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tell you best joke/pick up line

P

para trooper

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Aug 10, 2001
Messages
1,543
Location
Butt Savage
ive got a lot but ill start w/ one of each
"got any tape, bc im ripped" -para trooper
"did you here about the kidnapping? yeah well he woke up"
 
jet

jet

Smash Lord
Joined
Sep 23, 2001
Messages
1,526
Location
In my reality
your mama so stupid if her brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a fleamobile around the inside of a fruit loop... Happy 300th post to me

<small>[ March 18, 2002, 07:49 PM: Message edited by: jet ]</small>
 
3

3-D Pikachu

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Feb 18, 2002
Messages
175
Location
Viridian Forest
There are 3 couples, a old couple, a middle-aged couple, and a newly wed. They all wanted to join the church. The minister says, to join you can't have sex for a week.

After a week...

The minister asks the old couple so how did you do? They reply "oh, it was easy!" The old couple was allowed to join. Next was the middle-aged couple, "it was hard at first so i slept on the couch." The misnister goes your in! Last was the newly wed, the minister asks "how did you do?" The man replies, "well it was going fine at first but when my wife bent down to pick up a can of paint, I couldn't resist so i jumped on her". The ministers says "you can't be allowed to the church then" The couple goes "we're not allowed in Home Hardware either..."

I laughed so hard when i first heard it, it's more funny if it's told by someone though...
 
P

para trooper

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Aug 10, 2001
Messages
1,543
Location
Butt Savage
if you had to live in the desert the rest of your life what one item would you bring

a car door so when it gets hot i can roll it down
 
Giygas

Giygas

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Mar 14, 2001
Messages
5,098
Location
Gaudy Apartment Complex
Your mama's so ugly that the tide wouldn't take her out.

Your mama's so fat that when she plays hop-skotch, she says "London, Hong Kong, New York..."

n00bs are so dumb that they actually talk out loud in a chat room instead of typing and wonder why nobody can hear them.

<small>[ March 18, 2002, 07:58 PM: Message edited by: Giygas ]</small>
 
D

DrumUltimA

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Dec 15, 2001
Messages
280
Location
Connecticut
I'm really not one for these, but oh well.

Yer momma's so greasy, she sweats syrup and butter. She got a job working at IHOP wipeing pancakes across her forehead!
 
McFox

McFox

Spread the Love
BRoomer
Joined
Sep 9, 2001
Messages
18,783
Location
Visiting from above.
They're not supposed to be nice Lightsaberboy. They're also not meant to be taken seriously.

Your momma's so fat, if she had a watch on each hand, they'd be set to different time zones.

Your momma's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
 
O

Oni.Link87

Smash Cadet
Joined
Feb 19, 2002
Messages
28
Location
California
Seeing how everyone's on momma jokes heres one. It's not the best but it is one.

Your mommas teeth are so yellow she opened her mouth in traffic and all the cars went sloooooow.
 
JBird1203

JBird1203

Sgt. Pepper
BRoomer
Joined
Jan 25, 2002
Messages
1,065
Location
san diego
OK here's a site with buttloads of momma jokes: <a href="http://www.laughpit.com/jokes/Yo_Mama.html" target="_blank">Momma Jokes.</a> You have to sift through the crappy ones to get to some good ones. I haven't been there in a while myself...

<small>[ March 18, 2002, 11:54 PM: Message edited by: JBird1203 ]</small>
 
A

Annoying James

Smash Ace
Joined
Feb 23, 2002
Messages
743
Location
banned
mine is actually a spooky story/joke.

in a dark dark house, there was a dark dark hall. in that dark dark hall, there was a dark dark room. in that dark dark room, there was a dark dark box. in that dark dark box, there was a dark dark chest. in that dark dark chest there was a small dark box. in that small dark box there was a PINK JELLYBEAN that screams "eat me eat me!"

Smelly socks are the root of pure evil!
 
D

Daniel Miller

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Dec 30, 2001
Messages
325
Location
drifting down Akina mountain
Here's a few:

Your teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!

Your mama's so stupid, she stole a free sample.

Your mama's so stupid she walked into a school bus and said,"Where's the cream filling?"

Your mama's so fat, the last time she saw "90210" it was on a scale!

You're so stupid you stuck a battery up your butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!!!"

You're so poor, I went to your house for dinner and there were 3 beans on a plate. I took 1 and your mom said, "Don't be greedy!"

You're so poor that when I went to your house and stepped on a cigar, your mom said, "Who turned off the heater?"

You're so poor when I went to your house, your mom said, "Get into the car," and everybody sat down on a skateboard.
-------------------------------------------------
Funny, eh?
 
N

Nigmone

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Nov 27, 2001
Messages
163
Location
California
I dislike bringing mothers into this...

You're so ugly, when you were born, they had to put you in a tinted incubater...

You're so fat, you have more chins than the Chinese phone book...

You're so dumb, your IQ test came back negative...

Women bashing...

Why do brides wear white?
B/C it's always nice to have the dishwasher match the stove and fridge...

(R Rated)
Why are women like KFC?
B/C once you're done with the breast and thighs, all you got left is a greasy box to put your bone in...

~Darkseid
 
RoY iS tHe BeSt

RoY iS tHe BeSt

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Mar 5, 2002
Messages
346
Location
San Bernardino, CA
Yo mama is so old when I told her to act her own age she died.
Yo mama is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.
Your so poor that when I asked to use your bathroom your mom said Down the hall three buckets to the left! <img border="0" alt="[Laugh]" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" />
 
B

Bly

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Mar 19, 2002
Messages
155
Location
home
your moma so fat when she wore high heels she struck oil

r rated
why did your dad cross the street?b/c his **** was stuck in the chicken

you so poor i saw your momma kickin a can down the street and i asked her what she was doin she said movin
 
A

Annoying James

Smash Ace
Joined
Feb 23, 2002
Messages
743
Location
banned
so i tripped over a cordless phone! not the cord but the phone itself. geez some of these jokes are so old and lame! most arent even yours!
 
A

Annoying James

Smash Ace
Joined
Feb 23, 2002
Messages
743
Location
banned
Me: hey can i have the time?
Gurlz: You sick freak! *slap*
Me: what did I do?
Gurlz: you know what you did.
Me: no i dont!
Gurlz: youre at it again! *slap*
this is a walk in my everyday life its not pretty <img border="0" alt="[Enraged]" title="" src="graemlins/grrr.gif" />
 
V

Vega Raine

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Jan 23, 2002
Messages
166
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Annoying James:
<strong>so i tripped over a cordless phone! not the cord but the phone itself. geez some of these jokes are so old and lame! most arent even yours!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Couldn't have said it better myself.
 
deltaorange_samus

deltaorange_samus

Naranja Nirvana
BRoomer
Joined
Sep 26, 2001
Messages
2,486
Location
The Windy City
Yeah, here are some pickup lines:

Hey Baby! Do you work at subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong!

That outfit sure looks nice on you, but it would look better on my floor.

I actualy said this to a girl once, for no reason: "Call me Darth Balls. BONG!"

Its from "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back." She failed to see the humor in it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" />
 
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