Alright so. It's been more than 24 hours since my last post so I can make another.
This may be long, but... I think it's probably for the best I assume Elma's done for. Maybe the presentation (which I won't watch out of anxiety) will have a pleasant surprise, more fighters after Volume 2 AND there's no X content whatsoever. I thought that way expecting Neku Sakuraba, another most wanted of mine, to be shot down in Sephiroth's presentation and by surprise, he wasn't. For what it's worth I also voted for Neku on the ballot. Not Elma cause her game came after the ballot in the west, but Mecha-Fiora was another vote on another then-work computer and she ended up in Shulk's FS.
At the risk of sounding like a sob story, I guess I'll explain everything. I apologize also for my erratic behavior in the past, as it was a way of masking some depression over the years due to irl circumstances which I'll get into shortly.
To me, Elma represents... promises I made. To myself, to friends... I had a pretty rough life so far, especially last decade. Certain events in particular last decade kinda... messed me up. Being bullied in another online community dedicated to an interest of mine that was rather small; feeling anxiety in returning to that niche interest since I feel I'd essentially been chased out; depression after losing a particular friend, first time temporarily and the second permanently (they were toxic all along but still); dealing with my dad's declining health which ended in his death just last year; having several other friends be perpetually AWOL; and losing several other friends due to either things I've did or said when I wasn't thinking; due to shelling up too much; or due to a certain person manipulating me. Some of those friends are friends with my mutual friends and I guess I... don't want my moots to end up picking a side so that hurts too. And living with a somewhat conservative mom who doesn't really believe in psychiatry after several bad experiences. So I sought out as many interests as I could to cope.
and like i mentioned here:
Of those friends I seemingly lost, only one seems to have somewhat made up with me/is open to mending bridges - one I considered like a little sister that I met in 2011. She and I deeply bonded so much, we had a lot of the same interests but also the same struggles. I know I got her to play Xenoblade X in 2016, after 4's DLC ended. We bonded over that, and it helped me cause 2016 was rough for me too mentally, for reasons I don't wish to disclose. She knew I supported Fiora for Smash as well and that I voted for her on the ballot. She said, "Hey, what if Fiora and/or Elma make it to Smash?" I thought that'd be cool.
In 2017, she blocked me on all social media suddenly before deactivating. I know she spoke in the past that she was very depressed, almost suicidal, and I did my best to support her, even suggesting a therapist. I at first thought it was something I did or said the days before that probably struck a nerve and didn't realize it and it broke my heart. 2017 was an awful year for me in general.
It was 2 years after that, precisely on the day Etika's body was found, that she DMed me on a now deleted throwaway account on social media explaining that her depression got worse and she shut herself away and even attempted suicide. That it wasn't my fault. I haven't heard from her since, but I hope she's doing better and that she'll one day reach out to me again. I also want to better myself and promise that I'll live my best life. Like Elma said, "Strength comes from experience."
I was hoping that... with the new smash, let alone EVERYONE IS HERE which made me so very happy, I did also vote for Snake on my phone then. But then... Fiora was added to Shulk's Final Smash, so I guess there went that. Chrom seems to be the exception when it comes to FS cameos being playable. So I shifted my support to Elma, maybe picking up a few more supports along the way like Octolings. She didn't make base, which I then thought was her best shot, but then two whole DLC passes happened. So much seemed to be in favor for her - Nintendo remembering X through that news article and putting Elma in 2 with a trailer to boot; Caitlin Glass's NDA announced after the first pass was announced; Hiroyuki Sawano's secret project, the gundam toy, and so much more. But then... there was Sakurai saying this is (more than likely) the last pass and I seriously doubt they'd double dip
franchises in the same pass let alone companies (Nintendo being immune to the company rule of course). Which wouldn't be so bad if EVERYONE IS HERE was likely a one time thing. I'm hoping that if this is the end, the sheer sales of Ultimate could convince an Ultimate Deluxe for the hypothetical Super Switch and Elma would still have a shot vs EVERYONE IS HERE AGAIN. but I do also hope that in the event the Super Switch is a long ways off, that Sakurai can make take a brief break then go back to more DLC since Ult did way better than 4 especially in terms of DLC, and they're considering extending the Switch's lifespan. 4 had a lot less DLC cuz let's face it, Wii U was DOA. And probably, Elma's mechanic wouldn't work on a 3DS idk. if not, like I said, crossovers with other Smash characters outside of Smash, like a Project X Zone 3, would be an excellent consolation prize (even though I think it was either the lead writer or programmer that left. idk if they can take up the mantle and continue without that person).
But... I feel like I couldn't keep those promises. So I'll be expecting this to be the end for her and maybe take a sabbatical until the presentation. maybe longer if there is X content and/or they said it will end soon for real. If that's the case I could return if one of my "back up" MWs are confirmed: Octoling from Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion; Ahri from League of Legends; or Reimu Hakurei from Touhou Project. I feel I haven't gotten anyone I was truly excited for this time around. Min Min made me happy, but not that happy. Shulk was I think the last one I actively wanted that was an "S-tier" want. Min Min was probably B-tier.
And also, to anyone I may have hurt, offended, or rubbed the wrong way: I'm sorry.