tell you best joke/pick up line

deltaorange_samus · Mar 19, 2002

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Metroid Killer:
wanna get laid?<hr /></blockquote>Amen brother! I would like you to be the first guy in history to get that one to work. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Metroid Killer · Mar 19, 2002

It worked with my cat so why not <img border="0" alt="[Crazy]" title="" src="graemlins/crazy.gif" />
-----------------
What did god say in reply to the complaining guy in heaven?

-"To h*ll with that"

(hahaha I just made it...hmmm maybe that's why it's so lame)

PU lines

Man it's hot, should we take our clothes off?

Do you love reptiles? cause you gonna love my snake.

I feel dirty, lets take a bath.

Your eyes are pretty, your lips are hot. Lets do the thing where I say yiippii...and you say not -_-!

Silver denryuu's pick up line: Roses are red, violets are blue, i love spaghetti, lets ****. (hahahah)

[ March 19, 2002, 01:19 PM: Message edited by: Metroid Killer ]

Limey · Mar 19, 2002

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Metroid Killer:

Silver denryuu's pick up line: Roses are red, violets are blue, i love spaghetti, lets ****. (hahahah)<hr /></blockquote>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Another pick up line.

"Does your Dad work in a bakery? Cause you've got some hot buns."

"Nice dress, It'd look even better on my bedroom floor."

That's all I can think of for now.

jet · Mar 19, 2002

there is this girl on my street where she has earned the nick name "fat kelly". one day me and my friend were coming back from the YMCA and i saw a moving van at her house and i said they must have not been let her on the Bus

para trooper · Mar 19, 2002

due mkiller thats pretty bad, the new pirate movie is rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

3-D Pikachu · Mar 19, 2002

This has to be the funniest:

A man comes in late and goes to a motel, he asks the clerk is there any rooms left, the clerk says there's one more but people say it's haunted by a monster. The man slowly enters the room. Nothing happens for a while so he goes to sleep. The man wakes up after hearing "When I get you, I will eat you!" The man ignores it and goes to sleep. The man is woken up again by a voice saying "When I get you, I will eat you!" The man follows that voice, it continues and goes "When I get you, I will eat you!" The man figures the voice is coming from the closet so he goes to the closet and opens it...

He sees a little boy picking his nose.

3-D Pikachu · Mar 19, 2002

A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is "definitely" and its meaning is "absolute, positive, without a doubt."
She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who is in the back raising her hand, quite sure of herself.

Susan stands up and says, "The sky is definitely blue."

The teacher replies to her, "Well, that's a good sentence but sometimes the sky is gray, and sometimes its cloudy, and sometimes its red and pink so the sky is not definitely blue. Anyone else?"

Tom's hand flies up and she calls on him.

Tom answers, "The water is definitely clear."

"Well, Tom that's a good sentence but sometimes the water is muddy, and sometimes it's green, and sometimes it's full of seaweed so it's not definitely clear. Anyone else?"

Finally, in the far corner, little Robert slowly raises his hand.

"Yes, Robert?" asks the teacher.

"Can I ask a question, teacher?" Robert replies.

"Yes."

"Do farts have lumps?"

"No. Why do you ask."

"Well, then I've definitely pooped in my pants."

3-D Pikachu · Mar 19, 2002

This one is kind of a diss I heard:

Q: What do Barbie and Britney Spears have in common?
A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.

3-D Pikachu · Mar 19, 2002

This one is really good:

Boy: Will you punish me for something i didn't do?

Teacher: Of corse not!

Boy: Good cause I didn't do my homework!

Ridley_of_Nofair · Mar 19, 2002

this is the pick-up line you never wanna use, lol:

"If you were a booger, i'd pick you first."

<img border="0" alt="[ROTFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rotfl.gif" />

para trooper · Mar 19, 2002

nice man nice

foxwillkillagain · Mar 19, 2002

this is kinda a dis your momas fat.

dejavu3k · Mar 19, 2002

yo mamas so stupid, that she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

There was this little boy who was learning the abc's. when he was reciting it to his teacher, he went,"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z..." the teacher sez,"good job, but where is ur 'p'." then the boy sez,"its dripping down my left leg."

