This game causes me self loathing and genuine anger and sadness. Not april fools.

[Forgeblazer]

I dont know where to start. This game is one im passionate about, and ive played smash games all my life. I can usually go online, qnd try to play any character, and if im more than a stock down i usually sd and end the game. I only ever play one game a day max, because i play one, quit one, and them emotionally break down. I tell myself this and that about how i suck, ill never improve, im worthless, a waste of potential. And no matter how hard i try to keep a positive mentality, game after game after game a bit more and more leaks into my mentality. And then i snap. I usually throw my controller, and then, depending on how humiliating, start legitimately crying and hitting myself because i think of all of the things in my head. Ive asked forums so many times for help, and no matter how much good advice i get i cant seem to apply it, and no matter how many videos i watch on how to improve or improve my mentality, i wind up snapping by next session. It all happens in a loop really. Get motivated, play game, quit. Get motivated, play game, quit. Get motivated, play game, quit. Its practically a living hell. It ends up as a never ending cycle that i just. Cant. BREAK. I need to change this, as much as i want to play this game it drives me mentally insane. Literally. And no, this isnt for april fools. This is 100% serious and true.

 

[Johhny_C_Bad]

Getting some therapy would be a good start. I just recently started going myself and have been finding myself loving the game more as opposed to when I'd do the same as you: play one game, rage quit and it would ruin my night. Now it's getting a bit better and my mental health has made the game (and my life) a lot better.

 

[Sean²]

I looked through your other threads, and I don't think there can be any more advice given to you that hasn't already been said.

So, I think you need to stop playing entirely until you get your head right. Take a long time off, more than a few weeks if that's what it takes.

Ranting on Smashboards is not a valid replacement for a therapy session. I don't necessarily mean with a doctor, unless that's what you want. Do some things that relax you. Get some sunshine, some fresh air, good social interaction. Do nothing smash related. Then maybe once you feel comfortable, ease yourself back in. Play some local matches first - preferably with friends - maybe do some single player modes. See how that gets you. Then give online a shot again. Don't dive head first into quickplay, either. Do some arena matches, where there are no imaginary points to count.

What we can help you with, is getting better at the game. So when you do come back, have some gameplay videos ready of matches that caused you trouble and post them for constructive critique. Then maybe you can work on whatever is causing you frustration inside the game.

And also keep in mind, Smash is still just a videogame. It's meant for recreation. If you're not enjoying it, you shouldn't be playing.

 

[Crystanium]

One game a day won't help you accomplish anything. Imagine if you tried anything that required time and effort and only did it once a day. It saddens me when I read a post like yours because you reinforce negative thoughts by quitting, or thinking you're bad or you'll never succeed. The reality is that success is abstract. You define what is success and failure, not anyone else. Did you lose a match? Perhaps for you, success could be learning from your mistakes. It's not that you're a bad player. You just need to put in more time and effort. It's not that you suck at this game. Rather, you're not where you'd like to be.

Failure, however you define it, will happen. There's no way around it, but there is a way to reduce it, and that's by coming up with strategies and solutions. The more you do something - as long as you learn - the better you'll become. For now, I'd recommend seeking mental help. There's nothing wrong with seeking help. Never feel ashamed about it. I've personally received help for my mental health a few years ago, and I feel better for it. I hope you will do better in both your mental health and in Smash.

 

[Deleted member]

Stop playing

 

[Qualudes]

Don't play fighters online... You take every loss too personally and do not look at them as an opportunity to improve. Just beat-up computers instead of getting frustrated.

 

[Yung Nikey]

This is a personal problem, drop the game and seek professional help

 

[Deleted member]

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[MalanoMan]

When I was a wee lad I have to admit that I got super angry at COD4 and acted pretty much the same way you did. I was always too concerned about my K/D ratio because that was the statistic that I and all my friends felt that determined how good a player was. I still remember my final overall K/D before the game faded out of relevance: 1.61. Compared to my friends, I had the 3rd highest K/D. I wasn't bad at the game! I still got angry, threw controllers, and rage quit night after night.

Today, I play COD4 remastered. Today, I dont care about my K/D. I just play the game for the simplicity of playing and having fun. There is no K/D competition between me and my friends and I am definitely a lot worse than I used to be. I am much happier playing the game though because I removed so much importance in winning and playing well.

