses his face] Yourself...?

Noipoi: That's right, fancy pants, myself! [The MightyP's mouth twitches as he stops himself from laughing] So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways, and- [The MightyP taps his watch, voicelessly reminding Noipoi of the death watch] -Okay, crap, I gotta go... [He quickly downs the rest of his drink and begins to walk off-screen, but leans back towards the MightyP.] Screw you, though... [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Briefcase theft, push button. As he does so, he turns around, casually hits the button with his fist, and points at the MightyP as he walks away. Klaxons start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing.]

[Fade to a shot of the Smashing Ramen's Laboratory.]

[Smashing Ramen'S LAB : 1 HOUR TIL DEATH]

[The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. The camera slowly pans to the left, revealing the Snake and Smashing Ramen with a pair of teleporters set up between them. As the Smashing Ramen inspects the teleporter, Snake calls out to him.]

Snake: Y'all ready?

Smashing Ramen: [Turning to the Snake] Ready!

[Snake picks up a figurine. The tumors are now plainly visible on the outside. He sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards, making a noise of disgust. He places the figure on the teleporter, and it disappears in a flash of light. About a second later, it reappears in front of Smashing Ramen, and begins chittering loudly, squirming in place.]

Smashing Ramen: Ooh!

[The Smashing Ramen leans forward with interest. The figure grows teeth and roars at the Smashing Ramen, who lets out a scream of fear as the Vtuber creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. The Smashing Ramen continues to scream as he grabs onto the Vtuber creature and attempts to pry it off.]

Snake: Aww hell...

[Snake walks off-camera as energetic drums start to play in the background. Cut to a shot of Duxx on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of it. He ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. A look of determination can be seen on his face. He comes to a stop outside a steel plate door and hops off of the scooter, shotgun in hand.]

[RED BASE : 40 MINUTES TIL DEATH]

[As Duxx walks towards the door, the scooter falls onto its side. The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Alexxela falls out of one of the bags. Duxx briefly turns towards the scooter, as if to set it back upright, but instead continues on towards the door. He places his back up against the wall to the left of the door and glances upwards briefly.]

Duxx: [Quickly] You're ready. Alright. [He lets out a deep breath, ***** the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Noipoi's chest, who's waiting for him there.]

Noipoi: [unconvincingly] Duxx. What an unexpected surprise.

Duxx: They took the briefcase... Don't worry, we can fix this. [He pushes past the Noipoi, who follows him.] We'll get it back, and the Administrator never has to know.

[A security camera tracks their movements as Duxx adjusts his glasses.]

Noipoi: You look... You look... aahhhhhh...

[Close up of the camera, then cut to a shot of Theirepan, Shroob, and MightyP in a room full of monitors, watching the two interact. MightyP is sitting in the chair in front of the monitors while Shroob and Theirepan stand behind him.]

Theirepan: DRUNK!

Shroob: Round! Soft! No, round!

Theirepan: Blurry!

[The MightyP shakes his head, lowers his eyes, and brings his fingers to his temple in annoyance. Cut back to Noipoi and Duxx.]

Noipoi: ...Ravishing.

Duxx: [Briefly glancing over at Noipoi] Uh-huh. You too. [Brief flash over to MightyP, whose gaze returns to the monitor.] Hold on... That's the briefcase right there... Noipoi, you... [He turns to Noipoi, then he notices something off-screen.] Noipoi, are we having a prom?

[Cut to a shot of the room behind them, which is decorated with ribbons, balloons, streamers, and various themed decorations while rocking jazz music plays. One of Smashing Ramen's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]

Noipoi: Yeah. Nah. Yeah-ah. Well the... Yeah, the thing is...

[Cut to a shot of Shroob, MightyP, and Theirepan watching the monitors. Shroob has a grin on his face, Theirepan looks concerned, and MightyP looks very worried. Suddenly Snake bursts in through the door behind them.]

Snake: Guys! Hey fellas, listen! It's just the figures that get cancer!

Smashing Ramen: [Appearing behind Snake] It's not even cancer! It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure porcelain. Here, watch this.

[The Smashing Ramen shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the Vtuber creature from earlier. It spins around in the jar and comes to a stop.] Ooh, look! It hates me so much! [The Vtuber creature attempts to bite the Smashing Ramen again as Shroob leans in for a closer look. The Vtuber creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and Shroob chuckles to himself at its actions. Snake walks up to Shroob and Smashing Ramen and places her arms around their shoulders.]

Snake: [Laughing] So, we're fine. As long as nobody teleports any anime figurines.

Shroob: Question.

Snake: What's your question, Shroob?

Shroob: I teleported anime figurines.

Snake: You what?

Shroob: You told me to.

Snake: [Threateningly] How... much...?

Shroob: [Leaning backwards] I have done nothing but teleport Vtuber for three days.

[Smashing Ramen throws the jar containing the Vtuber creature onto the ground. Shattering glass can be heard.']

Smashing Ramen: Where?! [He grabs Shroob by his coat.] Where have you been sending it?!

[An ominous rumble shakes the entire area as the group look to the nearby Chick-Fil-A. Cut to Noipoi and Duxx, who are also looking around].

Duxx: Noipoi... I get one day off a year. And you just wasted it on-- [He looks around him, pausing mid-sentence.] --this! Goodbye!

Noipoi: Wait! Wait! Wait! Ah... [Noipoi walks towards a door labeled Dining Area.] Why don't we discuss it over dinner...? (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant Vtuber monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays.]

Duxx: [Yelling] What the hell is that!?

[The Vtuber monster crashes through the door as Noipoi pulls Duxx out of harm's way. The two run for the exit as the Vtuber monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. Noipoi backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. The dove from earlier flies at the monster and is promptly eaten by it. The wooden platform they're standing on creaks from the weight of the monster. Both Noipoi and Duxx look down at the wood below them. Another jolt knocks them off their feet. Now weakened, the wooden platform collapses, sending the trio plummeting to the dirt below. Duxx tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, helmet falling off of his head. Noipoi, meanwhile, bounces off the Vtuber monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. He glances down to his right, and picks up a long piece of twisted metal with a spike on the end of it to use as a makeshift weapon.]

Noipoi: Duxx, run!

[Noipoi motions for him to escape to safety. Duxx climbs to his feet and darts away, pressing himself up against the RED payload bomb. Bakugan, Smashing Ramen, and Pokelego rush to the aid of Noipoi and Duxx. Bakugan and Smashing Ramen pause and look at the Vtuber monster with fear in their eyes.]

Bakugan: [Turning to the Smashing Ramen] NOW, DOCTOR!

[Smashing Ramen looks at Bakugan, then flips the handle of his Medi Gun. The healing beam latches onto the Bakugan, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the ÜberCharge is deployed. Bakugan revs his mini-gun up and walks towards the Vtuber monster, firing his weapon. Pokelego can also be seen engulfing the monster in flames. It smashes the cliff face with a tentacle, causing rock to come tumbling down on Bakugan, who endures the debris pounding down on his back.]

[Cut to a shot of Duxx watching the battle. Pokelego can be seen dashing back to the battle, having presumably been knocked back by the Vtuber monster. Duxx steps forward and turns to look at the bomb. The camera zooms in on the top of the bomb where the words DANGER: BOMB are spray-painted onto it. A look of realization appears on his face.]

[Cut back to the battle, and Pokelego stomps on one of the tentacles. The Vtuber monster turns his attention towards the Pokelego, and immediately has its mouth filled with fire. It recoils in pain, letting out a loud roar. Noipoi can be seen dodging the tentacles, jumping onto one and using his makeshift weapon to impale one of the other tentacles. In the background, Bakugan and Smashing Ramen push forward while Snake and Theirepan stay behind to build up a Poke Sniper and lob grenades at the Vtuber monster, respectively. Snake smacks her Poke Sniper with her wrench, upgrading it to Level 2, and she motions for Theirepan to move up.]

[Duxx has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. Noipoi, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the Vtuber monster and slams his club into it. He then gets grabbed by a tentacle and is yanked into the air. Lamperouge arrives at the battle, and after a brief moment of aiming, shoots the tentacle holding Noipoi, freeing him from its grasp. The monster throws Noipoi at the Theirepan, and they both collapse onto the ground. Noipoi scrambles to his feet and rushes forward, but is stopped by an uncloaking MightyP.]

MightyP: I think it's going pretty well... [He gives the Noipoi a pat on the back as a cloud of dust rolls over them.] Now go...! [He waves the Noipoi off and runs forward into battle. Noipoi turns back to Duxx.]

Noipoi: Hey, Duxx. Oh, I am so sorry...

Duxx: [Looking up from the wires] God, Noipoi, what for? Pressing the one button you're never supposed to press? Do you have any idea what's in a briefcase that-- [Duxx spots the watch on Noipoi's arm] --Oh, oh! Give me your watch! [He holds his hand out expectantly]

Noipoi: Yeah. Exactly! [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Duxx] See, that is where this all starts! No, actually, wait...

[Noipoi is interrupted by a scream, and Shroob flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]

Shroob: [proudly] HA HA HA! I TELEPORTED VTUBER FIGURES!

[Shroob is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. In the distance, a tentacle knocks over both Pokelego and Theirepan as Snake hastily backs up to avoid another tentacle. Lamperouge attempts to take another shot at the monster but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle. He gets swung to one side and loses his grip on his gun. Lamperouge tumbles through the gravel briefly before getting back to his feet and taking out his Kukri. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]

Noipoi: ...so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this...

[In the background, Smashing Ramen hurriedly rushed forward to heal Pokelego, who has been lifted by another tentacle]

Duxx: GUYS! CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS! [He points at the hangar they just exited from.]

[Snake looks at him, then abandons her Sniper, which is now Level 3, to rush into the hangar. The Smashing Ramen runs in front of the camera as it focuses back on Noipoi and Duxx.]

Noipoi: Duxx. Look, my last few hours I just wanted...

[The Vtuber monster grabs a hold of the bomb and swings it around in the air. It lets out another roar.]

Bakugan: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON!

Noipoi: Um, never mind...

Duxx: RUN!

[The two rush towards the hangar, but they get cut off by the payload bomb being thrown at the blast doors, bending them and denying them access.]

Noipoi: Oh God...

