Tapion013
Smash Lord
This topic came back to life somehow, so I decided to put all of them in the first post, and added a few myself at the end. Look at this before you decide to add more since renumbering them all was a pain in the ***.
Enjoy!!
1.) The one time you miss your l-cancel is the one time your attack is blocked
2.) The cloud will arrive only when you do not need it
3.) The wind will blow only when it is in your opponents favor
4.) Any phantom hit you give will result in you dying
5.) The probability of you getting hit with a fully charged flare blade is directly proportionate to the amount of people watching
6.) The one time you airdodge to dodge an attack while being edge-guarded, your opponent will miss the c-stick and kill you anyway
7.) You will only pull out the chain instead of turning around with the needles when the ledgeguard would have actually killed your opponent.
8.) Any rest attempted with one life left will miss and result in losing the match
9.) The amount of stitchfaces pulled is directly proportionate to the amount of lives you have less than your opponent.
10.) If there is a fox, and there is a wall, that fox will keep you against that wall.
11.) Your bombs will work against you 80% of the time.
12.) When you think something is going to work, you're walking in to a mindgame.
13.) The probability of your jump being stolen is directly proportionate to the crappiness of your DI
14.) The probability of a missile being canceled is inversely proportionate to the knockback of the attack you're about to be hit with
15.) When entering a tournament, if there are 2 people that play a character that counters your character, those will be the first 2 you play
16.) The neutral stage you were thinking of banning but didn't because it hasn't come up, will be picked randomly that round
17.) The stage you counter pick is always perfect for your opponent's secondary character
18.) No matter how far you think you spaced your aerial, you will always be within the last pixel of reach of a grab, whether in front of or behind your opponent
19.) The probability if you missing a tech and air dodging to your death is inversely proportionate to the percentage you are at
20.) The spectularness of a combo/edgeguard/anything is inversely proportional to the likelihood of it being on tape.
21.) If you attempt to down-smash on the very edge then odds are you'll slip off into a suicidal D-air instead.
22.) The one time you need to short-hop it becomes a full-hop.
23.) You down-smash from a shield usually becomes a sidestep.
24.) When it's time to use Link's finisher you watch in horror as Link takes off into his helicopter instead.
25.) As soon as you bet money that you'll never be hit by Falcon Punch... you are hit by it. (true story)
26.) If you ditto your main against someone who has only used that character for a month then you will lose.
27.) Right as you plot your revenge your character rubs the ledge and simply refuses to grab it.
28.) Every time you win your opponent will reiterate how bad of a round that was for him. (You will never have a good round.)
29.) No, you will not win the final match of the set.
30.) And yes, it does in fact turn out that this Fox noob knows how to waveshine.
31.) Every poke'ball you throw in an items match no matter how great the odds will be mew or celebi.
32.)when you pull out a stitchface you mistaken it for a regular turnip and throw it away
33.) Whenever you and your opponent are at one stock each, and you are about to edgehog to win, you will "accidentally" airdodge to your doom.
34.) Dispite your practice, when you wavedash to ledge hog, you’ll always airdodge and fall to your death.
35.) If you aim to land on the cloud (YS) you will miss it 99% of the time and only land on the **** thing when you don't expect to.
36.) When you're coming back with your last life against a good opponent in a tournament and people start to gather and cheer you on, you suddenly miss your SHL and phantasm off of the edge to your death.
37.) the number of time you're trying to tipper your Fsmash with marth is invertely proportionnal with your stress level AND the game's importance.
38.) The barrels in the DK levels will always turn away from you
39.) If you're about to do an up B, the barrels will instead seek you out and destroy you
40.) Everytime you try and DI towards an opponent for a shinespike, you'll phantasm forward and SD instead.
41.) The amount of projectiles power-sheilded is proportional to your damage multiplied by your stock.
42.) Every time you charge up your smash attack because you "know" where the opponent will be after a laggy move, your opponent will be on the other side of you.
43.) On your last stock, your spike will always miss, leading you to a laggy death.
44.) Peach will always hit you with a stitch-face, when you believe it to be another turnip.
