Ruler of The Land

[Mic_128]

Hey Ba..aussie. Hows it hanging?
Au: Yeah right. You're gonna kick me off somehow aren't you?
Me: No....not at all. He's going to do it for me.
A 500 pound gorilla walks in the room picks up aussie ("eep") and footy style kicks him right out of the room.
Me: Sweet.
*Ruleslandism*

 

[aussie]

Aus:LOL you think a 500 pound gorilla can stop me, I gave him a banana and sent him on his way. Now get off my throne now!

Mic:No way

Aus: Fine extoseao

Mic_128 suddenly dissappears in thin air and appears somewhere in the deepest ocean.

I ONCE AGAIN RULE THE LAND!!!

 

[DarkSideMarth]

DSM RETURNS AFTER LONG TIME!!

KICKs aussie in face and tosses them into an empty jar, which I then set next to *TAH DA* the new super-cool throne-features include free beverage machine and super cool massage action!

 

[DrumStickz]

I splash water on your throne. It short ciruits and starts to spark and smoke. You get electrocuted. You run off to your mommy.

I'm the ruler of the land.

 

[DarkSideMarth]

my mommy kicks me out again and tells me to get a job and i come back and poke out yer eyes with my shoe and then as I take the throne back I call my mom and tell her that I got a job as the RULER OF THE LAND!

 

[Zero EXE]

I call your mom and tell her your looking at dirty magazines. She comes by and drags you home by your legs.

I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND!

*I also start dispensing your free soda and stockpile it in my private stash. *

 

[Hairy Faced D!ck]

i poison the sodas now you dead

i am ruler of the land

 

[Zero EXE]

-_-.....okay, take into consideration that I didn't drink any of the soda yet, m'kay?

I dip a blow dart into the tainted-soda and shoot it into HFD's neck. I don't know what he put in there, but he starts convulsing pretty badly. I open the trapdoor and shove him in with my broom-handle.

I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND!

(Now I have to stock my soda ALL OVER AGAIN! Thanks alot, jerk!>_<)

 

[ultimaiq2]

The guards carry Ultima IQ outside VERY slowly (a few posts slowly).

Guard1: Does this not look a lot like the ruler a while ago?
Guard2: You can't tell whos the ruler?
Guard1: Not realy, they change too ofthen.
Guard2: look at the throne, THATS the ruler, no matter who it is.
Guard1: Guess that throne got great power.
Uiq: Will you guys shut up!! You've been carrying me for days now>_<
Guard1: we are working on it! *slaps Uiq* Soo, Guard2, hows your girlfriend?
Guard2: Hey! my name is Muhammed Abdul Quarccashigihamuedudoydah, and it's Guard3 that has a girlfriend.
Guard3: Anyone mention my name?
Guard2: Your name is not Guard3.
Guard3: Sure it is! thats what everyone calls me^_^
Guard2: Ok... What does your friends call you?
Guard3: Friends?
Guard1: Sorry too interupt the talk but, Ultima just escaped while I was picking up a pr0n magazine (MGS2 joke)

Ultima IQ is running down the LONG hall back too the throne room.

Uiq: *allmost tired* Man... This... Hall... Is... Long... *finaly in the throne room*
Zero: Intruder alert! All guards too the throne room, don't let the intruder get away.
SWAT: Affirmative, initiate full search for the intruder!
Uiq: Umm, I'm right here, you can close doen your search mode now.
Zero: (Somethings definatly wrong here, why is he acting all MGS2ish?)
Uiq: I give up!
Zero: *gasp!* What?
Uiq: I surrender, now please kill me...
Zero: Muahahahaaaaa, finaly, the great Ultima has surrendered under my power. Very well, throw away all your weapons and throw them at the floor, or rather, throw them into the pit *Ultima does so* Hahahahaaaa, now I'll slap you too death!!
Uiq: Please spare me:o
Zero: Never! *slaps Ultima*
Uiq: Tick!
Zero: Huh? whats was that? never mind *slaps again harder*
Uiq: ... Tick!!
Zero: I'm allmost sure I heard a tick sound *3rd slap*
Uiq: ...TICK!!!... Haha, Zero go boom!!!

