I have snow!

[Matt]

My ****in' beanie went missing today. MY GOD****ED BEANIE. Jesus ****ing ****.

I wouldn't care so much if not for the fact that I buy maybe two things for myself per year, and that I spent nine dollars on this **** thing.

To give you a better idea of what I'm talking about, let's take a look at the list of purchases for myself in the last two years:

• A pack of DVD RWs
• At most four movie tickets
• Plane tickets and a passport
• A beanie

Now I'm without my pimp *** beanie... and I only had it for one ****in' week!

MY WORLD IS FALLING APART! And I'm long overdue for a violent rampage...

Grr.

 

[Dodongo]

Heh thought you said you have a furry.</kindergartener>

A good way to let off some steam is to print a picture of a smashboards member you dislike a lot, put it on your wall, and then stab it without mercy forty times with a dull butterknife. I call bad days like that BumbleBeeTuesdays. Only kidding

 

[Matt]

I would never put holes in my special edition autographed BBT wallposters!

Can't I just stab people instead?

 

[Anthony C]

Remind me never to piss you off.

 

[ender]

I

A good way to let off some steam is to print a picture of a smashboards member you dislike a lot, put it on your wall, and then stab it without mercy forty times with a dull butterknife. I call bad days like that BumbleBeeTuesdays. Only kidding

I do something like that to, except its when im feeling lonely. I call them "Matt Months" Where I randomly fall in love with people whose pictures I see on the internet, for a month.

Good luck on finding your beanie.

 

[Venom Dream]

"I have fury"? Complaining about the loss of clothing items? BBT poster?
You sure your really Matt, and not some girl on his account?
Because I could see that happening...

~ Azure

 

[Crash]

keep searching, these things are always in the last place you look
and maybe you'll get lucky, i was rumaging through dumpsters looking for E.T. cartridges, and i found a sweet *** beanie!! its my new favorite!

 

[pokemonmaster01]

I have A.I.D.S.!

Did you get this thing at a yard sale or can you just buy another? Not like there's much else you seem to spend money on. Sheesh.

Crash
i was rumaging through dumpsters

Heh, wouldn't doubt it!

 

[Revolutions]

I lent a friend my copy of Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga and he lost it.

Nice choice of titles, Matt. Now we're all sad.

 

[Matt]

Originally posted by Crash
keep searching, these things are always in the last place you look

Of course it will be in the last place I look, because once I find it I'll stop looking!

I have slightly less fury now, though. The beanie was found. I e-mailed my dad about it and he looked all around the house. He ended up finding it in the car. You see, it fell off my mountainous pile of clean clothes in the trunk on the way back to my dorm. They'll get it to me in a week (on election day!).

Oh, but rest assured, I'll find some other reason to be angry.

...can I be angry at one of you?

 

[Venom Dream]

You can be angry at me, because I think your acting extremely efeminate...

~ Azure

 

[Matt]

Okay, I'll be angry with you, but not because you insulted me.

No, I'll be angry with you because you used "your" when you meant to use "you are" and you spelled effeminate incorrectly. I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

And also ender. I hate that guy, too. :o

Oops, wrong face. Let me try agan.



Yeah, that's the one. Only a "smiley" could accurately portray the way I feel about ender and V(enereal) D(isease). Words alone cannot describe the intense hatred and/or uneasiness I feel around them. You, sirs, make me want to vomit with rage all over your cheap haircuts and shiny, foreign shoes.

Fair warning: NEVER BE ALONE.

And Rev, if it makes you feel any better, I could kill your friend. I admit that I'm a bit out of practice, though. It's been weeks since I last killed a man!

 

[soberfox]

Weeks since your last hit?

Your so slacking. Get on your game man, or otherwise your outta this crew.

*loves DefJam: Fight for NY*

 

[Vinnie275]

Awww Matts.
My sister was visiting from out of state and gave me a hat. I treasured it for years, but I left it hanging on the DDR machine at the arcade.

After a short lament, I tried to get over it. I still miss it sometimes and I can't bring myself to buy a new hat.

Matt, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Maybe you can find a hat someday that you can warm up to.

 

[McFox]

Yeah. I mean, there are plenty of other hats in the sea. And a beanie saved is a beanie earned. And remember not to take any wooden caps. [/ObligatoryAdvice]

 

[Matt]

I had so much sorrow from the loss of my beloved beanie that I decided to write a poem.

Ahem.