45.) If you have a 30% chance to guess which way they will tech, you will be wrong 80% of the time
46.) If pressing L at the proper time for an edge hog will lead to a victory, you will either press it too early, get it, and spiked off the wall, or you will to it too early, and lose.
47.) If you think you're going to get spiked, you will, and you will not meteor cancel it either.
48.) You will dodge Link's spin attack just long enough to get spiked by it.
49.) The Claptrap will only come out when you could've made it back safely
50.) You will mess up your waveshine with a fox illusion/falco phantasm only when you're close enough to the edge so that it will kill you.
51.) The likelihood of messing up your ledgehop is inversely proportional to the probability if you hitting your opponent with that ledgehop.
52.) Successfully ground dodging a shadow ball is inversely proportional to the percentage you are at
53.) The only time you do not put up your reflector/use your cape is the one time you will be shot with a fully charged blaster
54.) If a grab combo will win you the match, you will not be able to grab
55.) You likelihood that you are hit during a double jump cancel is inversely proportional to the distance away from the edge you are.
56.) The first stock is always the longest.
57.) Any time you get lucky and pull a Bomb with Peach, your opponent will blow it up in your hand, sending you to your death.
58.) The one time you chance going off the edge to meteor someone, they will meteor cancel it, and you will bounce off the stage to your death from their Up-B.
59.) The extra hit you want to tack on to make your combo even more amazing is the one that you will mess up, and get killed for.
60.) If you enter a tournament with your friends, you will always play them in the first round.
61.) When you see someone charging a smash attack, and you think you are safely out of range, the range of the attack doubles and you die.
62) No matter how many times you get hit by it, you will always forget that Link's forward smash is 2 attacks
63) The amount of bruises on your arms is proportionate to the amount of times you chaingrab your friends.
64.) When you pull out a bob-omb, the chances of your opponent powershielding it are proportional to your damage and stock.
65.) the one time you say how terrible ganon's up tilt is, you get killed by it twice.
66.) if and you opponent are both at one stock and you have more than a 30% lead you will lose
67.) Despite seeing it coming 4 seconds earlier, that attack is still somehow going to hit you.
68.) when you go to a tournament you underestimate everyone that youve never seen before
69.) If you money match someone who has never heard of advanced techs you will lose
70.) the moment you think you are undefeatable you will lose
71.) If you mess up a Wavedash or Short Hop, It will normally lead to you getting killed or comboed
72.) if playing Items, whenever a player is around 100%, all the Item Box's will explode like Bob-Bombs
73.) Even without DI, on the final stock your opponent will always survive a rest combo from Jiggz.
74.) On last stock, U-throw to Rest will always hit if your opponent is a Jiggz, and since it is you, even with DI, you will die a quick and painless death.
75.) Crazy Hand will only appear when you do not want him to
76.) Even with 5 stock, you will never kill Giga Bowwer if anybody is watching for the first time.
77.) The amount of you messing up a WD or SH or waveshine is directly porportional the the amount of people watching and how flashy you are playing
78.) the number of blaster shots you miss with falco reflects on how accurate your physical attacks will be
79.) The rate of starting a chain grab is inversely related to how high the opponent's damage is.
80.) The rate of your SDs are inversly proportional to the skill gap between you and your opponent.
81.) The one game you pull a lightsaber AND a bobomb on consecutive lives with peach is the one game your opponent capes a lightsaber and a bobomb into your face on consecutive lives while trying to recover
82.) When you see your opponent charging a forward smash you will always be hit by it when it is fully charged and as you try to run in and grab.
83.) While edgeguarding on your opponent's last stock, you will sneeze and turn a perfect edgeguard into a self-destruct.
84.) Any time you drop your Smash disc, it will ALWAYS land shiny side down.
85.) Any time you think that the mods will have a sense of humor and not close your thread, they will close it.
86.) The longer the combo you are doing, the more odds you will miss the finishing blow.
87.) If you play really good in friendlies before the tournament, you will **** it up in the tournament.
88.) If you can beat a player all the time with one stock left, he'll beat you with one stock in the tournament.
89.) When you use counter at the right moment, your opponent will accidentely miss.
90.) The odds of you beating a friend in a tournament is inversly proportional to how often you whoop his a$$ in friendlies.