All of a sudden UltimaIQ explodes engulfing Zero into a big firey blast. When it is over Zero is lying on the floor near dead.

Zero: Bahahaaa, I'm still alive and Ultima is not... For the first time in history someone ACTUALLY defeated an challenger!!! Muahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa chough! Whahahahahahaaaaa!!!
???: thats only half true *a figure steps out of the shaddows* That was merly a puppet controlled by my chackra strings, and now I will finish you!
Zero: ULTIMA!! I'm sorry! I realy am *cries*
Uiq: Heh, you knew it was me. You must be a strong Ninja.
Zero: Huh? I just guessed that.
Uiq: Moron, don't expose a weakness! *throws a kunai into Zeros leg*
Zero: Ouch!
Uiq: You like that, here have some more *throws several kunais and shurikens at Zero*
Zero: Owowowowow!! It hurts so much... *does a hand seal* Recover No Jutsu!!
Uiq: 0_0?
Zero: *fully recovered* Haha! Never saw that comming? now did you!
Uiq: Yeah I saw it, and so did my sharingan^_^
Zero: What? Thats unfair you skill thief!! That move is the only move that only I had in the whole world!!
Uiq: I know, and you rarely use it too, in fact, this was your second time.
Zero: <_< >_> hey, I had too recover after that dog bite me in the 'you-know-what'
Uiq: that was such a funny moment.
Zero: But wait, why did you not copy it then?
Uiq: well It was-

Mr Salesman: Hi everyone out there in your houses!! I mr Sales man got the perfect offer for you!! The super duper giga thumb exerciser, now you can exercise your thumbs where ever you want!!!!
Billy: Wow! Mr Salesman, this thing is great!! now I can exercise my thumbs in recess at school.
Mr Salesman: I'm sure you can Billy, and all teh other kids will probably envy you too!!!!!!
Billy: And the best part of it, it is both cheap and smal in size!
Mr Salesman: Thats right!!! If you order it now you will only pay the smal price of 50 dollars for 2 months!! (with a very low voice: payment each second day) and thats not all, you will also get this fancy yellow and pink backpack too carry it in!!!
Billy: *tries too lift the bag, but it's too heavy for him* This bag is soooo cooool!!! I can keep all of my TV Shøp items in it!!
Mr Salesman: Thats cool Timmy!!!
Billy: It's Billy.
Mr Salesman: Anyway Vinnie, if you folks order now you will even get this special edition plastic spoon with a hole in it. Order now!!!

Uiq: We back on?
Zero: No not yet, there is still more.

Grandma: Oh dear, I dropped my medicine again, guess I'll pick it up then. Yes that would be the right thing too do yes, and then I will take it and... I... I don't remember.
Billy: Silly grandma, your old and senile! you shold go too farewell ranch!!
Grandma: Oh thats a great idea Timmy.
Billy: it's Billy!
Grandma: Vinne! Let's go too the Zoo, you can drive, your over 18 right.
Billy: I just finished 2nd class at elementary school, and we are taking you too farewell ranch.
Grandma: ZzZzZzZzZzZzZ <_< >_> You said something Billie?
Billy: It's Billy!!!!
Grandma: Don't shout too me young man!! I'll spank you a good one now *does so*
Billy: Owowowow, mr Salesman help!
Mr Salesman: Hi folks!!!! now you can take your old people too farewell ranch where we guarantee that they won't make it the week. For only 1'000'000'000 Canadian dollars, we even throw in a tombstone for them!!!!!! Wich has neat war heros name printed on them!!!!
Grandma: ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ
Billy: Will 5 dollars do?
Mr Salesman: Wow! American dollars! I'm rich!!!!!!!!!!

Farewell Ranch, the best place for your old beloved ones!

Back too the exiting episode of ROTL!

