The Ten Commandments of Maining Captain Falcon

[shadowofchaos725]

I don't believe this was posted here before... I did a search, and I couldn't find anything similar...

This was posted by c.Hood on another forum...

ALL CREDIT GOES TO Minjo Master of gamefaqs ^_^
This isn't my creation!!
Just had to repost this here in NW since its so awesome :D...!!

So... without further ado!!!!

HERE ARE THE COMMANDMENTS

1. Thou shalt not attack thy opponent without asking them to show you their moves, or to COME ON!

2. Thou shalt not attack a taunt spammer, for they are the chosen people of the Captain, and are afforded his sacred protection. Do not harm them, lest you anger Captain Falcon.

3. Thou shalt not bemoan the Captain's tier standing, and blame him for a loss. It was not Captain Falcon who was too weak, it was thou.

4. Thou shalt always spam "SHOW ME YA MOVES" whenever the crowd chants for the Captain, as a sign of acknowledgement to all of his loyal fans. Thou shalt also spam this taunt if the camera is zoomed in on the Captain from a Tingle Assist Trophy.

5. Thou shalt let any Kirby who wishes to inhale and copy the Falcon Punch do as he pleases. However, if thou is attacked by this Kirby, Captain Falcon's swift judgment must be delivered to him, as he has broken the sacred bond of Master and Pupil, and shall pay for his foolishness.

6. Thou shalt not land a Falcon Punch or Knee of Justice without immediately asking thy opponent to show you their moves, unless thou has a chance to perform a Sacred Combo, in which case the taunt must be performed as soon as thou hast finished.

7. Thou shalt respect thy father, Ganondorf, as thou would respect a fellow Captain Falcon. Ganondorf is law.

8. Thou shalt not allow a spammer to not show the Captain their moves if he has asked them to. If the spammer insists on using the same move, thy fury must be delivered swiftly and with good aim to the spammer until they agree to show the Captain the rest of their moves, or are killed.

9. Thou shalt use the Falcon system of measurement.

10. Thou shalt lead children along the path of the Falcon by showing them thy moves as capably as thou can, and leading them to believe that using Captain Falcon is the way to victory.

Some extra stuff I found on google

._.

LOL

Our Captain, who art in Port Town, hallowed be thine moves.
Thine epicness come, thine moves be done, on Earth as in Smash Bros.
Give us today our daily win, and forgive us our noobishness, as we pwn those who taunt against us.
Save us from the time of fail, and deliver us from Goroh
For the KO, the win, and the Smash Ball are yours, now and forever.

Amen

We believe in one Captain,
the Falcon, the Almighty,
maker of Melee and of Brawl,
of all that is, played and unplayed.

We believe in one Lord, Ganondorf,
the only clone of Captain Falcon,
eternally begotten of the Captain,
knee from knee, pawnch from pawnch,
true 'Dorf from true Captain,
begotten, not made,
one in move set with the Captain.
Through the Captain all things were pwned.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from F-Zero:
by the power of the Falcon Punch,
he came in a car name the Blue Falcon,
and manliness was made.

For our sake he was nerfed under Masahiro Sakurai;
he suffered loss and was buried.
On the third day he pwned again
in accordance with the FAQs;
he ascended into Brawl
and is seated by the Master Hand.
He will come again in glory
to pwn the noobs and the trolls,
and his asskicking will have no end.

We believe in the Falcon Punch, the standard B, the giver of pain,
which proceeds from the Captain.
With the Captain and the 'Dorf,
it is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the taunts.
We believe in One Holy Falconist and freaking l33t Church.
We acknowledge one Knee for the punishment of noobs.
We look for the resurrection of the bread,
and the awesomeness of the sequels to come.

Forgive me if this might be considered spam... but this stuff is epic!!!

 

[Darxmarth23]

We don't need this.

<3 Ganon.

 

[kirbz]

commandment #5 makes me warm and fuzzy

commandment #2 makes me sick

 

[Dxkid]

o_o no comment

 

[Darxmarth23]

If i was a mod this would be closed really fast.

 

[Roager]

Ganondorf... Father? no. Brother. Not father.

But, yeah, still, he is of the clan. And is thus worthy.

 

[Zeallyx]

Stop replying to this topic now.
yes I am a hypocrit now, but better one hypocrit than over 9000 replies to this thread
/thread.

 

[Xsyven]

Use the report button, rather than saying "This should be closed", please.