Hoping to see a glorious reveal trailer at E3. Such as...
Onett. Ganondorf, Bowser, K Rool, and Ridley strut down the street like a gang of misfits. Ridley and K Rool roar at passersby. Bowser smashes a fire hydrant. Ganondorf walks casually in the middle of the road, stopping traffic.
In a nearby café, Link, Mario, DK, and Samus sit at a table, watching the scene with disdain through a window. Across from them sit Ness and Lucas.
A comical scream is heard, followed by Bowser’s laugh. Mario stews in anger, then speaks to the table through the form of a cartoon speech bubble. In it, we see an 8-bit Bowser kidnapping Peach. Link nods, speaking with a speech bubble that displays a tapestry scene of Ganondorf holding aloft the triforce. Suddenly, a hologram appears in the middle of the table, cast by Samus’s visor. It shows Ridley unleashing metroids on a group of fleeing aliens. The image abruptly fizzles out as DK slams the table in a rage. Across the street, he spots K Rool eating half of a banana, tossing the other half on to the street. Heresy!
The group restrains DK as we hear an “OK!” It’s Ness, doodling on a napkin with a crayon. He holds it aloft.
Eerie music sounds as we see the doodle: a crude, evil pig face hovering over a fiery globe. Link takes it and nods in appreciation -- “ahh!”. He turns the napkin around and gestures to the pig face, looking over to Lucas -- “this your guy too?”.
The group watches as Lucas’s lip trembles, a darkness coming over him. We hold on the pig face, and an ominous tune begins to play under a snorting laugh. It’s getting louder, and louder...
Lucas looks up to see the group blinking at something behind him. He turns. Ness is guarding his back -- and at the window, the villains stand ominously. An additional, shadowy figure has been added to their entourage. We pan up mechanical legs... an alien eyeball... buttons and switches... a pod... a pigish nose...
WHOOSH! With a sweep of its legs, the figure sends its villainous comrades smashing through the café window. Ness shoves Lucas aside as the villains tumble into their rivals. The snorty laugh sounds once more as the group dizzily gaze up for our first clear look at--
Porky! Spanking himself with that insufferable laugh. Porky Means Business!
Lucas shakes with rage, and leaps into action! Cue gameplay.