Social Social Thread 4.1™-Rockets, Spiders, Drums, Arms, Wings, Lightning, Marsupials and OP form a circle

[Substitution]

You know, I've always had this theory that the reason they do this is that the older games do not become obsolete (for the most part).

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

No one is allowed to insult Hoenn when I am around.

Hoenn is boring.
Boom

but if you like it that is cool too

 

[Soul.]

Really?

I should start watching some of those at some point.

Yep. Customs are good for the game.

Inb4 multi hit moves get an accuracy buff and changed to have 3 hits be guaranteed because reasons.

inb4:
- Lucario gets Mega Launcher instead of Justified
- Azumarill gets 60 base Attack
- Greninja loses Protean
- Sinnoh starters get Mega Evolutions
- Sylveon loses Pixilate

 

[Rysir]

Yep. Customs are good for the game.


inb4:
- Lucario gets Mega Launcher instead of Justified
- Azumarill gets 60 base Attack
- Greninja loses Protean
- Sinnoh starters get Mega Evolutions
- Sylveon loses Pixilate

Id be okay with this except loss of pixilate, Hyper beam sylveon is hilarious.

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

Sinnoh is best region because not too much water

Jokes aside, that region is more enjoyable because its music and the adventure sensation it gives

AND for the fact you dont have to freaking surf everywhere. I swear, there was so much water, you would have to use surf to get you your moms room in your own house.

 

[Mythra]

I just battled a Secret Base Trainer with M-Banette using Substitute, a Scarfed Chandelure and a Bulky Trevenant with Sub and Will-O-Wisp, all of the in Level 100

This keeps getting better

 

[Rysir]

I just battled a Secret Base Trainer with M-Banette using Substitute, a Scarfed Chandelure and a Bulky Trevenant with Sub and Will-O-Wisp, all of the in Level 100

This keeps getting better

I found a secret base trainer with level 100 Sableye, Blissey and Gliscor, soooo much easy exp.

 

[FalKoopa]

Hoenn is boring.
Boom

but if you like it that is cool too

I do like it as it was the game that I started on. I've spent a hell lot of time in Emerald.

 

[Mythra]

AND for the fact you dont have to freaking surf everywhere. I swear, there was so much water, you would have to use surf to get you your moms room in your own house.

Venice confirmed as player's hometown

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Venice confirmed as player's hometown

"Too much water" - IGN 7/10

 

[Sehnsucht]

“It was the best of sets, it was the worst of sets, it was the age of win, it was the age of salt, it was the epoch of consoles, it was the epoch of portables, it was the season of reads, it was the season of whiffs, it was the spring of smack talk, it was the winter of johns, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Apex, we were all going Nintendo Direct the other way—in short, the forum was so far like the present forum, that some of its noisiest moderators insisted on its being received, For Fun or For Glory, in the superlative degree of final destination only.”

—Chapter 1: The Forum, from A Tale of Two Mains ​

Today marks the first anniversary (Feb. 9th) of my joining of this site. And because it is I, Sehnsucht, who takes no half-measures in love nor in war, I am making an overblown post to commemorate the occasion.

To that end, we slide the disc into the slot, witness the opening cinematic, and navigate to the Character Select Screen, where the virtual roster of my time here presents itself:

