PolMex23
Smash Champion
...to notice in the moment of my depression an to respond by,
walking up an asking whats wrong. So to allow me to tell her how I really felt.
Background story, real fast. Met her last year in October. Fell instantly in love(of course not really but extreme infatuation). The more I found out the more I fell. Out of my league in my mind so I put her there.
2 months later, stuff gets hot at a party. Be mindful that when I said shes out of my league that means I didn't try nothin. We weren't drunk, and the opportunity to give her a massage came up. I took it. Led to a make out session, not too long.
After that night, lost my balls. Got paranoid. Stopped trying, letting the days eat at me due to allowing such a burden of regret on my chest.
Well she noticed today that I wasn't at the party(attended a cinco de mayo party last night). I was outside, alone, one house away on the side of the street with a bottle of 151 tequila and a tall boy of corona(or large long neck, bigger then average). I wasn't trashed nor drunk. "Tipsy" is the best description of my state at that time. An remarkably i was depressed out there because of her. Usually gets to me whenever im around her so I take a few moments, 5-10 min to just compose myself. Never cry but to just shake it off.
An she came over to me, sat down next to me, an asked what was wrong. (She liked me back then, but I ruined it through my actions. Its been a while since shes shown any affection till that moment.)
But who knows. She took it in a way I couldn't read but you learn to stop trying to read women. Thats a lost cause. Just react, an react honestly. But when I was getting into how much I liked her, I couldn't help but notice how much she digged it. You shoulda seen her when I said how her giggle an eyes made me feel, yadda yadda...My god.
Yet she remained silent mostly. When I was done, she made a lame joke an apologized for it. The moment was kinda ruined with the arrival of a group of people, not allowing her to respond.
But Im sure, at least to her, I mind gamed the **** outta her. Facebook status for her reads "60% of life= great! 40% = Wtf..."
You know, It kinda bugs me. Actually, it frightens me. Not only did what I always wished for happened. Not only did I actually go through with what I felt needed to be said at that moment, in that exact situation that ive already foreseen/dreamed. The timing of this event. Of all these events.
At least I can move on now if its not meant to be. She knows how I feel. An I can't explain to you how amazing that feels. There are truly no words to describe. But I wonder what does this all mean...really. Life is so beautiful.
Is it really true that everyone you meet is for a reason? My god, just so weird.
Yet just so beautiful.
PS, Of course id love for it all to work out. But In all honesty I know it probably wont happen. But just like I said earlier. What a feeling.
walking up an asking whats wrong. So to allow me to tell her how I really felt.
Background story, real fast. Met her last year in October. Fell instantly in love(of course not really but extreme infatuation). The more I found out the more I fell. Out of my league in my mind so I put her there.
2 months later, stuff gets hot at a party. Be mindful that when I said shes out of my league that means I didn't try nothin. We weren't drunk, and the opportunity to give her a massage came up. I took it. Led to a make out session, not too long.
After that night, lost my balls. Got paranoid. Stopped trying, letting the days eat at me due to allowing such a burden of regret on my chest.
Well she noticed today that I wasn't at the party(attended a cinco de mayo party last night). I was outside, alone, one house away on the side of the street with a bottle of 151 tequila and a tall boy of corona(or large long neck, bigger then average). I wasn't trashed nor drunk. "Tipsy" is the best description of my state at that time. An remarkably i was depressed out there because of her. Usually gets to me whenever im around her so I take a few moments, 5-10 min to just compose myself. Never cry but to just shake it off.
An she came over to me, sat down next to me, an asked what was wrong. (She liked me back then, but I ruined it through my actions. Its been a while since shes shown any affection till that moment.)
But who knows. She took it in a way I couldn't read but you learn to stop trying to read women. Thats a lost cause. Just react, an react honestly. But when I was getting into how much I liked her, I couldn't help but notice how much she digged it. You shoulda seen her when I said how her giggle an eyes made me feel, yadda yadda...My god.
Yet she remained silent mostly. When I was done, she made a lame joke an apologized for it. The moment was kinda ruined with the arrival of a group of people, not allowing her to respond.
But Im sure, at least to her, I mind gamed the **** outta her. Facebook status for her reads "60% of life= great! 40% = Wtf..."
You know, It kinda bugs me. Actually, it frightens me. Not only did what I always wished for happened. Not only did I actually go through with what I felt needed to be said at that moment, in that exact situation that ive already foreseen/dreamed. The timing of this event. Of all these events.
At least I can move on now if its not meant to be. She knows how I feel. An I can't explain to you how amazing that feels. There are truly no words to describe. But I wonder what does this all mean...really. Life is so beautiful.
Is it really true that everyone you meet is for a reason? My god, just so weird.
Yet just so beautiful.
PS, Of course id love for it all to work out. But In all honesty I know it probably wont happen. But just like I said earlier. What a feeling.
![Эикельманн [РУС]](/data/avatars/l/153/153661.jpg?1415225120){kind=avatar}
