The Tournament: Redux

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

Bed grew weary of blocking the soldier and decided to drift around through the crowd. As he passed Comfort Man, the comatose man's hand brushed against his leg, as limp as a hand can possibly be.

 

[Terywj [태리]]

"Indeed. What an interesting bunch they all are." Tery sized the bed up and, like the others, was confused at the existence of something so bizarre. But then again, there was also a cactus man, too. Tery walked over to him, carefully putting away his pocket flame. "Hi. I'm Tery. Nice to meet you." He thought about extending his hand for a shake, but then he wasn't so sure.

 

[#HBC | Ryker]

With his conversation ended, Johnny looked around at his competitors for a moment before giving into his boredom. Grin on his face, he walked up to the soldier and put an arm around his shoulder.

"Ahoy! You look like a cold blooded killer and a man who enjoys his job. My kind of mate! You wouldn't happen to know where a salty sea dog could find a good meal, would you?"

 

[DtJ Jungle]

Orifice brushed the pirate's arm off him, stating coldly "I don't interact with terrorists"

 

[#HBC | Ryker]

Johnny laughed loudly as the man took the arm from his shoulder. 'That boy needed more hugs as a child' he thought to himself.

 

[Lore]

Meg, late as asual, walked into the coliseum. She had seen this tournament as a fun challenge, and after looking around at her rivals, she noticed that there were some famous fighters in the group.

Thinking that this competition will indeed be a test of her skills, she stood around, waiting for the announcer to state the match brackets.

 

[Chaco]

A blur of man rushed through the gates of the Coliseum, glinting ever so slightly as he ran. The sweat, and baby oil, dripping from Bear's body splashed on the ground after taking minutes to do so from dramatic-cinematic-effect.

"RAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" Bear growled, as he flexed biceps. Veins popped throughout his entire body, as to scream with delight at their master's physique.

 

[#HBC | Red Ryu]

The cactus noticed Tery approach and offer a hand shake. With his spikes currently retracted he could offer a handshake with his metal hand. He shoke but said nothing, since he couldn't talk at all. His body may only be squishy on the inside of that metal body in some areas, but his metal hands could still offer a nice comforting shake.

 

[Evil Eye]

Sal's Scrap Emporium had been exactly where Tulip Toretti said it would be. Bringing the skiff into Earth's atmosphere at a divebomb to avoid radar detection, Drall hauled up on the control sticks to cease its violent plummet at the last second, leaving it hovering just a few feet off the ground, amidst the sea of trash and other discarded knicknacks.

At the press of a button, the port shutter slammed upward with a rusty groan, and Sal was already standing there, looking around nervously.

"I don't usually buy stuff from cons." He puffed on the cigar held between his fingers heftily. "That an AR-25?"

"Twenty-six." Drall leaped from the cockpit and crashed into the soil with a mighty rumble. "And you're throwing in a pair of boots."

Sal grimaced. "Gonna cost me a lot of manpower to dismantle this thing before the Blips come to investigate."

"Not my problem," Drall grunted, looking at a brochure rustling on the wall of Sal's office building up ahead. Without looking away, he added: "I'm sure Tulip told you what happens to the guys that stiff me."

"Whoa, whoa!" Sal barked, throwing his hands up. Amidst the tremble of his fingers, the cigar plopped into a puddle beneath his feet. "Shit, Drall, I ain't gonna mess with you. Money's in the office, alright? Take a pair of work boots too."

Drall grunted and walked off without a word. As he neared the office, he tore the brochure off of the corkboard without looking or stopping, and glided into the office before he bothered to look at it. He glanced about to make sure the money was here, then folded open the brochure with the flick of a wrist.

CASH! GIRLS! FAME! KILLS!

"Well. I like three of those things," Drall grinned. He laced into the toughest pair of boots he could find and emerged from the office.

"Sit on that money for a bit, Sal," he said, drawing a pair of shivs from his pockets and sharpening them. "Got some shit to do."

"Uh, well, alright." Sal scratched his head, looking back at the skiff. "Just don't be too long."

"Oh, I won't." Drall turned and started to walk in the direction of the address given on the brochure. Halfway out of the lot, he turned back. "Oh yeah -- you might want to start digging a hole in all that trash, Sally."