[collapse=Super Sehnsucht Bros.]
@Bae Bruiser toying with my tender heart;
@BoogPikminose when no one is looking;
@Captivating Hotcakefarts are my fetish;
@Chucklehead Timon and Pumbaa, hakuna matata;
@Crazy Alouette gentille alouette sous le pont d’Avignon tête à claques;
@Criminally Smothering, death by electric sybian;
@ FalKoopa , it’s new delhicious;
@ Ffamran wgah’nagl fhtagn;
@GtGloverturok, big fan of the biggest gaming icons;
@Hockeyriots in urban Xanadu;
@Hongry Hongry Hippo, he’s in an eating race;
@HypoFalcon is more of a frogmouth, really;
@ JamesDNaux , LennyFace;
@Kermit the Magical Girl: The Power of Friendship with Benefits!
Grape Drank @Libations for Dionysus erryday;
@MagicTheGathering is for nerds, so you shouldn’t play it;
@maimgrim gutsbrood anomievil darknesspickle;
@MaskO’Get Down With The Sickness, ooo wah-ah-ah-ah;
@MasterofAllTrades, jack of none;
@Mega Bidet for a proper cleanse;
@Megatron, leader of the Decepticons;
@ Substitution slotting quarters for glass pane stripteases;
@Moon Hankey Pankey, his nanner in your stankey;
@A MorbidPriapism you be giving me, gurl;
@Naked, oh me oh my;
@ Opossum , I mean you just can’t win with this guy;
@Pooncack is wack in the sack;
@PseudoIncarnate, not quite all there;
@A Quaint Rehearsal for a burlesque show;
@ CatRaccoonBL is off the charts;
@Radical Bimbo, the ditziest of swaggies;
The Robbit, or @There And Backgammon;
@Skaaaaapadaba doobiblidibiblibap doodeeoodabap bablblbepblblbepblblbep dom dededodo;
@I’m a Scatman! Skibidibidi yom dododo, yom dododo;
Me, @ Sehnsucht !
@Sucumbrother from another mother’s other mother;
@Swampaswooty, he’s coming for the booty;
@TewnZelder, even though it’s supposed to be Metrood;
@This Guy got away with IRL manslaughter;
@Tsundere bakabaka desudesu rerorero;
Some @Winetropy with your cheesemmetry?
@Wreck-It Ralph;
@Ridley
[/collapse]

Everyone else is an Assist Trophy. Those who don’t regularly frequent the SSB4 boards are stickers. First person to complain is the Sandbag. Party Phil DLC coming this fall.

12 months sure have elapsed. Roster speculation, POTD lollygagging, Nintendo Direct livestreaming, E3 spectating, waffling over leaks, Social Thread gallivanting, IP address stalking and webcam hacking, and gameplay watching. Not to mention the foundation of my writing group, whose dearth of activity continues to wound me you guys.

The only thing left for me to do is to get my hands on Smash 4 and actually start playing and contributing something of value to the site. Stay classy, Sehnsucht.

Lastly, because I can, here’s the unfinished Part 3 of The Weaving of the Thread, which I have laying around on the hard drive. Enjoy this hearty dollop of long-since expired tofu, chumps:

[COLLAPSE=TWOTT PART III]
The New Generica Market was a sight to behold. Shame this isn’t a visual medium, or you’d have been in for a treat. I guess you’ll have to make due with your stunted imaginations.

Upon descending the great rock where sat the Asylum of the Banned, the Bandwagoners made their misbegotten way to the Market, located on the North-By-Northwest Side (represent). The streets cut through the district like spokes of a wheel, and there, many shops, stands, and kiosks were arranged. Signs and panels extravagant and humble alike clustered to building facades like so many barnacles, and the streets were bustling at this early hour of the night.

“Let’s get going, then,” said Cliff, pushing up his glasses.

At the outer rim of the Market, many a vendor called out to them as they passed, displaying their generic wares (for New Generica was a major center of the Indistinct Goods industry, drawing peddlers of the forgettable from all corners). Larger stores cropped up as they wandered further into the district. There was Golden Yuniidtusiturassdown, a so-called “correctional massage parlour” where one went to be disabused of their misguided notions. Nearby, Scat Man’s World advertised itself as the one-stop shop for all of your scat-related needs. Before a Peacock Emporium (one of the many they passed) flashed signs promoting the latest deals (8 Bucks For 8 Peacocks! Buy Now And We’ll Throw In A Pheasant!).

Along the way, they came across purveyors of foodstuffs. Their sojourn to and from the Asylum had left them wanting for nourishment, so the sirensongs of the vendors were more entrancing than they otherwise would have been.

Bidoof bought some nuts and berries, only to chuck them at the mouth of his costumed head, causing them to fall uselessly on the ground. Kermit expressed interest in the contents of a barrel, which was too tall for Kermit to peer inside. Tewn, for his own amusement, got him a bag of the stuff. He suppressed a grin as Kermit unknowingly slid anchovy after pickled anchovy into his mouth flap (though Tewn was one to laugh, having bought kebabs which actually contained leenk).

