When I say that something ****s with the game, I mean that it's too broken or too random. Anyways, most people don't like the stages you're talking about because they're too broken or too random. What's the cutoff? It depends totally on peoples' preferences.
We ban one because we like it less. That's my entire point.
No, people don't like the stages because they're "janky." Arguments are rarely put forth for how they are too broken or too random, and I would love to hear an argument for why these stages are broken. Instead, we hear arguments about "standardizing gameplay" or about how it should be "player vs. player, not player vs. player vs. stage." These arguments hold not water, and they're just manifestations of people's preference. Literally, it's just "I don't like these stages, let's ban them" put forth as some absurd argument.
What about these strict criteria is non-arbitrary? Why should we use these criteria as opposed to different criteria?
You'll note that my criteria does not prevent players from playing how they wish on the sole premise that I dislike it. However, the point is that we need criteria which doesn't fall upon
preference. It's absurd to suggest that things should be banned just because the majority wants it that way.
Oh, right, it's because you enjoy playing more when we use your criteria. Why not just skip the crap and play on the stages you want to play on?
No way. I ****ing hate my criteria. If I have to play on Brinstar again I might murder my friends and family. It's not about what I ****ing enjoy. It's not about how I
want to play. It's about fairness, and, as far as I've seen, the fairest set of criteria is one of minimalist banning; we simply can't play (in any reasonable way) when there are broken strategies available, so we limit those. But we are wary to ban things, because banning things on preference is inherently unfair. Thus, we limit bans to those things which are broken.
Moreover, banning things which are not broken impairs the metagame and its development. That, along with simply trying to avoid forcing my personal preference, regardless of who agrees with me, down other players throats, is why I choose this set of critiera. If you can find me fairer criteria, which similarly keeps the game deep (obviously "play how you wish" is fairer, but the game would degenerate into Fox on Hyrule counterpicks), then by all means, let me know. I'm not married to Sirlin's criteria, but I'm not going to equate a set of justified criteria with one which simply creates bans based on preference.
You can play however you want. Hell, I don't even have a problem with you hosting strange-rules tourneys. But you can't pretend that everyone has to play by your rules. Most people favor a stagelist that resembles the BR one more than it does yours. It would kind of suck, then, if these people all had to go to tourneys with "jank" stages.
How is this relevant in the least? I don't recall saying anyone
had to play by my rules. We're not talking about enforcement in any way, here. All we're discussing is what ruleset "should" be used. It's not like I'm going to call in the National Guard to enforce the ****ing ruleset.
And to your last point, I say once again- there is no objectively right or wrong way to play the game. Any criteria you choose will be based upon how much you like certain things, and is therefore just as arbitrary as the current stage list.
I don't disagree that there is no objectively right way to play the game. But that does not equate to "all criteria are equally arbitrary." I didn't just choose my criteria out of a class of sets at random; I chose it because it maximizes fairness while maintaining depth. The fact that there needs to be some deliberation within the criteria to decide whether things are actually worth banning does not make the criteria itself arbitrary.