Sal stopped in the middle of trying to light another cigar. "Uh. Why's that?"

Drall grinned again. "'Cause you wouldn't want nobody to find the body in the copilot's seat."

He continued his trek.

Before long, he had reached the outskirts of the colisseum.

 

[Evil Eye]

(I'd like to suggest that wa stop italicizing our entries, since it doesn't really serve any purpose and just makes them harder to read.)

 

[Lore]

Meg happened to glance at the giant cactus robot, and she saw Terywj shaking the robot's hand. A slight smile passed over her lips as she walked over there and said, "Hello, Mr. Zero. I'm Meg Kasrani, and I think that you fought Werekill Hazelips last year, correct?

She shook her head as she continued. "He's been a bit of an idiot as long as I've known him, and I've always told him that that crystal is going to be the end of him... But thanks for sparing him during your fight."

 

[Evil Eye]

A crowd had gathered around the colisseum, waiting for admission. They didn't pay Drall much mind as he slithered through their ranks, taking care not to jostle any of them out of their impatient trance. As he neared the front of the ranks, he saw a bizarre cavalcade of freaks gathered near the entrants that must have composed his competition. He snorted.

"Easy meat."

Rather than bother with socializing, he slipped from the crowd over to a ridge outlining the entrance to the colisseum, ducking lithely into the corner without being seen. Digging his fingers into the cracked brick, he began to ascend, climbing up until he was able to pull himself over the top of the ridge. A quick jump and he was able to throw his fingertips over the edge of the colisseum roof; one taut haul of his massive arms was all it took to slip over to the apex of the area.

Crouched atop the dome, he looked down to surveil his prey. A female stood out among the crowd like a tall tree amidst a dead plain. A bit skinny, perhaps, but he wasn't about to be picky. Not after three months in Daffodil Tower.

Drall grinned. The brochure was good for at least one of its promises, apparently.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

Bed's springs began to tighten with anticipation, and he decided he was done bumping into people and moved into the arena through the entrance. While looking at the large arch he was passing through, he wondered if it would be fun to climb, but those thoughts were quickly banished since Bed had a serious problem with finger envy.

(so is the arena itself already established or is it just first person to talk about it gets to decide?)

 

[Chaco]

As Bear began to look around the Coliseum, a strong, familiar odor erupted suddenly. Jerking his head to the left, then right, he sniffed the air vigorously.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

Bed could tell the comatose man had defacated himself, and quickly used his magic to dispose of the unpleasant substance. It looked like the shiny man had already noticed however. Bed lowered his suspension in embarrassment.

 

[Terywj [태리]]

(We're waiting on everyone to make at least one introductory post before I get stuff started.)

Tery, puzzled by the lack of speech from the cactus man, decided not to pester on. Noticing a young woman approach him. "Charmed," extending a hand to shake. "I assume you're a good friend of Werekill's? No worries, I'm not the type of man to kill mercilessly in these types of situations."

Well-dressed attendants began appearing throughout the arena and were counting up the entrants.

 

[Wrath`]

Khanz sat upon a pile of bricks up in an abandoned tower near the Colosseum. "What a motley crew has gathered here for a simple tournament" though Khanz as he put away the binoculars he had been using to scope out his competition. Time to stop watching and start interacting he thought as he started to walk down the stairs of the tower. CRACCK!, the stairs underneath him gave way and Khanz found himself a few flower lower then anticipated. "Well damn, hope my luck isn't this bad during the games". Khanz recovered quickly and proceeded to leave the tower.

He could hear the excitement of the town as he drew close to the Colosseum. The cheering, waving and joy of the people around him made him feel even more ready to get things started then he already was. As Khanz approached the entrance he saw a man and a cactoid like creature. Khanz scratched his head, "the hell? A cactus?" He was a bit confused as to what this thing might be, but instead of dwelling on ifs, he walked right up two the two and introduced himself. "Hello, I'm Khanz and I'm here to compete, but might I ask what are you?" Khanz was looking straight at the cactus with much curiosity.

