Mikau et al
Smash Journeyman
There are some characters that just didn't deserve to be in Brawl.
R.O.B.: Nintendo's unofficial "mascot," even though no one knows about it because it's only had like two cameos in twenty years. Those of you who say R.O.B. saved Nintendo: I reply that R.O.B. saved Nintendo once; Mario and Zelda have kept saved Nintendo countless times. Were it not for well-established staples like them, Nintendo would have died amidst Pikmin and Animal Crossing crap years ago. Not that I hate Olimar, it's just that people are more likely to buy a Wii for the next installment of a well-established series than something as bizarre as that. I know I didn't. And Nintendo only continues to get more bizarre with its new games. Yet we get R.O.B., while the Mario series loses a roster slot from Melee, and Zelda gets a character makeover. And the only decent retro character we gain is Pit. That is hardly fair. Which brings me to my next most-loathed character:
Toon Link: How many times do I have to get it through people's skulls? Toon Link is just an uglified version of Link. I don't care how different his physics are, he has the same **** moves, and will always be the same **** character. You can try to fit the different Links together throughout Hylian history until kingdom come and it still won't matter because Nintendo doesn't give a **** about that aspect of the Zelda games. It cares about continuing the series to make more money and will continue to create more and more variations of the same mythological character to achieve its own selfish ends. There are more original characters who are just as representative of the Zelda series than Toon Link/Young Link/Wolf Link/Masks Link/Fierce Diety Link/Dark World Bunny Link/Any other lame version of Link you guys can think of. And that isn't even considering the fact that WW was probably the biggest letdown in the history of Zelda games. People are so stupid. To those who wanted Toon Link as a PC: you deserve the cloniest clone of all time that Toon Link is. I really hope this cel-shading fad goes away before the next SSB.
And to round off the list: Ike. Sort of the same issue with Toon Link. I know they are different characters and that they at least have different special moves (sort of Mario/Luigi-ish, cuz of the counter), but FE has billions of characters to choose from. And we get two swordsmen. Nay, we get two blue-haired swordsmen. I don't know where the message got skewed on it's way up to Sakurai, but how the hell did word get out that people were okay with such lack of creativity? It's really pathetic. There are plenty of females in FE, there are plenty of staff/dagger/axe/magic-wielding characters in FE, there are plenty of non-blue-haired people in FE. I just find this an extreme lack of ingenuity. Or is FE (or are FE fans) really that boring?
And considering how much effort was put into making this game all about Kirby, I would have expected DeDeDe to suck less. Stupid Kirby fascism.
And I do agree that Pit is a very obnoxious opponent. Deserving of a roster spot, but annoying as hell.
R.O.B.: Nintendo's unofficial "mascot," even though no one knows about it because it's only had like two cameos in twenty years. Those of you who say R.O.B. saved Nintendo: I reply that R.O.B. saved Nintendo once; Mario and Zelda have kept saved Nintendo countless times. Were it not for well-established staples like them, Nintendo would have died amidst Pikmin and Animal Crossing crap years ago. Not that I hate Olimar, it's just that people are more likely to buy a Wii for the next installment of a well-established series than something as bizarre as that. I know I didn't. And Nintendo only continues to get more bizarre with its new games. Yet we get R.O.B., while the Mario series loses a roster slot from Melee, and Zelda gets a character makeover. And the only decent retro character we gain is Pit. That is hardly fair. Which brings me to my next most-loathed character:
Toon Link: How many times do I have to get it through people's skulls? Toon Link is just an uglified version of Link. I don't care how different his physics are, he has the same **** moves, and will always be the same **** character. You can try to fit the different Links together throughout Hylian history until kingdom come and it still won't matter because Nintendo doesn't give a **** about that aspect of the Zelda games. It cares about continuing the series to make more money and will continue to create more and more variations of the same mythological character to achieve its own selfish ends. There are more original characters who are just as representative of the Zelda series than Toon Link/Young Link/Wolf Link/Masks Link/Fierce Diety Link/Dark World Bunny Link/Any other lame version of Link you guys can think of. And that isn't even considering the fact that WW was probably the biggest letdown in the history of Zelda games. People are so stupid. To those who wanted Toon Link as a PC: you deserve the cloniest clone of all time that Toon Link is. I really hope this cel-shading fad goes away before the next SSB.
And to round off the list: Ike. Sort of the same issue with Toon Link. I know they are different characters and that they at least have different special moves (sort of Mario/Luigi-ish, cuz of the counter), but FE has billions of characters to choose from. And we get two swordsmen. Nay, we get two blue-haired swordsmen. I don't know where the message got skewed on it's way up to Sakurai, but how the hell did word get out that people were okay with such lack of creativity? It's really pathetic. There are plenty of females in FE, there are plenty of staff/dagger/axe/magic-wielding characters in FE, there are plenty of non-blue-haired people in FE. I just find this an extreme lack of ingenuity. Or is FE (or are FE fans) really that boring?
And considering how much effort was put into making this game all about Kirby, I would have expected DeDeDe to suck less. Stupid Kirby fascism.
And I do agree that Pit is a very obnoxious opponent. Deserving of a roster spot, but annoying as hell.