Uiq: *yawn*
Zero: It's your line now...
Uiq: Right, prepare too die now Zero!!
Zero: Haha, you can't kill me as long as I have my Recover Jutsu!!
Uiq: Well then I'll just have too One Hit KO you.
Zero: meep!
Uiq: Secret Jutsu! Ultima no Jutsu 2nd edition!!!!!

The screen goes black as we hear lots of painfull screams and things breaking or blowing up. Suddently it all goes silent... BUT THEN it starts again!!! and we continue hearing Zeros painfull screams as he is mauled by an unseen force, just then a staff truns the lights back on.

Staff: Sorry! my bad.
Uiq: It has been done. Zero is no more.
Zero: ...
Uiq: *dumps Zero over the cliff* Well then, who wants pizza!
A lot of people: YAY!
Uiq: Cuzz, Zero is buying!! *holds up Zeros fat wallet*

I am the ruler of the land!
Homer: Mmmmmh Pizza.

 

[Neophos]

*Darkness spreads over the sky, a dark and evil noise is sounding, the evfil ones are coming, and the machines are gonn-*

Uiq: No Terminator 2 in my castle!
Neo: ey, it was the best part!
Uiq: it was the start you seen it milliions of times before!
Neo: ok, i gonna challenge you then...
*Neophos draws a gigantic broadsword, 40 cm wide blade, 6 cm thick, 240 cm long, sharpened enough to cleave anything...*

Neo: Just.....give....me...a minute...or....so....to...lift this...
Uiq: ok...

*UltimaIQ goes to the guards and confiscate the pr0n magasine, and start "reading" it himself*

*40 minutes later*

Neo: There! i have it up on my shoulder! Now ph33r my l33t blade skillZ!!

*Neophos just lets the blade fall of his shoulder towards UltimaIQ, who dodges gracefully*

Uiq: hah! IQ = 0 no jutsu!
Neo: L33t pow3r5 pwn j00 yes jitsu!!

*UltinmaIQ summons a enourmus amount of knives, to zoom towards Neophos. Neophos summons a haXXor.*

l33t HaXXorZ: This board is boring....*gone*
Neo: wtf?? i need you! youre my only chance!!
Uiq: haha! feel defeated!

*Neophos gets stabbed by loads of knives, leaving him bleeding on trhe floor*

Uiq: Ultima will not surrender his castle this easy!
Neo: Must....win.....use.....terrible....unfair....final.....weapon....

*While UltimaIQ laughs at his victory, Neophos crawls towards a hidden closet in the wall*

Neo: hey IQ!
Uiq: What? get out of here!
Neo: look at your Naruto collection...

*Neophos throws a torch from somewhere on the closet, which quickly burninates itself to doom*

Uiq: what....?? no.....no.....NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

*UltimaIQ lays down on floor, crying like a beaten baby*

Neo: Medipac!

*Neophos regains health*

Neo: well, Ultima. bye bye.

*Neophos shoves the crying Ultima to a bottomless cliff and kicks him out*


well, now im....

The ruler of this land! i pwn!

 

[Zero EXE]

*Walks into throne room*

MAN, what a day, I can't wait to...

*notices Neophos in the room*

...........uh.....crap...guess my stunt double kicked the bucket, eh?

*Grabs trusty broom handle*

RELINQUISH THE THRONE!! I KNOW HOW TO USE THIS!

*jabs broom handle at Neophos*

Neophos- agh, *poke, poke* quit it, *poke poke* QUIT IT!

*Draws his sword and attacks, only to notice there's no solid ground under his feet*

...enjoy your trip:D .

*Neophos plunges into the endless pit*

.....well, I guess...


I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND!.....again.

 

[DarkSideMarth]

(at home)
MOmr0n! in my house?

me: I WAS FRAMED YOU SET ME UP YOU SET ME UP!!!! oh c'mon
the Cheat, tell him that he.. ya know... set you up

Cheat:meener mee meenre phmee (continues in unison with me)

ME: YOU SET ME UP YOU SET ME UP! YOU SET ME UP!

