It's fine, I don't share what's going on with me to get help, as strange as it sounds. I kind of just do it so I don't feel so alone.
Well, mine as well share what happened to get it off my chest.
The beginning of this month was great, me and my girlfriend, who have been together for months at this point, had a fantastic relationship. She inspired me to do something with my adult life, I ended up planning things that I would've never thought of planning out before. She really did inspire me, and she made me happy when everything around me just felt miserable and depressing.
Then, after one night, a night which we had a ton of fun with and really gave me hope and confidence for my life, she seemingly disapeared. I started worrying if I did something wrong. Weeks went by and I grew more and more depressed as usual. Until she finally got to talk to me fully april 3rd...
And then my fears were confirmed. Turns out that she fell for someone else, a girl. Because she had a crush on her before she even met me, and decided that she just loved her slightly more. And then right during then, on a differfnt website a little after I got a whooooole wall of text on how much I suck and how terrible of a person I am in the most vigor manor, followed by other people joining in. Me and my former GF voice chatted. I started crying, she thought it was because of those people, but really, it's far from that....
Logically, I shouldn't be depressed, she said she still loves me and that I'm her best friend, even saying that she couldn't live without me at that point, but still... I just got incredibly depressed to the point where I just started going deep into the internet to find suicide videos, of well, people killing themselves. That's just how bad I felt, it was because I felt the future I had in front of me was crushed almost completely. I just wish I were brave enough to end everything at that point... That's how I almost always feel alone, despite being an introvert.
Luckily last week I accidently contacted her sister(I was actually looking to talk to her GF.) and she was very lighthearted and kind to me. Like, extremely, talking to her made me feel like my old self. She was crazy about me too.
![Stick Out Tongue :p :p](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.gif)
Like, I wonder how someone is even that cheerful in a reality like this...
Anyway, I hope I get lucky one day and she changes her mind. I've been depressed today, especially since I haven't seen her at all lately. But I'll always keep her sister's words in mind.(And no, I'm not going to kill myself, if I end up lonely I'll be at least a single parent eventually.)
Just a story to get all the thoughts out of my head...