[They back up towards the blast doors as the Vtuber monster lumbers towards them slowly. A large fire has broken out behind it. Cut to a close-up of Noipoi and Duxx. Noipoi is busy searching for an escape route while Duxx has a look of terror on his face. Noipoi grabs a hold of him and yanks her off to one side as the Vtuber monster knocks the bomb around. They take shelter behind it. Noipoi looks at the monster, which lets out a long roar. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the dove it swallowed earlier is seen sitting inside it. Noipoi and Duxx look on, amazed, as the dove takes off and flies away.]

[Duxx looks Noipoi in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. He lets out a yelp as one of the Vtuber monster's tentacles slams into the ground. Noipoi grabs a hold of him and, making use of the Smash moves he learned from MightyP, keeps him safe from harm. They stop as he holds him up and looks at him. He looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in his hand. He twirls him back onto his feet and the two start running.]

[Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. Noipoi and Duxx run at the Vtuber monster as he lets out a yelp. The timer ticks down to one second as they leap straight into the open maw of the monster. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black.]

[A match is lit, revealing Noipoi and Duxx pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]

Noipoi: [Struggling] Aaahhhh... Ah... Duxx, you all right?

Duxx: [Opening his eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck...

Noipoi: Oh God...

Duxx: Oh. Now I can feel it. Ow. Ow.

Noipoi: Oh God, I am so sorry. This is...

Duxx: That... was so... much... FUN! [A smile forms on his face]

Noipoi: [A look of confusion on his face] You're not mad?

Duxx: [quickly] I was furious. Oh my God, you set off the briefcase alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. Can we do this again?

Noipoi: Yeah, sure! [He smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown] Wait, nah. We can't. I'm going to be dead.

Duxx: [Confused] Wait, what?

Shroob: [Poking his head into the cavity] Good news! We're not dying! We are going to live forever!

[Bakugan lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Noipoi and Duxx.]

Smashing Ramen:I didn't say that! I just said we're not filled with cancer tumors!

Noipoi: Oh thank God. [relaxes and chuckles] So yeah, Duxx. I guess it's a meet up.

Duxx: Actually this is my only day off this year.

Noipoi: Oh...

Duxx: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. [brings out a flip notebook]

[The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. Snake and Smashing Ramen are seen at the bottom of the shot discussing something. MightyP flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. Bakugan grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to Theirepan, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. Lamperouge is on the backside of the monster, cleaning his Kukri. As the camera pulls back farther, Pokelego can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small Vtuber monster darting around his legs like a puppy as they try to keep track of it.]

Duxx: Tomorrow...I'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses.

Noipoi: Ah, no.

Duxx: Oh! You can help me yank the molars out of a box full of heads.

Noipoi: No to that.

Duxx: Well, on Friday I got to kill someone who pressed a briefcase alarm button and...oh.

[Cut to black]

Duxx: You're already going to be at that one.

[The screen then cuts to a text with the Team Fortress 2: Free to Play logo with the sharp tolling of a bell. Another ring comes with the appearance of the text "www.teamfortress.com". The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again]
Holy **** you madlad. WHO IS THIS MAN?!
 

NonSpecificGuy

The Galaxy is at Peace?
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👋👋👋👋 Hello hello, just gonna pop in this time.... NonSpecificGuy NonSpecificGuy TheIrepan8 TheIrepan8

So apparently someone else is also leaving Ubisoft:

"A few minutes ago, Assassin's Creed art director Raphael Lacoste announced his departure from Ubisoft. He was the artistic director of the first Assassin’s Creed and his work can be seen in games such as Assassin’s Creed Black Flag, Assassin’s Creed Origins, and Assassin’s Creed Valhalla. The whole #ACLatam team wishes you the best in the next projects you have. Ubisoft Latam Assassin's Creed # UbisoftLatam"
View attachment 323668

o-o Really, I think this is gonna keep going downhill. Though it might be a sign that they should let the series rest.

Wishing him the very best. My respect to all the artists from the games, they're amazing.
I really don’t know what to think about all the news happening. It’s hard to support Ubisoft in general when there are still abusers in charge and I’m sure this mass emigration’s from the company are a part of it. There’s going to be some further issues revolving around AC for the foreseeable future since they can’t decide what they want from the franchise. It’s a little more irritating when studios like Milan, Mumbai, and Pune are trying their best to deliver great single player experiences.

I’m worried about their staying power with Ubisoft’s new “all live service” direction. Milan will be fine with Nintendo helping them out but with the delays to Sands of Time Remake and it possibly not meeting sales expectations has me concerned that this may be the last hurrah for Ubisoft games for me. It’s such a bummer too because there was a time in the early 2010’s that they were my favorite 3rd Party. It stings to see them heading down the path to another EA.
 

Noipoi

Howdy!
Joined
Jun 19, 2018
Messages
35,400
Location
Joisey
Switch FC
SW: 7210-0785-3330
I dunno why I spent nearly an hour making this, but here I am. Please note everything done here is for comedic effect.
[The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Lamperouge. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a red truck covered in Vtubers screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.]
[Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a Bakugan drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Noipoi and Bakugan hunched over at the wheel.]

[Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. Bakugan's bulk of cards is apparent on the left as compared to Noipoi's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Fuzzy Pokemon plushies adorn the rear view mirror. Bakugan continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.]

[Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Bakugan looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Noipoi. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Bakugan hits the Noipoi without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Noipoi jerks awake.]

Noipoi: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh.

[Noipoi reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Duxx.]

Duxx: Noipoi, it's duxx. Tell me you got the nickelodeon all stars fighting game cretin.

Noipoi: Yeah sure.

Duxx: And nobody saw you?

Noipoi: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody.

Duxx: [Her expression darkens] Noipoi, I'm here right now.

Noipoi: Well that's a funny story...

[The cab's rear door abruptly opens and Shroob steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Noipoi's face. Noipoi throws up his hands, Bakugan is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and Shroob takes over the monitor.]

Shroob: [brightly] Hello, Duxx! We killed everyone and took a nickelodeon all stars fighting game!

[He brandishes a BLU nickelodeon all stars fighting game]

Duxx: Not everybody, Shroob. You left seven weebs, guys.

[A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Duxx turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.]

Duxx: [matter-of-factly] Six.

[The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Poke Snipers and a RED-owned building in the distance. A dead BLU Guh-Huzzah can be seen draped on the roof of the van. As the van drives in, a wooden prop of Amelia Watson with some desert plants pops up and a painted curtain background falls into place, disguising the entrance.]

Duxx: [she continues talking as the camera pans] Look, just keep the nickelodeon all stars fighting game safe okay?

[Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. The rear bumper falls off.]

Duxx: Have a good weekend guys. Looking to Noipoi. Have a bad weekend Noi.

[Front shot of the van pulling into the garage. A BLU Theirepan's boot can be seen sticking out from underneath the hood which has a hood ornament reading "ANIME". Bakugan looks harassed and brings the vehicle to a stop. The dead BLU Guh-Huzzah slides off the roof. The Bakugan leaves the keys in the ignition and exits the van.]

Shroob: [his hand still covering Noipoi's face] Goodbye, Duxx! I'm leaving the van now. (Note: captions read "Mr. Duxx")

[Shroob disappears into the rear of the van and the door slides closed behind him. Cut shot to the Noipoi who looks relieved at the hand being removed from his face. He adjusts his hat and headset with both hands. He looks back at the door.]

Noipoi: Bye bye. Okay then.

[The background music stops and the van grows quiet. The Noipoi turns back to the monitor.]

Noipoi: Hey, hey Duxx! Before you go. Ahh-

Duxx: Uh huh?

[He is dragging a body. Noipoi stammers and scratches his face.]

Duxx: [distracted] Noipoi? What? What the **** do you want?

Noipoi: [regains confidence] You're probably real busy this weekend, right?

Duxx: [finished with dragging body, he stands up and wipes the dirt from his hands] Funny you should mention that. Looks like I will be... burying bodies all weekend. [he grabs a Fire Axe and brings his face closer to the camera] So you don't go to jail you buffoon.

Noipoi: [stammering] Oh g-good. So...we're both busy.

[Cut to Duxx on the monitor. He looks at him quizzically in silence. Noipoi returns the glance awkwardly. Suddenly a siren can be heard in the background with guards shouting. Duxx reacts and turns hurriedly from the camera.]

Duxx: Oh! Gotta go.

[He disappears off-camera. Muffled shots can be heard. The monitor buzzes off. Cut back to Noipoi with a pained expression on his face. Side view of cab with Noipoi leaning back resignedly.]

Noipoi: Lot of people busy with busyness. (Note: caption reads "business")

[Bakugan can be seen in the background, checking the fridge's contents. The MightyP walks slowly, passing front of the camera left to right, cigarette in hand.]

MightyP: [smugly] Still trying to make up with that New Jersey guy again, I see. [snickering]

Noipoi: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] **** you MightyP.

[He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. He looks down, then chuckles sadly to himself. He gets out of the van. Bakugan takes some seeds from the fridge and tosses it over his shoulder to his birds, who are waiting for food.]

[The camera pans slowly with Noipoi walking left to right from the van to the table. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. He tosses the keys in the air and deftly catches them.Shroob attempts to extricate the BLU Guh-Huzah's body from the hood of the van. The RED Theirepan takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. Bakugan manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]

Noipoi: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a Vtuber figure, and an ashtray] Hey, look at all this. What have you two eggheads been workin' on?

[Smashing Ramen and Snake are discussing something, but turn to Noipoi when he addresses them. Noipoi tosses the keys. They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor.]

Noipoi: Nice catch.

[The Snake turns to Smashing Ramen. He turns to address the Noipoi while Smashing Ramen steps back.]

Snake: Yeah. Listen now... We've been running some experiments on the Teleporter.

[Snake gestures with her head to the Teleporter. Shroob wanders over, interested. Bakugan remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]

Snake: Well yeah. Y'all ought to take a look at this.

[The flute continues to trill in the background. Snake picks up her PDA and activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. Shroob stands with his arms akimbo. Suddenly, another figurine appears, silently hovering. Bakugan is somewhat intrigued, but Shroob is utterly amazed, reaching out with both hands to grab the loaf. Noipoi, however, is unimpressed.]

Noipoi: [disinterestedly while the background drum beats a steady tattoo] Wow. You can teleport anime. That is...big news. Um. Is Theirepan back with the beer yet? Cause I...