(back at the castle)

Zero: ya that's right me and my broom stick, yes we rule!(baby talk to stick) yes we do don't we? yes we do yes we doo! say yes we do!(normal voice now) GUARDS! HAVE WE RESTOCKED MY SODA YET?

Guard 2: no not yet sir!

Guard 3: YA that"s right we would have been done earlier BUT guard 1 is busy lookin at dirty magazines.

Zero: ARRG! what keeps you infidels goofing off at every single opportunity?

Guard 1still not looking up form mag) maybe it's because of the job security.

Guard 3: ya that might be it but, why do we have security, I mean with rulers changing every few hours?

Guard 2: I see what you mean With rulers always changing, they don't have time to fire us.

Guard 1puts down mag, Zero snaches it up and starts drooling) precisely.

Guard 3: wow Guard 1, your smarter than you look

Guard 1: shut up

Narrater: suddenly, all three guards drop to the guards drop dead and DarkSideMarth steps over their bodies, sword unsheathed, blood all over it and his desert eagle pointed squarely at Zero's chest.
Zero looks up from mag and pees himself and dies. DArkSideMArth takes up the throne once more and bellows:

I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND!

 

[Zero EXE]

Oh for the love of God, how many of my stunt doubles have to be killed in a single day?

*walks back into throne room, only to see DSM sitting in the throne with his eyes fixed on a magazine*

....ohhh my gawd, that's....just.......guh... *shiver*.

*opens trapdoor and shoves DSM and the throne into the abyss, then presses the throne despenser button.*

I was NOT going to sit in that throne after he befouled it.

anyway..
I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND!

and for the record: I'VE NEVER HAD OR NEEDED ANY GAURDS!

 

[aussie]

Um Zero there's a spider on you.

Zero: AARRRRGGG get in off (while jumping up and down)

Mean while i sit down and become the RULER OF THE LAND.

 

[DarkSideMarth]

(falling in the abyss)
ME: YAWN!! zero needs a new way of de-throning people.
hey look, zero's mag...(shoots it, it blows up in a fiery ball which tragical, kills me.)

(in heaven)
GOD: hey, dude! we meet again.
me: yah this must be like the *random number* time I died eh?
GOD: yes, it must be, honestly i do not know. there have been so many people in and out of this place and it seems that you are the only one who visits me.
me: ya, it must be rough...hmm...ANYway, is there a way that you could bestow upon me some angelic powers?
GOD: no, I loaned all powers to UIQ2 a long time ago.
me: okay, can I have my hookshot now?
GOD: ya sure.
Me: cool beans. (I teleport out)

(back at casle)

Aussie: A HAHAHAHAHA.. i LAUGH AT ZERO.
(i teleport into nerby broom closet and destroy zero's bromstick)
Me: hahahaha
(I bust out of broom closet and beguin to duel with aussie after a long hard battle, i get tired of it and i just gank aussie with my HOLY HOOKSHOT!)


I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND

 

[SakuraPichu]

BWAHAHAHA!
i have returned to rule once again! and what's this? a n00B!?
well i guess i can deal with you.

i walk up to the throne looking like i was curious about this new ruler.
Sakura: Hello i returned from a long journey and was curious about the new ruler.
DarkSideMarth: hello person not worth my time. what are you so curious about in me?
Sakura: i was curious to see if your gullible.
DarkSideMarth: i asure you that i'm not gullible>
Sakura: Really? then why it there somthing there?
DarkSideMarth:where?
Sakura: There in the dungeon. *points to the stairs the dungeon*

DarkSideMarth runs form his throne to the dungeon area where i have various gaurds capture him, chain him up on the wall and leave him there for a long time.

Sakura: wow that was easier thatn i thought.

I am ruler of the Land!

 

[DarkSideMarth]

ME: CRASP!! Every thime I take the trone some person jest comes and steals it from me WHYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Guard1: NOBODY CARES!!!!