Cliff partook of nothing, for being a critical and informed consumer, he was decidedly unimpressed with the options available to him. Conversely, Nielicus gradually assembled a veritable smorgasbord—alpaca jerky, salted cud, dàt phud thô. After a swig of Diet Beetus, Nielicus offered some of his grub to Vegito, but the latter declined; he wanted to be the very best that no one ever was (), so he preferred to eat healthily. As such, he continued to munch on his homemade Veggie Skittles—bits of dried broccoli, Brussels sprout, squash, turnip, and eggplant lacquered in Vegemite.

The Market was a difficult place to navigate, with concentric rings and crisscrossing lanes. The Bandwagoners assembled around a bench in the general Market Square, looking to gain their bearings.

“You know,” said Mega Bidoof, “it might have been useful if that Slapaswami guy had told us where this place is supposed to be.”

“Oh, hey!” exclaimed Vegito. “I have my laptop with me. I can look it up.”

He unslung his backpack and extracted his laptop.

“A PLATINUM7,” noted Tewn. “Nice.”

They gathered around Vegito like children of lesser privilege hovering around the kid with a Gameboy at recess. Vegito accessed Bing—the preeminent search engine, and let no one tell you otherwise—and typed in Kapnkrust and Totserbine.

Did you mean Cap’nChreest & ToasterBrains?

The first page in the search results brought them to a ****ty Web 1.0 homepage. Vegito squinted to make sense of the cancerous colour scheme.

THE CAP’NCHREEST AND TOASTERBRAINS ARMORY
FOR WEAPONS, EQUIPMENT, GEAR, ITEMS, AND LOOT (+MINIGAMES!)
VISIT US TODAY AT NEW GENERICA, JUST ACROSS FROM THE BENCH IN THE MARKET SQUARE!​

The Bandwagoners looked up from where they sat. And indeed, the towering building before them was labelled clearly as the Cap’nChreest and ToasterBrains Armory, the name flashing in oversized neon lights.

“Well, would you look at that,” said Nielicus, ingesting the last of his paninininini.

Vegito closed the browser, and Kermit peered closer. “Hey, Vegito. What’s in that folder there? Blue-Footed Boo—”

In a flash, Vegito slammed his laptop shut. “—Nothing!”

Kermit blinked, then slid off the bench. Vegito breathed out in relief, glad that his secret kinks would remain secret, at least for now.

After the Bandwagoners had entered the Armory, however, the people in the Market Square finally let out their repressed chuckles and snickers, and proceeded to disseminate Vegito’s embarrassing truth on social media platforms.

***************************************************************************************​

“By Zoroaster,” uttered an awed Mega Bidoof.

The Bandwagoners gawked at the inner hall of the Armory. A great vaulted ceiling of stone stood high overhead, and there were a few floors stacked one atop the other, their balconies encircling the open space. The ground floor was lined with numerous shelves, bins, and stands. It was like a library with everything but books (though there were books anyway).

A booming sound caught them off guard. From the far end of the Armory flew two individuals, soaring across the air, and who came crashing before the Bandwagoners with a roll. The two then shot up from their somersault and held out their arms, striking a pose as a light drizzle of confetti fell from above. The Bandwagoners applauded and nodded amongst themselves.

“Welcome to the Cap’nChreest and ToasterBrains Armory!” said the taller of the two as he bowed. “I’m the Cap’n, but you can call me Chreest! And this here’s my partner, ToasterBrains.”

“How do ya do?” said ToasterBrains in his gravelly voice, who also bowed. “Call me Toasta.”

The proprietors of the Armory were very eccentric in appearance. Chreest had an oblong head, a prominent, bulbous nose, and a long chin with a burgundy goatee. He wore clownish makeup—red lips, blue stripes over his wide eyes. Atop his head was a red cap like a minaret, and blue triangular earrings hung on his ears. His green, diamond-pattern shirt was a strip over his chest, exposing his rotund belly, and with the sleeves halting at the elbow in large ballooning cuffs. His orange polka-dot pants flared at the thighs, tapering at the heel to give way to his purple sandals.

