I think an ex is threatening me.

[deepseadiva]

Link to original post: [drupal=5461]I think an ex is threatening me.[/drupal]



We never actually dated, but I recently decided to stop talking to a friend I had met about a year ago. We had always been flirty and almost intimate with each other, but I ultimately rejected his advances. Attempting to still be friends after this was difficult and he'd prove to be more and more unpleasant and rude to me until I decided the friendship wasn't worth it. He sent me a few final thoughts calling me a *****, ****, "the worst person I have ever met", and an ominous "your downfall will be spectacular". We haven't spoken since.

The whole ordeal dumped me with a lot of guilt and insecurities, but I think it was best for me to remove myself from such an awful presence.

Recently I've been getting aggressive anonymous messages on my blog such as "you will get what you have coming to you", and "have you ever been in a fight?" I really feel like I'm going to be attacked at some point.

I've never been in a fight. I have no idea how I'd react in that situation. Is the answer just to fight back when this occurs? I don't think violence is acceptable, not to mention I don't know how serious he is in trying to harm me. He's told me he would prefer me dead before. I'm not really sure what to do or how to feel.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Meno! That's awful : ( You don't deserve anything like that

If you are getting threats, you should honestly talk to someone. If it escalates, go to the cops. Heck, you could even go to the cops now.

Threats are serious business

 

[deepseadiva]

I think I will try talking to him directly. I should understand where the aggression is coming from. But honestly he's always been aggressive.

 

[#HBC | Joker]

Depends on how recently it was that you "broke it off" or "separated" or whatever. If it was really recent, then the ex is probably just blowing smoke. You broke it off, so he feels helpless. He's trying to make you feel sorry for him, or scared of him, so he can feel in control. The fact that he's saying really ominous things like "your downfall will be spectacular", and "you will get what you have coming to you" makes me think this is the case. He hasn't actually thought very hard about harming you.

If it wasn't that recent, like it has been more than just a few weeks, then you should probably contact the police. If you feel genuinely threatened that physical harm will befall you, then you can take legal action. Real threats can be serious business, but unless he's actually saying specific things like, "don't go outside or I'll break your legs with a bat", you probably have nothing to worry about. The police may not even be able to do anything, unless he has made more specific threats.

 

[Teran]

Well a part of me thinks this is just empty scaremongering but it wouldn't hurt to get some pepper spray or something.

 

[Falconv1.0]

Yeah Teran's got the right idea. Pepper spray and/or a taser>>>>fists.

 

[Master Xanthan]

Link to original post: [drupal=5461]I think an ex is threatening me.[/drupal]



We never actually dated, but I recently decided to stop talking to a friend I had met about a year ago. We had always been flirty and almost intimate with each other, but I ultimately rejected his advances. Attempting to still be friends after this was difficult and he'd prove to be more and more unpleasant and rude to me until I decided the friendship wasn't worth it. He sent me a few final thoughts calling me a *****, ****, "the worst person I have ever met", and an ominous "your downfall will be spectacular". We haven't spoken since.

The whole ordeal dumped me with a lot of guilt and insecurities, but I think it was best for me to remove myself from such an awful presence.

Recently I've been getting aggressive anonymous messages on my blog such as "you will get what you have coming to you", and "have you ever been in a fight?" I really feel like I'm going to be attacked at some point.

I've never been in a fight. I have no idea how I'd react in that situation. Is the answer just to fight back when this occurs? I don't think violence is acceptable, not to mention I don't know how serious he is in trying to harm me. He's told me he would prefer me dead before. I'm not really sure what to do or how to feel.

Sounds like it could be serious. Calling the authorities might not be a bad idea. Also, if someone does try to fight you, obviously you should defend yourself, its your right. Plus, if he told you he wants you dead, it could be possible he'll have some kind of weapon. So like I said, you should probably call the authorities and maybe they'll have a way to trace trace the anonymous message.

 

[Stijn]

Well, I could imagine you aren't going to buy anything. Just in case you aren't, make sure to fight back. If you are going to let it happen it won't be good. 3 years ago I got attacked by someone I only had seen 2 or 3 times, he got very mad and injured me after a couple of minutes. He kept hitting me for 10 minutes or so, until i decided to fight back. And later on nobody blamed me for doing so. It wouldn't have gotten this far if I fought back earlier. I hope I helped you with my personal experience.

 

[Vkrm]

Start saving the ominous messages so you can show the authorities, and have some legal leverage. Buying a taser makes sense too. Do you see him often at school or work?

 

[Teran]

Yeah Teran's got the right idea. Pepper spray and/or a taser>>>>fists.