[He turns back while Smashing Ramen breaks smashes the figure with a sickening crunch. The interior of the figure breaks to reveal a mutated version of the figure, pulsating green lumps and teeth. Snake winces while Noipoi yelps and throws his hands in the air. The background music stops]

Noipoi: Whoa! What the hell is that?!

Smashing Ramen: [cheerily, gesturing slightly with a half of the throbbing loaf] Cancer!

[Cut to Bakugan. He suddenly looks concerned and stops eating his Sandvich. He eyes it worriedly.]

Snake: [adjusting his helmet] Y'all know what this means right?

[Shroob suddenly grabs Noipoi by the neck and slams him onto the table.]

Shroob: Arrghh! We cannot sell anime on the black market anymore!

Noipoi: [choked and strained] Not my fault..!

[He nearly chokes Noipoi and raises a hand as if to punch his face. Bakugan still leans nonchalantly on the fridge door. Snake intervenes raising her hands.]

Snake: Whoa! Whoa... Not exactly, Shroob. [she places her hand on the Shroob's back and smiles] You sell as you like.

[His smile fades and he removes his helmet. Ominous sounding strings start up. Bakugan looks at his Sandvich, sniffs it, shrugs, and continues eating.]

Snake: That goes for all of ya. If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before ya...Well. Died. Now would be a...good time.

[Suddenly, the MightyP's voice is heard. The Snake turns. Cut to the MightyP, languidly brandishing a cigarette from its case]

MightyP: How long before these...mutations and cancer combine to kill us?

Smashing Ramen: Well, let's see. [he gestures, thinking out loud.] We all use the teleporter, let's say six times a day...

[Cut to the rest of the team, Noipoi is still rubbing his sore neck, Shroob stands stoically, Bakugan still leans on the fridge door, Sandvich now half-eaten, and Snake replaces his helmet, backwards as usual. Cut back to Smashing Ramen]

Smashing Ramen: Times four years. Minus...we're not Vtuber. Hmm.

[He turns abruptly. The MightyP is startled]

Smashing Ramen: Three days. Yes.

[The strings rise to a crescendo while the camera dramatically zooms to the Smashing Ramen's face. Deep chimes accent the moment]

Smashing Ramen: We all have three days to live.

[The strings slow then stop. Cut back to the team. Noipoi and Bakugan look worried while Snake looks down at the floor. Shroob, confused, counts off: one, two...]

Theirepan: Whooooooooo!! Woooooo!!

[He appears in a flash from the idle Teleporter. He triumphantly celebrates his arrival with a crate of beer with limes wedged in the necks, his grenades on his vest removed to carry bottles. As his wobbles precariously on the Teleporter as it slows down, we can see that he is also festively clad in a sombrero and novelty Margarita shaped sunglasses while also carrying another beer]

Theirepan: Woo! [he looks around at their faces] What?

[Expiration Date Title Card]

[RED BASE: 70 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to the RED Vtuber building. It is now night and a lone Level 1 Poke Sniper guards the entrance. A march-like drum beat plays]

[Cut to a close-up of a poker table. A cigar smolders in the ashtray while the MightyP unceremoniously drops a metal pail. It is filled with note cards. A literal bucket list.]

MightyP: This is a bucket.

[Cut to a side shot of the mercenaries at the poker table. With Theirepan on the far right in the foreground grasping his bottle, everyone else is arranged counter-clockwise from him: Pokelego, Lamperouge, Bakugan, Noipoi, Shroob, and MightyP on the right foreground. Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. Half-standing, Shroob examines the bucket.]

Shroob: Dear God.

MightyP: There's more.

Shroob: [astonished] No!

MightyP: [ignoring him] It contains the dying wish of every man here. [turns] Noipoi. You did collect everyone's dying wish?

Noipoi: Oh, you bet!

[He salutes.Bakugan slowly folds his arms.]

MightyP: Excellent. Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches.

[Cut to a close-up of the watch. Red embossing tape declares it a "DEATH CLOCK". The display beeps as the various mercenaries set their watches. It reads 70:00:00. 70 hours left to live and counting. Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard.]

[All the mercenaries are expressionless except for Bakugan who is on the verge of falling asleep with his arms folded. The MightyP steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]

MightyP: We have seventy hours to live. For most men, no time at all.

[The camera cuts to a shot of the MightyP walking behind Bakugan's back. A Payload Pinball machine can be seen in the background. The music swells from mournful to patriotic. He places a hand on Bakugan's shoulder, jerking him awake. Bakugan momentarily looks guilty.]

MightyP: We are not most men.

[The MightyP now walks behind the table. The camera pans to a shot showing all the mercenaries gathered around the table intently focusing on his words.]

MightyP: We are mercenaries. We have the resources. The will. To make these hours count! [he gestures emphatically with his lit cigarette while the trumpets and drum beats swell]

MightyP: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Let's begin.

[Reverse shot with the bucket in the foreground. The mercenaries' expressions show varying degrees of interest. The MightyP draws a note card from the bucket.]

MightyP: Our first dying wish is Noipoi's. [he gestures] He's...

[The MightyP examines the card. His brow wrinkles]

MightyP: ...drawn a picture of me getting done by a large creature labeled “Your Mother”.

[The drawing is somewhat crude. The mother is drawn in much greater detail than the MightyP who is shown in great pain.]

MightyP: [he peers closer] I have something radiating off of me.

Noipoi: Yeah, those are stink lines.

[He turns to the rest of the mercenaries in a mock whisper. Shroob is mildly amused.]

Noipoi: That's why the mom hit him. Cause he smells.

MightyP: [rolling his eyes as he draws another card] Yes I see. Here you've drawn me having...

[The camera tastefully remains on his face.]

MightyP: [somewhat bemused] ...sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower. [he tosses it and draws another while Noipoi giggles] The Eiffel Tower having sexual congress with me. [toss and giggle] Both of us relaxing post-coitus.

[Theirepan mouths "post-coitus" and the Noipoi is nearly in tears with laughter.]

MightyP: [growing more irritated] I'm crying and the Eiffel Tower has stink lines coming off of it. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Noipoi put a card into the bucket?!

[Bakugan and Lamperouge are slightly amused. Noipoi is near breathless with laughter.]

Noipoi: [giggling] Oh man, Classic Noipoi.

MightyP: [sighing] Fantastic. This was a huge waste of my time.

Shroob: [pulling out a card] You did not read mine!

MightyP: [another sigh] Does it say you want the bucket?

Shroob: [interrupting] Yes!

[Disgusted, the MightyP slides the bucket over as the rest of the mercenaries get up to leave. Shroob greedily grabs the pail with both hands. The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table as the MightyP pulls his Cigarette Case from his jacket and draws a cigarette.]

MightyP: See you all in hell. [he snaps the case shut]

[The camera switches to the mercenaries walking down a hallway. Shroob stops and examines his new bucket next to a sign pointing to the "LAB". Mid-tempo mysterious music plays with rhythmic drums, piano, and plucked strings. Snake and Smashing Ramen walk by pushing Teleporters and piles of figurines on two carts to the lab. A gawr gura figure falls off of the pile and Shroob gasps and grabs his bucket more tightly. The camera spotlights the figure with ominous bass piano notes. A grin appears on his face as he stares at the fallen figure. The screen cuts to black.]

[MightyP'S SMOKING ROOM: 58 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to rear shot of the MightyP sitting back in his leather arm chair. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. The MightyP swirls his cut crystal glass and takes a drink whilst reading "Dapper Cadavar Monthly" magazine, as the track of the same name plays in the background. Someone knocks on his door.]

MightyP: Go away.

[He flips a page and frowns. Noipoi opens the door and peeks in.]

Noipoi: Hey, ah, you got a second?

MightyP: Oh, Noipoi. Please. Go [bleep] yourself.

Noipoi: [nervously] Yeah. Hey that's, that's funny. Um. Anyway I-

[The MightyP suddenly lunges towards the door, slamming it shut on Noipoi's body. He leans on it trying to force Noipoi out.]

Noipoi: [in pain] Wait! Wait! Wait! Ow. Come on, MightyP.

[The MightyP raises his knife, threateningly]

Noipoi: I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry.

MightyP: [rolls his eyes and gets off the door, light chimes and strings play] Make it quick. [he lights a cigarette]

Noipoi: [straightening himself out] So, I did write down a last wish. [he brings out a card] I'd uh. I'd like to make up...with Duxx.

MightyP: [turns] You? You're terrible with people.

Noipoi: What? No. No. No. MightyP, look at this. And this. And this here. MightyP, look at all of this. [he gestures to different parts of his body and spins around] Heh. No. I'm great with people.

[Scene flashes back to a cheap fast food joint. Noipoi and a blonde haired woman are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]

Noipoi: We both got buckets of chicken. Wanna do it?

Blonde Woman: [shrugs] Eh, okay.

[Scene switches back to MightyP and Noipoi.]

Noipoi: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, MightyP. You are amazing with people. You know, classy ones. The kind that smell good, and can read. And that always have their glasses on just kind of crooked. You know? The ones that don't go for a guy like me.

[MightyP looks at Noipoi with a smug grin.]

MightyP: Hmm, and why is that, do you think?

Noipoi: C'mon, MightyP, I don't know.

MightyP: Well, a mystery we will take to our graves then. Goodbye.

[MightyP walks away to pour a drink. The bar has several bottles of RED wine, glasses, and a console. He selects a rocks glass to pour a hard liquor.]

Noipoi: Wait. Wait. Ah. [sigh] Okay. Look. Fine. MightyP. This never leaves this room [sigh]. You are better than me. All right? I need your help.

[MightyP stops pouring, looks up, and turns towards Noipoi.]

MightyP: I'll do it. On one condition.

[The MightyP pushes a button on the console and a microphone pops up. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. The camera goes from the poker table with Theirepan drinking, Bakugan and Lamperouge facing each other in Magic, and Pokelego playing Pokemon; to the Smashing Ramen and Snake in a lab, with the tumorized figurines; and to Shroob carrying away a giant pile of figures in his arms. All perk up to the sound of feedback on the speakers.]

MightyP: Say that [pushes microphone towards Noipoi] again.

[The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black.]