Despite his shorter stature, Toasta complimented his partner’s aesthetic sensibilities. Dark blue eyeliner encircled his eyes, and his lips were painted azure. His cheeks were round, slagging into jowls, and he had a pencil moustache of two curving lines. His cap was green, point tilting to the side. His shirt, diamond-patterned, was in pinks, tied at the chest to expose his own portly midriff; a Banzai Bill was sutured into his right sleeve. He wore denim jeans, broken hearts sown at the knees, and like Chreest, also wore sandals, which were of a more modest brown.

They were as complementary in temperament as they were in vestment. Chreest had a perennial grin on his face, standing erect and jovial, whereas Toasta seemed the more reserved of the duo, though still amicable in his own right.

“So, what can we do for ya today?” asked Toasta, hands in his pockets.

“Well,” said Cliff, “we’re looking fo—”

“—We’re the Bandwagoners, and we need weapons to defeat the evil Sehnsucht!” Vegito interjected with verve.

Cliff muttered under his breath in annoyed animuh. Toasta and the Cap’n exchanged concerned glances that just as soon veered opportunistic.

“You’re going to the Needle?” the Cap’n said in his soft drawl. “Oh, my. Sounds dangerous.”

“But the Armory is just the place to for all your swashbucklin’ needs!” said Toasta. “If you needs it, we gots it!”

“Why don’t you take over, Toasta?” Chreest suggested. “I’ll go handle things elsewhere.”

With that, the Cap’n trotted gaily down the way, leaving them with the humble Toasta.

“Now, if you band of wagoners will follow me.”

They proceeded forward, listening to Toasta’s informative narration as they navigated the shelves and aisles. A mother and her two vivacious children passed by with a shopping cart filled to the brim with morning stars. “This is the ground floor, for general, low-level wares,” their host began. “Accessible, easy to use. The floors above you have more specialized purposes. Second Floor is for weaponry offensive and defensive, Third Floor is armour and accouterments. Fourth Floor is for spellbooks, tomes, and arcane paraphernalia. And the Fifth Floor is for rare and obscure items, not for the weak of heart or wallet. To move around Floors, you’ll needs to use one of these.”

A large Cannon was plonked on the outer rim of the ground floor, framed by the columns of the balcony above. Vegito craned up his head to see someone careen between the floors above.

“Why do you have Cannons?” asked Tewn. “Couldn’t you have, I dunno, installed escalators or something? Lel.”

“I see we haves ourselves a volunteer,” grinned Toasta, slightly peeved by this saucy whippersnapper. He gestured grandiosely at the Cannon, ushering Tewn along. “Step right on in.”

TewnLeenk looked back at the Bandwagoners, and sighed. He awkwardly climbed into the Cannon’s barrel, then set himself in position, green-capped head poking out the top.

“So… is this thing going to go, or whaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaagoddammitaaaaaaa…”

Their collective heads traced Tewn’s parabolic arc up to the Second Floor balcony. Then, one after the other, the Bandwagoners followed suit. Vegito was the third to go, after Kermit. So small was the blobfishinobi that he had trouble getting inside. But the Cannon was on a delay, so by the time Kermit slipped inside, he was shot out facing the wrong way.

Following his comrade, Vegito sheathed himself in the barrel, anticipating the coming expulsion. By the time Vegito realized he had been expelled, he was already in flight, seeing the mandala-like arrangement of aisles zipping below. Then he collided into a shock-absorbing pad affixed to the landing area colonnade, falling on a more solid pad below, beside which stood Tewn and Kermit.

Nielicus, Cliff, and Bidoof made their way to the landing pad. ToasterBrains came last, landing with finesse.

“How do we get back down?” asked Cliff.

“You have Ascending and Descending Cannons clearly labelled throughout the Armory. Shouldn’t be any trouble. At each Cannon, there’s a pneumatic chute for carts and basketses. Just toss ‘em in there, and WAZZAM, off they go to your destination landing zone. Also, because the Armory is large, there are several checkout stations scattered all over the place, so that you can purchase your items as you go along. Last thing. See those diamond-looking things floating around?” The gang looked up at the holographic orthogonal diamonds hovering in the open space of the Armory. “On the Fifth Floor, there’s a minigame. You take one of them chickens by the legs and float all the way down to ground level, trying to steer your way through the diamonds. You can redeem prizes based on your total score.”

“That’s a weird-sounding game,” said Nielicus.

