The Dating Advice Thread

[Trick or Treat]

You'll regret doing this to me. Before you come crawling back you should know that I've moved on. I deserve better than to be treated like this. T__T

GOODBYE!

lol k bai

(This is your cue to complain about how girls only go for jerks)

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Holder you doing anything tonight bby?

 

[Holder of the Heel]

Keep dreaming pal.

 

[Trick or Treat]

Threesome?

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I can tell you right now I'm a jerk and girls don't go for me

 

[Sahfarry]

I like to say the friendzone DOES exist. It's just when you try but you get that classic "let's just be friends" line. Some people see it as something else.

I gotta say I've been friendzoned a feew times ;(

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

The problem with the whole friendzone thing is that you assume they could be attracted to you in the first place if it wasn't for some kind of arbitrary thing

 

[Holder of the Heel]

I've been (jokingly?) told to my face by a girl that I was friendzoned.

It was probably only a few days later that we ended up dating like it never happened. The lesson is no one can resist me things can change.

Threesome?

All is forgiven!

 

[Trick or Treat]

People need to realize that not everyone likes everyone.

You could be the greatest guy ever, but if I don't have any feelings for you, in a romantic way, why would I date you?

 

[Froggy]

People need to realize that not everyone likes everyone.

You could be the greatest guy ever, but if I don't have any feelings for you, in a romantic way, why would I date you?

Guys this ^is stupid. Ignore her.

You can make a girl like you if you try hard enough, her feelings at the moment are kinda irrelevant to the long run.

 

[Trick or Treat]

Guys this ^is stupid. Ignore her.

You can make a girl like you if you try hard enough her feelings at the moment are kinda irrelevant to the long run.

You're so funny.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I'll FORCE her to like me!

Whether she likes it or not!

 

[lvl 9]

You could make her like you, but you may just need to make her jealous.
1st. Get money. Lots of money. The only thing girls like are things, so you need money.
2nd. Get a hot ass car, or see rule one.
3rd. Kill all her friends. If she lonely she'll have no one to run to but you.
Lastly don't listen to me and be yourself. Works 95% of the time.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I'll trade me for someone else.

That way I can be them

and being them will be me

 

[lvl 9]

I'll trade me for someone else.

That way I can be them

and being them will be me

Truer words have never been spoken,

 

[Froggy]

@Envy: In the future don't spit crap like that again. Some poor sap might believe you.

 

[Trick or Treat]

@Envy: In the future don't spit crap like that again. Some poor sap might believe you.

This would be funnier if it was actually...funny.

 

[Teran]

Guys this ^is stupid. Ignore her.

You can make a girl like you if you try hard enough, her feelings at the moment are kinda irrelevant to the long run.

Lowat

No but really, the friendzone is a permanent position unless you end up getting hotter.

There's a difference between someone only being friends with you due to personal complications and someone only being friends because they're not physically attracted to you.

Guys really need to get over the notion that personality and "game" can overcome the complete lack of physical attraction, that's a feat only money can accomplish.

 

[Trick or Treat]

Lowat

No but really, the friendzone is a permanent position unless you end up getting hotter.

There's a difference between someone only being friends with you due to personal complications and someone only being friends because they're not physically attracted to you.

Guys really need to get over the notion that personality and "game" can overcome the complete lack of physical attraction, that's a feat only money can accomplish.

9 times out of 10, this is true. Rarely, it still is possible to get out of the friendzone naturally, I've seen it happen right in front of me. And it only took 2 years!
On that rare occasion, it is possible that down the road the girl (or guy) does develop feelings or some type of attraction to you. It's not impossible, just pretty rare.

If they're not attracted to you, physically or emotionally, if they don't have feelings for you, they're not going to date you. A lot of guys (and girls) need to get that through their heads. It's not some big conspiracy against you ir guys in general, it's just simple. Get over it.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Some ways I got out of the friend zone:
1) I bought the 'special item' for her (special items can sometimes change on a weekly basis).
2) I was there with her and for her 24/7 (there are events where they break down and you can exploit that).
3) I dated one of her close friends to make her jealous and then broke it off in order to get with her (only used if nothing else was working).

Sometimes you just need to hit a special event flag with the person you want to be with otherwise the relationship will remain as friends until the end of the game. For higher tier/secret characters it's usually a combination of the above three that are required before you can date them. Sometimes you have to turn down other girls and blatantly friend zone them before she will become an available option which some people never trigger because they like having the option of dating them all per their convenience after putting in the effort to unlock each girl.

 

[Lore]

Exactly. Visual Novel logic obviously applies in real life too.

Edited for various reasons.

 

[Trick or Treat]

Exactly. Visual Novel logic obviously applies in real life too.

Edited for various reasons

Yep. There goes my heart. Goodbye, world.

 

[Lore]

Yep. There goes my heart. Goodbye, world.