The will to win is a very strong force, which can be constructive or destructive. It sounds like your will to win is very strong indeed, and you need to control it. When you have a strong will to win, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to play well. This means, when you lose, that pressure feels so much worse on your psyche. That's why you are having those negative thoughts, and getting caught in that cycle.

My suggestion is that you put less of an emphasis on winning, and more of an emphasis on "self improvement". First of all, you need to take on a humble mentality. Drop the expectation that you are going to win. Tell yourself that you are a "work in progress". Accept your mistakes. Accept the losses. Learn from them. Most importantly, put in practice. People who get good at this game spend a lot of time playing it. That wont happen if you quit after 1 game!

I wish you the best of luck man. Feel free to message me if you need any advice about mental health in relation to this game! I highly recommend that you and everyone else read a book called "The Inner Game of Tennis" to improve your mental skills!

And feel free to join my discord server in my sig! We would be more than happy to help you improve.

 

[Qualudes]

My suggestion is that you put less of an emphasis on winning, and more of an emphasis on "self improvement". First of all, you need to take on a humble mentality. Drop the expectation that you are going to win. Tell yourself that you are a "work in progress". Accept your mistakes. Accept the losses. Learn from them. Most importantly, put in practice. People who get good at this game spend a lot of time playing it. That wont happen if you quit after 1 game!

I guarantee that this is the OP's problem MalanoMan . Breaking down objectives in a match beyond "I want to win" into smaller, more digestable goals is the key to getting 'gud.' When you enter a match think about what you want to do on a micro-level instead of a macro-level. I still think F Forgeblazer should not be playing competitive games based on the litany of negative posts they've thrown up on smashboards, but the mentality MalanoMan discussed in the quoted text is exactly what a competitively-minded individual needs to aspire towards.

 

[JiggyNinja]

Why do people post these self-loathing topics? Attention? Validation from strangers? Every single time I read one the only thing I want to say is "Grow the **** up and get over it." I've gotten salty, but I've never felt the urge to throw my controller (especially now that I'm the one that paid for them) or beat myself up as a worthless failure.

If you attach so much of your self-worth to your skill at a video game, that's a problem. I don't think even pros get that worked up over bad performance, and they have careers to consider.

If you want the simplest thing, if you lose to someone (assuming it wasn't because of something lame like abusing items or stage hazards), play them again. Play them as many times as they're willing to rematch. Sure it'll tank your GSP if you keep losing but why does that matter? Because it means I suck at the game? I already know I suck! Enjoy the struggle! It's a fighting game, it's supposed to be hard and fast and tense and exciting and frustrating. It makes it that much more awesome when you finally start to read them and can avoid your own bad habits. It's even better when you start to recognize their bad habits and you succeed in baiting them out.

 

[Diddy Kong]

Play a top tier, and cheese on your opponents. That helps am sure.

 

[HotelSoapy!]

How can you play once a day and get mad because you don't improve? You know if one game a day can cause you to break a controller then maybe it's best to stop playing.

 

[Sean²]

Play a top tier, and cheese on your opponents. That helps am sure.

When I used to get frustrated at Smash 4, I'd always just play a few games as Kirby. You can't get mad playing Kirby, even if you lose. He's Kirby.

 

[MalanoMan]

Why do people post these self-loathing topics? Attention? Validation from strangers? Every single time I read one the only thing I want to say is "Grow the **** up and get over it." I've gotten salty, but I've never felt the urge to throw my controller (especially now that I'm the one that paid for them) or beat myself up as a worthless failure.

If you attach so much of your self-worth to your skill at a video game, that's a problem. I don't think even pros get that worked up over bad performance, and they have careers to consider.

If you want the simplest thing, if you lose to someone (assuming it wasn't because of something lame like abusing items or stage hazards), play them again. Play them as many times as they're willing to rematch. Sure it'll tank your GSP if you keep losing but why does that matter? Because it means I suck at the game? I already know I suck! Enjoy the struggle! It's a fighting game, it's supposed to be hard and fast and tense and exciting and frustrating. It makes it that much more awesome when you finally start to read them and can avoid your own bad habits. It's even better when you start to recognize their bad habits and you succeed in baiting them out.

