Things You Will NEVER Hear Sakurai Say.

[Hallowed Storm]

Sakurai: "I've decided to abandon the Super Smash Brothers franchise. Brawl will no longer be released.
Instead, I've changed the series to "Super Emo Brothers". You can choose between Gustav and Garrick, and see who can slit their wrist until their hand falls off faster! Then, using the Wii Remote's wireless capabilities, you will sew the hand back onto the bleeding stub. The faster one does it, the more the Rock Meter goes up, and you'll achieve STAR POWER!!"

Actually, I take that back.

He might do that.

 

[Mutated Arm Dude]

-Newcomer: Megaman!
-Newcomer: Ridley!
-Newcomer: Geno!

You know it, guys.

Pretty much.

 

[Terywj [태리]]

-Let's make Peach and Zelda porn stars!!

-Why don't we all just forget about Brawl and look forward to other things? Like butterflies...

 

[Kirby King]

(Thread moved to Forum Games.)

 

[Snafu]

"Brawl will be order-by-post only and can be yours for only $79.99 + $4.95 Shipping and Handling. Order today to get a free CD: 'The Sounds Of Nintendo - What Miyamoto Doesn't Want You To Hear!"

"ZOMG!!!!11!! M3TA KN1GHT PWNZ ALL!!1!!1!11!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Well, I wasn't going to put them in, but since I read such a persuasive, well thought-out and eloquent arguement on the Smash World Forums today, Geno and Ridley are now in!"

"UPDATE: If you complete the SubSpace Emissary, then play 24 hours of multiplayer with evry character.... You unlock a NEW TITLE SCREEN!!"

"Microsoft have given us permission to use Rare characters!"

 

[Dragonbreath]

Novemeber 5th update: My hemorrhoids are being particularly ornery this month. I belive I may have to switch creams.

On a totally unrelated note, every copy of Brawl will come bundled with a tube of my previous hemmaroid cream. Collect them all!

 

[DonkeyPirate]

Warning: Challenger Approaching!

 

[Z. Hoot]

dude.
I'd totally main with Mr. Pirate Donkey.

 

[demoncaterpie]

-I've decided to get rid of all the music in this game and just have one song. There is no way any other song can come close to this, so why even try?

 

[tennisthehilife]

-I've decided to get rid of all the music in this game and just have one song. There is no way any other song can come close to this, so why even try?

One of my favorite songs, I agree with Sakurai.

Aw this got moved? I guess it belongs here, but not many people come here.

Sakurai:
"Good news and bad news. I'll have to start with the bad first to get it out of the way. Brawl has been delayed until now February 10th 2008. Phew, now that this is out of the way here is the good news. To make up for the delay I've included a free prostitute, on the house, inside of each Copy Brawl. As a result, the boxes will be bigger than usual to fit in those prostitutes keep them fed, air holes for breathing and such. Enjoy."

 

[Eor]

Edit: Second thought, go for it

 

[Dark_Ermac]

"Today, I was going to reveal a new character, but I decided to do something else. Enjoy this update."

(That's the update)

 

[pokeman800]

"I decided to make poop and pee new characters!"

"I have changed the title to super hash bros. bra! Where chopped up meat and women's underclothes fight!"

Heh heh heh...

 

[Platypus]

"We're not currently supporting rumors, but Smash is coming out on the DS. As an unlockable in Halo DS."

"The game will now only be playable with the Nunchuk. Get used to it."

"On a huge pile of money."

 

[handsockpuppet]

some of these are hilarious. i made the pirate-donkey my desktop background LOL.
"the problem is the characters in brawl come from lousy creators. Brawl will now only have Kirby, Metanight, and King DeDeDe in it."

WARNING, CHARACTER APPROACHING

 

[Flipinogamer]

"Super Smash Bros. Brawl is now also for X-Box 360 and PS3!"
yeah, right... =P

 

[someguy12]

New challanger approching: it's Bowser Jr! end of story

 

[handsockpuppet]

"I've decided to make Brawl look more classic and so I downgraded everything to the quality of graphics available in the original SSB."

 

[Ice man]

I'm bill gates in disguise.

 

[Dark_Ermac]

Chuck Norris is the final boss in the Subspace Emissary!

 

[handsockpuppet]

I've decided to bring Marth back except this time he's a girl.

 

[chaucha_link]

"New Challenger approaching, Santa Clause"

"Safety."

"You can only unlock new characters by diagnosing what Wario ate through his farts."

"We didn't add Sonic, that was a typo"

"All Guitar Hero characters are now playable as well as there songs"
^^^^^^^^^^
On a Related note,
"New controller type, white Les Paul"

"When the hell did I make this $%*7 up..."

"Chaucha_link quit making stupid things I wouldn't say."

 

[berserker515]

"i designed fox to be the worst character in the game this time. i hated getting pwned by the shine"

"wavedashing is back in but this time noob friendly. to wavedash press home+power."

"master chief and *place sony character here* are alternatives to the sandbag."

"wi-fi will remove friend codes and be a carbon copy of microsofts online"

"i decided that since i love my fans so much i'll make brawl free of charge for the first week of sales."

