That is quite nice, P.h.D or Masters?
I just have my bachelor's. I never said I was a biologist like your father.
When someone punches you, per se, you would most likely strike back, wouldn't you? That strike would be self-defence, not revenge on hitting you.
Revenge takes contemplating on whether you should do it or not.
I don't know. I'd think that attempting to block the punch would be self-defense, or if you blocked it and countered with a punch. I feel like once you have received the hit, punching back afterward is at least partially out of revenge (depending on the situation). Example: someone hits you, and it doesn't really look as if they plan on hitting you again. You punch them. That seems to be out of revenge and not self-defense (what are you defending yourself from?).
Say that person punches you, you take it, and then once at home or away from that person you contemplate on how to strike them back. Is that not revenge?
Of course that is revenge.
But to actually answer your question, I'm not sure when revenge is no longer governed by instinct.
Might it be when a person takes a minor victory over one, and the loser seeks revenge to have a major victory over the original victor.
Or were you intending me to ask my father about that?
No, I didn't want you to ask your father anything. I was just curious as to your outlook on instinct versus revenge (imo the example you gave above asking 'Is that not revenge?' would not be controlled by human instinct).