It Hurts...

[Yink]

Link to original post: [drupal=3108]It Hurts...[/drupal]



Hi, UB.

Earlier this morning, I received word that my closest friend still in my city (after high school) was killed in a car accident last night.

She was driving with her boyfriend on the highway and it was snowing. She had previously asked me to drive her and him back because she was afraid that he'd drive too fast. I told her I had to watch my younger cousin so I couldn't...and then her and her boyfriend got smashed by a Semi.

I feel awful...horrible. Was it my partially my fault? All my fault..? He drove too fast, and lost control and hit a semi (that's what my friend's parents told me)

Her boyfriend was killed instantly, and she didn't make it to the hospital.

I don't even know what to think or say about her death, I feel like I should be part of the blame. Maybe if I'd just have taken my cousin with us, everyone would've been ok. Crying and saying sorry don't really cut how I feel. I'm sorry to rant UB, I am. I lost a childhood friend...

I guess that's my way of venting...no one has to comment on this or anything, I just want to let it out. Thanks.

 

[TLMSheikant]

I dont think its your fault. You had no way to know that this would happen. I hope she's in a better place now. R.I.P and sorry for your loss.

 

[DarkLouis331]

Link to original post: [drupal=3108]It Hurts...[/drupal]



Hi, UB.

Earlier this morning, I received word that my closest friend still in my city (after high school) was killed in a car accident last night.

She was driving with her boyfriend on the highway and it was snowing. She had previously asked me to drive her and him back because she was afraid that he'd drive too fast. I told her I had to watch my younger cousin so I couldn't...and then her and her boyfriend got smashed by a Semi.

I feel awful...horrible. Was it my partially my fault? All my fault..? He drove too fast, and lost control and hit a semi (that's what my friend's parents told me)

Her boyfriend was killed instantly, and she didn't make it to the hospital.

I don't even know what to think or say about her death, I feel like I should be part of the blame. Maybe if I'd just have taken my cousin with us, everyone would've been ok. Crying and saying sorry don't really cut how I feel. I'm sorry to rant UB, I am. I lost a childhood friend...

I guess that's my way of venting...no one has to comment on this or anything, I just want to let it out. Thanks.

This is in NO WAY your fault, there's no way you could've predicted this would happen. Don't beat yourself up over it. The boyfriend was responsible for his own driving, and the lives of himself and your friend. I'm very sorry for you loss. Death is such a terrible thing. My grandpa passed away last November. =(

 

[Yumewomiteru]

Hey, it is really tragic that happened. But it is definitely not your fault, I think anyone would have made the same choice you did since that is the most rational choice. It was an really unfortunate accident, hope they are in a better place now.

Please don't blame yourself for this, no one does, not even your friend, I know it.

 

[Deleted member]

It's not your fault at all! It's a normal reaction for someone to blame themselves for someone else's death, and it's almost never true. If you didn't watch your cousin, who knows what would have happened to him? And you had no way of telling this would happen.
Also I'm so sorry for your loss… I hope hr and her boyfriend RIP… Although I heard RIP means something in Latin, and not actually rest in peace, but you know what I mean.

 

[Frown]

The way I see it, you should never look back and think "I should have done this instead of that". The past can't be changed. Also, don't blame yourself. You made a responsible decision, I would probably have said the same thing if I were you.

I'm awfully sorry about your loss, Yink. Don't keep your sadness hidden inside, talk to someone (preferably irl) about it.

 

[#HBC | ZoZo]

Stay strong, Yink. I don't think internet messages are going to help much, so please talk to someone in real life who can understand you.

 

[GunmasterLombardi]

Everything happens for a reason...

I feel bad, but fearing someone will be driving too fast IN THE SNOW is a sign that you should not be w/ them in the first place. Quite an unfortunate mistake.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

It's far from your fault!

The past is the past. I'm sure your friend wouldnt want you to feel guilty about what happened.

Sorry for your loss. I'll keep you and the families in my prayers.

 

[Insetick]

Don't start blaming yourself for every misfortune that happens in your life, because there's no coming back. Realize that while you have a good degree of control over what happens in your life, so do others. This is circumstance.

What's passed is past. Grieve, but try to move on. What you can do now is tell your friend's story. Get people to learn to drive more carefully in bad weather. This way, you may be able to save someone else's life.

 

[john!]

It hurts, Ness... it hurts...

Seriously though, it's all your fault and you should go to jail for not driving them... Nah jk. Don't beat yourself up man. I woulda done the same thing.

 

[victra♥]

omg Yink. I'm so sorry, that's awful. I couldn't imagine how you're feeling.

You shouldn't blame yourself. You didn't know that this would happen, no one did. Its the past. The best you should do is mourn the loss of your friend and try your best to stay positive. Try talking to someone and to not keep this bottled in. Stay strong! I hope you get through this ok!

 

[theunabletable]

You're not at all to blame. You made a (what sounds like in your very brief description of it) logical decision that made sense with what you were given.

You can't blame yourself for her death because you could have made a decision that *could have* saved her life (and looking at the circumstances it could have ended EVEN WORSE if you had) when you had absolutely no way to know how that would have turned out, especially when you have a, what seems like at the time, more logical reason to do something different.

You're not to blame in the slightest.

Really, really sorry for your loss, though

 

[Yink]

Yeah, thanks guys.

After talking with her parents, they said that even they didn't blame me at all for what happened and that I should go to her funeral on Friday. (which I plan to)

I appreciate the time you guys spent to say something, and I did go talk to people to feel better. I'm sure she's in a better place.

Also, I do have to laugh at john!, I knew after I made the title someone would make an Earthbound reference. That was good. C: ...

 

[Today]

D'aw! Poor Yinkie Pen..
D: I'm so sorries! Yeah.. it's absolutely not your fault. You had something to take care of. >__< It happens, sadly. You should try and cheer up, though! I'm sure your friend wouldn't want you to be sad, right?? So just smile for her!! >.<v Best of luck!! If you need anyone or anything feel free to ask me or ask anyone in this thread! Truly sorry!

 

[kataklysm336]

Alot of these guys have said some really intelligent things.

I actually had a similar situation happen last September. My best friend from high school was driving to school one morning and was texting and went into the other lane. I know exactly where you are coming from, but you really can't blame yourself. It was reckless driving on the part of the boyfriend, and there was nothing you could have done to stop that. Don't look back and wonder what you could have done, it never leads to happy places. Just keep her alive in your memory, remember all the good times, and she will always be right there with you.

Best of luck.

 

[Dru2]

Wow, that's terrible. I've never really grasped the possibility of one my friends dying right now. I don't think this is ur fault. U had no idea that would happen. And besides, u couldn't leave ur cousin. There was really nothing you can do. She's in Heaven now though, and Heaven is a better place than this earth, and you will see her again one day.

R.I.P. Yink's friend.