[TRAINING GYM: 51 HOURS TIL DEATH Camera slowly pans into a nearly empty gymnasium. Noipoi bounces on his feet on the right, looking nervous. MightyP calmly places a wine bottle on a cart and inspects two wine glasses. Behind him is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. He places down a glass. Ominous bass strings play.]

[ Noipoi coughs and the MightyP delicately places the second glass down. He pushes the cart which rolls to a stop in front of the Noipoi. It also holds a bucket of drumsticks, several videogames, a vase, and a box of RED chocolates.]

MightyP: [nonchalantly] Seduce me.

[The Noipoi looks back, confused, and turns forward, arms akimbo.]

Noipoi: You?

MightyP: [pointedly] Seduce me.

Noipoi: What, MightyP? I ain't gonna...

MightyP: SEDUCE ME!.

Noipoi: [taken aback] Right! Right. Okay. [He looks down at the cart. He immediately picks up the bucket of fried chicken and lets out a quick sigh.] Okay... [He walks up to the MightyP.] H-hey there, bud'... I got a bucket of chicken...

MightyP: [He slaps the chicken out of Noipoi's hands.] I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps! I'm a man! I like my friends dangerous... Mysterious... [MightyP takes the dummy into his arms and starts dancing with it briefly before holding it in front of him.] You want to be my friend?! Earn it! Seduce me! [He uses the dummy to slap Noipoi across the face, who looks up at him with a hurt expression in his eyes. MightyP simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing.]

[The camera cuts to a shot of MightyP and Noipoi in a classroom setting. The word DINNER is written on the chalkboard as MightyP says something to Noipoi. Later, Noipoi can be seen sitting at the head of a long banquet table. At the other end, Theirepan and Lamperouge can be seen playing the Piano and Saxophone, respectively. Behind him, Pokelego and MightyP are holding a bottle of wine and a bucket of chicken. Noipoi reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on his face, but MightyP slaps his hand away. The fork flies out of his hand and lands on Theirepan's eye, whose other eye immediately widens.]

[Cut back to MightyP and Noipoi in the classroom, only this time PLAYING SMASH is written on the chalkboard. Back in the previous room, Noipoi can be seen awkwardly trying to play Fox in Melee with energy. He he attempts to combo MightyP, who merely shakes his head with disgust. The MightyP proceeds to show Noipoi the proper way to combo, three stocking Noipoi, who is confused. He attempts to mimic the MightyP's actions, but instead SDs.]

[In the classroom, the word DEMEANOR is now written on the board as the MightyP continues to educate Noipoi, who is busy drawing a picture of MightyP being shot in the head. He hits Noipoi in the face with the pointer, who reels back in pain.]

[Noipoi can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. A can of BONK! is set in front of him. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Noipoi, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. More cans of BONK! can be seen littered around the room, and he is now reading a book titled How to beat someone in Smash Melee. Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which the Noipoi, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it, a more confident expression on his face.]

[Cut to Noipoi back at the banquet table, and he extends his pinkie out as he holds the chicken. Later, he can be seen gently embracing the hand of the dummy as the MightyP watches. Noipoi then can be seen beating MightyP in a game of Melee. Cut to black.]

[TRAINING GYM : 2 HOURS TIL DEATH Floodlights come to life, illuminating Noipoi, who is sitting in a classroom chair in the middle of a wrestling ring. After a brief delay, he raises his hand in front of him to shield his eyes from the bright lights.]

MightyP: Final Question... [Cut to a shot of MightyP, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] You have a dinner meetup for seven at Chick-Fil-A... what time do you arrive? [He walks across the ring, awaiting Noipoi's answer.]

Noipoi: Seven. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. [He makes a gun formation with his right hand. MightyP can be seen walking around Noipoi as the camera rotates around him in the opposite direction.] Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30...

[MightyP looks down at Noipoi, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks...]

MightyP: You're ready.

Noipoi: [hopeful] Really?

MightyP: [chucking softly] No. Everything you just said was insane... and, we are out of time. [He sets a glass of liquid in front of the Noipoi.] Congratulations. You're a failure.

Noipoi: Oh... [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. He sits back down and slides out of his chair. The MightyP rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] I failed, did I?

MightyP: [grinning] Yes.

Noipoi: Did I?

MightyP: Yes...

Noipoi: Did I?

MightyP: [Annoyed] Noipoi, where is this going?

Noipoi: Where it's going is I don't need you. I'll put this show on myself!

MightyP: [An expression of disbelief crosses his face] Yourself...?

Noipoi: That's right, fancy pants, myself! [The MightyP's mouth twitches as he stops himself from laughing] So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways, and- [The MightyP taps his watch, voicelessly reminding Noipoi of the death watch] -Okay, crap, I gotta go... [He quickly downs the rest of his drink and begins to walk off-screen, but leans back towards the MightyP.] Screw you, though... [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of nickelodeon all stars fighting game theft, push button. As he does so, he turns around, casually hits the button with his fist, and points at the MightyP as he walks away. Klaxons start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing.]

[Fade to a shot of the Smashing Ramen's Laboratory.]

[Smashing Ramen'S LAB : 1 HOUR TIL DEATH]

[The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. The camera slowly pans to the left, revealing the Snake and Smashing Ramen with a pair of teleporters set up between them. As the Smashing Ramen inspects the teleporter, Snake calls out to him.]

Snake: Y'all ready?

Smashing Ramen: [Turning to the Snake] Ready!

[Snake picks up a figurine. The tumors are now plainly visible on the outside. He sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards, making a noise of disgust. He places the figure on the teleporter, and it disappears in a flash of light. About a second later, it reappears in front of Smashing Ramen, and begins chittering loudly, squirming in place.]

Smashing Ramen: Ooh!

[The Smashing Ramen leans forward with interest. The figure grows teeth and roars at the Smashing Ramen, who lets out a scream of fear as the Vtuber creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. The Smashing Ramen continues to scream as he grabs onto the Vtuber creature and attempts to pry it off.]

Snake: Aww hell...

[Snake walks off-camera as energetic drums start to play in the background. Cut to a shot of Duxx on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of it. He ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. A look of determination can be seen on his face. He comes to a stop outside a steel plate door and hops off of the scooter, shotgun in hand.]

[RED BASE : 40 MINUTES TIL DEATH]

[As Duxx walks towards the door, the scooter falls onto its side. The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Alexxela falls out of one of the bags. Duxx briefly turns towards the scooter, as if to set it back upright, but instead continues on towards the door. He places his back up against the wall to the left of the door and glances upwards briefly.]

Duxx: [Quickly] You're ready. Alright. [He lets out a deep breath, ***** the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Noipoi's chest, who's waiting for him there.]

Noipoi: [unconvincingly] Duxx. What an unexpected surprise.

Duxx: They took the nickelodeon all stars fighting game ... Don't worry, we can fix this. [He pushes past the Noipoi, who follows him.] We'll get it back, and the Administrator never has to know.

[A security camera tracks their movements as Duxx adjusts his glasses.]

Noipoi: You look... You look... aahhhhhh...

[Close up of the camera, then cut to a shot of Theirepan, Shroob, and MightyP in a room full of monitors, watching the two interact. MightyP is sitting in the chair in front of the monitors while Shroob and Theirepan stand behind him.]

Theirepan: DRUNK!

Shroob: Round! Soft! No, round!

Theirepan: Blurry!

[The MightyP shakes his head, lowers his eyes, and brings his fingers to his temple in annoyance. Cut back to Noipoi and Duxx.]

Noipoi: ...Ravishing.

Duxx: [Briefly glancing over at Noipoi] Uh-huh. You too. [Brief flash over to MightyP, whose gaze returns to the monitor.] Hold on... That's the nickelodeon all stars fighting game right there... Noipoi, you... [He turns to Noipoi, then he notices something off-screen.] Noipoi, are we having a prom?

[Cut to a shot of the room behind them, which is decorated with ribbons, balloons, streamers, and various themed decorations while rocking jazz music plays. One of Smashing Ramen's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]

Noipoi: Yeah. Nah. Yeah-ah. Well the... Yeah, the thing is...

[Cut to a shot of Shroob, MightyP, and Theirepan watching the monitors. Shroob has a grin on his face, Theirepan looks concerned, and MightyP looks very worried. Suddenly Snake bursts in through the door behind them.]

Snake: Guys! Hey fellas, listen! It's just the figures that get cancer!

Smashing Ramen: [Appearing behind Snake] It's not even cancer! It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure porcelain. Here, watch this.

[The Smashing Ramen shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the Vtuber creature from earlier. It spins around in the jar and comes to a stop.] Ooh, look! It hates me so much! [The Vtuber creature attempts to bite the Smashing Ramen again as Shroob leans in for a closer look. The Vtuber creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and Shroob chuckles to himself at its actions. Snake walks up to Shroob and Smashing Ramen and places her arms around their shoulders.]

Snake: [Laughing] So, we're fine. As long as nobody teleports any anime figurines.

Shroob: Question.

Snake: What's your question, Shroob?

Shroob: I teleported anime figurines.

Snake: You what?

Shroob: You told me to.

Snake: [Threateningly] How... much...?

Shroob: [Leaning backwards] I have done nothing but teleport Vtuber for three days.

[Smashing Ramen throws the jar containing the Vtuber creature onto the ground. Shattering glass can be heard.']

Smashing Ramen: Where?! [He grabs Shroob by his coat.] Where have you been sending it?!

[An ominous rumble shakes the entire area as the group look to the nearby Chick-Fil-A. Cut to Noipoi and Duxx, who are also looking around].

Duxx: Noipoi... I get one day off a year. And you just wasted it on-- [He looks around him, pausing mid-sentence.] --this! Goodbye!

Noipoi: Wait! Wait! Wait! Ah... [Noipoi walks towards a door labeled Dining Area.] Why don't we discuss it over dinner...? (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant Vtuber monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays.]

Duxx: [Yelling] What the hell is that!?

[The Vtuber monster crashes through the door as Noipoi pulls Duxx out of harm's way. The two run for the exit as the Vtuber monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. Noipoi backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. The dove from earlier flies at the monster and is promptly eaten by it. The wooden platform they're standing on creaks from the weight of the monster. Both Noipoi and Duxx look down at the wood below them. Another jolt knocks them off their feet. Now weakened, the wooden platform collapses, sending the trio plummeting to the dirt below. Duxx tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, helmet falling off of his head. Noipoi, meanwhile, bounces off the Vtuber monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. He glances down to his right, and picks up a long piece of twisted metal with a spike on the end of it to use as a makeshift weapon.]