Edited for various reasons.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

Of course the "friendzone" isn't forever, people can't just look at someone and get some impression and say "Yep, this will be a friend" and categorize people and put them into proper files. The world isn't static like that and people, the "friendzoner" and the "friendzoned", aren't that simple. Particularly with women, more factors come into play with themselves and what they are looking for in a serious relationship. Sure, it's probably 9 times out of 10 that she ends up being right and nothing changes about who she is and what she sees in another person (in the ways that matter), but of course it is a possibility.

Though Froggy, I wouldn't try so hard to alter someone's perception of you. Just do your thing. Even when you're right and things can change, a lot of the time you could just be wasting your time while you can be focusing on yourself so as to become a better and more fulfilling person and thus more appealing to women as a result. You're not doing yourself any favors overall by focusing on a female like that.

 

[Dodongo]

Some ways I got out of the friend zone:
1) I bought the 'special item' for her (special items can sometimes change on a weekly basis).
2) I was there with her and for her 24/7 (there are events where they break down and you can exploit that).
3) I dated one of her close friends to make her jealous and then broke it off in order to get with her (only used if nothing else was working).

Sometimes you just need to hit a special event flag with the person you want to be with otherwise the relationship will remain as friends until the end of the game. For higher tier/secret characters it's usually a combination of the above three that are required before you can date them. Sometimes you have to turn down other girls and blatantly friend zone them before she will become an available option which some people never trigger because they like having the option of dating them all per their convenience after putting in the effort to unlock each girl.

...wat?

You realize women are people too, right?

I guess this kind of thing might be sort of effective in high school, but there's no way any living, thinking adult would fall for it. If they did, would you really want to date someone so vapid and gullible? Anyway, a relation based upon deceit sounds totally unfulfilling in every way. People have really complex needs, and you can't fake your way into any kind of real connection.

 

[Livvers]

99% of you are like children stumbling through a world you think you understand and that you think you can bend to your will using lies and deceit. You aren't talking about how to get any sort of real or meaningful relationship. You focus on the wrong people(possibly because good people won't consider you or date you long), and act like each person in your life is not a unique person with their own feelings, thoughts, loves, worries, and fears. Or you realize just enough to exploit those human qualities. You act like you deserve to be with someone, and that it's ok to use manipulation to falsely get someone to like you. But they don't actually like you, because you're not being yourself with them. The lack of real love and empathy in this thread is astounding.

I know plenty of good, nice people who have meaningful relationships and didn't have to con their partners into them. If people won't date you, how about an inward look at yourself? And I don't mean become some alpha bull**** redpill choking ignorant jerk. And I don't mean learning how to toy with and manipulate someone's emotions. And if you think that kind of behavior is ok, then that's a pretty big sign on why people didn't date you to begin with.

Nobody owes you anything. People are going to respond to you a lot more positively if you work on yourself in a positive way. No one is born perfect. No one is going to be perfect. Some of us are more handicapped than others in life, some of us have it easier. It isn't fair, but you have to take what you're handed and work with it. Learning to manipulate others isn't what a mentally healthy individual does. It's what a sociopath does because otherwise he/she won't fit into the world.

An edited add-on:

You know, if you're at a bar and you just want to sleep with someone, like whatever. Your intentions are pretty clear here. But thinking you can apply dumbass Game mentality to an actual relationship and someone who is supposed to be your friend is stupid and ****ty

 

[Holder of the Heel]

I... I think Acrostic was joking.

o_o

 

[Lore]

I... I think Acrostic was joking.

o_o

I'm 99% sure the second paragraph was, hence my post of "exactly, visual novel logic applies." I was joking as well.

Dodongo and Livvers do have nice posts though.

 

[ndayday]

A book can't teach you to be a person, who would have guessed

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

...wat? You realize women are people too, right? I guess this kind of thing might be sort of effective in high school, but there's no way any living, thinking adult would fall for it. If they did, would you really want to date someone so vapid and gullible? Anyway, a relation based upon deceit sounds totally unfulfilling in every way. People have really complex needs, and you can't fake your way into any kind of real connection.

You're absolutely right. I was wrong in treating girls like they were programmed lines of code and now I realize that there is no magic formula in order to really win over their affection. The reason that I've adopted such a formulaic approach to getting to know people is because I've been heart broken before and I don't want to leave myself open because I'm scared that other people will take advantage of who I am on the inside.

99% of you are like children stumbling through a world you think you understand and that you think you can bend to your will using lies and deceit. You aren't talking about how to get any sort of real or meaningful relationship. You focus on the wrong people(possibly because good people won't consider you or date you long), and act like each person in your life is not a unique person with their own feelings, thoughts, loves, worries, and fears. Or you realize just enough to exploit those human qualities. You act like you deserve to be with someone, and that it's ok to use manipulation to falsely get someone to like you. But they don't actually like you, because you're not being yourself with them. The lack of real love and empathy in this thread is astounding.