I would recommend some taser brands but I'm pretty sure that would probably be illegal LOL

 

[Bonds]

You should definitely go to the police. You could actually sue him for assault for leaving threatening messages like that and have a solid case.

 

[Dre89]

If you do actually end up getting into a fight with him and don't know how to fight, just tackle him to the ground. That's the best way to nullify an assault and reduce the pain you receive.

 

[GwJ]

You might also just want to start going places with a friend. Any anxiety you're feeling will be reduced immensely just by having someone else there that you trust.

 

[deepseadiva]

We stopped talking in August. I don't normally see him, but we're on the same campus. If there's ever going to be an interaction, it'll be a chance encounter, unless he searches me out directly.

I'd rather not carry a weapon or alter my behavior, though it's a good idea. I'm going to confront him, at least through discussion. I'm not going to be bullied. That's some schoolyard **** I'm waaaay done with.

 

[Master Xanthan]

We stopped talking in August. I don't normally see him, but we're on the same campus. If there's ever going to be an interaction, it'll be a chance encounter, unless he searches me out directly.

I'd rather not carry a weapon or alter my behavior, though it's a good idea. I'm going to confront him, at least through discussion. I'm not going to be bullied. That's some schoolyard **** I'm waaaay done with.

I don't think confronting him in person is a good idea because, from the description, it sounds like the guy could get violent. Just call the authorities. Jumpman's suggestion of sticking with a friend when going out is a good idea, too. Also, as far as a weapon for the self defense goes, at the very least get some pepper spray.

 

[deepseadiva]

I'm going to write him.

If he suggests a personal meeting, I'll probably decline.

 

[#HBC | Joker]

I really don't think there's anything to worry about. Dude is obviously a coward, or he wouldn't be sending messages anonymously. If Meno confronts him, he'll probably back down.

 

[Claire Diviner]

try to get the IP of the anonymous messages and file a complaint to the police. A restraining order is also an option to consider.

 

[kataklysm336]

Just ignore it. Seriously, stuff like this happens all the time. If he was going to hurt you in any way he wouldn't stop and make multiple attempts to alert you, he would just do it. Just go on about your daily activities, you'll be a lot happier.

 

[deepseadiva]

He might just be blowing steam, but he's made multiple references to engaging me physically in the past. One time he even drove over to my house to explicitly fight me, but my dad had to tell him I wasn't home.

o_o

I'd rather deal with this directly rather than ignore it.

 

[kataklysm336]

He might just be blowing steam, but he's made multiple references to engaging me physically in the past. One time he even drove over to my house to explicitly fight me, but my dad had to tell him I wasn't home.

o_o

I'd rather deal with this directly rather than ignore it.

Really just sounds like a drama queen (king?). I don't know him personally, but in situations like this the person is just trying to get attention and make a scene. He's insecure that he isn't receiving attention from you, and is going to do anything possible. I don't think he will resort to violence, especially if he has made multiple "attempts" in the past and they never escalated past words.

If you really want to remove yourself from the situation just ignore it. He will move on and do this to someone else once he sees acting this way no longer incites a response from you. If it does escalate just beat his ***.

 

[deepseadiva]

If it does escalate just beat his ***.

Thank you for the wondrous advice. xD

I agree, this is all really immature. But I'm also worried about his own safety as well as mine. He's always been on the verge of harming himself - I'd rather be cautious and confident I addressed the situation than just sweeping it under the rug.

Anyways, I sent him a note. I was apologetic of how are situation ended up and that if he needed to say anything to me he has my number. His court. I carry on as I was.

I wonder how I would do in a fight though. I'm kinda strong, but I wouldn't be fueled by murderous rage.

 

[Spelt]

If you have proof of the violent threats he's been sending you through texts or something I think you can call the police on him. It might make things worst but if at this point you are legitimately scared for your safety it might be the best option.

 

[Falconv1.0]

If it does escalate just beat his ***.

Man you're really making quite an assumption with that statement don't you think? It's like saying HEY IF SOMEONE BREAKS INTO YOUR HOUSE JUST KILL THEM. HEY IF YOU'RE IN A BAD SITUATION TRY TO NOT ****ING DIE.

Also Meno please tell me you're taking steps to not end up with ****s like this now.

 

[Luco]

Oh wow, i'm so sorry Meno, no-one deserves to be threatened.

I don't think I can say anything here that hasn't already been said, just remember you are totally within your rights to protect yourself if you are attacked and even if not, theats are serious business. I know that you're also trying to be sympathetic for him and while I suggest you be careful, I hope it works out and i totally respect you for going the extra distance to make things work out.