ME: mumble mumble

Guard1: yah thaT'S RIGHT KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE!
(the guard walks past my cell)

Me: why cam't this be like most video games where they lock you up and drop the keys as the guard walks by....hmm....*sigh*
( guard walks by again, drops keys )
Me: Holy moley!(yah that's right I still use that expression) now all I need is for the guard to fall asleep in his chair. (guard does so) YES!!!! oh wait I am still chained to this wall...hmmm.....AHA!
I will use my S.N.T (super ninja telekenesis)! WEEE NO WEEENO!
(keys begin to float towards me) YES!!!!!!!!! (uses S.N.T. to use keys to unlock shackles) GREAT!!! SP locked me in a Jail much like the Gerudo one in OoT! HOLY HOOKSHOT! FIRE!! (latches onto window and jumps out into the castles kitchen)

Me: SWEET LADY FREEDOM LET'S MAKE OUT!!!

(in the throne room)

SakuraPichu: hahahahahahahahaha! stupid n00b! (gloats and frolicks around in throne room) [SIZE=!] growl grumble[/SIZE] ohhh my stomach... COOKS! Prepare me a feast!

(back in the kitchen)
Me: ahh a feast! the perfect time for an ambush!!

(back to the throne room)
(the cooks are bringing in meals on silver platers and the main course arrives on a covered dish)
SP: ahhh it all smells real good...TIME TO EAT!! (digs into the food like a greedy......uh you know..greedy thing.)
OPEN THE MAIN DISH!!!
(the covered dish is opened and i rush out and stad SP with my sword, then SP is rushed off to the hospital to stay in a coma for a very long time.)
I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND!!

 

[LHS_LOSER]

I call my friend bob the towman and he tows your throne away and replaces it with my throne and I win!




NOW I AM RULER OF THE LAND!!!!!!

 

[DarkSideMarth]

bob calls you and says that you didn't pay for the tow and he picks you up and hauls you to jail
then i come in and sit on the throne

I am the ruler of the land

 

[LHS_LOSER]

I get out after 3 months with good behavior and when I get to the castle I realize it is heavily gaurded so I attack in full force and after 10 minutes of bombardment I realize that the castle was made of paper mache so I walk in bust out my nine and cap DSM then sit on the throne with him bleeding at my feet


NOW I AM RULER OF THE LAND!!!!!

 

[DarkSideMarth]

i use a potion then wake up and hack of your ankles with my sword and then you die and then I sit on the throne with YOU bleeding at my feet
I AM RULER OF THE LAND

 

[LHS_LOSER]

god desides I am more deserving and he smites you like the mighty smiter that he is and I sit on the throne

NOW I AM RULER OF THE LAND!

 

[Sauron]

Fool. Your power is nothing compared to the Dark Lord! *I strike you down with strength you have never seen before*

I am the Ruler of the Land!

 

[link_fanboy17]

I walk in to the castle with two of my friends (mabey you know them Frodo and Smeagol aka Gollum). I walk into the throne and...

Sauron: You pittiful beings stop and bow down to me.

Me: Go **** your self.

Sauron: Gaurds take him away. ( gaurds take me away and throw me in the moat)

Frodo: We have come to give you this.
*Pulls out the ring *

Smeagol: Stop me want'ss to do it.

Frodo: no it my curse

Gollum: Fine we's take it away
* bites of Frodos finger ( and head ) and takes the ring * My PRECIOUS No
We want's to ask you to marry us.
* shows Sauron the ring *

Sauron: I I dont know what to say.

Gollum: How 'boutss yess

Sauron: Okay *runs with Gollum threw the castle gates.*

Me: * I get out of the moat and enter the throne* Where is Everybody

Gaurd: Gollum and Sauron are getting married.

