The day quickly turns into night as a black dressed person wearing a hood over his head and face appears somewhat close too the castle wich currently a smal boy named Young Roy rules. He sneaks up too the entrance and hides in a shadow near it, waiting for someone too open it. Merly seconds later another dark character appears. It is the one and only Ultima IQ, he brutally burst through the front door that has been repaired at least 100 times just because of his lack of knowledge of using doorknobs.
UIQ: Young Roy! you are going too get smiten by by smitefull sword of smitefullness!
YR: Me Pshyco after watching http:
www.stickpage.com/dedustplay.shtml
UIQ: Good for you, but now it's smiteing time! *charges thowards Young Roy stabbing him down with his smitefull sword of smitefullness*
YR: Blargh! I am dead.
UIQ: Oh I'm not done with you yet *evil grin*
YR: ... *dead*
UIQ: *uses a Pheonix Down on Young Roy* (reviving item from FinalFAntasy for those that diden't already know)
YR: Yay! I'm back alive again... OMG why do I have a sword in my stomach?
UIQ: Sorry about that *pulls the sword out again*
YR: OMGOSH!!! *dies again*
UIQ: Oh bother *uses a second Pheonix Down*
YR: Yay! I'm back alive again... Why is there a hole in my stomach?
UIQ: Because you got stabbed by my smitefull sword of smitefullness, wich I also pulled out of you after reviving you a second time.
YR: Well, you won't kill me another time!!! *runs over too the bottomless cliff*
UIQ: Don't jump!
YR: What? I won't jump off the cliff! *holds up a smal bunny* But he would if you don't leave this castle this instant!
UIQ: How cute, you brought your little teddy bear thing here.
YR: It's NOT a teddy bear thing!! it's a real bunnywunny! *the bunny somehow manages too bite Young Roy and fit his entire hand in its mouth* Oh my God!!!! it's devouring my hand!!! *slams his hand a lot of times into a conviently placed large rock nearby* Die bunnywunny die!!!
UIQ: O_O
YR: There! *lifts the rock and throws the bunny under it* That should do it *the rock flattens the bunny cracking its bones*
UIQ: O_O
YR: Ok, so that plan failed, but how about this! *holds up a 5 dollar bill over the cliff* Hehe, leave the castle or I will drop it!
CK: OMG!!! you stole my lunch monney!
YR: Where did you come from?
CK: I... Don't know.
UIQ: O_O bunny?
YR: Can't you see I'm trying too get UltimaIQ too leave the castle.
CK: He looks pretty pretty paralysed too me.
UIQ: O_O
YR: Hes faking it, he allways does.
CK: *pokes UIQ with a stick* Hes dead allright.
YR: Wanna dump him into the bottomless cliff wich somehow people manage too get out from anyway just a few posts later so that it is realy pretty useless too dump people into it anyway and also they get revenge uppon you fo no reason at all even though you where the one too start doing it too them for no reason at all just because you wanted too rule the land a few hours before someone else would come over and dethrone you in such a matter that you would just come back later and dethrone them in a rewritten version of a previous post that was written by a demented kid who is stupid, what was I talking about again?
CK: Something about cheese I think.
YR: Yeah, lets get some cheese at the citchen.
CK: Yay!
Young Roy and CloudKid2k4 runs too the kitchen but is stopped by the black hooded man blocking the doorway.
YR: Hey, move it blokker! (popular counterstrike word)
Black Hooded Man: You are not going anywhere *Grabs YR by his throath and holds him up into the air* Tell me, why are people seeking out too become the Ruler of the Land when there is clearly no point of doing so.
YR: *tries too talk but can't*
BHM: *drops him onto the floor and steps on him with one foot holding him down* Now tell me.
YR: It's... gah... the cheese.
CK: Young Roy... I just found out I don't wanna be your friend anymore. And if you excuse me, if gonna run away like a litte girl now *slowly lifts his hand into the air and runs of screaming like a little girl passing UIQ*
UIQ: O_O
BHM: The cheese?
YR: People are after the cheese. There is endless ammounts of it in the citchen.
BHM: Your obviously lying, no one would risk their lifes for cheese.
YR: But... cheese is so 00ber.
BHM: Enough! *kicks YR*
YR: Ouchies! *flies thorugh the air falling over the bottomless cliff* You have not seen the last of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........eeeeeeeeeee......
CK: *outside* Phew, glad I could run away. I sure am glad no one saw me run away like a little girl like that.
JK: You wanna know what? You've just been X'ed, your on my hidden camera show called the Jamie Kennedy Experiment!!! there are cameras there, and there and in the bushes over there.
CK: What the ****?
JK: And we even had your mom and dad and all your siblings watch you with the rest of America live, and soon the world also will see you.
CK: *slowly raises on hand, then the other* Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!! *runs around screaming like a lite girl* I am gonna get bullied for this for the rest of my life!!!