 

[Falconv1.0]

Oh wow, i'm so sorry Meno, no-one deserves to be threatened.

Really? Really?

Are you sure? You sure there isn't a single **** who deserves to get called out and told he's gonna get a large boot shoved directly up his ***?

Not even this guy?

 

[Luco]

Really? Really?

Are you sure? You sure there isn't a single **** who deserves to get called out and told he's gonna get a large boot shoved directly up his ***?

Not even this guy?

Stop spamming the thread just to play devil's advocate falcon lol. >.>

Meno, if you feel unsafe at all then, as someone said, be with a friend or something of the sort. You have support all around you.

 

[A Pimp Named Slickback]

how do you know the threats are coming from your "ex" who you haven't spoken to in a year if the messages are anonymous?

you seem to be jumping the gun just a little bit.

 

[deepseadiva]

how do you know the threats are coming from your "ex" who you haven't spoken to in a year if the messages are anonymous?

you seem to be jumping the gun just a little bit.

I guess I didn't explain this too thoroughly, before we broke up, he forced me to give him my personal blog URL. He felt it keenly necessary. It's obvious it's him.

He was also explicitly mentioned in one of the messages.

I hope it works out and i totally respect you for going the extra distance to make things work out.

I'm not trying to make it work out. This has turned out to be the nastiest person I've ever met. The more distance and time between us, the better.

I'm just trying to settle this as gentlemanly as I can.

Also Meno please tell me you're taking steps to not end up with ****s like this now.

Waaaaaaaaaay ahead of you.

 

[#HBC | ZoZo]

I think an ex is threatening me.

"have you ever been in a fight?"

yes this makes perfect sense

 

[deepseadiva]

I can't understand what you're trying to say, Xonar.

 

[Luco]

I'm not trying to make it work out. This has turned out to be the nastiest person I've ever met. The more distance and time between us, the better.

I'm just trying to settle this as gentlemanly as I can.

Sorry, i can see how that would be mis-interpreted. I mean 'settling the matter as honourably as possible.'

 

[A Pimp Named Slickback]

so... let me get this straight. you're being threatened and you know exactly who it is and you feel unsafe because of these threats.

stop being a stupid ***** and call the police. tell them what's going on. get a restraining order or whatever else needs to be done.

 

[deepseadiva]

"911, this is Meno from Tumblr and I'm getting mean messages."

Thank you Slickback I should have come to you sooner.

 

[A Pimp Named Slickback]

holy **** you are ********.

threats are taken very seriously whatever form they are conveyed in, ESPECIALLY if you're a woman. explain to them the situation like you did for us (except make sure you mention everything because you are clearly braindead).

something like "hi my name is 'stupid ****'s name.' i've been receiving violent threats to my safety on my personal blog recently and i have a very strong suspicion they are from my ex-boyfriend, as his name was mentioned in one of the messages. i am feeling very unsafe and would appreciate any assistance you can provide me in this ordeal."

then ask about **** like restraining orders if it comes to that. i don't honestly expect you to have the mental facilities to handle a real ****ing conversation though so enjoy being threatened you sarcastic *****.

 

[Falconv1.0]

Jesus Christ Slickback what crawled up your *** this morning?

 

[deepseadiva]

Wow maybe you should drink some water.

I don't know if you bothered to really read, but all I have to present as evidence is a name and completely vague anonymous messages. Maybe they have an Internet Trolling department in your state's PD, but as far as I'm aware, this is laughable to bring to authorities. I might as well call his mom.

At least at the moment. If I get any kind of explicit threat obviously I contact the police, but at this point it's ridiculous. Why do you feel the need to be an *** and redundant?

 

[Lythium]

Yeah, get a restraining order. For your internet stalker.

Because a piece of paper is going to do so much good if someone threatening comes around. It also tells them where you live.

GGs, best advice. :I

 

[Falconv1.0]

Well, at least I'm no longer the angriest person on user blogs.

The title now belongs Lythium. Wait, no, it's Holder.

Wait, what?

 

[Claire Diviner]

Seriously, Meno, I've said this, Slickback is saying this, you need to call the police, because they do take threats seriously, unless somehow the area you live has nothing but crooked cops who simply don't give two flying ****s. Also, don't underestimate a restraining order. Yes, it's a piece of paper, but that piece of paper can send the ******* to prison if he tries to contact you or go near where you are. You say he's threatening you and you imply how much you hate it; if you wish for him to stop, you're going to have to want it, and sitting on your *** and complaining about it on a forum will not get anything done. You have to get up, make moves, and do things yourself, if you haven't already started. If you don't, he's just going to harass you even further or worse.