People that make these types of posts are asking for help! It may sound whiny and it may be self-loathing, but they are searching for help and an answer from someone with more experience (us). Some people don't have the right outlets to talk about how smash can be frustrating or about how they feel. This is a great forum to vent some of that frustration out!

I understand that these posts could be perceived as annoying, but in my opinion, they are important because they become positive discussions that give answers and help other people who feel the same way as OP.

 

[Sean²]

People that make these types of posts are asking for help! It may sound whiny and it may be self-loathing, but they are searching for help and an answer from someone with more experience (us). Some people don't have the right outlets to talk about how smash can be frustrating or about how they feel. This is a great forum to vent some of that frustration out!

I understand that these posts could be perceived as annoying, but in my opinion, they are important because they become positive discussions that give answers and help other people who feel the same way as OP.

A lot of these kinds of posts are simply for venting frustration, which I can understand doing so if you have no one in person to talk to. But OP has posted the same thread 4 times now over the span of a month. Each time, he's been given the same advice. He's clearly not taking it, or not handling it well. Hence why I feel as if he should give up the game at this point, at least temporarily. You either pull up your big boy pants and deal with it using any resource you can, or decide it's no longer worth putting time into and quit. I sincerely hope the former takes place in this case.

 

[JiggyNinja]

People that make these types of posts are asking for help! It may sound whiny and it may be self-loathing, but they are searching for help and an answer from someone with more experience (us). Some people don't have the right outlets to talk about how smash can be frustrating or about how they feel. This is a great forum to vent some of that frustration out!

I understand that these posts could be perceived as annoying, but in my opinion, they are important because they become positive discussions that give answers and help other people who feel the same way as OP.

There's a huge difference between asking for criticism and whining about how much you suck and will always be a failure. One is a person on the path of self improvement, the other is someone with serious issues that needs professional mental help. I don't care how popular it is or how much someone likes it, anyone that derives their existential self-worth from a game of any kind (not just video games!) has a major problem with themselves, not their game skills.

That's why I hate seeing these topics. The true underlying problem is not something that anyone here is qualified to address in this setting. Literally the only advice that can be given is GET HELP NOW.

 

[Forgeblazer]

Just to clear things up, i definately make these posts to get help. I genuinely want to become good at this game, but its a rediculous mental struggle, and im very easy to get tilted, the most out of all my friends, and all my family by far. Its an i side joke between my friends at this point that i get mad at little things, and as much of a meme as it is in my personal life, i really want that gone. Despite making these posts often, every little response gives me a little more hope, and even while i still get mad, i can say that i dont get AS mad now, thought i still easily get tilted. Despite some of the semi-negative feedback (or it just could be somewhat straightforward criticism, i cant tell really), thanks guys.

 

[JiggyNinja]

Just to clear things up, i definately make these posts to get help. I genuinely want to become good at this game, but its a rediculous mental struggle, and im very easy to get tilted, the most out of all my friends, and all my family by far. Its an i side joke between my friends at this point that i get mad at little things, and as much of a meme as it is in my personal life, i really want that gone. Despite making these posts often, every little response gives me a little more hope, and even while i still get mad, i can say that i dont get AS mad now, thought i still easily get tilted. Despite some of the semi-negative feedback (or it just could be somewhat straightforward criticism, i cant tell really), thanks guys.

I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just saying that this is a much deeper problem than your Smash skills. What you're describing is far beyond "getting tilted" and is not normal. We're not qualified to address your emotional issues that might need professional counseling or possibly even medication.

 

[MalanoMan]

A lot of these kinds of posts are simply for venting frustration, which I can understand doing so if you have no one in person to talk to. But OP has posted the same thread 4 times now over the span of a month. Each time, he's been given the same advice. He's clearly not taking it, or not handling it well. Hence why I feel as if he should give up the game at this point, at least temporarily. You either pull up your big boy pants and deal with it using any resource you can, or decide it's no longer worth putting time into and quit. I sincerely hope the former takes place in this case.

Ok I do see that now. It seems to me like each post gets buried before Forgeblazer gets the answer they're looking for. I do agree that this is excessive, but regardless, you're not being forced to read the post or respond. Just ignore it if you don't want to give these types of posts attention. You don't have to try to help anyone. That's why this is a community, because there will be others here to help a person out when they need it.