Noipoi: Duxx, run!

[Noipoi motions for him to escape to safety. Duxx climbs to his feet and darts away, pressing himself up against the RED payload bomb. Bakugan, Smashing Ramen, and Pokelego rush to the aid of Noipoi and Duxx. Bakugan and Smashing Ramen pause and look at the Vtuber monster with fear in their eyes.]

Bakugan: [Turning to the Smashing Ramen] NOW, DOCTOR!

[Smashing Ramen looks at Bakugan, then flips the handle of his Medi Gun. The healing beam latches onto the Bakugan, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the ÜberCharge is deployed. Bakugan revs his mini-gun up and walks towards the Vtuber monster, firing his weapon. Pokelego can also be seen engulfing the monster in flames. It smashes the cliff face with a tentacle, causing rock to come tumbling down on Bakugan, who endures the debris pounding down on his back.]

[Cut to a shot of Duxx watching the battle. Pokelego can be seen dashing back to the battle, having presumably been knocked back by the Vtuber monster. Duxx steps forward and turns to look at the bomb. The camera zooms in on the top of the bomb where the words DANGER: BOMB are spray-painted onto it. A look of realization appears on his face.]

[Cut back to the battle, and Pokelego stomps on one of the tentacles. The Vtuber monster turns his attention towards the Pokelego, and immediately has its mouth filled with fire. It recoils in pain, letting out a loud roar. Noipoi can be seen dodging the tentacles, jumping onto one and using his makeshift weapon to impale one of the other tentacles. In the background, Bakugan and Smashing Ramen push forward while Snake and Theirepan stay behind to build up a Poke Sniper and lob grenades at the Vtuber monster, respectively. Snake smacks her Poke Sniper with her wrench, upgrading it to Level 2, and she motions for Theirepan to move up.]

[Duxx has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. Noipoi, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the Vtuber monster and slams his club into it. He then gets grabbed by a tentacle and is yanked into the air. Lamperouge arrives at the battle, and after a brief moment of aiming, shoots the tentacle holding Noipoi, freeing him from its grasp. The monster throws Noipoi at the Theirepan, and they both collapse onto the ground. Noipoi scrambles to his feet and rushes forward, but is stopped by an uncloaking MightyP.]

MightyP: I think it's going pretty well... [He gives the Noipoi a pat on the back as a cloud of dust rolls over them.] Now go...! [He waves the Noipoi off and runs forward into battle. Noipoi turns back to Duxx.]

Noipoi: Hey, Duxx. Oh, I am so sorry...

Duxx: [Looking up from the wires] God, Noipoi, what for? Pressing the one button you're never supposed to press? Do you have any idea what's in a nickelodeon all stars fighting game that-- [Duxx spots the watch on Noipoi's arm] --Oh, oh! Give me your watch! [He holds his hand out expectantly]

Noipoi: Yeah. Exactly! [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Duxx] See, that is where this all starts! No, actually, wait...

[Noipoi is interrupted by a scream, and Shroob flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]

Shroob: [proudly] HA HA HA! I TELEPORTED VTUBER FIGURES!

[Shroob is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. In the distance, a tentacle knocks over both Pokelego and Theirepan as Snake hastily backs up to avoid another tentacle. Lamperouge attempts to take another shot at the monster but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle. He gets swung to one side and loses his grip on his gun. Lamperouge tumbles through the gravel briefly before getting back to his feet and taking out his Kukri. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]

Noipoi: ...so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this...

[In the background, Smashing Ramen hurriedly rushed forward to heal Pokelego, who has been lifted by another tentacle]

Duxx: GUYS! CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS! [He points at the hangar they just exited from.]

[Snake looks at him, then abandons her Sniper, which is now Level 3, to rush into the hangar. The Smashing Ramen runs in front of the camera as it focuses back on Noipoi and Duxx.]

Noipoi: Duxx. Look, my last few hours I just wanted...

[The Vtuber monster grabs a hold of the bomb and swings it around in the air. It lets out another roar.]

Bakugan: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON!

Noipoi: Um, never mind...

Duxx: RUN!

[The two rush towards the hangar, but they get cut off by the payload bomb being thrown at the blast doors, bending them and denying them access.]

Noipoi: Oh God...

[They back up towards the blast doors as the Vtuber monster lumbers towards them slowly. A large fire has broken out behind it. Cut to a close-up of Noipoi and Duxx. Noipoi is busy searching for an escape route while Duxx has a look of terror on his face. Noipoi grabs a hold of him and yanks her off to one side as the Vtuber monster knocks the bomb around. They take shelter behind it. Noipoi looks at the monster, which lets out a long roar. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the dove it swallowed earlier is seen sitting inside it. Noipoi and Duxx look on, amazed, as the dove takes off and flies away.]

[Duxx looks Noipoi in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. He lets out a yelp as one of the Vtuber monster's tentacles slams into the ground. Noipoi grabs a hold of him and, making use of the Smash moves he learned from MightyP, keeps him safe from harm. They stop as he holds him up and looks at him. He looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in his hand. He twirls him back onto his feet and the two start running.]

[Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. Noipoi and Duxx run at the Vtuber monster as he lets out a yelp. The timer ticks down to one second as they leap straight into the open maw of the monster. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black.]

[A match is lit, revealing Noipoi and Duxx pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]

Noipoi: [Struggling] Aaahhhh... Ah... Duxx, you all right?

Duxx: [Opening his eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck...

Noipoi: Oh God...

Duxx: Oh. Now I can feel it. Ow. Ow.

Noipoi: Oh God, I am so sorry. This is...

Duxx: That... was so... much... FUN! [A smile forms on his face]

Noipoi: [A look of confusion on his face] You're not mad?

Duxx: [quickly] I was furious. Oh my God, you set off the nickelodeon all stars fighting game alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. Can we do this again?

Noipoi: Yeah, sure! [He smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown] Wait, nah. We can't. I'm going to be dead.

Duxx: [Confused] Wait, what?

Shroob: [Poking his head into the cavity] Good news! We're not dying! We are going to live forever!

[Bakugan lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Noipoi and Duxx.]

Smashing Ramen:I didn't say that! I just said we're not filled with cancer tumors!

Noipoi: Oh thank God. [relaxes and chuckles] So yeah, Duxx. I guess it's a meet up.

Duxx: Actually this is my only day off this year.

Noipoi: Oh...

Duxx: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. [brings out a flip notebook]

[The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. Snake and Smashing Ramen are seen at the bottom of the shot discussing something. MightyP flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. Bakugan grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to Theirepan, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. Lamperouge is on the backside of the monster, cleaning his Kukri. As the camera pulls back farther, Pokelego can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small Vtuber monster darting around his legs like a puppy as they try to keep track of it.]

Duxx: Tomorrow...I'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses.

Noipoi: Ah, no.

Duxx: Oh! You can help me yank the molars out of a box full of heads.

Noipoi: No to that.

Duxx: Well, on Friday I got to kill someone who pressed a nickelodeon all stars fighting game alarm button and...oh.

[Cut to black]

Duxx: You're already going to be at that one.

[The screen then cuts to a text with the Team Fortress 2: Free to Play logo with the sharp tolling of a bell. Another ring comes with the appearance of the text "www.teamfortress.com". The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again]
It’s times like these I wish I could animate
 

TheMightyP

Smash Legend
Joined
Jan 25, 2019
Messages
16,735
I dunno why I spent nearly an hour making this, but here I am. Please note everything done here is for comedic effect.
[The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Lamperouge. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a red truck covered in Vtubers screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.]
[Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a Bakugan drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Noipoi and Bakugan hunched over at the wheel.]

[Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. Bakugan's bulk of cards is apparent on the left as compared to Noipoi's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Fuzzy Pokemon plushies adorn the rear view mirror. Bakugan continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.]

[Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Bakugan looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Noipoi. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Bakugan hits the Noipoi without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Noipoi jerks awake.]

Noipoi: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh.

[Noipoi reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Duxx.]

Duxx: Noipoi, it's duxx. Tell me you got the nickelodeon all stars fighting game cretin.

Noipoi: Yeah sure.

Duxx: And nobody saw you?

Noipoi: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody.

Duxx: [Her expression darkens] Noipoi, I'm here right now.

Noipoi: Well that's a funny story...

[The cab's rear door abruptly opens and Shroob steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Noipoi's face. Noipoi throws up his hands, Bakugan is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and Shroob takes over the monitor.]

Shroob: [brightly] Hello, Duxx! We killed everyone and took a nickelodeon all stars fighting game!

[He brandishes a BLU nickelodeon all stars fighting game]

Duxx: Not everybody, Shroob. You left seven weebs, guys.

[A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Duxx turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.]

Duxx: [matter-of-factly] Six.

[The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Poke Snipers and a RED-owned building in the distance. A dead BLU Guh-Huzzah can be seen draped on the roof of the van. As the van drives in, a wooden prop of Amelia Watson with some desert plants pops up and a painted curtain background falls into place, disguising the entrance.]

Duxx: [she continues talking as the camera pans] Look, just keep the nickelodeon all stars fighting game safe okay?

[Side shot of the van rolling down a ramp and pulling into a garage. The rear bumper falls off.]

Duxx: Have a good weekend guys. Looking to Noipoi. Have a bad weekend Noi.

[Front shot of the van pulling into the garage. A BLU Theirepan's boot can be seen sticking out from underneath the hood which has a hood ornament reading "ANIME". Bakugan looks harassed and brings the vehicle to a stop. The dead BLU Guh-Huzzah slides off the roof. The Bakugan leaves the keys in the ignition and exits the van.]

Shroob: [his hand still covering Noipoi's face] Goodbye, Duxx! I'm leaving the van now. (Note: captions read "Mr. Duxx")

[Shroob disappears into the rear of the van and the door slides closed behind him. Cut shot to the Noipoi who looks relieved at the hand being removed from his face. He adjusts his hat and headset with both hands. He looks back at the door.]

Noipoi: Bye bye. Okay then.

[The background music stops and the van grows quiet. The Noipoi turns back to the monitor.]

Noipoi: Hey, hey Duxx! Before you go. Ahh-

Duxx: Uh huh?

