It sounds to me like what you really want is simple: to feel 'competent' enough to keep up with the 'competent' players at smash. I really believe that that is far from being beyond your capacity, and I'll tell you why. Now, I'm no master at fighting games, but I don't have to be to tell you this: Smash wasn't made to be a 'skill test.' It is a game. I know that you have heard that a million times already, but I'll show you why that is important. Like anything, it takes focus and built up skill to play the game well. As a game, however, there are many things that can obstruct your ability to execute that without a sharp mindset. When that Dedede player gimps you with Inhale offstage at 30%, that isn't reflective of how 'the game shows that the Dedede player is twice as competent as I am because he 2-stock'd me.' What really happened was the player accidentally Inhaled instead of up-B'd, and it worked out - and now you are in the mindset of being pathetic and powerless for getting styled on. Maybe you lose to one good player who is legitimately amazing at the game and so you get tilted. From there it would be easy to lose to a player that you would beat any other day. Or maybe your opponent always rolls at the perfect time - not because they mean to. In any case, your mental competency is not something that the game is a fair judge of. Your opponent's repeated crouching may be intended to communicate mockery, but I'll bet you that the intention itself is to throw you off - which implies a certain respect of your ability. It is just a game, but you can still strive for better - just don't let the game being a game get in the way of that.
I believe that you have the potential to be a good player, and that is not just me sugar-coating my message. Anyone can. The only difference with you is that what is simply upsetting to most people playing online is for you a validation of a larger anxiety. You lost to that guy who just keeps rolling? Now you are worried that your IQ has rendered you useless. It becomes hard to put yourself into a learning mood because you are having a mental crisis. Seeing the game as being indicative of your mental capacity is probably the strongest possible way to, almost literally, let the game get to your head. So your first step is going to have to be seeing the game for what it is - and not letting your failures in a video game validate a young science's prophesy that your lifetime success in every matter will be no greater than your assigned number.
Once that anxiety is conquered (Which may take some time as that is an emotional thing) you'll truly be on the same level as everyone else. You will have to be careful not to fall back into the old mindset, as experience (which is the greatest teacher) requires repeated failure, the very evidence that your mind will use to spark anxiety. But if you can avoid that first trial, only one is left: actually getting good.
As I said before I'm no master at fighting games, but I'll leave you two pieces of advice. Firstly, don't 'autopilot.' Everyone has heard that practice makes perfect, but a more realistic variant is "practice makes permanent." If you always play the game without using all of your brain, then you are limiting your own potential permanently. It will be permanent until you practice it differently. My second piece of advice, which should help to achieve the first, is to always know what you are learning. If you are "practicing" without knowing what you are practicing, you are effectively 'autopilot practicing.' Think of yourself as a student learning instead of one being tested. When you go into a game, set a learning goal. For example, I wanted to learn how to read, so I said "I'm going to look at my opponent's character and figure out how they feel when do X to see how that affects them." If you know that about any player, than you can read anyone, so I knew that what I was learning was "how to read people."
Always have a learning goal, don't autopilot, keep your eyes on your opponent when you play, and go watch some YouTube videos to learn the fundamentals of smash. That is how to learn smash. It takes investment, and you get out of it as much as you put into it. It doesn't take an IQ of 100 or greater to do that much. For you, the only extra step you will have to take will be mindset (which everyone inevitably deals with a one point or another.) Don't underestimate yourself! I wish you luck!
I am in tears right now. No matter how hard I try EVERYONE is smarter and just plain better than me. Be honest, after 2 years of trying should I give up?“