91.) The chance that you will mess up fox/falco's infinite stall if inversely proportionate to your damage, and how far the opponent is from recovering.
92.) Your confidence before playing is directly proportional to the amount of times you will SD
93.) the more you trash talk during a match, the more sloppy your combos will become.
94.) The one time your able to get a hammer, the head falls off and results in you winning "The Biggest Moving Target" Award.
95.) Your opponents, however, will never lose the heads of thier hammers.
96.) The more you bash the wobbles infinite, the more difiicult it becomes to execute.
97.) If you think you're about to 4-stock someone, they will proceed gimp you of every stock until your defeat.
98.) When attempting to wave smash for the kill you will instead full hop and D-air, resulting in your immediate death.
99.) you will only ever miss a Z item catch if that item is a bobomb, causing you to sex kick yourself into oblivion.
100.)your favorite stage will always be blocked at tournies.
101.) The only time you decide to bombjump back at YS, the first bomb gets stuck on top of the cloud, causing the most unexpected death.
102.) No matter how hard you try, that 8-year-old pro will kick your ***.
103.) The chance of you not getting hit by a Ganon's warlock punch is directly proportional to the chance of a heart falling on your head during a no items match.
104.) DI will always fail after getting hit by said punch.
105.) The chance of a Top Pro level player dropping by to do doubles with you is directly proportional to the chance you beating Ken
106.) Your warlock punch will never hit while his always will.
107.) If you are spamming one attack in the 15 minute melee, you will always hit a bomb within the last 30 seconds.
108.) Nana can, and will taunt precisely when you finally get a grab.
109.) When you finally have your opponent set up for a shinespike, he'll up-B the instant you drop down from the ledge to kill him.
110.) The chances your opponent has to kill you is proportional to the amount of stock you have away from him
111.) As the number of successful bomb jumps increases , you are likely to miss your grapple beam into an airdodge to death
112.) Pokemon Stadium will switch into Fire/Rock mode while you're comboing
113.) If running up to punish an u-tilting ganon from the back, you will get hit.
114.) Just when you think you're winning, your teammate confuses you for the opponent.
115.) The one time you manage to rest a superior player, it happens to be over a chasm.
116.) The flashiest combos are always accidental, and occur in friendlies only.
117.) When u play a new, really predictable player who just spams fsmash, they somehow mess up and use usmash instead. You were expecting to block an fsmash, but u see the usmash and lower your shield to strike, only to get fsmashed.
118.) Whenever u wavedash backwards to avoid Marth's attacks, u make a slight misjudgement and end up getting hit by the sweet spot of the sword.
119.) If you smashed your opponent off Termina Bay to the right, the turtle will just happen to rise up after he was already submerged in the water. Inversely, as you are attempting to come back from the right side, the turtle will sink. ALWAYS!
120.) The only time you decide to play a random stage with all of them available you get Hyrule Temple
121.) The one time you use Counter is the one time your opponent's attack will miss.
122.) The only time you misfire with Luigi is when it will result in your death.
123.) The number of needles your opponent has stored is directly proportionate to how close you are to the stage.
124.) the number of times you edgetech is inversely proportionate to the importance of the match.
125.) The distance you are from Marth is equal to his Fsmash tipper range.
126.) If you are a Falco facing a Marth, the chances of picking FD randomly go up 43%
127.) The likelihood of you crouch cancelling a peach's downsmash is inversly proportionate to your percent.
128.) You will beat someone in a friendly, LOSE to them in pools, and then win afterwards in another friendly.
129.) You will revive a topic, just to see it die again.
130.) No matter how good you are at this in practice, the one time you will manage to walltech Marth's up B in game is the one time you will walltech walljump, leaving you with such a bitter sweet taste in your mouth as you watch your character fall to his death.
131.) Your tech skill at that moment becomes is inversely proportional to the skill of your noob friend who thinks L-cancelling and wavedashing are useless.
132.) Although you know rolling is a bad habit, and used to get punished for it back in your noob days, you can't seem to do anything about it when your skeptical noob friends ask you whats so bad about rolling.