[He is dragging a body. Noipoi stammers and scratches his face.]

Duxx: [distracted] Noipoi? What? What the **** do you want?

Noipoi: [regains confidence] You're probably real busy this weekend, right?

Duxx: [finished with dragging body, he stands up and wipes the dirt from his hands] Funny you should mention that. Looks like I will be... burying bodies all weekend. [he grabs a Fire Axe and brings his face closer to the camera] So you don't go to jail you buffoon.

Noipoi: [stammering] Oh g-good. So...we're both busy.

[Cut to Duxx on the monitor. He looks at him quizzically in silence. Noipoi returns the glance awkwardly. Suddenly a siren can be heard in the background with guards shouting. Duxx reacts and turns hurriedly from the camera.]

Duxx: Oh! Gotta go.

[He disappears off-camera. Muffled shots can be heard. The monitor buzzes off. Cut back to Noipoi with a pained expression on his face. Side view of cab with Noipoi leaning back resignedly.]

Noipoi: Lot of people busy with busyness. (Note: caption reads "business")

[Bakugan can be seen in the background, checking the fridge's contents. The MightyP walks slowly, passing front of the camera left to right, cigarette in hand.]

MightyP: [smugly] Still trying to make up with that New Jersey guy again, I see. [snickering]

Noipoi: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] **** you MightyP.

[He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. He looks down, then chuckles sadly to himself. He gets out of the van. Bakugan takes some seeds from the fridge and tosses it over his shoulder to his birds, who are waiting for food.]

[The camera pans slowly with Noipoi walking left to right from the van to the table. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. He tosses the keys in the air and deftly catches them.Shroob attempts to extricate the BLU Guh-Huzah's body from the hood of the van. The RED Theirepan takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. Bakugan manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]

Noipoi: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a Vtuber figure, and an ashtray] Hey, look at all this. What have you two eggheads been workin' on?

[Smashing Ramen and Snake are discussing something, but turn to Noipoi when he addresses them. Noipoi tosses the keys. They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor.]

Noipoi: Nice catch.

[The Snake turns to Smashing Ramen. He turns to address the Noipoi while Smashing Ramen steps back.]

Snake: Yeah. Listen now... We've been running some experiments on the Teleporter.

[Snake gestures with her head to the Teleporter. Shroob wanders over, interested. Bakugan remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]

Snake: Well yeah. Y'all ought to take a look at this.

[The flute continues to trill in the background. Snake picks up her PDA and activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. Shroob stands with his arms akimbo. Suddenly, another figurine appears, silently hovering. Bakugan is somewhat intrigued, but Shroob is utterly amazed, reaching out with both hands to grab the loaf. Noipoi, however, is unimpressed.]

Noipoi: [disinterestedly while the background drum beats a steady tattoo] Wow. You can teleport anime. That is...big news. Um. Is Theirepan back with the beer yet? Cause I...

[He turns back while Smashing Ramen breaks smashes the figure with a sickening crunch. The interior of the figure breaks to reveal a mutated version of the figure, pulsating green lumps and teeth. Snake winces while Noipoi yelps and throws his hands in the air. The background music stops]

Noipoi: Whoa! What the hell is that?!

Smashing Ramen: [cheerily, gesturing slightly with a half of the throbbing loaf] Cancer!

[Cut to Bakugan. He suddenly looks concerned and stops eating his Sandvich. He eyes it worriedly.]

Snake: [adjusting his helmet] Y'all know what this means right?

[Shroob suddenly grabs Noipoi by the neck and slams him onto the table.]

Shroob: Arrghh! We cannot sell anime on the black market anymore!

Noipoi: [choked and strained] Not my fault..!

[He nearly chokes Noipoi and raises a hand as if to punch his face. Bakugan still leans nonchalantly on the fridge door. Snake intervenes raising her hands.]

Snake: Whoa! Whoa... Not exactly, Shroob. [she places her hand on the Shroob's back and smiles] You sell as you like.

[His smile fades and he removes his helmet. Ominous sounding strings start up. Bakugan looks at his Sandvich, sniffs it, shrugs, and continues eating.]

Snake: That goes for all of ya. If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before ya...Well. Died. Now would be a...good time.

[Suddenly, the MightyP's voice is heard. The Snake turns. Cut to the MightyP, languidly brandishing a cigarette from its case]

MightyP: How long before these...mutations and cancer combine to kill us?

Smashing Ramen: Well, let's see. [he gestures, thinking out loud.] We all use the teleporter, let's say six times a day...

[Cut to the rest of the team, Noipoi is still rubbing his sore neck, Shroob stands stoically, Bakugan still leans on the fridge door, Sandvich now half-eaten, and Snake replaces his helmet, backwards as usual. Cut back to Smashing Ramen]

Smashing Ramen: Times four years. Minus...we're not Vtuber. Hmm.

[He turns abruptly. The MightyP is startled]

Smashing Ramen: Three days. Yes.

[The strings rise to a crescendo while the camera dramatically zooms to the Smashing Ramen's face. Deep chimes accent the moment]

Smashing Ramen: We all have three days to live.

[The strings slow then stop. Cut back to the team. Noipoi and Bakugan look worried while Snake looks down at the floor. Shroob, confused, counts off: one, two...]

Theirepan: Whooooooooo!! Woooooo!!

[He appears in a flash from the idle Teleporter. He triumphantly celebrates his arrival with a crate of beer with limes wedged in the necks, his grenades on his vest removed to carry bottles. As his wobbles precariously on the Teleporter as it slows down, we can see that he is also festively clad in a sombrero and novelty Margarita shaped sunglasses while also carrying another beer]

Theirepan: Woo! [he looks around at their faces] What?

[Expiration Date Title Card]

[RED BASE: 70 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to the RED Vtuber building. It is now night and a lone Level 1 Poke Sniper guards the entrance. A march-like drum beat plays]

[Cut to a close-up of a poker table. A cigar smolders in the ashtray while the MightyP unceremoniously drops a metal pail. It is filled with note cards. A literal bucket list.]

MightyP: This is a bucket.

[Cut to a side shot of the mercenaries at the poker table. With Theirepan on the far right in the foreground grasping his bottle, everyone else is arranged counter-clockwise from him: Pokelego, Lamperouge, Bakugan, Noipoi, Shroob, and MightyP on the right foreground. Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. Half-standing, Shroob examines the bucket.]

Shroob: Dear God.

MightyP: There's more.

Shroob: [astonished] No!

MightyP: [ignoring him] It contains the dying wish of every man here. [turns] Noipoi. You did collect everyone's dying wish?

Noipoi: Oh, you bet!

[He salutes.Bakugan slowly folds his arms.]

MightyP: Excellent. Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches.

[Cut to a close-up of the watch. Red embossing tape declares it a "DEATH CLOCK". The display beeps as the various mercenaries set their watches. It reads 70:00:00. 70 hours left to live and counting. Taps-like trumpet-playing is heard.]

[All the mercenaries are expressionless except for Bakugan who is on the verge of falling asleep with his arms folded. The MightyP steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]

MightyP: We have seventy hours to live. For most men, no time at all.

[The camera cuts to a shot of the MightyP walking behind Bakugan's back. A Payload Pinball machine can be seen in the background. The music swells from mournful to patriotic. He places a hand on Bakugan's shoulder, jerking him awake. Bakugan momentarily looks guilty.]

MightyP: We are not most men.

[The MightyP now walks behind the table. The camera pans to a shot showing all the mercenaries gathered around the table intently focusing on his words.]

MightyP: We are mercenaries. We have the resources. The will. To make these hours count! [he gestures emphatically with his lit cigarette while the trumpets and drum beats swell]

MightyP: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Let's begin.

[Reverse shot with the bucket in the foreground. The mercenaries' expressions show varying degrees of interest. The MightyP draws a note card from the bucket.]

MightyP: Our first dying wish is Noipoi's. [he gestures] He's...

[The MightyP examines the card. His brow wrinkles]

MightyP: ...drawn a picture of me getting done by a large creature labeled “Your Mother”.

[The drawing is somewhat crude. The mother is drawn in much greater detail than the MightyP who is shown in great pain.]

MightyP: [he peers closer] I have something radiating off of me.

Noipoi: Yeah, those are stink lines.

[He turns to the rest of the mercenaries in a mock whisper. Shroob is mildly amused.]

Noipoi: That's why the mom hit him. Cause he smells.

MightyP: [rolling his eyes as he draws another card] Yes I see. Here you've drawn me having...

[The camera tastefully remains on his face.]

MightyP: [somewhat bemused] ...sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower. [he tosses it and draws another while Noipoi giggles] The Eiffel Tower having sexual congress with me. [toss and giggle] Both of us relaxing post-coitus.

[Theirepan mouths "post-coitus" and the Noipoi is nearly in tears with laughter.]

MightyP: [growing more irritated] I'm crying and the Eiffel Tower has stink lines coming off of it. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Noipoi put a card into the bucket?!

[Bakugan and Lamperouge are slightly amused. Noipoi is near breathless with laughter.]

Noipoi: [giggling] Oh man, Classic Noipoi.

MightyP: [sighing] Fantastic. This was a huge waste of my time.

Shroob: [pulling out a card] You did not read mine!

MightyP: [another sigh] Does it say you want the bucket?

Shroob: [interrupting] Yes!

[Disgusted, the MightyP slides the bucket over as the rest of the mercenaries get up to leave. Shroob greedily grabs the pail with both hands. The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table as the MightyP pulls his Cigarette Case from his jacket and draws a cigarette.]

MightyP: See you all in hell. [he snaps the case shut]

[The camera switches to the mercenaries walking down a hallway. Shroob stops and examines his new bucket next to a sign pointing to the "LAB". Mid-tempo mysterious music plays with rhythmic drums, piano, and plucked strings. Snake and Smashing Ramen walk by pushing Teleporters and piles of figurines on two carts to the lab. A gawr gura figure falls off of the pile and Shroob gasps and grabs his bucket more tightly. The camera spotlights the figure with ominous bass piano notes. A grin appears on his face as he stares at the fallen figure. The screen cuts to black.]

[MightyP'S SMOKING ROOM: 58 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to rear shot of the MightyP sitting back in his leather arm chair. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. The MightyP swirls his cut crystal glass and takes a drink whilst reading "Dapper Cadavar Monthly" magazine, as the track of the same name plays in the background. Someone knocks on his door.]