Forgeblazer just said above that their anger has become a meme among their friends, which means he cant really talk to them about it in a serious tone. I would imagine its kind of hard to talk to your parents about this type of thing too.

I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just saying that this is a much deeper problem than your Smash skills. What you're describing is far beyond "getting tilted" and is not normal. We're not qualified to address your emotional issues that might need professional counseling or possibly even medication.

We have to consider that getting counseling is expensive. Some people legitimately cannot afford it. Even if you have health insurance it can be expensive. That's more of a United States issue. (Side Note: Vote Bernie 2020, health insurance will become A LOT LESS EXPENSIVE.) If this kid lives outside of the US, counseling may be more affordable.

 

[Deleted member]

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[Boredatwork]

I'd lay off competitive multiplayer games, to be entirely fair with you.

If you were playing something that was single player, then you'd have a static experience on which you can assign smaller goals so that you can see and follow your own improvement. Playing against other players is too much of an uncertain experience, and the more you wait, the more the userbase will be experienced, and the more it will be probable that you lose badly, and therefore feel bad about yourself.

 

[MalanoMan]

I'm actually surprised to hear about that: in Canada you aren't charged for counselling. Do schools provide free couselling to students at least?

In the US, private counseling can be over $100 per session... But you're right! Canada is awesome! In my last sentence there I say "If this kid lives outside of the US, counseling may be more affordable", and you just gave a perfect example of that.

In schools, they have school counselors, which are meant for academic counseling. Actually now that I think about it, my school had a counselor specialized in mental health as well. I think OP should look into that. Sometimes those counselors are really more focused on the real "problem" students though. Definitely still worth looking into.

 

[Deleted member]

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[Pikopiko]

I dont know where to start. This game is one im passionate about, and ive played smash games all my life. I can usually go online, qnd try to play any character, and if im more than a stock down i usually sd and end the game. I only ever play one game a day max, because i play one, quit one, and them emotionally break down. I tell myself this and that about how i suck, ill never improve, im worthless, a waste of potential. And no matter how hard i try to keep a positive mentality, game after game after game a bit more and more leaks into my mentality. And then i snap. I usually throw my controller, and then, depending on how humiliating, start legitimately crying and hitting myself because i think of all of the things in my head. Ive asked forums so many times for help, and no matter how much good advice i get i cant seem to apply it, and no matter how many videos i watch on how to improve or improve my mentality, i wind up snapping by next session. It all happens in a loop really. Get motivated, play game, quit. Get motivated, play game, quit. Get motivated, play game, quit. Its practically a living hell. It ends up as a never ending cycle that i just. Cant. BREAK. I need to change this, as much as i want to play this game it drives me mentally insane. Literally. And no, this isnt for april fools. This is 100% serious and true.

As someone who is also terrible thought I'd chime in. I also want to improve and when I don't seem to be making any progress I get really frustrated.

I think part of the problem for us is that we go to YouTube for pointers and inspiration and they make playing look so easy. But you have to keep in mind that these are players who have spent hundreds of hours getting better. So I try to watch instruction videos and take what they say into the training room and try to make my fundamentals better. But I feel that way sometimes, incredible frustration when what I'm doing in the training room doesn't translate into actual matches.

But even with this frustration I find myself coming back to the game again and again. So I must be having a bit of fun with it.

So these are just my thoughts and just hope you can find a way to still have a little fun with the game and if your frustration gets beyond a certain point, as stated above it might not be a bad idea to chat with someone who can give you a professional perspective. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Good luck!

 

[MalanoMan]

I wasn't asking to brag about where I live lol. Mental health support has always been a pretty big thing where I live though: my school always talks about it at it's presentations (we've had a lot of guest speakers come over this year too). I didn't think about how that would be different in the US, or anywhere really. That was silly of me, I guess

No I wasn't trying to imply you were bragging! I was being genuine. I think Canada is awesome.

I have no idea how much effort American Schools are putting into mental health nowadays. I would hope and imagine its more prevalent than it was a few years ago, when I was there.

 

[MG_3989]

Please take an inventory of your life because this isn't about smash. Feel free to message me if you need to talk to somebody, I've been through similar situations