This Is Not A Poem

[SynikaL]

This is Not A Poem​

I trampled a bed of blood colored roses/
Grown with aromas, solely for the purpose to indulge your noses/
Embellished with hellish cone-shaped thorn crowns to prick your proses/
A destroyed cluster of allegory, retains its alimony/
However rugged, because I loved every moment of the destruction/
But/
Lingers a pitfall in my gut/
I embrace a plummet, from your grassy meadowed summit/
And celebrate at its base, by lighting a cigarette from it (yuck)/
I erect a reverence of my success/
In solitude I galas, with not a clue, that/
Alas/
A tortured skeletal corpse, with decor of charcoal emerges from the grass/
With offers to this poor soul respites from normalcy/
Yet I flee/
I flee past the humming sound of buzzing bees/
And hippies hugging trees, till death cornered me at a river of broken dreams/
Bet my life on the stream, but drowned in a sea of residuals, deposited by a countless digit of individuals/
Even lost in a lake of assimilate, syndicate misfits/
I endeavor to never (ever) sever my symmetry/
Even if vivid depictions of imagery, never paint me a victory/
Convention is the catalyst/
Magnificent battle of wits, everlasting/
My bracket is fashioned beyond the enclosures of the polars of your magnets/
Which is fascinating/

. . . . .

This is a lyric I wrote as an assignment for my Creative Writing class a few months ago. While I don't like the lyric too much anymore today, I consider this work to be a pivot point in my development as a writer/person, as this assignment marked the first time I had actually read anything I had written to anyone outside one or two close friends.

The experience is still fresh in my memory, and while my recollection of the episode is mostly dominated by the air of nervousness that surrounded me during my reading of the lyric (resulting in some unattractive stumbling), the collective praise exhibited by my fellow classmates at the conclusion of its reading is quite obviously the portion I'm most fond of. The reading of the final line was glorious; like a culminating apex that siphoned the oxygen out of the entire room as a result of the collective gasps of twenty six individuals (okay, it wasn't that glorious).

I think it's the cadence that got 'em.


-Kimosabae

 

[demoncaterpie]

You should title this "A lyric I made for Creative Writing" or something a lot more clever. You never want to name something "This is not a poem". While it is clever for your lyric, you should still name it something else.

 

[SynikaL]

No thanks. I like the title. If you can discern the message I tried convey with the lyric, it makes sense and epitomizes what the lyric is actually about.


-Kimosabae

 

[demoncaterpie]

Yeah, after reading it over a couple of times, I have to agree with you. It's just weird seeing a thread called "This Is Not A Poem". It almost looks like spam. I hope you understand what I mean.

As for the lyric itself, it is truly remarkable. Your lines are so original and so vibrant with detail that I feel it would take me several re-readings before I truly got it. I can see why this is such a piviotal point in your artistry, because it's just so darn good .

There have been a lot of poems posted here recently, but none of them can even match with yours. I suggest that everyone read this poem. This is what true writing is all about.

 

[SynikaL]

Ha ha, thanks a lot, I appreciate the kind words. I'll have more later tonight when I get off work.


-Kimosabae

 

[Scav]

In regards to the title, I just thought I'd point out that "This is not a ____" is an overused phrase. It's almost always used as an homage to Magritte, which is ironic considering the work referenced was not actually titled "This is not a pipe" but "the betrayal of images." And he even considered that a mistranslation.

So yes, titling something "this is not a ____" is very gimmicky, but it's a gimmick every young artist goes through once they discover surrealism.

 

[SynikaL]

Valid point, but being as I'm not very cultured in literature, I've never heard of Magritte or any resulting cliche's inspired by him. I stand by my title.


-Kimosabae

 

[Akebo]

*hugs* This was so...so angsty. I love it! While it could pass off as a poem, I can also see it as a song. it was very well done and very thought-out. I am just wondering what the beat of the song was.

 

[SynikaL]

No beat. I find it hard to write when any song is stuck in my head, because beats speak to me and cage my writing as a result.


I also find it hard write my lyrics on the lines of a page (I write off symmetry). That also seems to cage my thinking.

I know, it's queer.

-Kimosabae

 

[Akebo]

No, you just have a creative way of rapping. Believe me, I get my best writing results when I write upside-down. Everyone has their queer moments, it's okay. Besides, we are all artists here. We are all weird.

 

[demoncaterpie]

No, you just have a creative way of rapping. Believe me, I get my best writing results when I write upside-down. Everyone has their queer moments, it's okay. Besides, we are all artists here. We are all weird.

It's part of the process. You can't be a genius without being weird

 

[Akebo]

Ha! Ain't that the truth. It might explain me...