JK: Allright people, let's move on too our next victim *all the camera crew and JK leaves the place*
CK: *sob* My life is ruined, can anything be worse than this *a car hits him and runs him over crushing his arms then backs upp again running over him again crushing his legs*
JK: Sorry about that people, forgot too say it's time for the commercials! *the car runs over CK for a third time ripping most of his clothes off*
Salesman: Hi and welcome too TV-Shøp! I am sad that I have too announce that we are finay changing or name because of the cahnge of owners of this licensed co-op. We will now be known as TV-Sh@p! And we have also a new great website too offer you our fatelfull customers!!! find us at ww&w.tvsh@p/dontblameusifyougetrippedoff.***.
Billy: Wow mr salesmann, our new owner sure is great, he even gave me 20 dollars too tell people how great he is.
Salesman: He sure is Timmy, adn now I would like too prestent our newest product for sale.
Billy: I'm Billy.
Salesman: Sure you are Tommy.
Billy: Billy!
Salesman: Since I am an adult I would like too think I know your name a lot more than you do Thomas.
Billy: It's Billy!!!! you son of a ***** who had two dads and (...) and (...)!!!! I swear too God I will kill you when you sleep!!!!
Salesmen: Someone call securety, that nameless kid is rioting again.
Securety: Hes too raged, we have too tranq him. *hits BIlly in the head with a tranq rifle* That should do it. Ummmh, whats that red stuff thats comming out of his head.
Securety2: I dunno, they never told us about that in traning.
Securety: Whatever it is, my thrustfully Tranq rifle will put a stop too it! *hits Billy countless times with the rifle* Oh no! more red stuff.
Salesman: You do know its called blood.
Securety: Blood? whats that?
Securety2: Wait, wait, I know this one. I read it on a milk pack that blood is a important ingridiense in pie.
Securety: Mmmmh pie. Let's go make some pie right now.
Securety2: Yeah, we can use some of Billys 'blood' too make pie.
Salesman: Ummmh, I hope we can edt some of that away.
Cameraman: It's a live take, millions of people saw that just now.
Salesman: Wow, we have millions of viewers?
Cameraman: Did I say millions again? I obviously meant a few die-hard fans of our great products, adn probbably some of them stopped trusting TV-Sh@p after seeing that incident with Billy.
Salesman: Anyhoo, we here on TV-Sh@p proudly present you our newest, greates, most ULTIMATE product ever. Its called the Super Duper Smash Bros Paper Clip!!! You all must think its just a paperclip, but thats where you are wrong, they are paperclips with your favorite Super Smash Bros Melee character printed on them, look closely, theres DKs hand, and over there is Peach on Icicle Mountian while the wind blows her skirt a little... Let, me take a closer look... OMG!!! I can see her undies!!! How much does this cost? I want one myself!!!
Cameraman: Look at the script.
Salesman: Ah the script.... 5000£ each? how much is that in american dollars?
Einstein: Zat is gut, ich kann helpfen you with zat mathematic problem. Letz zee... If meine calculator iz correct it iz about 2764932.95$ and ze E=mc2.
Salesman: Buy it now!... I realy mean it, buy it NOW IT SHOWS PEACHES UNDIES!!!!!!!!!! and now back too Ruler of the Land.
CK: Man, it got much worse. My arms and legs are broken, my clothes are gone, what more can go wrong? *hears a annoying music closing up, it's nothing more than a huge gay-parade passing the castle* OMG noooooooo! *gets stepped on by thousands of proud gay men and woman marching for their rights and stuff I don't realy know why they are marching in the first place*
Back inside the castle.
BHM: Now then, let's see if the castle realy holds an endless ammounts of cheese like that bug told me.
???: I can't let you do that!
BHM: Who are you?
???: I am Dale, the sandwich master, and I need that cheese for my sandwiches.
BHM: Like I care *throws of his black hood and black clothes revealing his true self*
The black hooded man now reveals himself too be a guy in a knights armor wearing a sword and a way oversized shield. Having a cross neclase around his neck. (Crusader in Ragnarok Online)
BHM: I am Grand Cross X. Formerly know as UltimaIQ.
Dale: But UIQ is standing right over there.
UIQ: O_O
GCX: Thats just a mere disguised puppet I have mindcontrolled. *the fake UIQ falls over and his disguise fades away reavealign him as no other than Ace(Fox)*
Ace: Huh? where am I? I dreamt I was in Tellietubby land and played happily with Barney the dinosaur and Mr T was there too gun down all the evil rabbits and sun babies, then suddently a dark man appeared and made all the tubby guys goo poof and Mr T had a glas of water, b it had a sleeping pill in it, then I donæt remeber anyhting else.
GCX: Fool, you where mindcontrolled too do my evil... I mean... Evil plan!
Ace: Ultiguy? is that you?
GCX: No, now go back too sleep, Barney is waiting for you *pulls a lever and Ace falls into a basement*
Ace: Ouchies, that hurt.
???: I love you, you love me.
Ace: Barney?
???: Yes, Barney.
Ace: Yay!!!... Your not Barney, your MJ!!
MJ: Aw, but I always wanted too be Barney, so I could hug little kids.
Ace: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!
Dale: Yo, why have I not said anything for a long time? Lazy writer.
GCX: Well, I should terminate you now.
Dale: No, wait, let me just grab a few bags of cheese then I'll be on my way too rob our local bakery for bread, here, I'll give you a dollar if you let me go.
