Jamwa
Smash Champion
I find myself at a church for some reason, but there's an unusual amount of fedoras
a little Asian who looks 12 but carries an aura of infinite wisdom instructs me to fight Ronald mc Donald.
“jomwo” he called me. Something I had not heard in an era, but I give it no further thought; I go by names equally infinite.
after manoeuvring through countless sweaty nerds and some kid shotgunning a VB whilst simultaneously johnning, I see my opponent.
he moves seats quickly, bowing as he retreats and whispers “jamwaaaaaaaa….”
I pick the character with a snapback lol.
I slouch back into my chair
prime batting position
the audience’s knees buckle at sight of my perfect form
“
” I say under my breath as this wranger picks tails
it is time.
“oh jankwa, may I use customs?” he begs.
“of course” I reply; it is known I am an advocate of both equipment and customs.
as carrot top enters the settings for his gun and reflector, I see him turn bloom and contrast to max.
suddenly, I begin to hear the howls of terror from the lord of the pit himself
my defences are open.
frantically, I search for dave, but him nor his shades are in sight.
as I turn around, it is too late
red and blue fills my vision
the crowd is bathed in a soul revealing light
nothing could have prepared me for this, except for perhaps being a gingy
as i recover from epilepsy, i realize the game is over
I look down and see that my grip was so tight on the [triggers] that my knuckles (yeah) mirrored sam’s skin.
I turn around and people are hype though for some reason so whatever I just roll with it ya kno u feelin
I pick final destination as I know there are no franchises established on that stage yet.
without the power of Grimace’s hot piece of A.S.S. and the black hole (probably located somewhere in the background I don’t know ok just go with it) absorbing the blinding light emanating from sam’s head he is no match
as i unleash the ‘every_time’ and pk 'sideburner', redact kills another three children with any resemblance to abe lincoln while the crowd raises the roof
as i win, i jump up, but no-one sees it because my DJC timing is too wicked quick
as fast as that mad DJC tho i realise that my shields are still down, and sam has chosen YS even though im not sure he can pick that stage again cos of DSR or w/e but he's silly for not picking PS anyway so i let him do it lmao
i see the everytime still has sam shaken as the match begins and quickly turns in my favour
its 3 stocks to 2 when the momentum shifts
the cat/dog animal thing grabs the little boy and just piffs him into the air
as i am caught in hitlag, i have a near death experience
"captain.....captain......use your head......."
in what seems like the length of your average brawl game, i snap back (nailed it) to reality, i SDI the uair and fall down with fox in like some DBZ kind of scene
not with a fox would i eat an uair
sam is unprepared for the ill rage i release
ONE UAIR
sebby asks me to quiet down because he is in a match and he wasnt ready for the telepathic orgasm i broadcasted so soon after melee doubles
TWO UAIRS
dave leaves the venue and turns to drugs
the double jump begins, and skeletom can see, of course he can see, the justice that is about to be unleashed.
but this combo was no where near as smooth as ace ventura
all falcon mains in the building fall down in pain as their knees fail to reach climax
"The laces weren't out" screams some rando paranoid
it was true though, ness always double knots
as i run out of the venue, i can hear basty scream "fraudwa" from the land of inbreds
before i make it to the road, a green egg hits me in my perfect calves and i fall and pass out
just like the fever dreams i had as a child, the words permeate my sanity and eclipse my consciousness
"sam i am"
a little Asian who looks 12 but carries an aura of infinite wisdom instructs me to fight Ronald mc Donald.
“jomwo” he called me. Something I had not heard in an era, but I give it no further thought; I go by names equally infinite.
after manoeuvring through countless sweaty nerds and some kid shotgunning a VB whilst simultaneously johnning, I see my opponent.
he moves seats quickly, bowing as he retreats and whispers “jamwaaaaaaaa….”
I pick the character with a snapback lol.
I slouch back into my chair
prime batting position
the audience’s knees buckle at sight of my perfect form
“
” I say under my breath as this wranger picks tailsit is time.
“oh jankwa, may I use customs?” he begs.
“of course” I reply; it is known I am an advocate of both equipment and customs.
as carrot top enters the settings for his gun and reflector, I see him turn bloom and contrast to max.
suddenly, I begin to hear the howls of terror from the lord of the pit himself
my defences are open.
frantically, I search for dave, but him nor his shades are in sight.
as I turn around, it is too late
red and blue fills my vision
the crowd is bathed in a soul revealing light
nothing could have prepared me for this, except for perhaps being a gingy
as i recover from epilepsy, i realize the game is over
I look down and see that my grip was so tight on the [triggers] that my knuckles (yeah) mirrored sam’s skin.
I turn around and people are hype though for some reason so whatever I just roll with it ya kno u feelin
I pick final destination as I know there are no franchises established on that stage yet.
without the power of Grimace’s hot piece of A.S.S. and the black hole (probably located somewhere in the background I don’t know ok just go with it) absorbing the blinding light emanating from sam’s head he is no match
as i unleash the ‘every_time’ and pk 'sideburner', redact kills another three children with any resemblance to abe lincoln while the crowd raises the roof
as i win, i jump up, but no-one sees it because my DJC timing is too wicked quick
as fast as that mad DJC tho i realise that my shields are still down, and sam has chosen YS even though im not sure he can pick that stage again cos of DSR or w/e but he's silly for not picking PS anyway so i let him do it lmao
i see the everytime still has sam shaken as the match begins and quickly turns in my favour
its 3 stocks to 2 when the momentum shifts
the cat/dog animal thing grabs the little boy and just piffs him into the air
as i am caught in hitlag, i have a near death experience
"captain.....captain......use your head......."
in what seems like the length of your average brawl game, i snap back (nailed it) to reality, i SDI the uair and fall down with fox in like some DBZ kind of scene
not with a fox would i eat an uair
sam is unprepared for the ill rage i release
ONE UAIR
sebby asks me to quiet down because he is in a match and he wasnt ready for the telepathic orgasm i broadcasted so soon after melee doubles
TWO UAIRS
dave leaves the venue and turns to drugs
the double jump begins, and skeletom can see, of course he can see, the justice that is about to be unleashed.
but this combo was no where near as smooth as ace ventura
all falcon mains in the building fall down in pain as their knees fail to reach climax
"The laces weren't out" screams some rando paranoid
it was true though, ness always double knots
as i run out of the venue, i can hear basty scream "fraudwa" from the land of inbreds
before i make it to the road, a green egg hits me in my perfect calves and i fall and pass out
just like the fever dreams i had as a child, the words permeate my sanity and eclipse my consciousness
"sam i am"
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