I know plenty of good, nice people who have meaningful relationships and didn't have to con their partners into them. If people won't date you, how about an inward look at yourself? And I don't mean become some alpha bull**** redpill choking ignorant jerk. And I don't mean learning how to toy with and manipulate someone's emotions. And if you think that kind of behavior is ok, then that's a pretty big sign on why people didn't date you to begin with.

Nobody owes you anything. People are going to respond to you a lot more positively if you work on yourself in a positive way. No one is born perfect. No one is going to be perfect. Some of us are more handicapped than others in life, some of us have it easier. It isn't fair, but you have to take what you're handed and work with it. Learning to manipulate others isn't what a mentally healthy individual does. It's what a sociopath does because otherwise he/she won't fit into the world.

An edited add-on: You know, if you're at a bar and you just want to sleep with someone, like whatever. Your intentions are pretty clear here. But thinking you can apply ******* Game mentality to an actual relationship and someone who is supposed to be your friend is stupid and ****ty

I realize that what I said seemed incredibly callous, but it's only because I have been thrust into situations where I have no choice but to engage with members of the opposite sex. Having been raised in an academic testing environment, it seems like interacting with other people just makes me consider the options of interaction like a multiple choice test and I can't really develop the dialogue without already deciding the route that I want to go. I never considered the other girls in my life to be nothing more than potential date options and have always struggled between wanting to keep an open choice of having an intimate moment with a girl and actually committing to one of them in turn giving up the chance to date anyone else that might catch my fancy.

Although I'm pretty sure I'm not a sociopath, there are times when I feel that I don't fit in the world. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a firm grasp of what I look like and I'm not very conscious of how I appear to other people. I think that lately I've felt that there's some greater force that has been pushing me around to make the decisions I make when it comes to my life. I've never felt that I've had a firm grasp over it and because of it I've developed this twisted complex around other people. I should start loving and empathizing with other people and seeing them as thinking and breathing human beings with their own independent thoughts and not as some type of artificial intelligence.

It is true though that I do feel childish when I choose to interact with other people in this manner. Maybe if I stopped, I'd find someone that I really respect and to engage in a real relationship with them. Maybe that's my true ending.

 

[Lore]

A book can't teach you to be a person, who would have guessed

B-but Atlas Shrugged has all the answers!

 

[Holder of the Heel]

Mm, I spoke too soon. I mustn't be so presumptuous. My apologies Acrostic.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Mm, I spoke too soon. I mustn't be so presumptuous. My apologies Acrostic.

It's alright. Sometimes there is humor to be found in a misunderstanding.

 

[Jam Stunna]

The thing about the "friend zone" is that it isn't created by the person who has rejected a romantic advance; it's created by the person who's advance was rejected. It's an ex post facto attempt to justify failure, which (in the case of men) gets warped with a bunch of misogynistic BS. Basically, if either of these are true for you:

1) You became friends with a woman to get in her pants
2) You've remained friends with a woman to get in her pants

then you're trying to manipulate that person, and you fall into what Livvers described- someone who uses kindness towards their own ends. You are not actually that person's friend, you're just putting kindness coins into that person and hoping they give you a prize eventually.

It's also worth noting that the friend zone is an almost exclusively male construction. Everyone experiences unrequited love at some point, but only men call this state the friend zone, as if they're just hanging around outside of a location until they can get in. This essay does a pretty good job of explaining all the sexist assumptions that accompany the male friend zone. If your reaction is tl;dr, then at least read this excerpt:

Wrong. Genuinely, inextricably and absolutely wrong, on every level. Nothing a man did, does or could ever do inherently obligates a woman into entering a romantic or sexual relationship with him; in fact, there’s literally nothing that inherently obligates anyone to a relationship or sex. It doesn’t matter how many times they get you home safely or take care of you while you’re sick; you don’t owe them anything short of returning a similar favor, and you shouldn’t have to owe them anything for their decision to be a decent human being.

If you're truly someone's friend, then you care about them for their sake, not your own.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Who knew the friend zone was an observation someone comes to make a posteriori to missing out on getting intimate with that posterior.

 

[Jam Stunna]

I'll be the only one using Latin in this thread, thank you very much.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

I'll be the only one using Latin in this thread, thank you very much.

Mmm that's fine. When it comes to romance, It's all Greek to me.

If you want to be intimate with the dead then go ahead. It may be because I signed my dead body off to science that I don't hold it against you.

 

[Dodongo]

I wasn't trying to single you out or anything (especially if you were joking).

I just started reading this topic recently, and it's unbelievable how many posts are from dudes with really monochrome, objectifying views on women, or partners in general. I quoted yours as the most recent example of what some of those look like.

 

[Teran]

I wish more girls would come out and set the record straight though, I think women are just way more afraid of seeming shallow than men,.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

I wasn't trying to single you out or anything (especially if you were joking).

I just started reading this topic recently, and it's unbelievable how many posts are from dudes with really monochrome, objectifying views on women, or partners in general. I quoted yours as the most recent example of what some of those look like.

You have great insight. My avatar can be viewed as really being monochrome.