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Which team are you on this weekend?


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staindgrey

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Oh, you know what it means. I know, because you even called me by my first name.

R E A L M E A T. LOOK AT IT.
View attachment 230947


F R E S H. N E V E R F R O Z E N.

You can't tell me you're not completely questioning what it is you're putting inside of you when you bite into that "cheeseburger" or "McChicken" sandwich. It may taste good, but underneath that masquerade of flavor is who knows what. Wendy's though? Bruh, that's the bees knees. That's real ****. Even if you devour thousands of calories in one sitting, there's no doubt you feel like a champion.

McDonalds is like "guilty-pleasure" tier. It's like the local "Mexican" chain restaurant in Western New York, Mighty Taco. They ****ing put sour cream on the food with a ****ing caulk gun, and I'm convinced at this point that any employees that lost the will to live while working there just become the taco "meat". At least, that's the headcanon among my friends and myself. It tastes amazing, but I don't know what the flying **** I just ate.
Okay, dial it back Arin Hanson.



Call me when you have a real burger.
 
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Fresh McDonalds fries are masterclass fast food and are the only reason I ever bother going there anymore.
Everything else on their menu is either average or below.
oooooh, here's something interesting I just thought of.

I worked at McDonald's for a few months. Due to working there during the summer, I ordered a lot of staff discount meals during my time there. So, while I don't like them much anymore, I know this menu a little too well.