“It was Chreest’s idea. I’m just the Cannon guy.” Toasta cleared his throat. “Anyway, that’ll be all from me. If you have any questions, use the checkout stations, or ask myself or Chreest if you bump into one of us. Ciao.”

As before, confetti ex nihilo showered Toasta, and he veered in the opposite direction, leaving the Bandwagoners to their devices.

“So how do we do this?” asked Tewn.

“Vegito spoke with Chucklehead Tom,” noted Cliff. He turned to the Bandwagoner in question. “Did he give you any useful information about Sehnsucht?”

They all turned to him, and Vegito felt uneasy at being put on the spot. “Well…uh, nothing specific. He just said that Sehnsucht is very powerful, and that we should prepare ourselves for anything.”

“Okay, then,” said Nielicus. “How about we work our way up Floor by Floor, gearing up more and more as we go?”

“What an uncharacteristically sound suggestion,” said Cliff, mildly impressed.

“I have my moment,” Nielicus replied with a proud smirk.

And so, the sextet splintered, dispersing throughout the Second Floor, and agreeing to meet up at the Ascending Third Floor Cannon when they’d found what they were looking for. Just as Toasta had said, the Second Floor contained all manner of weapons. Swords, maces, pikes; pistols, rifles, grenades; tasers and bows, shields and silverware. Vegito, green and yet to blooded, was overwhelmed by the enormity of choices available to him.

What would work against something like Sehnsucht? Should he invest in something really durable and resilient, like a Razor-Blade Swiffer or Honey Badger Mitts? Would it instead be wiser to invest in different kinds of weaponry, to account for any situation that might arise at the Needle?

And what about the others? He wondered if they should have worked out specialized role within their party, like in all those classic Kazakh Role-Playing Games (or KRPGs, for short). Yet not only was everyone off exploring the nooks and crannies of the Armory Second Floor, but Vegito wasn’t sure what role he had the aptitude to occupy.

In the Intimidation Wing, he found Kermit, his diminutive fishy self appraising the elaborate but impractical blades on display.

“Have you found anything, yet?” asked Vegito.

“I won’t be purchasing anything this night,” said Kermit. “I must only use what I have at my disposal. It is the blobfishinobi way. I have my ninjato, my shurikens, my kunai, and my tanto. Nothing more.”

“Oh. Well, any advice on how to pick the right weapon?”

“You don’t choose the weapon. It chooses you. You will know it when you see it.”

“Wow, Kermit. You’re a pretty wise dude.”

At this, Kermit’s lips flapped in humid raspberry, as was the periodic involuntary reflex of anthropomorphic blobfishies.

Vegito and Kermit went to the Ascending Cannon for the Third Floor, having acquired nothing from the Second. Bidoof had made no purchases either—by way of explanation, he said he was a Tamagotchi, and left it at that. Cliff had bought a hefty glaive alongside a bottle of mace (a sensible thing to have on your person, he said), while Tewn carried a slingshot and a satchel of ammo. Nielicus had **** All. That’s what it was called. **** All. It was kind of difficult to describe.

As the latter three shoved their **** in the ascendant pneumatic tube, Vegito entered the Cannon, and once more careened skyward with sickening acceleration. The remainder followed.

The Third Floor provided more enticing stock for the Bandwagoners. Vegito may not have much knowledge in matters of offense, but he had an intuitive idea of how to go about protecting himself. Yet he wasn’t the richest among them—his allowance only amounted to so much—so he adopted a thrifty mindset. He nabbed some kneepads, elbowpads, and a jockstrap. He was going to get a helmet as well, but Mega Bidoof counselled against it; wearing a helmet can reduce your visibility, Bidoof explained with his muffled voice.

Cliff was waiting at the Ascending Cannon for the Fourth Floor, wearing a new utility belt, gloves, and a strap for his glaive. Kermit and Bidoof once more passed on what the Floor had to offer. As did TewnLeenk, curiously—for as it turned out, the Back Room way forbade all obstruction and concealment of his green garb. As for Nielicus, he had found some white pants and a sequin vest. Vegito thought this to be highly lulz, until Nielicus revealed that the sequins were made of sturdy schwa.

