Proverbs
Smash Lord
Link to original post: [drupal=833]Uhhh...a title for something I'm already not sure of? That's just unfair![/drupal]
I wrote this on a digital writing portfolio I uploaded and wanted to put this as a blog entry:
Okayyyy...so here's the situation: It's 8:30 PM the day before I need to turn in a 10 page paper and I haven't started. Up until this point since like two years ago I've been seriously emotionally blocked especially in the area of girls. I haven't really liked a girl in two or three years now.
But I met a girl who I'm...kind of sort of intrigued by. Okay I'm really underplaying it. I...l-l-like...not talking about it. Yup, that's exactly what I was going to say. Nothing fishy here.
All right I just need to be honest with myself: There is a possibility, maybe even a good chance that I llllllike this girl. I don't know quite yet. My emotions are in a crazy state. But I think I like her.
I thought I liked her a while back, but I backed off because I thought she was way out of my league ._. And I'm a person who hates people thinking like that--but she totally was out of my league.
She was and is the most humble, nice, encouraging, warm, and spiritual person I've ever met in my entire life.
I'll be honest, at first I wasn't really attracted to her physically. That was the one thing that didn't attract me. That and I didn't know if things would really work out.
But people would say, "Oh her, she's gorgeous." At least other girls would. But I'd look at her and think "Well...she's not ugly by any means...but gorgeous?"
My mind is starting to be changed recently. I'm finally acknowledging she's definitely pretty...really pretty, in fact. [I almost continued with "I might even say beautiful" but I can't go that far yet. Not that she's not, it's just I can't let myself get that emotionally involved ><;; Fear is stupid]
And I don't know exactly if I like this girl. I don't know. My heart's not fully decided. It's been so long since I've really let a girl into it...
...but I can definitely say one thing: If I could pick who I'd want to like, it would be her. There is no other young woman I've seen so kindhearted and so fully devoted to God.
I don't think she's reading this, fortunately. I never told her about my portfolio. I might tell her about it so she can read some of my writing, but that might be a bad idea.
Anyway, I need to write that essay, but I needed to write this out.
I'm still really unsure of all of this, but I put it in God's hands. That's something I gotta do.
Redmage
~~//~~
P.S. One thing in this entry I did say in a way that would make someone think it's not the girl I'm actually referring to. I did this so that if she did happen to read this (or someone else who knows her), they'd be at least a little thrown off. Hopefully it works. But I wanted to add this at the end here because if she does read this and think "Oh...that can't be me" there is this saving grace here that allows for her to keep her hopes up...that is, if I dared to hope that she had any hope in this matter.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me--not yet anyway. If I do decide I like her, that won't stay yet (save for God's interference).
I couldn't pass up a girl like this. You only meet one of these in a lifetime, and I intend to do all I can for this one. She truly is...I want to say " a hidden gem," but that doesn't nearly fit what I want to say. I sat for a while looking up synonyms and definitions to find exactly what I wanted to say. But nonetheless what I was saying is that she is a precious find, one of a kind, and, among lesser precious stones she shines like a warm red ruby or a glistening emerald.
I may be a writer, but I cannot describe what she is in comparison to other girls. She truly leaves me at a loss for words.
But what am I saying? I'm not even sure if I like her. And yes, I do keep myself in this state of self-deception ALL the time.
Edit: In my defense the gaps between paragraphs doesn't look NEARLY as bad on that other site. And the text is squished more together. So it doesn't look like one-line paragraphs there. <.<;;
I wrote this on a digital writing portfolio I uploaded and wanted to put this as a blog entry:
Okayyyy...so here's the situation: It's 8:30 PM the day before I need to turn in a 10 page paper and I haven't started. Up until this point since like two years ago I've been seriously emotionally blocked especially in the area of girls. I haven't really liked a girl in two or three years now.
But I met a girl who I'm...kind of sort of intrigued by. Okay I'm really underplaying it. I...l-l-like...not talking about it. Yup, that's exactly what I was going to say. Nothing fishy here.
All right I just need to be honest with myself: There is a possibility, maybe even a good chance that I llllllike this girl. I don't know quite yet. My emotions are in a crazy state. But I think I like her.
I thought I liked her a while back, but I backed off because I thought she was way out of my league ._. And I'm a person who hates people thinking like that--but she totally was out of my league.
She was and is the most humble, nice, encouraging, warm, and spiritual person I've ever met in my entire life.
I'll be honest, at first I wasn't really attracted to her physically. That was the one thing that didn't attract me. That and I didn't know if things would really work out.
But people would say, "Oh her, she's gorgeous." At least other girls would. But I'd look at her and think "Well...she's not ugly by any means...but gorgeous?"
My mind is starting to be changed recently. I'm finally acknowledging she's definitely pretty...really pretty, in fact. [I almost continued with "I might even say beautiful" but I can't go that far yet. Not that she's not, it's just I can't let myself get that emotionally involved ><;; Fear is stupid]
And I don't know exactly if I like this girl. I don't know. My heart's not fully decided. It's been so long since I've really let a girl into it...
...but I can definitely say one thing: If I could pick who I'd want to like, it would be her. There is no other young woman I've seen so kindhearted and so fully devoted to God.
I don't think she's reading this, fortunately. I never told her about my portfolio. I might tell her about it so she can read some of my writing, but that might be a bad idea.
Anyway, I need to write that essay, but I needed to write this out.
I'm still really unsure of all of this, but I put it in God's hands. That's something I gotta do.
Redmage
~~//~~
P.S. One thing in this entry I did say in a way that would make someone think it's not the girl I'm actually referring to. I did this so that if she did happen to read this (or someone else who knows her), they'd be at least a little thrown off. Hopefully it works. But I wanted to add this at the end here because if she does read this and think "Oh...that can't be me" there is this saving grace here that allows for her to keep her hopes up...that is, if I dared to hope that she had any hope in this matter.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me--not yet anyway. If I do decide I like her, that won't stay yet (save for God's interference).
I couldn't pass up a girl like this. You only meet one of these in a lifetime, and I intend to do all I can for this one. She truly is...I want to say " a hidden gem," but that doesn't nearly fit what I want to say. I sat for a while looking up synonyms and definitions to find exactly what I wanted to say. But nonetheless what I was saying is that she is a precious find, one of a kind, and, among lesser precious stones she shines like a warm red ruby or a glistening emerald.
I may be a writer, but I cannot describe what she is in comparison to other girls. She truly leaves me at a loss for words.
But what am I saying? I'm not even sure if I like her. And yes, I do keep myself in this state of self-deception ALL the time.
Edit: In my defense the gaps between paragraphs doesn't look NEARLY as bad on that other site. And the text is squished more together. So it doesn't look like one-line paragraphs there. <.<;;