SO LET'S GRADE AND REVIEW EACH AND EVERY MAJOR FOOD ITEM THAT I'VE TRIED THERE (tiers are not ordered):
S tier- nothing
A tier-
  • Hotcakes with Maple Syrup- Large, fluffy pancakes with sugary goodness on top? Count me in...will do well in a pinch, but the syrup isn't 100% authentic so while the flavoring is alright, the syrup itself is even more adhesive than 100% maple syrup that's all the rage in Canada and the North-eastern United States.
  • Fruit and Maple Oatmeal- Pleasant surprise. Was tempted to place it in S tier due to the pleasant surprise I had when I first tried this meal...although the raisins within the mix are typically average at best rather than "fresh." Either way...I'll actually order this regularly.
B tier-
  • Egg McMuffin- The eggs used in this dish are real, live eggs. I made these far too often back in the summer of 2015, but it's a decent sandwich. The muffin itself could use some work due to blandness, but the ingredients within? Not half bad. The ham/Canadian bacon brightens the sandwich all on its own.
  • Fruit and Yogurt Parfait- Not a bad dish. Other places do the parfait more justice, but the fruity treat is a nice, healthy alternative to the typically unhealthy items at the golden arches.
  • Sausage breakfast burrito- I truly enjoy the mix of ingredients, but the burrito itself is small and other restaurants do burritos a little better.
  • McDouble/Double cheeseburger- The only thing that separates these two sandwiches is an extra slice of cheese, so I'm lumping them together. Anyway, this sandwich is actually pretty decent. The beef patties are average at best, but since there's two patties instead of one...it feels more worth it. If I'm looking to save money, this option isn't half-bad.
  • Cookies- Not bad. Pretty decent, small dessert fare.
  • Fruit smoothies- Pleasant surprise for 2/3 flavors. I highly enjoy their Strawberry x Banana flavor, as with the Blueberry x Pom flavor. But the mango flavor? Eh...
  • French Fries- OOOOOOO boy, I'm ready for controversy. A decent snack, for sure...but I enjoy fries that are a little thicker and have more flavor. McD's fries are legendary, and they're iconic...I'll give them that. And, their taste is overall good. But when you compare it to giants like Arby's curly fries, or Five Guys Cajun fries, and a miriad of other fries...McD's fries still come up positive, but there are more preferred options out there.
C tier-
  • Sausage McMuffin- Sausage has a bland taste to it and can be a little too greasy on occasion. The muffin, of course, leaves more to be desired...but the cheese and egg is decent enough.
  • Sausage McGriddle- The bread has maple syrup flavoring within, which is pretty neat. However, the sandwich itself is very small.
  • Buttermilk Crispy Tenders- A huge step up from their nuggets, but there still leaves much to be desired. The strips are smaller than other establishments and the spices are hit or miss for me depending on the day.
  • Artisan Grilled Chicken- Not bad for a McD's chicken meal, but there are better chicken places out there. The grilled chicken itself is pretty good, but I'm not keen on their sauce that they use.
  • Southwest Salad- Would rate it higher since many of the ingredients within are actually pretty dang good. But the base of it, the lettuce...is typically average, and on occasion borderline wilted. Not for me, I guess. But if the McD location is having a good day...it might be something that I'll order.
  • Apple pie- Would rate higher, but when you have home-made apple pie on Thanksgiving and compare it to this...the good impression kinda falls off. But, it's not bad. It serves its purpose well.
D tier-
  • Breakfast Biscuit- I love the bacon. Bacon is life. But the biscuit buns that I've had are typically dry and painfully dull. The egg is also from a carton rather than Grade A egg from a chicken farm, so I'm not completely sure where such egg was purchased. Either way, this sandwich was disappointing.
  • Hash browns- Initial solid taste, but poor aftertaste. The sheer high amount of grease can upset my stomach half the time, due to a weak digestive system. I'll never get two at a time, and I'll only eat one on great occasion.
  • Buttermilk Chicken Sandwich- Crispy yet somehow devoid of flavor. It's McDonald's chicken for ya, I guess. But, it could be far worse. It's just forgettable overall.
  • McChicken- Not bad, but overall forgettable. The taste itself is better than expected, and considering the chicken here is from McD's...I expected worse when I first tried this.
  • McFlurry- Would be at LEAST A tier if their dang machine wasn't broken half the time. It's not just a meme people...it's a phenomenon. Corporate needs to buff their machine design.
E tier-
  • Big Mac- Overrated, overhyped, and oversized. The secret sauce is enjoyable at least, but dang it this big mac is too big for its own good. The sandwich normally falls victim to falling apart on itself whenever I try to eat the stupid thing. It's just too messy and tedious to fully enjoy.
  • Quarter Pounder- I used to love this sandwich, but McDonald's patties are typically dry. And, with something heavier like the QP, the dry meat becomes only more obvious and harder to hide. I don't like this sandwich. If the beef used was actually good, then it would be significantly higher. But, McDonald's beef is typically average at best. And, QP beef is always dry when I purchase. I like the onion flair at least.
  • Single Cheeseburger- Sad and wimpy, there's not much here at all. Possibly the smallest, thinnest standard fast food burger in existence, this patty isn't worth it at all. I always aim for the McDouble instead because then it feels worth it, at least to some degree.
  • Chicken Nuggets- Wannabe chicken strips, and McD's nuggets aren't even all that. And, why would you want to go to McD's for chicken anyway? Try Chick-Fil-A or Popeye's instead; oh my lanta. Either way, these nuggets are devoid of flavor and are sad all-around.
  • Milkshakes- More watery than the average milkshake and they always put on too much whipped cream.
  • All of their coffee items- No idea what it is, but I've had acid reflux every single time I order their coffee. It's uncanny, but whatever.
F tier-
  • Double Quarter Pounder- Hello, cholesterol city. Fancy meeting you here.
  • Single Hamburger- Saddest, thinnest burger in human history. Good job, McD's.
  • Filet o' Fish- This is Satan spawn. For the love of all that is holy, never order this. It's disgusting. Everything in it tastes fake and gross. Spare yourselves. I would put it in an extra special G tier, but the Filet o' Fish commercial with the plastic singing fish is an underrated meme that brings it up from being the worst thing in existence. But seriously...just no. This is the only item on this tier list that's ordered...it's last place.
I'd place McDonald's in D tier overall, if we look at menu only. There are some good items there, but overall...it leaves much to be desired.
 

Chucklehead Tom

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Okay, dial it back Arin Hanson.



Call me when you have a real burger.
I'm not gonna argue because Five Guys is ****in great but does it really qualify as fast food? Fast casual maybe, but not fast food.
In the context of fast food Wendy's stands out, but it's obviously gonna fall short when compared to places outside of that area.
 