 

[Chaco]

Bear glanced at Bed, acknowledging the presence of a foul, not so familiar odor.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

Bed pondered on why the man seemed so surprised by the smell of poo...

Had he never smelled it before?

Regardless, he was clearly not very familiar with butts. That much was for sure.

 

[Chaco]

As Bear covered his nostrils, he lost the scent of the man he had worked so hard to track down. He thought to himself, the smell of **** fresh on the brain, on how hot the *** was that let that slammer. Bear was a man who was very familiar with butts. That much was for sure.

 

[Terywj [태리]]

(We're waiting on Laundry and Asdioh and I'll proceed with the story.)

 

[DtJ S2n]

Comfort Man knew that the smell of poop was near by. He saw it in every single person's face. He must escape. He politely pushed his way through the crowd, and stopped before reaching the street. Caution first. He looked left, then right, then left. Before anyone knew it, he was across the street. He began to walk. Next door to the Starbucks, he came across a place called Sal's Scrap Emporium. It looked interesting, so he decided to check it out. When he came through the entrance, he saw a large man busy filling a hole in the ground. It only took a quick glance around the heaps of tire rims and bubble gum wrappers for him to see a real treasure. It was one of those 25 cent ride Spaceships you see outside of Targets all the time. Comfort Man climbed into the ride, and deposited a quarter into the coin deposit that was painted up to look like a cd player. His finger hovered over the big button labeled start. This was going to be the best ride ever.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

Sal looked on in confusion as the super hero in jeans casually walked onto his newly acquired spaceship, giggling with delight the whole time.

He didn't know who this idiot was, but he had picked a bad day to mess with- OH ****, THE BODY WAS STILL IN THE COCKPIT.

Sal dropped his shovel and ran after Comfortman.

 

[Evil Eye]

Drall walked across the roof of the arena until he found a maintenance hatch. Peeking through to make sure there were no custodial staff around, he grasped the metallic ladder and slid down to the catwalk below. After landing on it, he looked down below to see that some entrants were walking down a tunnel below him, presumably toward the main combat area.

And then... could it be?

Leaping off of the guardrail of the catwalk, Drall grabbed hold of an upper scaffolding that lined the roof. He slipped his legs around it and hung, looking straight down. Yes. He would know those glistening muscles anywhere. It was Bear. Somehow, he'd tracked him across the galaxy.

Drall snorted. A girl, cash, and his worst enemy. Revenge. The day was turning out better than he could have hoped.

Creeakk!

His eyes flickered across the darkness, honing in on the sound instantly as the door swung across its hinges. Drall eyed the man in a teal jumpsuit, carrying a tool box. Unblinking, his eyes traced the man's path across the catwalk, calculating. The man would never know the value of his life was being weighed.

Drall snorted again and ignored the custodian as he began to ascend the ladder, instead opting to clamber into the upper reaches of the scaffolding and travel towards the arena. There would be plenty of killing yet, and he didn't want to alert Bear to his presence.

 

[DtJ S2n]

Comfort Man's finger was already on the button before he could notice the greasy hobo running up to the ship. Probably to beg for quarters.

"I'm sorry good sir, I don't have any quarters!"

This was a lie. In fact, any one could see that he still had quarters lined up to continue pumping into the coin deposit. Now how to get this ride to do that wiggling stuff. Comfort Man looked at the control sticks confused. He grabbed them and hit the gas. He was lifted off the ground. He looked over to his co-pilot mannequin.

"We have lift off, good buddy!"

Comfort Man was a surprisingly talented pilot of the spaceship, it came naturally apparently. As he began to drift away, Sal grabbed onto the base of the ship and hung on, screaming. Comfort Man simply has to show his friend Robert, the gentleman on the bed, this ride. He skillfully maneuvered the ship through the archway, chasing after the squeaky-wheeled bed. When he finally saw his friend, he waved and decided he would do a backflip to show off. The ship gained altitude... but it would not flip! This was a no-fun ship. The ship continued to speed upwards towards the scaffolding. Comfort Man could swear he saw a nasty gigantic spider climbing along the scaffolds. Comfort Man dived out of the ship, leaving his co-pilot mannequin to die. He was a brave thing. The hobo grabbed onto him as he fell, desperate for Comfort Man's change. He fell face first into the ground. The last thought he had was "That ground looks like it's going to hurt... and bad!" The next thought he had was "This marshmallow-like ground sure is comfortable! How lucky!"