Autumn
by Matt Albrecht

An empire fell
One day long ago
A wall of lies
Tumbled down
No mortar could hold and
No support beam could stand
The foundation shook
The ground trembled
And the witnesses—
Now lost and betrayed
By their once fearless leaders—
Fell to their knees
And they turned
To the sky
Where the clouds yielded nothing but
Grey tones and black nights

The King could not bear the
Empty nights,
And the days
Gave nothing more
Than muddled memories
Of better times
When the walls kept him safe
Beside the love of his life

He stayed in his ruins
While his love lay awake
On a rigid white bed
All alone
Worlds away
She would not permit him to follow
Until she finally healed
So he waited for months
All alone
Without fear

But the truth was revealed
She wished to be free
Of the walls that confined her
And kept her solely with him
The walls came down
On a cold autumn day
And unlike the leaves
That changed as they do
The King fought and resisted
Being alone and afraid
He tried to love her
Just like before
But he could not forgive her
Without time to consider
The past present and future of
Loving her

When he finally forgave
The leaves had all died
No color and no life
None of it in sight
Still alone
She slept and
Dreamed of better days
But his dreams never ceased
And they were always the same
He dreamed of her
Always by his side
They were happy
Fearless
And this way they remained

When one is in love
No one wants change.

And then I realized that I know absolutely nothing about writing good poetry, which, by the way, causes me even more fury.

*vomits with rage*

 

[ender]

Your poem made me so angry I skipped it. I dont like hats or beanies usually. Poems are OK. I joined the poetry club when I was in high school, but only becuase of a girl who was in it. And you, my friend, are no girl in a high school poetry club.

 

[soberfox]

You don't know that for sure. Matt could very well be an angsty teen girl posing as an angry guy over the internet for purposes of escaping her own pitiful reality.

Maybe, but doubtfully. You just never know these days.

 

[Matt]

I have been told that I look like that blonde elf chick from the Lord of the Rings. But can I help it that my hair is the envy of females everywhere?

...or that my slender figure makes girls vomit with jealousy?

Heh, that works on two levels.

I win.

 

[Emacee]

Re: I have fury!

Originally posted by Matt
I have fury!

But do you have Bangai-O fury?

 

[Venom Dream]

Originally posted by ender
Your poem made me so angry I skipped it. I dont like hats or beanies usually. Poems are OK. I joined the poetry club when I was in high school, but only becuase of a girl who was in it. And you, my friend, are no girl in a high school poetry club.

I disagree. Haven't you been listening to me?
Maybe Matt is really both himself and his love, and this is all just for attention?
OH! CONSPERACY! >_>
...
Or not... but, you've got to admit, "I have fury" sounds like something Azua/Zelda/ThunderMistress/others would say...

~ Azure

 

[McFox]

Originally posted by Venom Dream
Or not... but, you've got to admit, "I have fury" sounds like something Azua/Zelda/ThunderMistress/others would say...

"I have fury!" was a line uttered by Fawful in Mario and Luigi: SuperStar Saga (is that the name)?

 

[Vinnie275]

[CLICHE]

...

[/CLICHE]

 

[Mediocre]

...or that my slender figure makes girls vomit with jealousy?

****. That must make dating pretty rough, eh?

 

[yoshii]

Why are you complaining? You are the one who lost it, its your fault. You have no one to blame but yourself.

 

[Matt]

Originally posted by McFox
"I have fury!" was a line uttered by Fawful in Mario and Luigi: SuperStar Saga (is that the name)?

Precisely. He had other such memorable lines as "I have fear!" and "It is the hurrying time!"

This may sound funny to us, but did you know that Italian, when literally translated, sounds like this? Learning time!

In Italian, the verb "to be" is not used idiomatically as it is used in English. For example, while we would say "I am furious," Italians would say "Ho furia" or, literally translated, "I have fury."

Also, Italian is big on definite articles. "The" is almost always used before a noun, especially during times when we English speakers would never think to use it. Whereas we would just say "it is time to hurry," Italians say "è il tempo di fretta" or literally "it is the time for hury."

I've concluded that Fawful is, in fact, Italian.

Originally posted by Mediocre
****. That must make dating pretty rough, eh?

Um, yes... dating.

...

**** you.

Originally posted by Venereal Disease
Maybe Matt is really both himself and his love, and this is all just for attention?

After all, I am a creative writer in my spare time, and I intend to make a career out of it. The chances are high that everything I said on Smashboards was all a lie created by my attention-craving bad self.

Or not, you ***. You probably just want to pressure me into posting pictures of me and Sara as proof of my honesty after I meet her in January, because you have an insatiable/perverted hunger for seeing more pictures of Sara and me.

The joke's on you, VD! I planned to post pictures, anyway!