GCX: Sound good too me.
Dale: Great.
GCX: Great, but I still feel like killing someone.
Dale: Why dont you get SakuraPichu? Shes hiding behind the TV.
SP: Waah! I've been spotted! *hides under the couch instead*
GCX: I don't see anyone behind the TV.
Dale: Hmmmm, me neither when you mention it.
SP: Phew.
GCX: lets release the hounds too search for her.
Dale: Good idea my friend.
The dogs quickly seek out SakuraPichu, and not ahving been fed in several days they get a fine meal.
Dale: Wow, that was like... wow.
GCX: Yeah...
Dale: I'll be going now.
GCX: Not so fast Dale.
Dale: Huh?
GCX: You gotta pay a toll too leave from the castle with that cheese.
Dale: Your not serious.
GCX: Let me see, four plastic bags full of cheese, how much would that be.
Einstein: Ich kann helpfen sich with zat math!!! *Einstein enters the castle in real swat style by a rope from the roof* Now let mich zhink.... 4 + a lot of bunch of money = 5 millions of shinies for ze armored man.
GCX: Thanks Einstein. Just a question though, didne't you like die several years ago?
Einstein: Nein!! zat waz meine brother. Ich ist still young.
Dale: 5million in toll? what if I cant pay?
Einstein: Zen you wilst die *blasts Dales head off with a shotgun*
GCX: Thanks Einstein.
Einstein: You iz welcome.
GCX: say, could you help me with my math homework.
Einstein: Sure, ich liebe math and stuff like zat.
Be patient, Ruler Of the Land is not over yet. But now its time for a bonus scene that takes place before this story started.
SaberAnt: *In a hospital somewhere in nowhere* Whew, I sure am glad I survived that car that hit me while driving in 100 miles a hour, allthough I lost half my body, all my teeth, a kidney, my left eye and my... family jewles.
UltimaIQ: Hiya SaberAnt!
SA: OMG! stay away from me!!! *rolls his wheelchair out of the hospital and onto the freeway where the gay-parade is marching* Waaaaaaaaah!!!! *Is hit by a car driving for 100 miles per hour again that is also driving over most of the parade in a GTA style.
Back too the story.
GCX: Hmmmm, the castle seems pretty empty without any enemies around. I wonder if I should call someone.
Venom Dream: No need. I ws just finished in the bathroom, and now I shall dethrone you.
GCX: But I have yet too actually announce that I am the ruler.
VD: ... Then I could just sit on the throne and be the ruler *quickly runs thowards the throne* Oooooo, whats that pretty green light on the throne, maybe if I thouch it *the motion sensor bomb explodes instantly star KOing Venom Dream*
GCX: Oh goddy, my first KO, now I'm ranked 964393402210 on the list.
-=Marth_n_Roy=-: Well, I am ranked 34985739, so I am better than you!
GCX: Where did you come from, and whats that smell?
MnR: Whatever is thrown in the thrashcans are free for all, so I grab everything I want from there
GCX: Yeah, about that. Dirty people will no longer be allowed in the castle.
Chaoser: What? But I showered 2 months ago!
GCX: Not another one.
Chaoser: Thats right homies, the niggah is back in tha hood, you know what im saying *lights a sig*
GCX: Also the new law that says that all smokers are allowed too be shot at sight is implenteded.
Chaoser: Whatcha sayin'? no more smokies?
MnR: I feel ignored.
GCX: Yeah. But I will have too kill you now.
Chaoser: Wait, I got a few hoes and 13 kids and a dog that likes ice cream
![Cry :cry: :cry:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/cry.gif)
GCX: How many of them smoke.
Chaoser: All of them execpt the baby... no wait, she started already, such a good girl.
GCX: Impressive. But I thought you where like 16 years old.
Chaoser: Thats right homes, but mah monney is tha powar.
GCX: <_< >_> *pulls the lever again making Chaoser drop into MJs basement*
Chaoser: !!!!!!!****!!!!!! *sees Ace in the corner of the room sitting with his arms around his body*
Ace: Barney-is-not-real. Barney-is-a-rapeist-named-MJ. Barney-is-not-real. Barney-is-a-rapeist.
Chaoser: Ace?
Ace: Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!! *throws his shoes at chaoser*
Chaoser: Heyhey, calm down. We gotta get out of here before MJ gets here.
MJ: Who said I left? *appears from a shadow just a few inches from choaser*
Chaoser: Waaaaaah!!!
GCX: *peeping into the basement form the hatch several feet above* Having fun down there?
Ace: Barney-is-not-real. Barney-is-a-rapeist-named-MJ. Barney-is-not-real. Barney-is-a-rapeist.
Chaoser: Nooooooooo!!!!
MJ: Yeah, lots of fun!
GCX: Glad you all like it, and now.
I am the Ruler of the Land!
(for those that already forgot, I UltimaIQ (ultimaiq2) Have changed my SWF name too Grand Cross X, and will most likely never use the ultimaiq2 account ever again. Hope you all enjoyed this rather short story about me and friends having a fun time at the castle in the Ruler of the Land)