 

[Evil Eye]

As he maneuvered through the scaffolding, Drall heard a familiar whinging sound coming from the entrance to the tunnel. He glanced over his shoulder, hoping to all hell that his instincts were wrong. They weren't.

Roaring toward him was the ship he'd sold not too long ago at all.

The skiff started to haul upwards toward him. Had the Blips gotten onto Sal already? Or was it another bounty hunter? Whomever it was, they meant business. As the skiff hurtled toward Drall, he saw two men dive out. One of them had a cigar clasped between two burly fingers.

"Sal. You mothafucka." Drall had no time to dwell on the scrap king's treachery; swinging to the side, he released his hold on the scaffolding and landed on the starboard side of the skiff, sliding and rolling across its sloped outer chassis. As he reached the gun port on that side, Drall kicked off of it and grabbed hold of the underside of the far catwalk.

But the skiff, alas, had other plans. As it continued to ascend, its stern thrusters hooked across the scaffolding and the catwalks supports, and Drall was torn from his roost by the array of concrete dust and cracked metal. The best he could do was to shift his weight as he fell, and he landed in a squat, one hand slapped down to keep his balance, right in front of the teenage girl.

 

[Terywj [태리]]

Tery, slightly startled by the appearance of Drall, turned to that direction. "Hello. The name is Tery. It's nice to meet you." Tery introduced himself to the extremely muscular gentleman.

More uniformed staff began to appear throughout the Coliseum. Some were in the stands, bringing about discussion with the people who were spectating, some stood in position at various areas around the arena, and others were working on some group planning. The tournament was about to start.

 

[Lore]

Startled by the large man's sudden appearance, Meg jumped back and dropped a knife from inside her sleeve into her hand while stealthily concealing the weapon. "What the heck? Is someone trying to start early or something?"

She looked more closely at Drall. "Wait, aren't you that guy who was sneaking around? I thought I saw you looking over here a bit."

 

[Evil Eye]

Drall stood, slowly, breathing deeply through his nose to fill his lungs with her scent. A low rumble of approval purred in his throat as he stood up to his full towering size. Annoyed, he swung his head over to look at the asian girl that was addressing her. She was an androgynous sort, even skinnier than the teenager and with the kind of short haircut he saw often in Daffodil Tower's D-block. D for ****, that is.

Unimpressed, he looked away without acknowledging her greeting. She would do in a pinch, but there was more worthwhile game to be had. He turned back to the teenager girl and circled like a shark, leaning in slightly and smelling the air again.

"You might say I was. Sneakin' around, that is. Been a whiiiiiile since I smelled beautiful. Mmm." He grinned. "Too long, I'd say."

 

[DtJ S2n]

This new man had a smooth way with words. He was having a conversation with the Iron Chef. Comfort Man approached him, about to start small talk, maybe about the weather or the efficiency of flying spacecraft as a means to squish spiders. Comfort Man was embarrassed suddenly decided he didn't want to interrupt their conversation. He turned around to walk away... but then saw a caterpillar on the floor. He bent over to try and pick up the caterpillar, but it began violently wiggling to escape Comfort Man. He stretched to his limits and extended his lower back into the air. The caterpillar had decided to rebel and was coming straight at him now! Comfort Man began to back up, to give the caterpillar his space.

Little did he know, his hieney was heading straight towards Drall.

 

[#HBC | Red Ryu]

The cactus noticed the new person who approached. A skinny person with black hair, introduced himself to him. When he was asked for his name, he knew he couldn't answer, so instead he looked down displeased that he lacked the ability to talk.

He didn't have anything to write on so he was unsure how to communicate other than a friendly wave at him.

 

[#HBC | Ryker]

The man with the cigar landed on the ground but didn't splatter, much like the man with the blanket tied around his neck. Interesting, thought Johnny as he walked over and lifted the man to his feet. "I take it you're the entrant with all the RC gadgets? The bed was hilarious although I have no idea what ye be doin with the cactus."