 

[Platypus]

"Get in line now, there are only enough copies as there are stores."

"We've decided to allow online tournaments, producing rankings of the best Brawlers on earth daily."

 

[xbrinkx]

-I am very happy to announce that we have replaced all of the characters in Brawl with COWS!

-l0l WaRiO has dis super 1337 N3w m0vE! Crapping! (Ok seriously that would be just terrible.)

-Due to aggrivating fans I've decided to crack under pressure and release Brawl right here, right now, completely unfinished! Enjoy the incomplete game! Oh and if you're wondering about the ending to Subspace Emissary, well... There is none! We were just playing a terrible prank on you!

-I've come to my senses and have now seen the error of my ways. Sony and Microsoft are just too strong and their graphics stomp anything we could ever do with anything else because graphics are all that matter. So I've decided to shut down all of the Wiis using the internet and completely pull the plug on Nintendo. I'm now going to start my new career as a part-time customer service person at Sony. I regret ever joining Nintendo, what with their 'great gameplay'!

That's about it outta me. All of that is against what I think. I think it's not all about graphics in the gaming world and more about the essential gameplay. I'm no big fan of Sony or Microsoft. What really bugs me is just the fans trashing Nintendo for our 'kiddie' games. Just because of wider audience doesn't mean it's a 'kiddie' game. And a cow character would just be a disgrace. I'm sure Masahiro Sakurai would agree that all those things are backwards of what he would say.

 

[Lexl5]

New Plastic Nipples For Cptn. Falcon!

 

[Qbuilderz]

"New challenger approaching: Homosexual Mario"

no, no, it is Homario, get it lol

sakurai - hmmm, i think i will say how many characters are in the game today

- muwahahaha! i have added in 6 more 3rd party characters!

- marth, gone, falco, gone, gandorf, gone, pichu.....keep....

 

[yggdrasil325]

-Newcomer : Pong.
Wait, would pong even be 3rd party?
-Super Smash Bros. Brawl will be rated AO for its life-like violence.
-The bosses will include, besides Petey Pihrana, Mr. Saturn, and Magikarp.

 

[Goopygoo]

-"I got a call from Miyamoto, and we decided to go see a movie! We saw Fred Claus. You should all go see it!"

 

[Sanity Questioned]

Ridley joins the brawl!

I'm keeping Pichu and taking out Mario.... Live with it!

 

[12soreloser]

"I've decided my games are too violent and a bad influence on children, so I'm canceling Brawl and recalling all of my games"

P.S. a related post is in the 2000 worst things that could happen on the Brawl release

 

[Deleted member]

-Warning! Challenger Approaching:

-Sorry, I've decided to replace all the characters with Master Chief, Bubsy, Barbie, Dorah, Superman, Pichu, and Geno

Yes, I said Geno. Deal with it.

-I've decided to bring Pichu back, except he's god tier. Enjoy

-I've decided to release Brawl next week. However, it's now and Xbox Live exclusive

-Warning! Challenger Approaching:

John Madden

 

[TMS]

You mustn't recover!

 

[Xanthyr]

"To make the game easier and much more fun to play for professionals and the smash virgins, you can no longer control your character, in fact, it is all on a preprogrammed chance system to see who would win. There is no gameplay, it is pretty much now a game of rock-paper-scissors which will now be known as: Fox, Fox, Fox. Also, due to the genisis of our new random chance system, we now had to increase the game price to $100.99 and can only be collected by hand from my personal estate.

All the characters have been released! and they are as follows:
Fox
Fox
Fox
Fox etc.

That's right people! All the characters are fox! What is that you say? I promised 50 characters? Don't worry, you have 50 shades of color for fox, so what is the difference!

Happy Foxing everyone!"

 

[someguy12]

Sorry double post

 

[someguy12]

Dojo Post the Day After Brawl's release:

Hello fans of my Amazing Series "Super Smash Bros."! Since Brawl Has finally come out, I will share with you my SUPER EVIL PLANS!! HA HA AH HA HA AHA HA!!

The disks you recived are not video games, they are activation disks! when you start "playing" them, they turn your Wiis into robots! they will destroy this puny planet, No one can save you! Miyamoto is dead, and your hero, Chuck Norris, Is BRAINWASHED and now is my servant! HA HA HA AH AHA!


Someguy12: that would be really weird if that actually happened.

 

[handsockpuppet]

due to budget problems, we are keeping the characters we have right now and making single button mode for the whole game! don't like it?

deal with it.

 

[Deleted member]

Have you met my new girlfriend, Xbox 360?

 

[METROID MAN]

I got lazy, so, i dot wanna update the site anymore. BTW, the game comes out today, but, its really broken. buh bye.

 

[Snake King 1]

-new comer tiger woods
- this is the last time kirby wil appear on a video game
-another thing, I have to go to jail for the rest of my life because I stole the idea of kiby and SSB from an employee and I killed him
-Brawl will be rated M for blood, gore, intense violence, intense launguage, and suggestive scenes. Oh, and it will be on the ps3 and 360 only.
-new comer: garfield
-new stage: stylus pen from ds lite
Tortomire from Animal crossing will be a playable character in brawl, and will be top tier