It's good to know there are such charitable people in the world. You guys are putting a lot of effort into making our lives easier for little to no reward, which is admirable.
By the way, am I the only one who thinks a lot of those superfluous new topics would be prevented if the Welcome Wagon was the first sticky in the list, with the "READ THIS FIRST" part in 40-point bold font and colored a shade of bright, eye-searing red that is visible from outer Earth orbit? Right now the thread is at the bottom of the sticky list and no self-respecting newbie bothers to read that far down the page before clicking the shiny, seductive "New Topic" button. I think the key here is to get their attention by being as obnoxious as possible.
...Man, I'm so jaded. It's probably a very good thing that I'm not a moderator.