3-D Pikachu · Mar 19, 2002

Oh the first one was beautiful, ahahahahahaah... the second i've heard...

Lightsaberboy · Mar 19, 2002

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by dejavu3k:
yo mamas so stupid, that she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

"<hr /></blockquote>wow. that's defying the laws of gravity.

Daniel Miller · Mar 19, 2002

Here's a story/joke.
-----------------------
In heaven, there was a lady standing at the pearly gates with St. Peter. St. Peter asked her, "I see you married 4 men. One, a millionaire. Secondly, a movie producer. Thirdly, a pastor. And fourthly, a mortician. Why?" The lady replied, "Well, one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!"
-------------------------------------------------
Funny, eh? <img border="0" alt="[ROTFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rotfl.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[ROTFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rotfl.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[ROTFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rotfl.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[ROTFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rotfl.gif" />

JBird1203 · Mar 19, 2002

Here's some more goodies:
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs that waterskis? Skip
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the wall? Art
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob

para trooper · Mar 20, 2002

the new pirate movei....rated ARRRRR

Green Dream · Mar 20, 2002

You guys are sick, you can't get a girl with those pickup lines! Take my advice, I'm a girl. Maybe you should say "hi" first. <img border="0" alt="[Oh Well]" title="" src="graemlins/ohwell.gif" />

[ March 20, 2002, 08:41 PM: Message edited by: Green Dream ]

Chaotic Yoshi · Mar 20, 2002

^ "Hi" ^
yo paratrooper, you posting the same things multiple times.

Now the joke...

I die and go to the gates of heaven, an angel says you cannot come in because u sinned. i asked what i did and the angel said, you didnt pay your income taxes, you must go back to earth and sleep with an ugly women for 3 years.

So I go to earth, and im waking in the park with my girl and MK comes along, i see him with this really ugly girl and ask him how he ended up with her, and he said income taxes.

Then came along tmw_redcell, he was with this really beautifull girl, we go up to him and ask him how he got her, he said "I dunno, she's so beautifull, isn't she, she's really hot and is great in bed, but everynight she complains about income taxes." <img border="0" alt="[Laugh]" title="" src="graemlins/laugh.gif" />

[Sorry if i offended anyone, i used the first names that poped-up in my head.]

[ March 20, 2002, 08:26 PM: Message edited by: Chaotic ]

Kokichi · Mar 20, 2002

Hey baby are those astropants because your *** is out of this world!

king tut · Mar 20, 2002

Pick up line: Hi want to play battleship, i lay down and you blow me away.

yuriismaster · Mar 20, 2002

Hey baby, are you an overdue library book 'cause you've got FINE written all over you.

Here's some 2-cow jokes.

Christian: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor. </li>
Republican: You have 2 cows. Your neighbor has none. WHO CARES? </li>
American Factory Owner: You have 2 cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows with half the food. You are surprised when it dies. </li>
American Buisnessman: You have 2 cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and start a herd. </li>
Mexican: You think you have 2 cows, but you don't know what they are. You take a nap. </li>
Italian: You have 2 cows, but you don't know what they are. You break for lunch. </li>
Russian: You have 2 cows. You count again and discover you have 36 cows. You count again and discover you have 739 cows. You pause counting to open another bottle of vodka. </li>
Japanese: You have 2 cows. You redesign them to produce 20 times the milk with 1/4 of the food. </li>
Muslim: You have 2 cows. You worship them. </li>

These are hilarious, right? <img border="0" alt="[ROTFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rotfl.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[ROTFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rotfl.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Chuckle]" title="" src="graemlins/chuckle.gif" /> :D
BTW, give me credit when you quote them.

Lightsaberboy · Mar 20, 2002

oh, so you only posted them to get credit?

XLII · Oct 11, 2008

I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves

Overload · Oct 11, 2008

why was this bumped. there are already two topics about pick up lines

GoldShadow · Oct 11, 2008

XLII said:
I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves

Really? Is bumping 6-year old duplicate threads the new cool thing to do now?

tell you best joke/pick up line

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