Death: Confront or Shy away?

[Elyssa Xey Hexen]

A number of months ago I recall a conversation I had with a physician about death and coping with the fears of it. The overall advice she was selling was to put the thoughts to the back of my mind. To think of other things in place of the original fears.

While contemplating about this method, it occurs to me that while this might be a good strategy for a number of decades, it will eventually be unavoidable. Everyone dies and there is no escape from that thought.

Therefore, while one still has many years ahead of them, would it beneficial to start a long journey into accepting and coping with the thought of one's own death or to continually ignore it?

I would purpose it is beneficial to confront it early. What does ignoring your own death provide? For one, it might be a relieve on the mind each day. Fewer things on the mind tends to remedy stress. On the other hand, facing death with purpose might add drive to one's life.

What might be a way with coping with death? Purpose by resolving the fact that one will die, but find recollection and relieve in the fact that life will continue on. Or while the flesh no longer lives, a biography or child and others you know still live on. By doing so, perhaps you work harder to achieve these end of life goals. You work harder to try leaving an imprint in the world that might benefit others.

Does anyone have any benefits to ignoring your death until much, much later in life? Perhaps more to add the opposite?

 

[Battlecow]

*ignores thread*

Seriously though, I totally bury my head in the sand about this. I'll find peace when I'm like 80. In the mean time it takes an actual effort of will to think about it deeply so I just never make that effort.

 

[Mr. game and watch]

I actually have no fear of death in and of itself.

I'm so certain in my religious beliefs that I know, without a doubt, I will see God after my death. My biggest fear, however, is that I get to heaven, see God, and somehow, after a life of trying to live for Him, I missed the big picture, and I relieve the scriptural "I never knew you, depart from me you evildoer."

The idea of leaving earth doesn't bother me, I have a heart condition that could be fatal, and I'm still in high school! And it hasn't bothered me a bit, I've gone to doctors who have said "well, take this medicine every day for the rest of your life, and it may keep your aorta from rupturing, but if you feel chest pain go to the hospital immediately."

Cool. I have no cares. My family and friends freak out, and I just shrug it off because I know. I know there's another life. Not like "religion brings security because you are told there's an afterlife. Wimps."

It's more like.

My life isn't mine, it's Gods, I don't care, so the security isn't in afterlife, that's actually what I'm most afraid off. The security is in the fact that I'm Gods, I gave Him my life, and who is the bread to complain when eaten by his baker?

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Eryx, if you don't mind me asking, you are still a dependent right?

 

[~ Gheb ~]

If ignoring the fact that you will die one day is supposedly counter-productive to coping with that fact then how is confronting it any better? It's not like you will learn or gain anything from it - death will remain a mystery and your questions about it will remain unanswered. The truth is that it doesn't make a difference whether you confront it or not. Neither option is better than the other.

Based on my past exprience working with old people I can tell you though that your attitude towards death will change one day. You might be terrified by the thought of it right now but that's because you are young and have a fulfilled life that you don't want to lose. Understandably so. But when you've reached the age of 80+ or so and you can't walk on your own anymore and every day is just pain for you then you will look at matters differently.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Gheb that's not how Q&A works.

 

[Elyssa Xey Hexen]

@Acrostic: Dependent, yes. Not sure what that has to do with anything though other than curiosity lol

@Gheb: "...death will remain a mystery and your questions about it will remain unanswered."
With this statement and the rest of that paragraph, you seem to be implying that my questions pertains to what is after death or what it is like.

No. This is not my point at all. I am talking about a choice. A choice one is making while still alive. A simple choice I feel many people make everyday that goes unchanged for years. One either puts off death to the back of their mind whenever it is presented to them and ignores the implications of what it will mean when it happens. Or, they confront it early and start making decisions early on about it. For example, what do you want to spend the rest of your life doing? How would you like to die? Is it important at all to be a donor or offer your body to experimentation?

So, the questions I am asking are not about what awaits a person in death. I am talking about the benefits of having your choices be influenced by your eventual death or have your choices be influenced by a carefree attitude removing your own death from consideration.

 

[~ Gheb ~]

And my point remains exactly the same with the exception of the sentence you quoted.