*ping*

Originally posted by an asshat
Why are you complaining? You are the one who lost it, its your fault. You have no one to blame but yourself.

WRONG. It fell from the pile of clothes in the trunk. My dad was the one driving, and it was his foot that hit the pedal that moved the car forward that caused the hat to fall from the pile. He's more at fault than I am.

But just because you were being a little smartass, I'm going to blame you for everything from now on. You hear me? EVERYTHING.

What did those poor Jews ever do to you? Those innocent people on the Titanic? Those millions of people with cancer? TUPAC?! I hate you so much.

 

[Mediocre]

Um, yes... dating.

...

**** you.

****. I wasn't thinking about that.

I'm not that big an *******.

 

[pokemonmaster01]

A few years ago I left my wallet on the claw machine at the mall. I had seven bucks in there, man! Not to mention my Fox Kids Club membership card. They never sent me a new one. My library card, too! I was bookless for months. (Well, even after I got it replaced.)

I went back for it but some punk teenagers took the effing thing. And now the huntee has become the hunter. Gwahahaha.

 

[Vinnie275]

Rice

It wasn't the bland taste of rice that turned me off of rice when I was young, but the feeling it gives you when it's all that you have eaten. Although the taste helped.

Pretty much the same feeling as eating celery sticks for breakfast >,<;

I was crashing at my sister's house with a sugar high. I couldn't sleep because I was so hyper and as the morning hours waned by my stomach turned and I became sick.

My sister is a vegetarian so I couldn't find anything to eat in the house besides week-old tofu.

Also, a bag of dry rice. Which looked for some reason like my stomach's savior. So it was! The dry grains eased my stomach and I find solace in twelve hours of slumber in grace of rice grains surrounding my limp body.

So now I love rice. I had it for dinner last night and I ate nearly a bag of dry rice snacking on it all day long.

My brother and his friend thought it was pretty neat to eat dry rice like me. Upon trying to eat it, they both spit it all over. They spit it on me too.

You can get rice for a dollar at the food court downtown, G4F (Teriyaki Temple). I wonder if anybody else lives around here too? It's a huge plate of rice for a dollar. I have trouble eating half of it.

 

[Lt. Killjoy]

Matt, it is a very good thing that you did indeed find your hat. After scouring your room for hours without success.... (Ok, maybe more like minutes, but still, it was a grand adventure) I was glad to hear that it was indeed in the back of your trunk and the world could continue to spin about its axis.

 

[andous]

beanie

Hey matt , did you find that beanie yet????

oh yea it was in the back of your car, and you gave me a GOD **** HEART ATTACK YOU MOFO, MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I TOOK IT A SUCH.

 

[Matt]

I thought we were all supposed to be in bed. The whole "wake up at 7:00 AM" thing didn't do it for us?

We suck.

 

[andous]

?

Matt go to sleep

 

[Lt. Killjoy]

We suck.

Hey a lot of things suck, but least of all is us.... or is it we? Me no grammarize good.

 

[andous]

z

killjoy shut the f**k up and go to sleep

 

[andous]

1

this computer sucks balls

 

[annoying jammez]

1. Get a job.
2. Buy more stuff.

 

[andous]

s a

shut up *** jammer

 

[Azua]

You just KNOW I was drawn to the title here. I have no self control.

Or not... but, you've got to admit, "I have fury" sounds like something Azua/Zelda/ThunderMistress/others would say...

~ Azure [/B]

....

AGH!

you FOOOLISH BLOB OF WORTHLESSNESS! HSSS!!!11

Anyway.

Matt, I know the pain you must have felt. I, too, once lost my beloved beanie.
...
Unfortunately today, not only did I lose it, I accidentally destroyed it while trying to find it. -_-; No more cute..horned-looking...hat..beanie..thing. Until I find my orange one like it. Mmm orange.
Like orange starburst. I love starburst. It's like the candy with the fruity and the goodness and it tastes like good.

Anyway I'm going on about an hour's sleep for the last week so I need my VISINE, KAY THANKS

Ever put visine in someone's soda? >} yahahahahar

 

[Venom Dream]

Re: You just KNOW I was drawn to the title here. I have no self control.

Originally posted by Azua's dead body
....

AGH!

you FOOOLISH BLOB OF WORTHLESSNESS! HSSS!!!11

AH-HA! So I was right!
*breakdances*
But the worthless comment... ouch...
I don't know if I can just sit here and take that...
...

I CHALLANGE YOU TO A DUEL!!!

~ Azure must kung-fu fight!

EDIT:

It's like the candy with the fruity and the goodness and it tastes like good.

Okay, I take that back. Your too entertaining to kung-fu fight...