Uncle Kenny's Poems

[Jazzy Jinx]

Meh. I dug up a few poems around my room here and there. I got bored so I decided to share my "unbelievable works of literature" (joke) with you guys. So far, I only re-made one of them. I have to type the others up on word and then copy/paste them here before I can share them. Until then, tell me what you think of my poem style.

---

Therein Lies Beauty

A tear rolls down my cheek,
I quench my soul.
The object of my desire,
Lost to distance.

An annoyance of my past,
In my business always.
The persistent mistress,
Longing for me, I oppose.

An abstract beauty,
I don’t see it.
Though it is not a stranger,
Lost from my thought.

A skin absent of lust,
I refuse her.
Though we bond,
Love is killed by appearance.

August, trees cry tears of colors,
It was when it happened.
Temptation occurs,
Lively, a single kiss.

And I realize,
Internally she is unrivaled.
Therein lies beauty,
Lasting always, untouched by time.

After while though,
I hear grim news.
The night veils,
Locked her fate.

As my eyes weaken,
In my soul, with it.
Torn from me,
Lost to distance.

And though gloomy,
I understand.
Time separates us,
Lily, reunited you and I, when I die.

---

I didn't really like the last verse since it was longer than all the other ones but I wanted to stay true to my A-I-T-L pattern. And this is completely fictional, I don't know anyone named Lily. I just felt spontaneous one day. Well, tell me what you guys think and I may or may not listen.

 

[demoncaterpie]

I like this.

I don't know if you were intentionally changing the rhythm, but it worked out for this poem. Nice job. That's all I can say.

 

[AceMoney]

This is really good! Wha?!?! You got banned? WTF?! How did this happen?

 

[Jazzy Jinx]

D***, I'm lazy...

I want to redo the poem in the first post in haiku format but retain the AITL pattern...

That will be time consuming but once I do it, I'll show you guys.

@AceMoney: I requested it.

 

[OnYourMark]

What is an A-I-T-L pattern?

LOL... Eorlingashed!

 

[Invincible]

Check each sentence. The first sentence begins with an "A", the second with an "I", the third with a "T", and the last with an "L".

Each verse has this pattern.

Oh yeah, and I requested that ban as well. Oh noez... Uncle Kenny made a SECOND account?!?

3 more days and I'll be back.

 

[RDK]

Kenny, that was really good. I liked the verse style, and there was deeper meaning to it, which alway makes it better.

It's funny, though, that you just spontaneously put "Lily" in there.

Demoncaterpie, haven't seen any of your latest works on the forums...I always liked your creative writing.

 

[demoncaterpie]

Kenny, that was really good. I liked the verse style, and there was deeper meaning to it, which alway makes it better.

It's funny, though, that you just spontaneously put "Lily" in there.

Demoncaterpie, haven't seen any of your latest works on the forums...I always liked your creative writing.

Thanks for the compliment!

This section kind of died after the whole "WWYP" fiasco, which is a shame, because I really liked posting stuff on here.

Oh well, hopefully everything will turn out alright.

 

[Scav]

This section kind of died after the whole "WWYP" fiasco, which is a shame, because I really liked posting stuff on here.

yes that fiasco was a shame i apologize and take full responsibility for these poems

 

[RDK]

yes that fiasco was a shame i apologize and take full responsibility for these poems

...fiasco? Please enlighten me, because I kind of stopped coming to Creative Minds after WWYP started up, so what do you mean?

P.S: Scav, I've always wanted to ask you this...what does TIRES DON EXITS mean???

 

[OnYourMark]

P.S: Scav, I've always wanted to ask you this...what does TIRES DON EXITS mean???

i think it means tiers don't exist... in some kind of perverted Scav "comical" anti-grammar/spelling-ness.

but that's just my perception of it.

 

[demoncaterpie]

...fiasco? Please enlighten me, because I kind of stopped coming to Creative Minds after WWYP started up, so what do you mean?

P.S: Scav, I've always wanted to ask you this...what does TIRES DON EXITS mean???

Scav's comment confused me to (not the tires don exits one, the other thing).

 

[Eor]

...really?

yes that fiasco was a shame i apologize and take full responsibility for these poemsc

yes that fiasco was a shame i apologize

He's talking about not posting his wwyp scores

and take full responsibility for these poemsc

He's saying the poems are terrible and are the result of this room being dead, caused by him not posting his score, and so he apologizes.

Though that seems more like something Matt would say

Edit!:

August, trees cry tears of colors,

ahahahahahhahaha

 

[demoncaterpie]

Oh, so it was an insult to the poem writers in this room.

I had a feeling that's what it was, I was just hoping it wasn't.

 

[Scav]

Though that seems more like something Matt would say

It's almost as though he's in my apartment, clogging my tubez.

Tires don Exits is self explanatory, my friend.

 

[Revolutions]

Though that seems more like something Matt would say

I'm insulted

 

[Jazzy Jinx]

get teh hell outta my topicz u.

 

[Blood-Katana]

cool
(needs to make this message longer cause the picture i tried to post wouldn't post)

 

[Treget]

Wow, that was awful.
"The trees cry tears of colors"?
WTF?
God, I don't even know you people.

 

[Jazzy Jinx]

Why thank you. I made this poem in five minutes. Huzzah!

Whatever happened to constructive critism? =(

 

[Treget]

Don't lie. It took you hours.

Does everything you do take five minutes?
What's your excuse for the rest of this crap?

 

[Yoshi-lord]

Treget is so mean..


Don't worry, I like your poem!!

 

[Treget]

Inappropriate. (~Scav)

 

[demoncaterpie]

Don't mind the morons on this site, you wrote a very nice poem.

Although it was kinda corny, it still worked pretty well. I would work on your rhyme scheme next time.

I'm sure Treget will say the same thing once he gets off his period.

 

[UtopianPoyzin]

Inappropriate. (~Scav)

Thank you, have a nice day 3rd user of Smashboards Mr. Treget.