 

[Muhti]

You're going to face it anyways. Just live a normal life, take some dares in your life as well as commiting and then

*plomp*

Dead.

 

[GwJ]

I've never been very bad about dealing with death. The last time I cried over someone's death, it was Nagisa in Clannad, and before that it was Jack in Titanic when I was like 7 years old.

I'm an atheist, so I don't hold any afterlife-inclinations and thus I have no fear of punishment for myself or anyone else. Further, I'm not scared of death myself. I'm scared of DYING, because I hear dying is painful sometimes and I don't like pain. I'm so apathetic to death that I think the only reason why suicide is bad is because of the effects it has on other people who are still living.

 

[Muhti]

The last time I cried over someone's death, it was Nagisa in Clannad.

I love you.

 

[Sucumbio]

You're going to face it anyways. Just live a normal life, take some dares in your life as well as commiting and then

*plomp*

Dead.

Agreed although for discussion's sake... imagine it being a slow death... 30 or 35 years old and "oh, and yeah, you're going to die."

"No &&&& sherlock."

"Soon."

"oh... how soon?"

"Could be a year could be 4 months."

Ha. Do I continue until I'm in so much pain I kill myself?

Do I submit to standard treatment and have a percent chance at living at least a year and maybe just maybe if enough nuns pray over me like they did my grandma i'll live?

Now moving out of the theoretical box, think of whether it's important to face your own mortality ahead of time...

I think that there's enough "death" around us, so ignoring it is futile. To consider it is natural but the physician's judgement is sound. Doctors promote wellness which fits even this discussion in terms of healthy acceptance of death.

I think the best way to accept death is to allow it to be introduced naturally. There's no need to sit your children down and discuss death until a death is relevant, though technically this includes television

Spoiler

which is why you don't let them watch death until you're ready to discuss with them what it is they're watching

.

 

[Yodery]

On October 10, 2012, I lost my older brother to suicide, and well... I just wish I was there to talk to him and yeah... I dont know what to say. :/

 

[Holder of the Heel]

There seems to be only two ways to not fear death when it is in a context in relation to us, one implying cognizance of it and the other not. The first is having a desire for it. Not to say that one necessarily pines for it, but the capability to find contentment in the idea of ending your story at its present chapter (and opening another book, depending on your belief). The second is to simply not to have it on the forefront of your mind, for insofar as you fail to find any contentment or desire for it, the context of you acquiring it is going to obviously follow with a proportionate lack of preference and thus avoidance (thus fear, yada yada). This is probably what is likened to "bravery" or "courage" in a lot of stories, and probably many people in our world. In the face of a scenario where death is either all but certain or at least possible, the "brave" individual, in the face of such a possibility, clings to their desire or duty or what-have-you and meet that potential head on notwithstanding. So basically, such a person doesn't necessarily find any contentment at all in their idea of dying, but nonetheless is without active fear of death because something supersedes it.

To word each method another way, one may "fear" death in that they have a strong preference for living, but not actively be "fearing" death because that lack of preference isn't at the forefront of one's mind, effectively ignoring the context of death in relation to that individual. The first example can be taken as quite literally not having fear for it by either preferring it or finding a sense of peace from it.

But as Battlecow implies, most of the time there is no context to which death is in relation to us in life to the point where you'd have to intentionally try and be hard-pressed to even need the two methods described up above.

 

[Ussi]

I would say the best way to combat your own death is the live like you won't live tomorrow... but don't go overboard with it like some yolo people do. Basically I mean you just be happy with how you are now. Don't feel stressed out with by the feeling of not getting far in life or by wanting to leave a legacy behind. Have patience

 

[Teran]

I say cross that bridge when you come to it. Plaguing yourself with thoughts of death in your early years just seems pointless.

 

[Terywj [태리]]

I say cross that bridge when you come to it. Plaguing yourself with thoughts of death in your early years just seems pointless.

Agreed. Pointless, hazardous, even destructive depending on the thoughts.

 

[Claire Diviner]

For some reason, I've thought of the movie, "The Bucket List", regardless of how relevant it is to the topic.

