Okay, realtalk.
I think I have a serious issue.
To wit: I am wont to ensure everybody likes me.
That's a pretty reasonable sentiment, yeah? It's nice to feel beloved. Yet I have a tendency to get into periods of melancholy, if not outright pathetic fallacy, when I feel that people dislike me or find my presence to be a nuisance.
I don't know, maybe it's something about having no friends when I was little or never quite fitting in with others until my adult years, maybe it's because I have many wonderful friends now who constantly tell me they love me and that I matter to them, but sometimes I just feel utterly crushed and ineffably stupid when I feel I have committed a social faux pas.
Then again, even as I type this, I feel kinda fuzzy. Y'know when you're conscious of what you're doing on a superficial level, but you know in the back of your mind that you're just working on autopilot and you will forget everything you said the moment the moment has passed? I feel like that. I guess I'm just drunk on heavy metal and sad music, but sitting here with Blue Stahli playing at intense volumes in my ears, staring at the ceiling, reflecting and pondering on my existence, I feel that I need to say something.
/realtalk