133.) Ridiculous spamming of a move that should never work always seems to thwart the most advanced opponents techniques, but only in the hands of a noob.
134.) The only way to fight noob spam is with more noob spam.
135.) Everyone who has any moral objections toward a "cheap" technique will eventually fall prey to heavily using so called "cheap" techniques in the future.
136.) You will only face characters that counter your main in pools.
137.) When you try to kill with style you fail and suicide.
138.) When you counter with Marth or Roy, your opponent will miss the button they planned to use to attack you.
139.) If your throw will KO, you will accidentally throw the wrong direction.
140.) The likelihood that you will DI an attack down when you meant to sidestep is inversely proportional to the number of stocks you have, and directly proportional to your percent.
141.) You will always forget to counterpick a level that would help you win when it truly counts.
142.) The likelihood of you self-destructing is directly proportional to the number of stocks you are making a come back from.
143.) If you attempt to perfectly space a move against an immobile opponent, the character's standing animation will move him just beyond range of your move.
144.) whenever bowser fsmashes, your attack will miss as a result of bowser moving back, leading to you getting fsmash ftw
145.) you lose all of your tech skill when you really wanna win
146.) when u just finished getting losing a stock, you belive spamming f-smash is a reasonal decision
147.) The chances of you getting gayed by battlefield is directly proportional to how amazing you just combo'd your opponent off the edge.
148.) All of your rest combos in friendlies will become phantom rest combos in tourney.
149.) Your tech skill is inversely proportionate to the skill of the person you're playing against
150.) The probability of your opponents nana being there to be wobbled is inversely proportionate to the percentage you're at
151.) The probability of your nana being there to do wobbling is inversely proportionate to your opponents percentage
152.) The probability of your most advantageous neutral stage coming up on random is inversely proportionate to the skill of your opponent
153.) The best move choice in any given situation will come out too late/early and become the worst possible move choice in that following situation
154.) In a pool where X people advance, you will be the X+1th person.
155.) When your opennent is on his last stock and you edge hog and try to spike or kill him with an ledge hopped nair/bair/fair/dair you will miss and lose!
156.) whenever a spectator calls out one of your characters combos during a match the likelyhood of you executing that combo is decreased by atleast 90%
Enjoy!!
1.) The one time you miss your l-cancel is the one time your attack is blocked
2.) The cloud will arrive only when you do not need it
3.) The wind will blow only when it is in your opponents favor
4.) Any phantom hit you give will result in you dying
5.) The probability of you getting hit with a fully charged flare blade is directly proportionate to the amount of people watching
6.) The one time you airdodge to dodge an attack while being edge-guarded, your opponent will miss the c-stick and kill you anyway
7.) You will only pull out the chain instead of turning around with the needles when the ledgeguard would have actually killed your opponent.
8.) Any rest attempted with one life left will miss and result in losing the match
9.) The amount of stitchfaces pulled is directly proportionate to the amount of lives you have less than your opponent.
10.) If there is a fox, and there is a wall, that fox will keep you against that wall.
11.) Your bombs will work against you 80% of the time.
12.) When you think something is going to work, you're walking in to a mindgame.
13.) The probability of your jump being stolen is directly proportionate to the crappiness of your DI
14.) The probability of a missile being canceled is inversely proportionate to the knockback of the attack you're about to be hit with
15.) When entering a tournament, if there are 2 people that play a character that counters your character, those will be the first 2 you play
16.) The neutral stage you were thinking of banning but didn't because it hasn't come up, will be picked randomly that round
17.) The stage you counter pick is always perfect for your opponent's secondary character
18.) No matter how far you think you spaced your aerial, you will always be within the last pixel of reach of a grab, whether in front of or behind your opponent
19.) The probability if you missing a tech and air dodging to your death is inversely proportionate to the percentage you are at
20.) The spectularness of a combo/edgeguard/anything is inversely proportional to the likelihood of it being on tape.
21.) If you attempt to down-smash on the very edge then odds are you'll slip off into a suicidal D-air instead.
22.) The one time you need to short-hop it becomes a full-hop.
23.) You down-smash from a shield usually becomes a sidestep.
24.) When it's time to use Link's finisher you watch in horror as Link takes off into his helicopter instead.