 

[Evil Eye]

Sal reveled at the untarnished state of his cigar. What had just happened? Almost pensively, he puffed on the cigar, and found that the flavor, like his skull, had been saved.

"Only thing I coulda called my own was the skiff that just flew by, after that fuckin' idiot just about ruined it! God only knows what's happened to it now, gonna cost me a couple hundred grand though and I ain't happy about it."

He paused, thoughtfully. "Say, you seem like a ruffian type. You wanna make some credits? That ****** with the cape just cost me a lotta cheese, and I tend to make examples of his type."

----


(I hearby declare Sal to be a fringe NPC everybody can use when it would be funny to do so)

 

[Lore]

Meg backed up a bit. "Has it also been a while since you've gotten stabbed? Sorry, but big, ugly, and creepy guys just aren't my type."

 

[Terywj [태리]]

Tery look back and forth between Drall and Meg worriedly. Not sure if this is a good idea for such hostility to begin even before actual matches, but there really wasn't much he could do about it.

 

[DtJ Glyphmoney]

Using the skiff as a distraction, Bed stealthily moved behind Comfort Man and relieved him of his wallet via MAGIC. Inside was roughly $5 in quarters, a credit card, and a piece of paper. Bed rued his lack of fingers, as he was unable to unfold the mysterious note. What secrets could it hold?!

Putting everything back save for the credit card, which he hid underneath the comatose guy, Bed warped the wallet back to Comfort Man's buttocks pocket, and set out for that Starbucks outside.

 

[#HBC | Ryker]

"One moment, mate," Johnny said to the man offering him a job. He had just seen an opportunity to score with a salty wench. When opportunity knocks, one cannot say that Captain Johnny Tealbeard did not answer.

He walked up to the harassed young lady's side and put his arm around her. "Aye, so why don't you shove off, matey. It would appear that the lass would prefer not to be visited upon by your attention. Yar har har!"

 

[Asdioh]

"Wah!" rasped Spencer, "What are we gonna do on the bed?"

Pomf =Э

 

[Evil Eye]

Before he could offer a witty retort, Drall's eyes immediately locked in on the hypnotic rear end that was inching closer to him, swaying in the absent-minded seductive dance that could only be performed by the blissfully unaware.

Uneasily, he tore his gaze away and stared down the bearded foe. He focused, eyebrows tightening over his hardened gaze, and just like that, the barrel-chested pirate had been slammed hard into the nearby wall.

"I don't like it when people involve themselves in my shit," Drall growled. But just as soon as he began to reach for one of his shivs, the behind that had transfixed him just moments earlier bopped capriciously into the side of his leg. He found his gaze drawn to it again, and felt beads of sweat begin to form.

Keep it together, man. Not now. Bear can smell that shit a mile away. I can't have him gettin' onto me.

With great effort, he pulled himself away from the oblivious caped one. However, he'd lost all concentration on the smug buccaneer he'd been dealing with, and immediately realized his mistake. As Drall looked back to the pirate, he knew he was about to be under attack and clenched his fists.

"YA HA HA HARRR! FORGIVE THE INTRUSION -- PER'APS I BE INVOLVIN' MESELF IN YER CORPSE INSTEAD, THEN!"

With a windmill like motion, the pirate hurled the sandy behemoth toward him. Drall took just a moment to soak in the ferocious mightiness of this creature as it soared toward him, fins flapping, tail thrashing, jaws gnashing wildly. He felt a great awe and respect for this fearsome creature, a kindred soul indeed.

But it needed to be put down.

Snapped from his trance, Drall thrust his arm upward, his huge fist colliding with the underside of the beast's jaw with a thunderous reverberation. Stopped dead in its tracks, the shark flew backward and flopped suppine on the ground between Drall and his new nemesis.

And yet, as surely as this nemesis had just been standing with his back to the wall, Drall found the pirate's yellowed grin now just inches away from him.

__________

(all bunnying of Johnny Tealbeard is 100% Ryker-approved)

 

[Lore]

Meg stepped back, again, and let the two men fight it out. Although they both were obviously making a move on her, she had to admit to herself that the pirate was at least a bit less creepy, so she found herself silently rooting for the pirate.