I need to get some new friends.

[mountain_tiger]

Link to original post: [drupal=2042]I need to get some new friends.[/drupal]



Now, I've never really been the outgoing type who had tons of different friends. I'm the more quiet, contained type that has a smaller circle of friends. But now I'm wondering if the people I consider 'friends' are even friends at all.

There are a few guys around my age (they're all 16) that I occasionally hang out with. Normally, they're quite nice and stuff. However, there are two respects where they aren't nice in the slightest: girls and drink

I like girls because some of them are hcarming and smart, but all they seem to think about is how good they are in the bedroom. They seem to change girlfriends every two or three months (literally), and even if they haven't known them for a long time they have sex with them (and they started this before they were legal, I might add). Plus almost all of them have had one-night stands at some point as well, and think it's better than normal relationships.

And then there's the alcohol, which is the main reason that I never go out with them. Put simply, they drink far too much of it. Almost every Friday and Saturday night, they go out and get drunk off their heads. On average, they have around 20 units in one go, but sometimes they can have 30+ in one night! It's not uncommon for them to have a pint of vodka or 2-4 litres of cider or something like that. God knows how their livers have coped with the stress... Sometimes they end up waking up somewhere, and not knowing how they got there, and once or twice have even been to school hungover! I don't know if I can really call them friends if I don't go out and have fun with them, but at the same time I don't want to end up being forced to drink and doing something I regret.

Looking past them, I also have another friend more like me, in the sense that he likes computer games and stuff (he used to play Brawl, but then he got bored of it). Anyway, for around three years, we got on pretty well. But a few months ago, I was talking to him when he punched me across the face. For no reason whatsoever. He has a mild form of Aspergers' syndrome, but I don't think it was justified that he hit me when I didn't even say anything. And he kept saying that I fancied little children as well, so now I'm not friends with him anymore.

Now, you're probably thinking, 'Just go and make new friends'. But then we hit a problem. A good deal of people don't like me because they think I'm a nerd (and to be honest, I probably am, but when did nerds ever hurt anyone?). And there are other people around here that don't like me because they think I'm gay (I'm actually bisexual, but in their eyes that's even worse). They used to beat me up for it. They don't do that anymore, but they still hate me.

So yeah, long story short, I'm not sure if the friends that I have can actually be considered friends, but I can't make any new ones because no one seems to like me. Maybe if I manage to get a part-time job soon I'll be able to meet some new people there instead. And maybe it might be worth looking into some clubs as well...

 

[highfive]

Oh wow. I don't condone it, but "fooling around" before hitting the right age is always a good learning experience. Perhaps you should loosen up a bit among the people you hang around with. Although never give in to drinking. Drinkers at school are the best to taunt at.

 

[Falconv1.0]

Your friends are morons, hang out with people you like if you want to make friends.

If I can get friends, you can get friends. *head desk

 

[Frown]

I can't hang out with my friends either due to alcohol. They want every chance they can get to get drunk and waste a night of their lives. Drunk people are just boring and dumb.

There is one exception though.

Drunk Teran17 <3

 

[mountain_tiger]

Your friends are morons, hang out with people you like if you want to make friends.

If I can get friends, you can get friends. *head desk

That's the thing. For the most part, I do like them. But at the same time... I don't really understand it myself. It's hard to explain...

 

[Falconv1.0]

That's the thing. For the most part, I do like them. But at the same time... I don't really understand it myself. It's hard to explain...

Drinkers and idiotic womanizers are stupid.

Guys who abuse their pain meds and demonize all but one women like me are the guys you want to hang out with. =D

But seriously, they sound like a pack of idiots, what the hell makes you like them.

 

[bobson]

But seriously, they sound like a pack of idiots, what the hell makes you like them.

Plenty of people have annoying flaws but are still generally good, fun people outside of that.

 

[dualseeker]

Who wants to care about what people think about them? It just creates unneeded problems of changing yourself in ways that you don't even want to. Screw people like that, you don't need them. Just find some friends who just accept you and like to hang out with you, THATS IT. who needs people judging you? Just find some other friends, because the alchaholics your hanging out with are just gonna get busted, or do something so stupid they'll have it like a scar for the rest of there lives. Your better off finding people who just hang out with you because your you.

 

[PhoenixoKaZe]

haha, that must sucks, I`ll be ur friend like rly ^^ xD also so random about that one friend punching u in the face o-o

 

[GTA_Hater_331]

Looking at the topic's initial post by Mountain_Tiger, I have similar problems like this in my college. Too many of my college classmates are stinky tobacco smokers. I think of them as "smokards", kind of like drunkards except with tobacco instead of alcohol. If I were a principal or dean, and I received a letter from a student complaining of this many students smoking and/or drinking and/or risking STDs like this, I'd be horrified despite how common it's cracked up to be. Once I knew what to do, I'd take swift and harsh action to try to clean up the school's act.

 

[mzink*]

Work can be a good place to meet people, try to find the type of job where plenty of other people around your age would likely be employed. Also maybe look for a job that people with you're interests would be attracted to, you'll be more likely to meet people you click with. Common interest is a great way to build friendships. I made loads of friends during my different high school part times.

On another note, don't be too quick to reject someone as a potential friend because of a factor like drinking or smoking. If its to the point that you feel uncomfortable or it may cause a problem then sure avoid getting into that situation. But I have some very close friends that just happen to be heavy drinkers or smokers, it doesn't really make a difference with our friendship. (I don't drink or smoke)

 

[RyuReiatsu]

I've had the same problem with you, or do I have it at the moment?
I'm not exactly sure, as I'm a kind of flexible guy who changes his mind constantly.

I've gotten tired of hanging out with 'the bros', because in fact... They're what they are. Drunkards and weed-addicts. They're still good friends in reality, I just don't tell them any of my stuff. You must never judge a person by his looks. Don't judge a book by it's cover.

What you are doing at the moment is exactly what people do to you.
They dislike you for being a nerd, and you don't wanna get to know 'em because they love bustin' their ***** on alcohol.

The example's going to be a bit long, sorry. I say: Give them a chance.
Who ever you meet, give them a chance. Try getting to know them, they might do things differently when they get to know you.

There's that single guy I consider my real friend... I barely ever get to see him, and he's the kinda guy that hangs out with gangsters, flirters and drinkers. When I first met him, I disliked him. Being that kind of guy. But I eventually got to know him and see what happened there? He's one of my only friend at least, he's about the only person I consider as such. He got to know me too, thinking I was a ****ing clown at first. And things went in a totally different direction. We meet from times to times, talking to each other about our lives, girls. The old times and the one girl we fought for.

The thing about nerds though... is that they aren't good in social most of the time. Look at a nerd on the internet and a nerd in real life. He could be like the coolest guy on the internet, but the most boring **** in person. It's one step at a time man. Before exactly drawing one into your world, meet up on a neutral ground. Get to know each other and you'll just know when it'll click.

In any case, get a job. That might help you out.
Otherwise, I guess... try finding a hobby that would involve you with other people.

I, for one, could tell you that social is overrated. But the thing is, you won't know until you climb up to the top of that nasty ****. Just look around and don't succumb to despair and loneliness...
It's bad for your health, I know all about it.

 

[Teran]

Drunk Teran17 <3

Haha that AIM conversation was pro.
I gain IQ points with the stuff.

 

[Apollo$]

Keep your trues friends and ignore trying to appeal to other people just so they can like you, I'm pretty much stuck with my small group of friends. I can't fit in anywhere else so eh, Every friend will have faults but you can work around them. Go for the job