25.) As soon as you bet money that you'll never be hit by Falcon Punch... you are hit by it. (true story)
26.) If you ditto your main against someone who has only used that character for a month then you will lose.
27.) Right as you plot your revenge your character rubs the ledge and simply refuses to grab it.
28.) Every time you win your opponent will reiterate how bad of a round that was for him. (You will never have a good round.)
29.) No, you will not win the final match of the set.
30.) And yes, it does in fact turn out that this Fox noob knows how to waveshine.
31.) Every poke'ball you throw in an items match no matter how great the odds will be mew or celebi.
32.)when you pull out a stitchface you mistaken it for a regular turnip and throw it away
33.) Whenever you and your opponent are at one stock each, and you are about to edgehog to win, you will "accidentally" airdodge to your doom.
34.) Dispite your practice, when you wavedash to ledge hog, you’ll always airdodge and fall to your death.
35.) If you aim to land on the cloud (YS) you will miss it 99% of the time and only land on the **** thing when you don't expect to.
36.) When you're coming back with your last life against a good opponent in a tournament and people start to gather and cheer you on, you suddenly miss your SHL and phantasm off of the edge to your death.
37.) the number of time you're trying to tipper your Fsmash with marth is invertely proportionnal with your stress level AND the game's importance.
38.) The barrels in the DK levels will always turn away from you
39.) If you're about to do an up B, the barrels will instead seek you out and destroy you
40.) Everytime you try and DI towards an opponent for a shinespike, you'll phantasm forward and SD instead.
41.) The amount of projectiles power-sheilded is proportional to your damage multiplied by your stock.
42.) Every time you charge up your smash attack because you "know" where the opponent will be after a laggy move, your opponent will be on the other side of you.
43.) On your last stock, your spike will always miss, leading you to a laggy death.
44.) Peach will always hit you with a stitch-face, when you believe it to be another turnip.
45.) If you have a 30% chance to guess which way they will tech, you will be wrong 80% of the time
46.) If pressing L at the proper time for an edge hog will lead to a victory, you will either press it too early, get it, and spiked off the wall, or you will to it too early, and lose.
47.) If you think you're going to get spiked, you will, and you will not meteor cancel it either.
48.) You will dodge Link's spin attack just long enough to get spiked by it.
49.) The Claptrap will only come out when you could've made it back safely
50.) You will mess up your waveshine with a fox illusion/falco phantasm only when you're close enough to the edge so that it will kill you.
51.) The likelihood of messing up your ledgehop is inversely proportional to the probability if you hitting your opponent with that ledgehop.
52.) Successfully ground dodging a shadow ball is inversely proportional to the percentage you are at
53.) The only time you do not put up your reflector/use your cape is the one time you will be shot with a fully charged blaster
54.) If a grab combo will win you the match, you will not be able to grab
55.) You likelihood that you are hit during a double jump cancel is inversely proportional to the distance away from the edge you are.
56.) The first stock is always the longest.
57.) Any time you get lucky and pull a Bomb with Peach, your opponent will blow it up in your hand, sending you to your death.
58.) The one time you chance going off the edge to meteor someone, they will meteor cancel it, and you will bounce off the stage to your death from their Up-B.
59.) The extra hit you want to tack on to make your combo even more amazing is the one that you will mess up, and get killed for.
60.) If you enter a tournament with your friends, you will always play them in the first round.
61.) When you see someone charging a smash attack, and you think you are safely out of range, the range of the attack doubles and you die.
62) No matter how many times you get hit by it, you will always forget that Link's forward smash is 2 attacks
63) The amount of bruises on your arms is proportionate to the amount of times you chaingrab your friends.
64.) When you pull out a bob-omb, the chances of your opponent powershielding it are proportional to your damage and stock.
65.) the one time you say how terrible ganon's up tilt is, you get killed by it twice.
66.) if and you opponent are both at one stock and you have more than a 30% lead you will lose
67.) Despite seeing it coming 4 seconds earlier, that attack is still somehow going to hit you.