That aside, I've already come to terms with the concept of death some years back. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to die now, not because I fear death itself, but because there are things in life I still want to do. Otherwise, death is something we shouldn't fear; before I was born, the lack of existence (assuming the concept reincarnation and multiple lives is false) was of no hindrance to me, so death should be of no inconvenience either.

 

[Teran]

I suppose the only useful thoughts of mortality at this age are just the general idea that you have limited time on this planet, and not to dilly dally and waste time with your goals/ambitions.

Apart from that, yeah, what I said before.

 

[Dre89]

I think a good way to live life is to act as if you only have 6 months to live. Terminally ill people don't care about trivial things that you're average pedestrain puts so much value into everyday, and they're more likely to speak their mind and just do what's actually important to them.

 

[Sucumbio]

I suppose the only useful thoughts of mortality at this age are just the general idea that you have limited time on this planet, and not to dilly dally and waste time with your goals/ambitions.

Apart from that, yeah, what I said before.

I got chastised for my love of goalism by my old college roomate who worked at a starbucks and banged jews. Mind you he held 2 degrees... but dem jews. or was it the coffee? ...

Spoiler

where's the people's eyebrow emoticon when you need one?

[COLLAPSE="-_^"]

Spoiler

[/COLLAPSE]

Dre. ... haha yeah... I guess... that's kinda hard to do all the time though cause it's ... I dunno, it's just not real. But if one takes the time to refashion themselves to incorporate a neediness or urgency about their endeavors then certainly it'd result in some good achievements, though it could also lead to obsession. Six months is a bit short, though... that's what I'd call a ****y deal. Five years, that's a little easier on the noggin to assimilate.

Ever watch East of Eden? It's an interesting take on this subject matter. Of course the key difference is that one would need to pretend they only have x months/years to live vs. it actually being true... then again, we can any of us go at any moment, so... yah.

 

[GreenKirby]

Henry from Fire Emblem 13 said it best: " I want to die a bloody and horrible death. But it has to be painless. I don't like ouchies."

 

[GofG]

You are all insane.

Death is not some natural law, built into the universe. Do you seriously think that by the year 3000, we will still have death? I can think of a dozen ways we might end death, from mind uploading (for backup purposes, or to actually run actively) to significant advances in neuroscience leading to a reversal of neuron failure, to a hard singularity, to general advances in medicine crossing a threshold where by the average life expectancy increases by more than one year every year.

There's nothing in the laws of physics which implies that it would be impossible for a human mind to continue existing for arbitrarily large amounts of time. And if you say something like "death gives meaning to life", I would point you to all the studies done about humans rationalizing things which are negative and unchangeable as being somehow good.

If I offered to hit you on the head with a hammer once a week, you would say hell no. But if I hit every human on the head with a hammer, pretty soon there would be people explaining how getting hit on the head every day builds character, or makes you appreciate the days you don't get hit on the head, or makes those days "more meaningful", or maybe if those ideas didn't convince people that it was okay, maybe they would invent some crazy untestable theories with supernatural explanations. And if you told people that you could make the hammers stop hitting, forever, they would be angry at the suggestion.

This ridiculousness is also full-force in the majority of humans' thoughts of death. Death is bad! Being afraid of death is like being afraid of a giant scary monster with claws! And if humans could stop throwing immortality in the "fantasy" (or worse, the "cult") section of their brain, maybe we could get to work on the problem. We only cryonically froze 3 people last year. Cryonics has HUGE economy of scale benefits. If the government subsidized Alcor or the Cryonics Institute, we could freeze and store a person for geological time spans, with provably no loss of data from an information theoretical standpoint, for like $100 each. It's ridiculously cost effective.

But we've rationalized death so completely that we don't even notice that we should be working on the problem instead of learning to accept it. It's... it's too awful to just accept it.

When we have spread out amongst the stars, they won't tell children that there ever was any such thing as death, as ceasing to exist, and when they do hear they will cry for all of those who died, back on ancient earth, before humans stopped pussying around and actually did something about the greatest and worst and hardest evil to ever plague earth-originating life.

 

[#HBC | ѕoup]

Memento Mori.