Wow. The amount of Sakurai fanbutts is staggering, even more so than in those thousands of "Don't be mad at Sakurai just because he has no idea what he's doing" threads. There are like, two people here who get it, the rest are acting as if this WAS the "We Hate the 'We Hate Sakurai' Club" Club.
This thread is for venting on Sakurai and all the things he's done wrong. Really, it's not even supposed to be read, simply posted in. If Sakurai's gotten his claws to deeply into your logic-centers that you can't see the truth, just get out. Ignore the thread.Thesheeple repeatedly posting that we have no lives for noticing the OBVIOUS things Sakurai has done wrong are far more pitiful than the people pointing out said things.
Really, YOU are 1/4 the reason I hate Sakurai.
First note, I AM a fan of the Kirby series. I played him in the original for that sole reason, and would still be playing him in Melee if he didn't suck. I also absolutely ADORE Meteos, it can gorge itself on my time. Sakurai IS good at coming up with fun, original games.
However, that ability does not help, and in fact HINDERS, in making a game like Smash.
Second, I am a HUEG fan of Smash. It's dαmn fun, and a great concept (however unfulfilled it may be). But, unlike you people, this love makes me see all the flaws in it, rather than ignore them. Is Smash that I like, not Sakurai, and I have the clarity to realize Sakurai is the one standing between Brawl and The Perfect Smash.
Third, I'm not truly bitter about the delays. It's Nintendo, I actually expected it. Nor is it the UNDENIABLY bad updates in November and December. I only use them as a way to insult Sakurai.
What I'm mad about is the way Sakurai completely ignores his stated purpose. Smash is supposed to be "Nintendo Allstars." No, this isn't a 3rd party rant. I'm not complaining that Sonic isn't a Nintendo Allstar, I'm complaining that Mario, as presented in Smash, is not a Nintendo Allstar. Snake didn't ruin Smash, Sakurai did.
I liken Sakurai to Walt Disney. He takes source material and labels it as still being that source material, the totally ***** it, sequentially, in every orifice possible, and several impossible. He adds unnecessary characters, traits, and ridiculous material.
The difference is that people don't go see Disney movies because they remember loving that story as a kid 200 years ago and would like to see it adapted into a movie. Hell, those stories would probably scar a modern audience. No one cares if it's not faithful to the real version, and so it's not marketed as such. There's a reason they're called "Disney Classics" and not "Old-Dead-Writers-No-One-Remembers-Classics."
But Pokémon isn't a "Sakurai Classic," it's a "Tajiri Classic." Smash IS marketed as being faithful to the games, and people (at least, I did) originally bought for that reason. I enjoyed the gameplay, but it epicly failed in the faithfulness. It's supposed to finally answer the question of "who would win in a fight, Donkey Kong or Samus," but that answer becomes moot when the "Donkey Kong" and "Samus" fighting are not the ones you imagined.
I understand that some characters don't have much to draw from, and he has to preserve balance and difference between the characters, but Sakurai has a ridiculous tendency to omit possible original (in both paradoxical senses of the word) moves in exchange for abilities he thinks "might be cool if they could do."
This doesn't just go for characters, but stages, too. And Pokéball Pokémon to a vast extent. Not so much ATs, as far as we've seen. Very much SSE, as far as we've seen.
Don't forget items. "Oh, I know! We should have an item that [property]. Hmm.. Let's take [item] from [game] and say it has [property]." Or, "Oh, I know! We need an item that [property]. Hmm... Let's make up a new item with [property] and ignore [item] from [game] that already has [property]." It's a simple Sakurai formula, you fill in the blanks.
I "could" write a Vaarsuvian rant about the inexplicable inconsistencies in Smash. "Could" is used loosely here, as it would take me my entire 3-day weekend to type up an incomplete list, and that's without interpretive commentary.
I also have a problem with people bashing the concept of Melee: Online. In 2 years, no one will care about SSE. No one will spend hours browsing their stickers. No one will be focussed on beat their highscore in Coin Launcher. Everyone will be playing multiplayer. And not the useless Bonus or Coin (which, might I add, Sakurai felt the need to buff), but Stock and, situationally, Time. JayceMJ may have been sarcastic when he said Brawl should have only 2 modes, Options and Versus, but he hit the nail on the head. It's all we do in Melee, it's all we'll do in Brawl. Why else do the forums flare with excitement whenever a new character is announced, or even vaguely non-hinted at?
