Ruler of The Land

[GoldShadow]

Your linguistic skills and grammar suck. You said "while it was teaming with," whereas the grammatically correct method of expressing this thought would have been "while it was teeming with." Therefore, my vastly superior linguistic and grammatical abilities have far surpassed yours, and I hereby declare myself ruler of this land.

I am ruler of the land!

 

[paperboy]

*shows goldshadow the aging certificate of winnage that i've had since the last 10 pages*

*certificate makes a boot, and kicks Goldshadow*

"I had to make this real quick"

I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND!

 

[Dale]

Ok, I'll make mine quick too...

*grabs a pitchfork from the farmer outside the castle*
*charges into the castle yelling like a scene from "Brave Heart"*
paperboy can only watch as I run at him
paperboy: *can only watch*
I run all the way up to him with my pitchfork and I stabz him...a lot. And I can only hope that it hurts.
paperboy: man, this hurts. *bleeds*
I give the body to my "cannibal of the court" and he has a good time.

I stick the pitchfork into the new beanbag just to pi$$ off ultimaiq.

I am the ruler of the land.

 

[ultimaiq2]

Ultimaiq: Finaly I Ultima IQ have made a new clone army, but this time I made 9999 clones and now we will storm the castle.
Random person: Exuse me, but who are you talking too?
Ultimaiq: Ultimaiq56 destroy that man!
Ultimaiq56: My pleasure *neck snaps*
Ultimaiq: Now we march over to the castle.
Soldier: Sir Dale, Ultimaiq's army is coming for the castle.
Dale: Did you just call me sir?
Soldier: Sir, yes I did sir.
Dale: Sir Dale, I like that.
Soldier: But the enemy.
Dale: Hes little army won't stand a chance against my forces, how many do he got?
Soldier: About 9999 sir. *the soldier is killed by Dale*
Dale: Wops, my bad.
Ultimaiq: Nr 567 and 568 will break open the castle gate, Nr 44 and 45 will take the back door, and the rest of you just kill anyone not named Ultimaiq#, and save Dale for me.
*A lot of killing and destroying later*
Dale: I've been expecting you Ultimaiq, so I prepared something for you. *holds up the beanbag and a BIG knife*
Ultimaiq: Do you think even for ONE second that I even care about that cheaply priced beanbag.
Dale: *puts the knife closer to the beanbag*
Ultimaiq: You woulden't dare.
Dale: Hah but thats when you are wrong, I do dare to take out your precious beanbag. *Ultimaiq3 and 4 are sneaking up behind Dale*
Ultimaiq: Don't you see that if you take out that beanbag your life will end faster than you can say good-bye.
Dale: Tell your men too withdraw!!!!!
Ultimaiq: *snaps fingers* Mission canceled.
Dale: Mwahahaha I never lose! Ugh!! *got stabbed from the back by Nr 3* I won't die alone. *cuts beanbag*
Ultimaiq: Nooooooooo!!!
Ultimaiq3: Shall we kill him?
Ultimaiq: No take him to the 'place'
Ultimaiq3: Your an evil, evil man.
Ultimaiq: Yes I know.
Dale: Huh? where am I?
Unknown voice: Oh Dale so good of you to join my tea party.
Dale: Oh no! I remember that voice it's...
MJ: Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
Dale: Someone please kill me, quick!!

I am the ruler of the land! and Dale is going nowhere because we aputated his arms and legs, yes I know im evil. (Oh yeah, thats not the real MJ but an evil clone).

 

[Lightning Snake]

*I come in through the wall and once again end up in the prison*
Lightning Snake: Why is it that no matter which wall I come through I always end up here?
Michael Jackson clone: Heh heh heh heh he-
*He is stopped by Dullahan panicing and smashing the clone's head clean off with his sword*
Dale: Please heal me!
Lightning Snake: Alright, but on one condition.
Dale: You name it! * He is healed. He gets up and sees Dullahan.*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-gack! *Dies of a heart attack, after wetting himself.*
Lightning Snake: Guess I'll have to use plan B.
Later...
*I enter the throne room accompanied by the "baby" giant snakes, Catastrophe and Dullahan.*
Ultimaiq: Ah, Lightning Snake, we finally meet.
Lightning Snake: What are you going on about? We've met before!
Ultimaiq: um... CLONES GET HIM!
*I press a button and all the clones are disintergrated
Lightning Snake: That is my clone disruptor. But, I think I'll kill you one on one. *I draw a katana*
*Before Ultimaiq can draw his weapon Dullahan runs in and smashes his head off.*

I am the ruler of the land!