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Potato_

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Okay, dial it back Arin Hanson.



Call me when you have a real burger.
Five Guys is amazing (one of the few places that actually lives up to the hype around it), but it's also priced out of the typical fast food joints. Also I dunno if it's just where I live but there's like 2 Five Guys locations compared to the bevy of Wendy's you can find.

Wendy's wins on price and convenience IMO.
 

staindgrey

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I've never had a Five Guys before.

I have a Five Guys right next to where I work but I've never really had the opportunity or time to want to go there.
In my senior year at college I had to walk past Five Guys to get to and from class every day.

...I ate there a lot.

I'm not gonna argue because Five Guys is ****in great but does it really qualify as fast food? Fast casual maybe, but not fast food.
In the context of fast food Wendy's stands out, but it's obviously gonna fall short when compared to places outside of that area.
Yeah, ok.

I’ve had Five Guys. For the price, it’s basically a hyped up Wendy’s.

Wendy’s gives you the better bang for your buck. You cannot beat the 4 for $4.
This is where we're at an impasse, because I'll hold fast food places to the same standards as "fast convenient". I ate fast food regularly as a kid and kind of burned out on it once I got older.

I need substance, no matter the price. With burgers especially. I'll go home and make the damn thing myself.
 

Will

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five guys does not look like fast food to me

its like this bootleg five guys called 3 guys thats like across the street from the actual 5 guys. yeah in like 10 minutes but not 30 seconds like you expect.
 

staindgrey

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Speaking of fast food.

I occasionally settle for Burger King at work because it's a short walk away and they have Surge. I went yesterday and saw that they sell tacos now. The ****.

Immediately, I thought, 'wow who the hell goes to Burger King and orders tacos?'

Then the guy behind me ordered five tacos and a water.

Like, he's not just trying a Burger King taco. That man has ordered a Burger King taco before. And he likes them so much that he came back into a ****ing Burger King to order five more of them for lunch.

I was so perplexed the whole time I ate my food.
 

Will

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In my senior year at college I had to walk past Five Guys to get to and from class every day.

...I ate there a lot.
Our campus resturaunts are like, Chick Fil A, Steak n Shake, and a Quiznos that shut down just this year. The other stuff is just local things.

They opened up an Einstein Bros but like i've never heard of a bagel restaurant in my life so i dont wanna risk it
 
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PeridotGX

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Speaking of fast food.

I occasionally settle for Burger King at work because it's a short walk away and they have Surge. I went yesterday and saw that they sell tacos now. The ****.

Immediately, I thought, 'wow who the hell goes to Burger King and orders tacos?'

Then the guy behind me ordered five tacos and a water.

Like, he's not just trying a Burger King taco. That man has ordered a Burger King taco before. And he likes them so much that he came back into a ****ing Burger King to order five more of them for lunch.

I was so perplexed the whole time I ate my food.
Why does Burger King keep adding this stuff to their menus? First hot dogs, now tacos? Who buys them?
 

staindgrey

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Our campus resturaunts are like, Chick Fil A, Steak n Shake, and a Quiznos that shut down just this year. The other stuff is just local things.

They opened up an Einstein Bros but like i've never heard of a bagel restaurant in my life so i dont wanna risk it
On High St. within walking distance of campus when I went to tOSU, we haaaaaad...

Five Guys, Penn Station, Chipotle, Taco Hut (that's a Taco Bell/Pizza Hut combo), McDonald's, Wendy's, Danato's, Subway, another Subway, FlyPi, PJ's, Raising Cane's, Panda Express, Rally's and this bomb sushi place called Bento-Go-Go.

I did not learn to cook until I moved away from Columbus.
 

staindgrey

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My favorite fast food restaurant in-character: Yes

My favorite fast food restaurant out-of-character: Eh.... I guess Chick-Fil-A? But I hardly go there since it's relatively far away

:yoshi:
Chick-fil-A's delicious but I have qualms with the people who own it.

So Popeyes all the way.
 
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