Upon reaching the Fourth Floor, the Bandwagoners realizes they were wholly out of their element. The spines of arcane tomes lined the shelves bearing languages known and forgotten, teasing the principles and application of alchemy, divination, fancymancy. Further in, an open-concept apothecary yielded powders and potions and pastes. The Cap’n happened to pass by, then; he held a large iron cauldron before him, gripping it by the rim. It must have been terribly heavy, but if it was, Chreest didn’t seem to notice.

“How are y’all doing?” he hollered, swaying as he ferried his hefty charge.

Cliff approached and discussed something in animuh. It expired that Cliff could tell that it was Chreest’s mother tongue, and they had a brief exchange, a tidal ebb and flow of staccatoed sentences, until Chreest departed on his dainty way. At the Cap’n’s advice, Cliff purchased some basic potions, vials for energy and healing, and allotted the Bandwagoners a couple each.

Pressing on, they then found familiars and mounts in a zoo-like wing. The cheapest ones were already steep in price, and the ranges grew as they found the more powerful and exotic creatures. The gang didn’t see how war giraffes and armoured binturongs and axolotls flung by atlatls could survive the perilous Needle, so they passed the pens by. Yet near the end of the wing, Tewn fell behind as he stopped to gaze at a particularly ungodly creature.

“Oh, ****. It’s a R.O.B.!”

“A what?” asked Vegito, halting as well. The creature in the pen was ****ing disgusting, and radiated a smell most stronk.

“Reeking Of Ballsweat. Indigenous to Chicago. But they’re endangered, so they’re pretty rare nowadays. They’re hella tuff, tho.”

Tewn ventured to the nearby checkout counter, placing an order for the R.O.B. Vegito peered over the Back Roomer’s shoulder, and gawked at the exorbitant sum that Tewn promptly paid.

“How’d you get so rich?” asked an incredulous Vegito without tact.

Tewn leaned over, speaking in a conspiratorial tone. “There’s a lot of money to me made in cutting grass if you know what I’m sayin’.”

And Vegito did indeed know what he was sayin’, for he too was no stranger to mowing those lawns.

The checkout counter coughed up a receipt, as well as small medallion or badge, which let R.O.B. know who his new master was. His pen opened, and Tewn led him along, R.O.B.’s knuckles dragging on the floor—as did his nads, which left a slick trail of his namesake in his wake.

With the Fourth Floor covered, the Bandwagoners ascended to the apex of the Armory. Despair began to hound at Vegito, much as Reeking of Ballsweat hounded the others with his funk. All he had to show for four entire floors were protective pads and a couple of potions. Every one else had weapons and armour and gadgets, and he had nothing. He lacked the self-awareness for self-psychoanalysis, so he couldn’t productively channel this need for the perfect weapon. He could only let this naive perfectionism guide him forward, wherever it led.

It led him away from the group, becoming further isolated in the museum-like layout of the Fifth Floor, rare items on display behind glass cases, until he saw it.

The majestic blade was illuminated by a singular divine beam of light, held upright in its case by a stand. It was a curious thing. Was it actually a sword? It was made of some red material, and was blunt. It had no proper hilt; between the handle and the blade were two circles, a figure-eight at right angles to the axis of the shaft. Vegito read the inscription on the brass plaque.

ITEM #3048270
“MONARDO”​

“Ya like what ya see?”

A spooked Vegito pivoted to see ToasterBrains looking at the Monardo, hands entrenched in his jean pockets.

“What is it?” asked the former.

“Hard to say. The Fifth Floor is a repository for all manner of obscure relics, with mysterious origins and natures. Looks like a sword, though. And if it doesn’t cut, you can most certainly whack a fella or two with it. You interested in buyin’?”

Vegito remembered Kermit’s words on the Second Floor, about how he’d know the right weapon when he saw it. Felt like some time since that exchange happened—probably because this chapter is getting long as hell, and we’re only partway through.

It was clear, though, that this was what he’d been waiting for. The Monardo called to him; he was getting a bigger hard-on for it than he ever did for Hastune Miku, which was quite the feat.

“How much for it?” asked Vegito.

“Fifth Floor items are special, in that they’re price is negotiable. They’re hard to price, you see. In fact, many probably are priceless. You think you can afford this thing?”