 

[SabreAnt]

Disappointed at ultimaiq2's lack of respect for a detailed post, SabreAnt regrets ever performing his summon. He uses a healing balm and Multagean grimaces painfully, stroking its wounds.

Eden is a real summon. Multagean is made up. have some imagination

Apparently 'killed' SabreAnt points out that no-one dies in this thread, because they ruddy well cant. Having the whole experience cheapened by dialogue battles, SabreAnt decides to simply ask Lightning Snake for the throne.

SA: May I have the throne? Feel free to ask the same favour of me in the future.
LS: Ok then. I'll hold you to that though.

LightningSnake gets up and walks out. SabreAnt takes his position.

SabreAnt is now Ruler of the Land.

 

[ultimaiq2]

Ultimaiq: *thinks* so if no one can realy die, what do I do too remove people from the throne?... I got it!!
SabreAnt: Hah the ask friendly for the throne worked like a charm.
Ultimaiq: *dressed up as a guard* Sir SabreAnt you have to go too the prison quick, a crasy man is destroying stuff down there.
SabreAnt: Why don't the guards take care of it?
Ultimaiq: Because they all have been eaten by a monster.
SabreAnt: Time too save the day! *runs out of the throneroom*
Ultimaiq: *follows SabreAnt*
SabreAnt: There is no one here?
Ultimaiq: Thats right, and now you are my prisoner.
SabreAnt: Why don't you just kill me?
Ultimaiq: Ah you see, when you get killed you get revived and get another chance of taking the throne back see, but if your being held alive here you won't pose much of a threath right?
SabreAnt: Hey you can't do that!
Ultimaiq: we'll see. *leaves the prison, closes the gate and throws the only key into the toilet and flushes*
SabreAnt: Good thing MJ isen't here.
Unknown voice: I may not be MJ, but im a lot more evil.
SabreAnt: And who are you?
Old man: Im an old man that likes too talk about boring stuff too random people.
SabreAnt: Noooooooooo!!
Ultimaiq: Ok, that was mean. I think I'll just send another old man down there, muahahahaha!

I am the ruler of the land!

 

[FoX_KiLLz]

FoX_KiLLz: *Approaches the throne* Hey, do you mind if I make this quick?
ultimaiq2: No, not at all.
FoX_KiLLz: So can you just walk into the prison with Michael Jackson please?
ultimaiq2: Yeah, sure.
FoX_KiLLz: Thank you.
ultimaiq2: No problem. *Walks into prison with Michael Jackson*

I am Ruler of the Land!

 

[pokemonmaster01]

I briefly change my name to "FaLco_KiLLz"

FoX, realizing that he has been living a lie, becomes inconsolable with depression and refuses to live any longer. No longer caring what happens, he is convinced (by me) to sign over all legal rights of the throne to yours truly.

Shortly after he bites the dust, I easily become...

...Ruler of the Land!

 

[Dale]

Dale: Hey pokémonmaster
PM: ?!?! WTF are you doing here? I though MJ killed you like 12 posts ago.
Dale: Maybe he did and maybe he didn't
PM: Well, what do you want?
Dale: I'll tell you. I wan.....(interrupt'd)
PM: AHH! I know what you want. You want my throne don't you? Well you can't have it.
Dale: Actually I just wanted to introdice you to some of my friends...
PM: Oh, ok then.
Dale: Ok guys, come on in.
*In walks Gene Simmons and Peter Chris*
PM: OMG!! It's Gene Simmons and...and...who are you?
Peter: I'm Peter Chris. I'm the drummer.
PM: Oh I remember now. Hey, aren't you dead?
Peter: Yeah, I OD'd on something.
PM: So, Gene, what's up?
Gene: *sticks tongue out*
*pokémonmaster becomes a little scared*
*Gene looks at me and I nod*
*Gene then devoures pokémonmaster*
Worried for my own safety I decide to leave the throne in charge of Gene Simmons.
Why Peter Chris was in the post I have no Idea. I guess it's because he's dead...and forgotten by many.
So anyway...Gene Simmons is the Ruler of the Land...
Strange isn't it?