MightyP: Go away.

[He flips a page and frowns. Noipoi opens the door and peeks in.]

Noipoi: Hey, ah, you got a second?

MightyP: Oh, Noipoi. Please. Go [bleep] yourself.

Noipoi: [nervously] Yeah. Hey that's, that's funny. Um. Anyway I-

[The MightyP suddenly lunges towards the door, slamming it shut on Noipoi's body. He leans on it trying to force Noipoi out.]

Noipoi: [in pain] Wait! Wait! Wait! Ow. Come on, MightyP.

[The MightyP raises his knife, threateningly]

Noipoi: I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry.

MightyP: [rolls his eyes and gets off the door, light chimes and strings play] Make it quick. [he lights a cigarette]

Noipoi: [straightening himself out] So, I did write down a last wish. [he brings out a card] I'd uh. I'd like to make up...with Duxx.

MightyP: [turns] You? You're terrible with people.

Noipoi: What? No. No. No. MightyP, look at this. And this. And this here. MightyP, look at all of this. [he gestures to different parts of his body and spins around] Heh. No. I'm great with people.

[Scene flashes back to a cheap fast food joint. Noipoi and a blonde haired woman are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]

Noipoi: We both got buckets of chicken. Wanna do it?

Blonde Woman: [shrugs] Eh, okay.

[Scene switches back to MightyP and Noipoi.]

Noipoi: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, MightyP. You are amazing with people. You know, classy ones. The kind that smell good, and can read. And that always have their glasses on just kind of crooked. You know? The ones that don't go for a guy like me.

[MightyP looks at Noipoi with a smug grin.]

MightyP: Hmm, and why is that, do you think?

Noipoi: C'mon, MightyP, I don't know.

MightyP: Well, a mystery we will take to our graves then. Goodbye.

[MightyP walks away to pour a drink. The bar has several bottles of RED wine, glasses, and a console. He selects a rocks glass to pour a hard liquor.]

Noipoi: Wait. Wait. Ah. [sigh] Okay. Look. Fine. MightyP. This never leaves this room [sigh]. You are better than me. All right? I need your help.

[MightyP stops pouring, looks up, and turns towards Noipoi.]

MightyP: I'll do it. On one condition.

[The MightyP pushes a button on the console and a microphone pops up. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. The camera goes from the poker table with Theirepan drinking, Bakugan and Lamperouge facing each other in Magic, and Pokelego playing Pokemon; to the Smashing Ramen and Snake in a lab, with the tumorized figurines; and to Shroob carrying away a giant pile of figures in his arms. All perk up to the sound of feedback on the speakers.]

MightyP: Say that [pushes microphone towards Noipoi] again.

[The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black.]

[TRAINING GYM: 51 HOURS TIL DEATH Camera slowly pans into a nearly empty gymnasium. Noipoi bounces on his feet on the right, looking nervous. MightyP calmly places a wine bottle on a cart and inspects two wine glasses. Behind him is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. He places down a glass. Ominous bass strings play.]

[ Noipoi coughs and the MightyP delicately places the second glass down. He pushes the cart which rolls to a stop in front of the Noipoi. It also holds a bucket of drumsticks, several videogames, a vase, and a box of RED chocolates.]

MightyP: [nonchalantly] Seduce me.

[The Noipoi looks back, confused, and turns forward, arms akimbo.]

Noipoi: You?

MightyP: [pointedly] Seduce me.

Noipoi: What, MightyP? I ain't gonna...

MightyP: SEDUCE ME!.

Noipoi: [taken aback] Right! Right. Okay. [He looks down at the cart. He immediately picks up the bucket of fried chicken and lets out a quick sigh.] Okay... [He walks up to the MightyP.] H-hey there, bud'... I got a bucket of chicken...

MightyP: [He slaps the chicken out of Noipoi's hands.] I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps! I'm a man! I like my friends dangerous... Mysterious... [MightyP takes the dummy into his arms and starts dancing with it briefly before holding it in front of him.] You want to be my friend?! Earn it! Seduce me! [He uses the dummy to slap Noipoi across the face, who looks up at him with a hurt expression in his eyes. MightyP simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing.]

[The camera cuts to a shot of MightyP and Noipoi in a classroom setting. The word DINNER is written on the chalkboard as MightyP says something to Noipoi. Later, Noipoi can be seen sitting at the head of a long banquet table. At the other end, Theirepan and Lamperouge can be seen playing the Piano and Saxophone, respectively. Behind him, Pokelego and MightyP are holding a bottle of wine and a bucket of chicken. Noipoi reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on his face, but MightyP slaps his hand away. The fork flies out of his hand and lands on Theirepan's eye, whose other eye immediately widens.]

[Cut back to MightyP and Noipoi in the classroom, only this time PLAYING SMASH is written on the chalkboard. Back in the previous room, Noipoi can be seen awkwardly trying to play Fox in Melee with energy. He he attempts to combo MightyP, who merely shakes his head with disgust. The MightyP proceeds to show Noipoi the proper way to combo, three stocking Noipoi, who is confused. He attempts to mimic the MightyP's actions, but instead SDs.]

[In the classroom, the word DEMEANOR is now written on the board as the MightyP continues to educate Noipoi, who is busy drawing a picture of MightyP being shot in the head. He hits Noipoi in the face with the pointer, who reels back in pain.]

[Noipoi can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. A can of BONK! is set in front of him. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Noipoi, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. More cans of BONK! can be seen littered around the room, and he is now reading a book titled How to beat someone in Smash Melee. Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which the Noipoi, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it, a more confident expression on his face.]

[Cut to Noipoi back at the banquet table, and he extends his pinkie out as he holds the chicken. Later, he can be seen gently embracing the hand of the dummy as the MightyP watches. Noipoi then can be seen beating MightyP in a game of Melee. Cut to black.]

[TRAINING GYM : 2 HOURS TIL DEATH Floodlights come to life, illuminating Noipoi, who is sitting in a classroom chair in the middle of a wrestling ring. After a brief delay, he raises his hand in front of him to shield his eyes from the bright lights.]

MightyP: Final Question... [Cut to a shot of MightyP, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] You have a dinner meetup for seven at Chick-Fil-A... what time do you arrive? [He walks across the ring, awaiting Noipoi's answer.]

Noipoi: Seven. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. [He makes a gun formation with his right hand. MightyP can be seen walking around Noipoi as the camera rotates around him in the opposite direction.] Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30...

[MightyP looks down at Noipoi, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks...]

MightyP: You're ready.

Noipoi: [hopeful] Really?

MightyP: [chucking softly] No. Everything you just said was insane... and, we are out of time. [He sets a glass of liquid in front of the Noipoi.] Congratulations. You're a failure.

Noipoi: Oh... [He stands up, bringing the desk with him. He sits back down and slides out of his chair. The MightyP rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] I failed, did I?

MightyP: [grinning] Yes.

Noipoi: Did I?

MightyP: Yes...

Noipoi: Did I?

MightyP: [Annoyed] Noipoi, where is this going?

Noipoi: Where it's going is I don't need you. I'll put this show on myself!

MightyP: [An expression of disbelief crosses his face] Yourself...?

Noipoi: That's right, fancy pants, myself! [The MightyP's mouth twitches as he stops himself from laughing] So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways, and- [The MightyP taps his watch, voicelessly reminding Noipoi of the death watch] -Okay, crap, I gotta go... [He quickly downs the rest of his drink and begins to walk off-screen, but leans back towards the MightyP.] Screw you, though... [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of nickelodeon all stars fighting game theft, push button. As he does so, he turns around, casually hits the button with his fist, and points at the MightyP as he walks away. Klaxons start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing.]

[Fade to a shot of the Smashing Ramen's Laboratory.]

[Smashing Ramen'S LAB : 1 HOUR TIL DEATH]

[The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. The camera slowly pans to the left, revealing the Snake and Smashing Ramen with a pair of teleporters set up between them. As the Smashing Ramen inspects the teleporter, Snake calls out to him.]

Snake: Y'all ready?

Smashing Ramen: [Turning to the Snake] Ready!

[Snake picks up a figurine. The tumors are now plainly visible on the outside. He sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards, making a noise of disgust. He places the figure on the teleporter, and it disappears in a flash of light. About a second later, it reappears in front of Smashing Ramen, and begins chittering loudly, squirming in place.]

Smashing Ramen: Ooh!

[The Smashing Ramen leans forward with interest. The figure grows teeth and roars at the Smashing Ramen, who lets out a scream of fear as the Vtuber creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. The Smashing Ramen continues to scream as he grabs onto the Vtuber creature and attempts to pry it off.]

Snake: Aww hell...

[Snake walks off-camera as energetic drums start to play in the background. Cut to a shot of Duxx on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of it. He ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. A look of determination can be seen on his face. He comes to a stop outside a steel plate door and hops off of the scooter, shotgun in hand.]

[RED BASE : 40 MINUTES TIL DEATH]

[As Duxx walks towards the door, the scooter falls onto its side. The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Alexxela falls out of one of the bags. Duxx briefly turns towards the scooter, as if to set it back upright, but instead continues on towards the door. He places his back up against the wall to the left of the door and glances upwards briefly.]

Duxx: [Quickly] You're ready. Alright. [He lets out a deep breath, ***** the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Noipoi's chest, who's waiting for him there.]

Noipoi: [unconvincingly] Duxx. What an unexpected surprise.

Duxx: They took the nickelodeon all stars fighting game ... Don't worry, we can fix this. [He pushes past the Noipoi, who follows him.] We'll get it back, and the Administrator never has to know.

[A security camera tracks their movements as Duxx adjusts his glasses.]

Noipoi: You look... You look... aahhhhhh...

[Close up of the camera, then cut to a shot of Theirepan, Shroob, and MightyP in a room full of monitors, watching the two interact. MightyP is sitting in the chair in front of the monitors while Shroob and Theirepan stand behind him.]

Theirepan: DRUNK!

Shroob: Round! Soft! No, round!

Theirepan: Blurry!

[The MightyP shakes his head, lowers his eyes, and brings his fingers to his temple in annoyance. Cut back to Noipoi and Duxx.]

Noipoi: ...Ravishing.

