Houston Thread - No HOBOs and no WHOBOs. What do we do now??????????????????????????????????????????

[Fliphopper]

I need to farm the high rank agnaktor. So annoying

 

[RT]

Room up.

1234

 

[Xyro77]

So in a rocky expanse out in the center of North Korea, sandwiched between a bunch of reddish-brown, squat little mountains, there’s a valley called Yodok. To be honest, it’s strange that any history at all is happening in Yodok, because it’s kind of a worthless, barren, secluded ****hole, but here we are, in a sloping eastern field, with a bunch of short sallow people wearing this year’s rags, and a slightly taller sallow person wearing an olive coat, and also carrying a rifle. None of these people really want to be here. In his mind, it’s like, hey, I came to Yodok to protect the beating heart of Choson from counter-revolutionaries, and this is more, you know, shepherding nervous rats along a barren ridge that I also have to live on. In their mind it’s like, **** I am hungry, why am I here, must boil tree bark, etc.

So I mean, lots of Sick Fail to begin with, but the biggest, most Epic Fail really just pertains to one girl, who is probably a teen at this point. She honestly, like, on a contextual scale, compared to the people around her, doesn’t mind the boiled tree bark. Because of a rare genetic coincidence that, thanks to Yodok, is finally getting its day in the sun. Anyway, she’s here because her grandfather… the way I heard it is like, her grandfather was a manager at a cannery of some kind, something east over in Wonsan, which only by coincidence isn’t even all that far away, anyway the grandfather like most of the managers at most of the canneries kept a portion of the product for black market trades with a few of the other employees. Etc. etc. they get caught, he finds out, flees north then over the river Yalu, finds his way to a city and, no kidding, runs smack into a Chinese journalist. Some guys get all the luck. Gets whisked to the South Korean embassy and suddenly he’s news. Which brings us back to the girl in the camp on the field who doesn’t mind tree bark.

And, for the record, she doesn’t actually know this story. Which is sad, because it would probably give her something oddly concrete to focus on as she struggles through the day, some kind of context, but never mind. The taller person, or more accurately the person with the rifle, is ****** her regularly, most of the time where people can’t see. It’s not like her family is around or anything. Her dad is in the gypsum quarry out west and her mother is I dunno.

So more specifically it’s Fall, and it’s getting colder earlier just like it seems to do every Fall, but the idea of eating tree bark is as always not that discouraging, unlike the lump on her belly, which is really, really visible. Because, come on. A lump? On your belly?

So it’s the first day he’s been with her for a while, and so the moment he sees her all alone he grabs her from behind just like always, but this time she pulls out of his grasp, and tries to calmly walk away. Which is not the Big Fail which is promised by this story, don’t worry, but still, like, wow. What a Somewhat Big Fail in its own way. Where were you going, little girl? Going to just walk through the harsh mountains past all the guards and cross the deep black river hills to the east? You know there’s like, land mines all over the place, right? Epic Fail.

Okay so the guy with the rifle is only stunned for a moment, because she’s gotten to be pretty docile, but obviously this **** won’t fly and so he spins her around to slap the **** out of her and that’s when he sees. And it’s not like it’s the end of the world, you know, but it’s not good, and the way she’s looking at him is really, honestly, kind of deflating, like she already knows, like he already knows, and they do.

The bayonet tears through, and I think I’m getting this correctly, the outer and inner layers of the skin, fat and muscle, as well as the various connective tissues, etc. etc. until finally reaching the amniotic sac, which is really more of like a plastic bag. All in one vigorous jab.

And there is probably history’s Greatest Fail, suspended forever and ever in this one moment. Like, where’s your head at, little fetus? How did any of this sound like a solid plan? You weren’t going to make it through the winter with this sort of nutrition, that **** is positively basic. And if you had? Great, now for twenty eight plus or minus five on average years [given survival to six] of hauling gypsum and collectively expressing shame at how ineffectively you’ve been hauling gypsum.

You probably didn’t even have the gene that made tree bark slightly not as bad. And if you did, it didn’t matter. Epic, Epic Fail.

 

[Xyro77]

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT WERE LATE TO THE PARTY, NINTENDO HAS CONFIRMED THE EXISTENCE OF MEWTHREE (name pending)!

 

[Xyro77]

 

[Xyro77]

 

[RT]

It's most likely a second form of Mewtwo, probably related to the whole X and Y and DNA relationship.

 

[Xyro77]

It's most likely a second form of Mewtwo, probably related to the whole X and Y and DNA relationship.

literally called this the day i talked about XY chromosomes and ****. damn it i am a man of ultimate knowledge.

 

[RT]

The day you lost $5 over a bet with Electric types and Aerodactyl says otherwise.