 

[SabreAnt]

The old man has talked about random things for so long that he has fallen asleep himself! Nodding at ultimaiq2, the two of them work together and grab hold of the man who is snuggled up to MJ, who is battered and bruised due to ultima's rejection of him, and wrap the old man, together with MJ in a hessian bag and lean them up against the metal bar door. On the count of 3, they charge!

***CRUNCH***
All of MJ's ribs get broken, but hey! He aint complaining...

Again!, says SabreAnt and again they crash into their cushioned target. The door creaks. One more time thinks SabreAnt. BAMMO! The door is knocked clean of its hinges and the bag crumples in a heap. The occupants hopefully dead, or a at least KO'd. SabreAnt and ultimaiq2 go there separate ways at the end of the corridor.

Ascending the stairs to the fabled throne room, SabreAnt conjours a plan of epic proportions..

Entering the room, SabreAnt is greeted by a long wet pink piece of flesh! AGH! ITS MJ! Thinks SabreAnt... but hang on.. its pointed. Its a tongue! SabreAnt grabs hold of it and drags it to a nearby launchpad and ties it to a rocket. The rocket goes off into space and gets tied around the moon by being pulled off-course by the tongue. It them starts to get pulled down to the Earth and Gene Simmons starts screaming and running around! He locks himself in the broom closet and hides.


ZIGGA-BLAMMUFSKA!!

The moon crushes the castle and Gene Simmons with it. We think. SabreAnt nabs the throne and pops in on top on the surface of the moon (now on Earth) and declares himself ruler.

SabreAnt is now Ruler of the Land.

 

[Lightning Snake]

*I hike up to the top of the moon where there is now another castle*
Lightning Snake: Hey, Sabre Ant, remember our deal?
Sabre Ant: I was hoping you would forget...
Lightning Snake: I'll give you a pizza!
Sabre Ant: Deal!

I am the ruler of the moon!

 

[ultimaiq2]

Ultimaiq: *talks too a cloaked man* From now on we go easy on SabreAnt ok?
C-man: Why?
Ultimaiq: Because he helped me getting out of the castle and away from MJ.
C-man: Ummm, look behind you.
Ultimaiq: ??? Oh no! my beanbag has been crushed by that huge cheese!
C-man: Thats the moon.
Ultimaiq: I knew that.
C-man: Lets just get the ruler ok?
Ultimaiq: *hikes up on the moon*
Lightning Snake: What the? you alive?
Ultimaiq: Yes I am, and I brought a friend.
Lightning Snake: A 'something' dressed in black?
C-man: I am, Omegaiq (Omega IQ is a character in my comic, hes actually Ultima IQ's nemesis)
Lightning Snake: *looks around* Why do you want the throne this time? theres nothing here.
Ultimaiq: I want the cheese!
Omegaiq: The moon!
Ultimaiq: Have it your way.
Lightning Snake: Guards get them! *nothings happens* Oh fuc_, I forgot SabreAnt crushed them all.
Ultimaiq&Omegaiq: Duo Desolate!!
Lightning Snake: Blargh I died!... No im still alive, haha you two are weak!
Ultimaiq: *Presses a button on his watch*
Lightning Snake: What now? *A huge bird grabs Lightning Snake* Heeeelp meeeeee! *voice fades as hes taken away*

I am the ruler of the moon!

