Iwata: "En now. Lez take a lookk to the newast... installmant... in the Super Smash Brosauo franchise. I'll let mistah Masahiro Sakurai show somefing r-eally particulah DIRECTLY... to you."
Masahiro: "Hello, I am Masahiro Sakurai, director of Super Smash Bros for Wii U and 3DS. I'm just here to talk to you about something that I hope you're really going to like about this game. It's something so incredible, so revolutionary, so ballsy, that you won't believe when you'll see it. It's not a new character, or a new stage, or a new mode, it's something new, so big that it needs a very precise introduction before I show it to you. Have you ever wanted something from Smash Bros. so badly, that you would accept to waste all your time watching Nintendo Directs, maybe even skipping school or work, before realizing that I'm Masahiro Sakurai and I'm just trolling you and that I'm not really going to show anything to you?".
Iwata: "Wow. Dat was r-eally exciting, wasn't it? Dat's it... for today. Bye!"