68.) when you go to a tournament you underestimate everyone that youve never seen before
69.) If you money match someone who has never heard of advanced techs you will lose
70.) the moment you think you are undefeatable you will lose
71.) If you mess up a Wavedash or Short Hop, It will normally lead to you getting killed or comboed
72.) if playing Items, whenever a player is around 100%, all the Item Box's will explode like Bob-Bombs
73.) Even without DI, on the final stock your opponent will always survive a rest combo from Jiggz.
74.) On last stock, U-throw to Rest will always hit if your opponent is a Jiggz, and since it is you, even with DI, you will die a quick and painless death.
75.) Crazy Hand will only appear when you do not want him to
76.) Even with 5 stock, you will never kill Giga Bowwer if anybody is watching for the first time.
77.) The amount of you messing up a WD or SH or waveshine is directly porportional the the amount of people watching and how flashy you are playing
78.) the number of blaster shots you miss with falco reflects on how accurate your physical attacks will be
79.) The rate of starting a chain grab is inversely related to how high the opponent's damage is.
80.) The rate of your SDs are inversly proportional to the skill gap between you and your opponent.
81.) The one game you pull a lightsaber AND a bobomb on consecutive lives with peach is the one game your opponent capes a lightsaber and a bobomb into your face on consecutive lives while trying to recover
82.) When you see your opponent charging a forward smash you will always be hit by it when it is fully charged and as you try to run in and grab.
83.) While edgeguarding on your opponent's last stock, you will sneeze and turn a perfect edgeguard into a self-destruct.
84.) Any time you drop your Smash disc, it will ALWAYS land shiny side down.
85.) Any time you think that the mods will have a sense of humor and not close your thread, they will close it.
86.) The longer the combo you are doing, the more odds you will miss the finishing blow.
87.) If you play really good in friendlies before the tournament, you will **** it up in the tournament.
88.) If you can beat a player all the time with one stock left, he'll beat you with one stock in the tournament.
89.) When you use counter at the right moment, your opponent will accidentely miss.
90.) The odds of you beating a friend in a tournament is inversly proportional to how often you whoop his a$$ in friendlies.
91.) The chance that you will mess up fox/falco's infinite stall if inversely proportionate to your damage, and how far the opponent is from recovering.
92.) Your confidence before playing is directly proportional to the amount of times you will SD
93.) the more you trash talk during a match, the more sloppy your combos will become.
94.) The one time your able to get a hammer, the head falls off and results in you winning "The Biggest Moving Target" Award.
95.) Your opponents, however, will never lose the heads of thier hammers.
96.) The more you bash the wobbles infinite, the more difiicult it becomes to execute.
97.) If you think you're about to 4-stock someone, they will proceed gimp you of every stock until your defeat.
98.) When attempting to wave smash for the kill you will instead full hop and D-air, resulting in your immediate death.
99.) you will only ever miss a Z item catch if that item is a bobomb, causing you to sex kick yourself into oblivion.
100.)your favorite stage will always be blocked at tournies.
101.) The only time you decide to bombjump back at YS, the first bomb gets stuck on top of the cloud, causing the most unexpected death.
102.) No matter how hard you try, that 8-year-old pro will kick your ***.
103.) The chance of you not getting hit by a Ganon's warlock punch is directly proportional to the chance of a heart falling on your head during a no items match.
104.) DI will always fail after getting hit by said punch.
105.) The chance of a Top Pro level player dropping by to do doubles with you is directly proportional to the chance you beating Ken
106.) Your warlock punch will never hit while his always will.
107.) If you are spamming one attack in the 15 minute melee, you will always hit a bomb within the last 30 seconds.
108.) Nana can, and will taunt precisely when you finally get a grab.
109.) When you finally have your opponent set up for a shinespike, he'll up-B the instant you drop down from the ledge to kill him.
110.) The chances your opponent has to kill you is proportional to the amount of stock you have away from him
111.) As the number of successful bomb jumps increases , you are likely to miss your grapple beam into an airdodge to death
112.) Pokemon Stadium will switch into Fire/Rock mode while you're comboing
113.) If running up to punish an u-tilting ganon from the back, you will get hit.
114.) Just when you think you're winning, your teammate confuses you for the opponent.