 

[Lightning Snake]

*The bird drops me into a hatch. Turns out it was the hatch of a space shuttle*
Announcer: Mission to the moon will commence in T minus 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
Lightning Snake: Hey I'm in one of booster engines! Oh sh-
Announcer: We have lift off!
*As the Rocket goes into space to a moon that isn't there the booster engine I have some how survived being in is jettesonned and lands on the grounded moon next to Ultimaiq. He is burnt to ashes by the remaining flames. This means...*

I am the ruler of the moon!

 

[pokemonmaster01]

I survived being crushed by the moon by hiding in a protective pod (a.k.a. Gene Simmons). With a plastic spoon he accidentally swallowed during lunch, I tunnel upwards (wtf?!) through the moon. Silently, I sneak up behind Lightning Snake and hit him on the head with a moon rock. While he is unconscious, I throw him down the pit that I made, a fall that no human can survive. Assuming he is dead, I am now ruler of the... moon, I guess.

 

[ultimaiq2]

Omegaiq: Hah! that Lightning Snake forgot to take me out. *revives Ultimaiq:
Ultimaiq: Hey thanks man.
Omegaiq: Give me 5 bucks and we're even.
Ultimaiq: Got change for a 10?
Omegaiq: No. *takes the 10*
pokemonmaster01: Hey why are you on my errrh, moon? are you my slaves?
Ultimaiq: Why yes we are. And its custom for the slaves to do certian things to they're master.
pokemonmaster01: Like doing whatever I tell you?
Ultimaiq: Yes.
pokemonmaster01: Then bring me a new throne, this rock is too hard.
Ultimaiq: Yes sir, *picks up pokemonmaster01*
pokemonmaster01: Hey what the?
Ultimaiq: I got an better idea, why don't you become ruler of the ground. *throws pokemonmaster01 off the moon*
pokemonmaster01: Uaaaaaaaaaaah!! *crash!!* ... *not moving at all*
Omegaiq: Hey you diden't save anything for me.
Ultimaiq: Look over there.
Lightning Snake: Finaly I got out off that hole.
Omegaiq: Banzai!!! *takles Lightning Snake so that he falls off the moon*
Lightning Snake: I'll beeeeeee baaaaaack!!! *crash!!* ...

I am the ruler of the moon!

 

[Dale]

Well, the moon is on my castle...or what's left of it and I'm not too happy about that. So I start a conversation with the moon and it agrees to go back into space. The moon goes back into space and everybody in the moon-castle and it's MJ dungeons become exploded in the vacuum of space.

I am once again the ruler of St. Croix.

 

[Lightning Snake]

I Activate a long dormant volcano beneath the castle. It erupts, destroying itself completely. The castle somehow survived, but then sank into the lava pit left that used to be the volcano's core.
This means...

I am the ruler of the lava pit!

 

[Creature_85]

But then I gather three dragon scales and throw them in the lava pit, summoning Karebo, the king of all dragons. He uses his powers to make all the lava in the pit disappear, making me ruler of the land.

I am ruler of the land!

 

[GoldShadow]

I LIKE ICE CREAM CONES!!!

Thus, I am rightful ruler of the land

 

[Blade Beast]

But, I eat every single ice cream cone in the land, and in your massive hunger you eat yourself to death,

thereby leaving me to be the ruler of the land.

 

[ultimaiq2]

But I have Kirby as my slave so that he can eat you all.

I declare myself ruler of the land! (shortest ROTL post I have made)

 

[SabreAnt]

Munching down on his last peice of pizza very enthusiastically, SabreAnt pats his tummy quite contented and sits still for a bit. His thoughts drift towards the throne and the very brief but very fun power that it holds.. 'Hmm' he ponders to himself.

He whips out a small silver scooter with a small motor attached and catches a taxi to the throne. SabreAnt then gets out of the cab but has no money to pay. Oh well, I guess you can have my scooter, he says to the cabby. Handing it over, he fixes his collar and marches over to ultimaiq2 on a mission.

SabreAnt, proceeds to describe the dangers and pitfalls of overeating and gluttony to ultimaiq2, who listens intently. SabreAnt tells him

"..and seeing as your slave is currently digesting a likely candidate of a heart attack/explosion, you had best evacuate yourself before he explodes Monty Python style.."