Duxx: [Briefly glancing over at Noipoi] Uh-huh. You too. [Brief flash over to MightyP, whose gaze returns to the monitor.] Hold on... That's the nickelodeon all stars fighting game right there... Noipoi, you... [He turns to Noipoi, then he notices something off-screen.] Noipoi, are we having a prom?

[Cut to a shot of the room behind them, which is decorated with ribbons, balloons, streamers, and various themed decorations while rocking jazz music plays. One of Smashing Ramen's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]

Noipoi: Yeah. Nah. Yeah-ah. Well the... Yeah, the thing is...

[Cut to a shot of Shroob, MightyP, and Theirepan watching the monitors. Shroob has a grin on his face, Theirepan looks concerned, and MightyP looks very worried. Suddenly Snake bursts in through the door behind them.]

Snake: Guys! Hey fellas, listen! It's just the figures that get cancer!

Smashing Ramen: [Appearing behind Snake] It's not even cancer! It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure porcelain. Here, watch this.

[The Smashing Ramen shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the Vtuber creature from earlier. It spins around in the jar and comes to a stop.] Ooh, look! It hates me so much! [The Vtuber creature attempts to bite the Smashing Ramen again as Shroob leans in for a closer look. The Vtuber creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and Shroob chuckles to himself at its actions. Snake walks up to Shroob and Smashing Ramen and places her arms around their shoulders.]

Snake: [Laughing] So, we're fine. As long as nobody teleports any anime figurines.

Shroob: Question.

Snake: What's your question, Shroob?

Shroob: I teleported anime figurines.

Snake: You what?

Shroob: You told me to.

Snake: [Threateningly] How... much...?

Shroob: [Leaning backwards] I have done nothing but teleport Vtuber for three days.

[Smashing Ramen throws the jar containing the Vtuber creature onto the ground. Shattering glass can be heard.']

Smashing Ramen: Where?! [He grabs Shroob by his coat.] Where have you been sending it?!

[An ominous rumble shakes the entire area as the group look to the nearby Chick-Fil-A. Cut to Noipoi and Duxx, who are also looking around].

Duxx: Noipoi... I get one day off a year. And you just wasted it on-- [He looks around him, pausing mid-sentence.] --this! Goodbye!

Noipoi: Wait! Wait! Wait! Ah... [Noipoi walks towards a door labeled Dining Area.] Why don't we discuss it over dinner...? (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant Vtuber monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays.]

Duxx: [Yelling] What the hell is that!?

[The Vtuber monster crashes through the door as Noipoi pulls Duxx out of harm's way. The two run for the exit as the Vtuber monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. Noipoi backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. The dove from earlier flies at the monster and is promptly eaten by it. The wooden platform they're standing on creaks from the weight of the monster. Both Noipoi and Duxx look down at the wood below them. Another jolt knocks them off their feet. Now weakened, the wooden platform collapses, sending the trio plummeting to the dirt below. Duxx tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, helmet falling off of his head. Noipoi, meanwhile, bounces off the Vtuber monster and lands on his feet in a battle stance. He glances down to his right, and picks up a long piece of twisted metal with a spike on the end of it to use as a makeshift weapon.]

Noipoi: Duxx, run!

[Noipoi motions for him to escape to safety. Duxx climbs to his feet and darts away, pressing himself up against the RED payload bomb. Bakugan, Smashing Ramen, and Pokelego rush to the aid of Noipoi and Duxx. Bakugan and Smashing Ramen pause and look at the Vtuber monster with fear in their eyes.]

Bakugan: [Turning to the Smashing Ramen] NOW, DOCTOR!

[Smashing Ramen looks at Bakugan, then flips the handle of his Medi Gun. The healing beam latches onto the Bakugan, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the ÜberCharge is deployed. Bakugan revs his mini-gun up and walks towards the Vtuber monster, firing his weapon. Pokelego can also be seen engulfing the monster in flames. It smashes the cliff face with a tentacle, causing rock to come tumbling down on Bakugan, who endures the debris pounding down on his back.]

[Cut to a shot of Duxx watching the battle. Pokelego can be seen dashing back to the battle, having presumably been knocked back by the Vtuber monster. Duxx steps forward and turns to look at the bomb. The camera zooms in on the top of the bomb where the words DANGER: BOMB are spray-painted onto it. A look of realization appears on his face.]

[Cut back to the battle, and Pokelego stomps on one of the tentacles. The Vtuber monster turns his attention towards the Pokelego, and immediately has its mouth filled with fire. It recoils in pain, letting out a loud roar. Noipoi can be seen dodging the tentacles, jumping onto one and using his makeshift weapon to impale one of the other tentacles. In the background, Bakugan and Smashing Ramen push forward while Snake and Theirepan stay behind to build up a Poke Sniper and lob grenades at the Vtuber monster, respectively. Snake smacks her Poke Sniper with her wrench, upgrading it to Level 2, and she motions for Theirepan to move up.]

[Duxx has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. Noipoi, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the Vtuber monster and slams his club into it. He then gets grabbed by a tentacle and is yanked into the air. Lamperouge arrives at the battle, and after a brief moment of aiming, shoots the tentacle holding Noipoi, freeing him from its grasp. The monster throws Noipoi at the Theirepan, and they both collapse onto the ground. Noipoi scrambles to his feet and rushes forward, but is stopped by an uncloaking MightyP.]

MightyP: I think it's going pretty well... [He gives the Noipoi a pat on the back as a cloud of dust rolls over them.] Now go...! [He waves the Noipoi off and runs forward into battle. Noipoi turns back to Duxx.]

Noipoi: Hey, Duxx. Oh, I am so sorry...

Duxx: [Looking up from the wires] God, Noipoi, what for? Pressing the one button you're never supposed to press? Do you have any idea what's in a nickelodeon all stars fighting game that-- [Duxx spots the watch on Noipoi's arm] --Oh, oh! Give me your watch! [He holds his hand out expectantly]

Noipoi: Yeah. Exactly! [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Duxx] See, that is where this all starts! No, actually, wait...

[Noipoi is interrupted by a scream, and Shroob flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]

Shroob: [proudly] HA HA HA! I TELEPORTED VTUBER FIGURES!

[Shroob is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. In the distance, a tentacle knocks over both Pokelego and Theirepan as Snake hastily backs up to avoid another tentacle. Lamperouge attempts to take another shot at the monster but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle. He gets swung to one side and loses his grip on his gun. Lamperouge tumbles through the gravel briefly before getting back to his feet and taking out his Kukri. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]

Noipoi: ...so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this...

[In the background, Smashing Ramen hurriedly rushed forward to heal Pokelego, who has been lifted by another tentacle]

Duxx: GUYS! CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS! [He points at the hangar they just exited from.]

[Snake looks at him, then abandons her Sniper, which is now Level 3, to rush into the hangar. The Smashing Ramen runs in front of the camera as it focuses back on Noipoi and Duxx.]

Noipoi: Duxx. Look, my last few hours I just wanted...

[The Vtuber monster grabs a hold of the bomb and swings it around in the air. It lets out another roar.]

Bakugan: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON!

Noipoi: Um, never mind...

Duxx: RUN!

[The two rush towards the hangar, but they get cut off by the payload bomb being thrown at the blast doors, bending them and denying them access.]

Noipoi: Oh God...

[They back up towards the blast doors as the Vtuber monster lumbers towards them slowly. A large fire has broken out behind it. Cut to a close-up of Noipoi and Duxx. Noipoi is busy searching for an escape route while Duxx has a look of terror on his face. Noipoi grabs a hold of him and yanks her off to one side as the Vtuber monster knocks the bomb around. They take shelter behind it. Noipoi looks at the monster, which lets out a long roar. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the dove it swallowed earlier is seen sitting inside it. Noipoi and Duxx look on, amazed, as the dove takes off and flies away.]

[Duxx looks Noipoi in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. He lets out a yelp as one of the Vtuber monster's tentacles slams into the ground. Noipoi grabs a hold of him and, making use of the Smash moves he learned from MightyP, keeps him safe from harm. They stop as he holds him up and looks at him. He looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in his hand. He twirls him back onto his feet and the two start running.]

[Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. Noipoi and Duxx run at the Vtuber monster as he lets out a yelp. The timer ticks down to one second as they leap straight into the open maw of the monster. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black.]

[A match is lit, revealing Noipoi and Duxx pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]

Noipoi: [Struggling] Aaahhhh... Ah... Duxx, you all right?

Duxx: [Opening his eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck...

Noipoi: Oh God...

Duxx: Oh. Now I can feel it. Ow. Ow.

Noipoi: Oh God, I am so sorry. This is...

Duxx: That... was so... much... FUN! [A smile forms on his face]

Noipoi: [A look of confusion on his face] You're not mad?

Duxx: [quickly] I was furious. Oh my God, you set off the nickelodeon all stars fighting game alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken. Can we do this again?

Noipoi: Yeah, sure! [He smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown] Wait, nah. We can't. I'm going to be dead.

Duxx: [Confused] Wait, what?

Shroob: [Poking his head into the cavity] Good news! We're not dying! We are going to live forever!

[Bakugan lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Noipoi and Duxx.]

Smashing Ramen:I didn't say that! I just said we're not filled with cancer tumors!

Noipoi: Oh thank God. [relaxes and chuckles] So yeah, Duxx. I guess it's a meet up.

Duxx: Actually this is my only day off this year.

Noipoi: Oh...

Duxx: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. [brings out a flip notebook]

[The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. Snake and Smashing Ramen are seen at the bottom of the shot discussing something. MightyP flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. Bakugan grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to Theirepan, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. Lamperouge is on the backside of the monster, cleaning his Kukri. As the camera pulls back farther, Pokelego can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small Vtuber monster darting around his legs like a puppy as they try to keep track of it.]

Duxx: Tomorrow...I'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses.

Noipoi: Ah, no.

Duxx: Oh! You can help me yank the molars out of a box full of heads.

Noipoi: No to that.

Duxx: Well, on Friday I got to kill someone who pressed a nickelodeon all stars fighting game alarm button and...oh.

[Cut to black]

Duxx: You're already going to be at that one.

[The screen then cuts to a text with the Team Fortress 2: Free to Play logo with the sharp tolling of a bell. Another ring comes with the appearance of the text "www.teamfortress.com". The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again]
How did I know I was gonna be the Spy
 
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