Me : Good for them.
* I sit on the throne *

NOW I AM THE RULER OF THE THRONE

:D

 

[Sauron]

Heh heh heh heh heh ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Do you really you can fool with that charade? I have the true One Ring, and it grants me the power to eliminate anyone I wish! *bashes you to the ground with a mightly blow from my mace*

I AM THE RULER AGAIN!!!

 

[DarkSideMarth]

A MACE? HA! What a pus weapon! You should know that i posses the one and only *GASP* HOLY HOOKSHOT! HA YOU LOSE!
okay so i walk up aand am like "so dude wherd you get that mace" and your like "i made it" and i'm like"DIE DIE DIE!!! HA I KILLED YOU!!! YOU LOSE HOMO!'' and your all like "ugh, i'm like dead" and I'm like "d*** straight your dead" and then you like die and i sit on the trone and am like
"I rule this land now beeeyotch!"

 

[Rodimus]

*trips DarkSideMarth*
w00t!

 

[LHS_LOSER]

kicks rodimus in the shin and sits on the throne while hes hopping up and down in pain


I AM RULER OF THE LAND!

 

[SakuraPichu]

As i lay in my coma... *at least i didn't die this time*

i wake up after a long, long time and skae out the cobwebs in my head angry and wanting revenge.
i then storm out of the hospital and fing my way back to my throne when i find someone else on it.
as i stand there i think of a simple but highly effective idea to get my throne back.

Sakura: *walks up to the thone* hello now current ruler of the land.
LHS_LOSER: Yes?
Sakura: i have a question for you.
LHS_LOSER: and that would be?
Sakura: ... um...
LHS_LOSER: well?
Sakura: well... i want my throne back and i'll give you lots of money if you give it to me.
LHS_LOSER: A bribe? you want me to give up the throne for a bribe? ok, then i can come back later and use the money.
Sakura: thank you.
*gives the money to LHS_LOSER and he laughs like a school boy at how much money there was. he soon learns later that the money is really 1/1000th the value that it entails*

Sakura: wow, i guess greed is really powerful for people.

i sit on the throne and i am ruler of the land!

 

[Sauron]

That was pretty good. Focusing on other's weaknesses, because you have no strength of your own. Unfortunately for you, I have no weakness. *I fling you across the room with a smack of my hand*

I AM THE RULER!!

 

[Venom Dream]

I get Frodo to drop the one ring into the firey pits of fire in Mount DOOM. Sauron dies, and the ruler of the land is once again THE RULER OF THE LAND!!!

~ Azure wins! Yay!

 

[DarkSideMarth]

nonononononononono... you lose i win. *shoots you and the next poster* hahahaha!
I'm the ruler of the land

 

[LHS_LOSER]

the people revolt and throw you out then using the money bribed to me I fix the election and then in a stunning wave of glory I beat bush and kerry in the election for supreme ruler!


I am ruler of the land!

 

[DarkSideMarth]

no loser you got shot so be dead with you

I am the ruler of the land

 

[SakuraPichu]

The same bullet ricochets off loser and hits DarkSideMarth.

i am ruler of the land!

 

[Venom Dream]

LOSER's sig comes un-hinged and falls onto SakuraPichu. I take the land, I RULE THE LAND!

~ Azure

 

[link_fanboy17]

I enter the throne and tell Venom he can breath under water stupidliy he jumps into the king's pool. Starts swiming and dives. He was never seen again.

NOW I'M RULER OF THE LAND.

 

[DarkSideMarth]

me: hey fanboy, eat this
LFB: eat what?
*throws grenade down you throat and you die*
I'm THE RULER OF THE LAND

 

[Venom Dream]

Venom Dream: Hey, eat this!
DarkSideMarth: Eat what?
VD: That piece of cheese. *points across room*
DSM: Oh. Okay....
*DSM leaves to get the cheese*
*I shoot him in the back of the head*
*I type in astriks*
I RULE THE LAND!

 

[LHS_LOSER]

I call you and tell yo that the local cult ran out of virgins to sacrafice and they need your help as you rush out of the room I sneak in and sit on the throne
I AM RULER OF THE LAND!