115.) The one time you manage to rest a superior player, it happens to be over a chasm.
116.) The flashiest combos are always accidental, and occur in friendlies only.
117.) When u play a new, really predictable player who just spams fsmash, they somehow mess up and use usmash instead. You were expecting to block an fsmash, but u see the usmash and lower your shield to strike, only to get fsmashed.
118.) Whenever u wavedash backwards to avoid Marth's attacks, u make a slight misjudgement and end up getting hit by the sweet spot of the sword.
119.) If you smashed your opponent off Termina Bay to the right, the turtle will just happen to rise up after he was already submerged in the water. Inversely, as you are attempting to come back from the right side, the turtle will sink. ALWAYS!
120.) The only time you decide to play a random stage with all of them available you get Hyrule Temple
121.) The one time you use Counter is the one time your opponent's attack will miss.
122.) The only time you misfire with Luigi is when it will result in your death.
123.) The number of needles your opponent has stored is directly proportionate to how close you are to the stage.
124.) the number of times you edgetech is inversely proportionate to the importance of the match.
125.) The distance you are from Marth is equal to his Fsmash tipper range.
126.) If you are a Falco facing a Marth, the chances of picking FD randomly go up 43%
127.) The likelihood of you crouch cancelling a peach's downsmash is inversly proportionate to your percent.
128.) You will beat someone in a friendly, LOSE to them in pools, and then win afterwards in another friendly.
129.) You will revive a topic, just to see it die again.
130.) No matter how good you are at this in practice, the one time you will manage to walltech Marth's up B in game is the one time you will walltech walljump, leaving you with such a bitter sweet taste in your mouth as you watch your character fall to his death.
131.) Your tech skill at that moment becomes is inversely proportional to the skill of your noob friend who thinks L-cancelling and wavedashing are useless.
132.) Although you know rolling is a bad habit, and used to get punished for it back in your noob days, you can't seem to do anything about it when your skeptical noob friends ask you whats so bad about rolling.
133.) Ridiculous spamming of a move that should never work always seems to thwart the most advanced opponents techniques, but only in the hands of a noob.
134.) The only way to fight noob spam is with more noob spam.
135.) Everyone who has any moral objections toward a "cheap" technique will eventually fall prey to heavily using so called "cheap" techniques in the future.
136.) You will only face characters that counter your main in pools.
137.) When you try to kill with style you fail and suicide.
138.) When you counter with Marth or Roy, your opponent will miss the button they planned to use to attack you.
139.) If your throw will KO, you will accidentally throw the wrong direction.
140.) The likelihood that you will DI an attack down when you meant to sidestep is inversely proportional to the number of stocks you have, and directly proportional to your percent.
141.) You will always forget to counterpick a level that would help you win when it truly counts.
142.) The likelihood of you self-destructing is directly proportional to the number of stocks you are making a come back from.
143.) If you attempt to perfectly space a move against an immobile opponent, the character's standing animation will move him just beyond range of your move.
144.) whenever bowser fsmashes, your attack will miss as a result of bowser moving back, leading to you getting fsmash ftw
145.) you lose all of your tech skill when you really wanna win
146.) when u just finished getting losing a stock, you belive spamming f-smash is a reasonal decision
147.) The chances of you getting gayed by battlefield is directly proportional to how amazing you just combo'd your opponent off the edge.
148.) All of your rest combos in friendlies will become phantom rest combos in tourney.
149.) Your tech skill is inversely proportionate to the skill of the person you're playing against
150.) The probability of your opponents nana being there to be wobbled is inversely proportionate to the percentage you're at
151.) The probability of your nana being there to do wobbling is inversely proportionate to your opponents percentage
152.) The probability of your most advantageous neutral stage coming up on random is inversely proportionate to the skill of your opponent
153.) The best move choice in any given situation will come out too late/early and become the worst possible move choice in that following situation
154.) In a pool where X people advance, you will be the X+1th person.
155.) When your opennent is on his last stock and you edge hog and try to spike or kill him with an ledge hopped nair/bair/fair/dair you will miss and lose!
156.) whenever a spectator calls out one of your characters combos during a match the likelyhood of you executing that combo is decreased by atleast 90%