 

[heytallman]

The day you lost $5 over a bet with Electric types and Aerodactyl says otherwise.

I AM THE ORIGINAL PROFESSOR.

Monster Hunter story time: I need one Diablos Tailcase (and a medulla) for the HR Diablos set. So I'm farming him by myself. I cut the tail quickly, and carve it to see a Wyvern Stone. F, that is the third tail in a row to not give me a tailcase. I finish up the hunt and think "oh let me check Cha Cha, maybe he carved the tail." I check him to see another wyvern stone. I DON'T NEED ANY MORE I JUST WANT THE COMMON CUT FROM THE TAIL IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK.

 

[Zano]

Feel my pain, embrace it.

 

[RT]

Sort of like how I accidentally threw away a Brachydios tail.

But then I ended up getting a Brachydios Gem at the rewards screen.

Good times.

 

[Zano]

I can play in a lil bit if anyone wants.

 

[Gea]

Soloing G-rank began today. 30 minutes to slay a Rathian with Jho's base greatsword. Hmm... this is going to be fun. Carve the tail, obtain a mantle.

 

[RT]

Room up.

1234

 

[Zano]

I'll be there in a bit

 

[RT]

Yay, I'm part of the G-rank group.

 

[Zano]

enjoy your torture til you get g armor & weapons

 

[Fliphopper]

Team G-Rank. So fun. Should I even worry about upgrading my High Rank armor now.

 

[Trela]

The one day my internet had to go out....

I hope y'all are satisfied.

 

[Xyro77]

Front page/thread title updated with Whos Tyler/HOBO 40 info. Also, go see HOBO 40 thread when you can. ive added a new event.

 

[RT]

I look forward to getting one-shot'd in G rank. But now I can slow down and focus on village quests.

 

[heytallman]

Last night I watched a movie called A Serbian Film. It was one of the nastiest, most f-ed up movies I've ever seen. Almost on par with Human Centipede 2. Would not recommend unless you have that intense morbid curiosity.

 

[Xyro77]

That is that movie about brutal porn movie right? It's ****ing gross. The entire movie is on YouTube.

 

[Tesh]

who is carpooling to tyler? I was gonna ask to ride in the back Xyro's truck, but I'm sure thats not happening now...

 

[heytallman]

That is that movie about brutal porn movie right? It's ****ing gross. The entire movie is on YouTube.

Have you seen it? I was actually going to say "Allan should watch this if he hasn't already." And yeah, I watched it on youtube lolololol.

 

[Xyro77]

Dude its pretty ****ing bad. I had to skip some parts because i didnt wanna see what happened. Like that one scene where the main character is doing this one chick and then the movie director hands him a machete and wants the main character to chop her into pieces while hes sexing her.

 

[RT]

The real question is, even after what you saw, why did you keep watching?

 

[Xyro77]

The real question is, even after what you saw, why did you keep watching?

I am a movie lover (movies>books). The only time i turn off movies if it is beyond boring. Its like you nerd who like book, it may be gross or it may be disturbing but unless its super boring, you will probably finish reading it.

so yea the movie was boring by any means.....just highly sexual gross.

 

[Xyro77]

So i was on LueLinks looking at all the threads associated with the "russian" tag and i found a russian mail order bride thread that shows the website that lets you buy some russians ( http://bride.ru/ ). I looked around a bit to maybe find me a Natalya Simonova or something when i came across something pretty damn funny.


Here is a normal profile of a russian girl (kinda gross) on that site: http://bride.ru/ph/htcgi/ladies/903/903408P1.html read it plz

Now here is the funny thing i was talking about: http://bride.ru/ph/htcgi/men/276/276417P1.html lol now read this

 

[Trela]

>tfw dios weapon
>tfw slime
>tfw everyone else in your party has it too

Spoiler

 

[RT]

You're a tryhard, you will have one eventually.

 

[Player-4]

Yay, I'm part of the G-rank group.

Oh this gonna be good

 

[RT]

I'm going to try Great Jaggi on G-rank tonight. I'll probably post something along the lines of "Help help, I'm getting destroyed by THE GREAT PISS!"

 

[Player-4]

Nah G-rank Great Piss is still a push over. I'm concerned about real **** like Diablos and Crazy Jho and whatever else, because when Rathian's tail swipe can 2 shot my 540def Goldbeard armor, we have a problem.

 

[Fliphopper]

Oh wth. guess I need my Kelbi bow.

 

[RT]

I just want my hammer POWER.

 

[Gea]

You guys attempting G Rank solo:

 

[Airbrush_King]

Huge announcement coming soon so stay tuned!

 

[Zano]

G rank Great Baggis are on ****ing crack. If he decides to single you out, he'll **** you up, it's pretty funny to watch.