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Abolish the Nazi-Commie Nightmare of Public Firefighting

CRASHiC

Smash Hero
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
7,267
Location
Haiti Gonna Hait
Link to original post: [drupal=2259]Abolish the Nazi-Commie Nightmare of Public Firefighting[/drupal]



The patriots who have killed off this so-called "public option" for so-called "healthcare reform" need to learn from the mistakes the first President Bush made way back in 1991 when he chickened out and blew his chance to march all the way to Baghdad and dethrone Saddam Hussein.
Unlike Poppy Bush, today's pro-corporate, pro-capitalist warriors need to show some backbone. They need to keep marching. Because, though they are on a righteous path, they have been thinking small. Way too small.

Consider this your formal invitation to join in THE fight for the future of American freedom. I'm referring to the fight to abolish public firefighting. For too long we have endured the socialistic nightmare of tyrannical laws that incite our neighbors to call 911 and report us TO THE GOVERNMENT when our homes are on fire.

Americans are so brainwashed that only a tiny, patriotic sliver of us have truly understood the fascist flood that gushes from taxpayer-funded fire hoses every day in these United States. The facts are chilling. So wake up, America!

FACT: When a neighbor reports your burning home to the government, you as the property owner are helpless. The taxpayer-funded sirens come ever closer, whether you like it or not, until finally the trucks arrive on your property. Soon your door is bashed from its hinges, your windows are in shards, your belongings are soaked with the fluoridated poison that passes for a municipal water supply.

FACT: You as the property owner get no say whatsoever as to who is sent to extinguish a blaze in your home. The government DOES NOT CARE about the sacred trust that is supposed to exist between an individual homeowner and the individual firefighter he would select to be the defender of his little piece of the American dream. No. Instead, callous government bureaucrats DECIDE FOR US which masked, helmeted strangers will be dispatched to breach our supposedly sacred homes. Breathing taxpayer-funded oxygen from taxpayer-funded tanks, these strangers even have the authority to snatch our children from their beds. Our children! FROM THEIR BEDS! Again, I say: WAKE UP, AMERICA!

FACT: Government bureaucrats decide which firefighting services will be available and which will be rationed. Under a market-based system, we would be able to contract for firefighting that is tailored to our individual needs. Instead, we get this one-size-fits-all travesty of a system. Just one example: Try calling 911 and asking for a firefighter to come blow out your birthday candles. At best, the bureaucrats will laugh at you. At worst, the bureaucrats will send straightjacket-wielding thugs to your home. All the while, it is you -- the taxpayer, the property owner -- who is paying the salaries of these jackals and hyenas.

FACT: The property owner loses all authority to decide what or whom should be saved from his burning home. The unthinking bureaucratic drones will always choose human life over an inanimate object. Heaven help you if you want the firefighters to save some precious possession and let your house guests burn alive. The bureaucrats refuse to listen.
Even if your house guests are parasites who have overstayed their welcome.

Even if your house guests are the sort of people who write satire.
Even if the precious object is a Bible.
Even if the precious object an American flag.
Even if the precious object is the original copy of the Second Amendment.

Without fail, the bureaucrats will save the parasite, save the satirist. Without fail, they will let the Bible burn, let the American flag burn, let our God-given right to bear arms go up in flames. Can there be any more clear evidence of the tyranny we are up against? NO!

Keep marching.

If we seize this moment, if we maintain this momentum, we can give our children an America free from the totalitarian, communist abomination of public firefighting.

Keep marching!
KEEP MARCHING!

HERE IS THE ORIGINAL PIECE:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-qui ... 61731.html
 

El Nino

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Jul 4, 2003
Messages
1,289
Location
Ground zero, 1945
The Onion is a satirical fake newspaper. This article from the Huffington is also a parody.

I have grievances with its outlook and its oversimplification of the issue (beginning with the cheap shot in the first paragraph), but I'll save that for another time. It does make one good point regarding which services are already provided by the government and the similarity in principle to public option healthcare. It doesn't make any other points though.
 

Falconv1.0

Smash Master
Joined
Feb 15, 2008
Messages
3,511
Location
Talking **** in Cali
I wonder how long before Glenn Beck puts this on his show
I lol'd hard.

Also, if somehow this was completely serious and there was a way of proving someone could possibly be that ****ing crazy yet able enough to write a blog like this, I'd die laughing.

Get on it crazy people.
 

REL38

Smash Lord
Joined
Dec 14, 2008
Messages
1,849
Location
Laughing while sayin' "idunno" with heav
Down with the government, MAN! The Man trying to bring us down, MAN! What is this!? Did I just wake up in Russia!? Down with those Commi *******s!

In all due seriousness though, do you wanna lose your Xbox 360 or your entire house?
 

Pelikinesis

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
365
Location
Somewhere in Nevada...
The only logical method of protesting this fascist firefighting is by having all protesters simultaneously set their own houses ablaze and refuse to let the firefighters do anything about it. While not wearing pants.

We got this, guys. We got this.
 

demonictoonlink

Smash Master
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
3,113
Location
Colorado
Simpson Rush Limbaugh did it

I love you and I love this blog. Therefore, this blog is loved and you should feel loved.
 
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