Seeing the danger at hand, ultimaiq2 reluctantly rushes his slave to the hospital despite the obviousness of SabreAnt's ploy to yoink the throne from him. In ultima's absence, SabreAnt does just that! Nyuk nyuk nyuk...

SabreAnt is now Ruler of the Land.

 

[Maruiniq]

Originally posted by GoldShadow
I LIKE ICE CREAM CONES!!!

Thus, I am rightful ruler of the land

since i like them too, i am also...

RULER OF THE LAND!

 

[SabreAnt]

I hire Mr Whippy to whip your a$s into shape for eating too many cones and he belts your butt hard! WAPPA-CHANG!

Hey, I can be cheap too you know?

SabreAnt is now Ruler of the Land.

 

[Creature_85]

Will then Karebo gets ticked off for being beat by a guy who likes ice cream cones, so he sets the world on fire, killing everyone.

Karebo is the ruler of the land.

 

[ultimaiq2]

You forgot that I am imune to all elements including fire, but you are not, that means...

I am the ruler of the land! (next time I'll write a longer text I promise)

 

[Corin]

*is standing on very charred ground, but still, it's ground*
I guess since I'm standing on the only piece of land left in the world with ultimaiq2... *kick*

I am now the ruler of the land!

 

[Ashu Da Stampedo]

*creates a new land, unfortunately, right on top of Corin*

I guess I'm now...

RULER OF THE LAND!

 

[Corin]

ow... *gets crushed by the new land*
I guess that makes me ruler of the land under the land?
*drills to the surface with a drill that magically appeared out of thin air* *glares at Ashu*

Corin is now ruler of the Land! and the land under the land!...I guess?

 

[Creature_85]

Then I pull out an automatic shotgun and blast away at everyone until I am ruler of the land! (cuz everyone else is dead)

 

[Ashu Da Stampedo]

*gives Creature_85 an icy stare, before slapping him upside the head with a trout*

Ashu Da Stampedo is the Ruler of teh Land!

 

[Corin]

*calls his character, alex, to the battlefield* *Alex scares ashu da stampedo away by trying to hug her*
I am now the ruler of the land!

 

[Ashu Da Stampedo]

*having had to burn her clothes after an encounter with Alex, the second gayest man in the world, Corin being the first, she returned in the nude, thus scarring Corin for life*

I'm the Ruler of teh Land! kekekekekekekekeke!

 

[Creature_85]

Determined to end it all, I pull out a nuke and blow all remains of a land we have left into oblivion and die laughing.

Nobody's the ruler of the non-existant land!

 

[Corin]

*dies and becomes the ruler of the underworld* mwahahahahaha
*kicks satan out of the throne*

 

[Ashu Da Stampedo]

Originally posted by Creature_85
Determined to end it all, I pull out a nuke and blow all remains of a land we have left into oblivion and die laughing.

Nobody's the ruler of the non-existant land!

*sighs, and has to create ANOTHER land, simply because Creature is SO UNCREATIVE to think of anyway he can become ruler that he has to blow crap up to get noticed, and after doing this turns Creature into a tiny insignifcant pile pf crap*

I'm now the Ruler of the Land.

(I'm going to start ignoring you Creature if you keep being all tardish)

 

[Gaiagamer]

But, that is not possible, for I shall play God and create a new land, in which I will be the ruler of.

So...I'm the Ruler of the Land!

EDIT: Looks like you beat me to it by a minute, so...

Me: There is a massive devil uprising in the underworld

Creature_85: Darn those fools. They'll wish they've...

*mutters the rest on his way down*

Me: Ha! You left your throne so I'll just have to take this land and rule it!

 

[Creature_85]

Using my bottled farie I always keep on me, I revive myself and shoot Ashu Da Stampedo with a tranquilizer dart because I feel like it. Then I lead an army of monkeys against Corin and take over the underworld.

I am the ruler of the land! (and the underworld)

 

[MassChaos]

but i hate jen

im not ruler of the other land