Sukai
Smash Champion
Link to original post: [drupal=2754]Am I lonely?[/drupal]
I had a dream recently.
It felt like a music video, I could hear distant music in the back of my head, what it was, I don't know.
I was walking in the rain, no umbrella, everywhere I turn there were happy couples, one umbrella for two, talking, loving, enjoying each other.
Not me of course. I was drenched, and world around me was gray and I was gray to the world around me.
Every time I close my eyes, it seemed that my life transitioned to a wedding, I was the husband to be. It was on an island, outside, the sun was out, the skies were clear, there were doves behind me, ready to fly off on cue. My family was on the left side, and 10 or so faceless people were on the right side. Everyone was smiling, even the faceless ones, I could feel their happiness, not for me, but for my bride, who was also faceless, and every 3 seconds or so, her body, hair, and all around figure would change to that of a different woman, the transition was seamless as I had to refresh my eyes every time.
I open my eyes, back in the rain, gray to the world and the world gray to me, the banging of the rain drops slamming against the ground, the mild, distance sound of thunder over a blank sky, one particular girl is in the distance, in full color, like me. She's too far away in the crowd of couples to see distinctively, but her full color was what caught my eye. I close them again, and is returned to my wedding.
The body of my bride is still changing, almost as a symbol of indecisiveness. We join hands and say our vows, the music still slight in my ear, although you can hear the birds, tweet like a hum of a harp, or a subtle synth that you'll hear in an ambient tune, the wind blowing through our ears, despite all these sounds joining in harmony to the indefinable tune in my head, our mouths say nothing--or rather we are, but I cannot hear them, the words, even though unheard, were almost tangible, as I could feel the love in every word I said, and every word she said.
My eyes open.
The crows of couples began to clear out, as they're headed for one direction, I see the girl in color approaching, and just to blink, my eyes close briefly. In that brief blink I'm back at the wedding, I see her face, beautiful, her smile perfect, her hair, tastefully styled, her voice--which I can now hear, bears an image of the gates of heaven opening before me and open arms welcoming me inside.
"I do."
I hold her face under her chin with both palms, the doves are flying, making a sound of soft bells and I lean in to kiss the woman who I want to grow old with, have children with, be one with.
Her body dissipates into pedals of flowers of white and they fly into the wind. everything is silent again, the pedals float in the wind and blends into the noir of doves fluttering about.
My eyes open, and the girl in color is arm and arm to another males, with no face.
I stop and they pass me by, to go where the other couples are headed.
My face is so wet from the rain, I couldn't even tell that I was crying.
There is no music.
The rain is still beating on my head, bashing violently against the ground, as I close my eyes again.
And only see darkness.
What did this dream mean?
Am I lonely? Is it time to search for someone, or did she already move on...?
I had a dream recently.
It felt like a music video, I could hear distant music in the back of my head, what it was, I don't know.
I was walking in the rain, no umbrella, everywhere I turn there were happy couples, one umbrella for two, talking, loving, enjoying each other.
Not me of course. I was drenched, and world around me was gray and I was gray to the world around me.
Every time I close my eyes, it seemed that my life transitioned to a wedding, I was the husband to be. It was on an island, outside, the sun was out, the skies were clear, there were doves behind me, ready to fly off on cue. My family was on the left side, and 10 or so faceless people were on the right side. Everyone was smiling, even the faceless ones, I could feel their happiness, not for me, but for my bride, who was also faceless, and every 3 seconds or so, her body, hair, and all around figure would change to that of a different woman, the transition was seamless as I had to refresh my eyes every time.
I open my eyes, back in the rain, gray to the world and the world gray to me, the banging of the rain drops slamming against the ground, the mild, distance sound of thunder over a blank sky, one particular girl is in the distance, in full color, like me. She's too far away in the crowd of couples to see distinctively, but her full color was what caught my eye. I close them again, and is returned to my wedding.
The body of my bride is still changing, almost as a symbol of indecisiveness. We join hands and say our vows, the music still slight in my ear, although you can hear the birds, tweet like a hum of a harp, or a subtle synth that you'll hear in an ambient tune, the wind blowing through our ears, despite all these sounds joining in harmony to the indefinable tune in my head, our mouths say nothing--or rather we are, but I cannot hear them, the words, even though unheard, were almost tangible, as I could feel the love in every word I said, and every word she said.
My eyes open.
The crows of couples began to clear out, as they're headed for one direction, I see the girl in color approaching, and just to blink, my eyes close briefly. In that brief blink I'm back at the wedding, I see her face, beautiful, her smile perfect, her hair, tastefully styled, her voice--which I can now hear, bears an image of the gates of heaven opening before me and open arms welcoming me inside.
"I do."
I hold her face under her chin with both palms, the doves are flying, making a sound of soft bells and I lean in to kiss the woman who I want to grow old with, have children with, be one with.
Her body dissipates into pedals of flowers of white and they fly into the wind. everything is silent again, the pedals float in the wind and blends into the noir of doves fluttering about.
My eyes open, and the girl in color is arm and arm to another males, with no face.
I stop and they pass me by, to go where the other couples are headed.
My face is so wet from the rain, I couldn't even tell that I was crying.
There is no music.
The rain is still beating on my head, bashing violently against the ground, as I close my eyes again.
And only see darkness.
What did this dream mean?
Am I lonely? Is it time to search for someone, or did she already move on...?