Why, then, does multiplayer get the shaft? I laud Sakurai's addition of co-op, but I'll only be using that until I beat it, as opposed to the infinite replayability of regular matches. Sakurai may have shown improvement in regards to more options with the addition of Melee's stage-select, custom controls, combinitory modes, My Music, and widescreen support, but he still has a ways to go. How about stage hazard control, or applying powerups to individual players, or having degrees of the powerups, or gradiations for other types of customization, or giving different players different stock amounts (you know, a handicap that actually serves a purpose other than making you chronically fragile?). Though that's asking to much of him. This stuff can only be done in 1P mode. Doing it in Versus would require hacking the game. We should be happy he gives up Versus at all.
I hate this fact, but they haven't really thought of everything.
What's more annoying is the fact that while they could have used the delay to add these options, they doubtlessly used it to polish the worthless ones.
The online options, while horrendous, was again expected, what with Nintendo and all, don't have problems that are COMPLETELY impossible to circumvent. Except, we still have yet to have confirmation (that I remember) of playing stock or with someone one the same Wii in "With Friends."
Sakurai also seems to have a vendetta against colors.
"Oh, those curazii geimers. Where wourud thei be without me, Sakurai? AI'rr have to teik exutura taim to puroguram it so thei canu't purei as the seim coror characuter, otherwais thei'rr never be eibure to choose diffurent corors furom eachother if thei have difficuruty terrinug eachother aparut! Thei rove it when their choices are rimited!"
"Oh! What about when peopure are pureiinug teams? Thei'rr never be abure to simpury rememuber who's on their team! I'rr have to foruce them to puray as the seim coror as their parutuner. It mei onury seruve to cause more conufusion when there are two of the seim characuters on the seim team, compuretery igunorinug mai purevious decision, but oh werr. Besides, itu's not leik there are inustanuces we arready have non-coror teams in 1-puraeier mode, or the corors courud easiry appuraid to the symubors, an opution meid more conuvenienut due to the poruturaits nexut we added."
Okay, I'm tired of typing in Engrish. I hope you can read it. Basically I'm complaining about the inability for people to play as the same color character and the continuation of the abominable team-colors, both of which would be easier to NOT program, so it seems they're going out of their way to inconvenience us.
Theres also the fact that he forces players to have a certain signature color based only on the slot number our controller is, rather than letting us pick our own, even if only from a short list of basics, and make it even easier by making it a Name-related thing.
There's also the lack of custom character colors, which while I'll admit would take a bit of programming to get even the most basic of selections, should still be far easier than making a completely non-Smash related minigame.
But of course, "Thar wood b no Smash if not 4 Sakurai." Except the fact that such a project is inevitable, and if it weren't for Sakurai someone else would have picked it up. Someone could actually know what they're doing.
Who? Iunno, a lot of possibilities.
Maybe someone new, guaranteeing that there'd be minimal bias.
Maybe Miyamoto, a designer of far more renown, who we know would pay more attention to Versus (the mode we play) than the one-time and forgettable 1-player mode because he's urged Sakurai to do so.
Point is, there'd probably be Smash without Sakurai, though it probably wouldn't have been named Smash. Even if there wasn't, we wouldn't notice because we wouldn't know. No one here's upset about there not being "Charlie's Thousand Eyes," right? That's because no one in this universe knows what they're missing.
All this is just ridiculous, but what's even more ridiculous is that you can't see it. I'm dismayed at the fact Pat and Agua intend this to be a joke. I know I'm not the only one, but maybe we're rare.
Or maybe you sheeple need to stop being so complacent, and realize that just because we COULD have less, doesn't mean we shouldn't want more.
In summation: Brawl IS going to be fun to play. But is it going to achieve its goal, its purpose? HELL NO.
Don't bother mocking me for taking the time to type this, because I'm am currently preemptively pointing out the fact that you care that I care.
This isn't necessarily done. If this thread doesn't get closed (I'm surprised, but happy, that it hasn't already. seriously, that would just be ****ing anoying) I'll proofread this and add the stuff I in all probability forgot.