Vegito considered the measly amount remaining in his account. Toasta saw the boy’s face fall, and himself sighed. “Well, kid, as much as I’d love to give this away, business comes first. Keep lookin’ around. Maybe you’ll find somethin’.”

Toasta nodded sagely and retired from the scene in his hunched trot, but was stopped by Vegito.

“Wait! The Moderator who hired us said he’d give me 5000 Likes if I defeat Sehnsucht and come back alive by tomorrow. Can I borrow the Monardo and pay you back when I complete the mission?”

Toasta pensively prodded his left jowl. “What happens if you fail to complete this mission?”

“I’ll probably be killed. Or worse. Either I’m coming out of the Needle, or I’m not coming out at all.”

“I sees. Well, all items in the Armory can’t technically leave the building until payment is received. If you have some kind of collateral, I can use that as a down payment, which will allow me to temporarily bypass the system.”

It occurred to Vegito that he had the perfect thing. He unslung his backpack and brought out his laptop.

“A PLATINUM7,” said Toasta. “Nice.” The man took the laptop and felt its weight. “This will do nicely. I’ve been slacking on my Farmville. If you throw in the backpack, you’ll buy twenty-four hours with the Monardo. If you can’t return to the Armory with the Monardo and the agreed 5000 Likes within that period, then the Capn’Chreest and ToasterBrains Armory reserves the right to dismantle and tarnish your legacy and the legacies of your celebrity crushes. You got all that?”

Vegito kind of followed along, and so henodded. From betwixt his fingers, Toasta produced a document which he made Vegito sign, thus cementing their business arrangement. That done, Toasta unhooked the rope barrier, used a key to unlock the case, and extracted the Monardo, which he presented to Vegito.

“It’s all yours,” said Toasta.

Vegito grabbed the Monardo by the handle. Despite it’s size, it was deceptively light. It felt more right than wearing longjohns.

“Thanks, Toasta!” the boy exclaimed, feeling triumphant. Toasta made a slight bow, prompting a question from Vegito. “Hey, by the way, what’s with the name? Never met someone called ToasterBrains before.”

The Armory’s co-proprietor shrugged. “Who knows? We don’t choose our names, kid. And if you ask me,” he added, “we’re better off that way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Could you imagine if we were given the chance of choosing our own names? We’d all pick stupid ****ing awful ones!”

Before they left, Toasta gave Vegito the magnetic pad for the Monardo. It strapped onto his back, allowing Vegito to put the Monardo away when needed. The two then made their way to the Descending Cannon for the Fourth Floor, where the others were waiting. Upon seeing Vegito with his newfound Monardo, whistles and ooh-aahing ensued, and Vegito unsheathed the blade to show it off.

“Nice!” blurted Nielicus. “I found something up here, too. Check out this rubber chicken!”

Nielicus swung it in a horizontal arc, only for it to be stopped by a hand; the impact made a thunderous slap, and an aftershock of displaced air washed over them. The Cap’n, still holding the chicken by the head, pointed to an overhead sign with his free hand.

DO NOT USE ITEMS UNLESS WITHIN TESTING GROUND
THANK YOU​

Nielicus cringed in embarrassment, and Chreest unclenched the weapon.

“There’s a testing ground?” said Cliff.

“Sure is!” confirmed the Cap’n. “You can test out your items there. For a fee, of course.”

“Sounds gnarly,” Bidoof stated. “I think we could use a little warm-up before we head for the Needle.”

“Okay!” said Vegito. “Let’s do it!”

“Does this mean we have to all the way back down with the Cannons?” inquired a concerned Tewn.

“You can, if you want,” began Chreest, a smile creeping upon his red lips. “But there is a faster way.”

“What might that be?” asked Kermit.

The next thing they knew, the Bandwagoners had leapt from the precipice of the Fifth Floor, holding onto the ankles of flapping chickens whom they tried desperately to steer and nudge them toward the hole that had opened like a camera iris at the heart of the Armory ground floor.

***************************************************************************************​

Interlude by PsychoIncarnate​

Hey. It’s me, again. PsychoIncarnate. Yippee.

I know I’m totally disrupting the flow of this narrative, but I thought I’d slide in a little update before things get too heated. Things move fast in The Weaving of the Thread, so it’s easy for my obviously important thoughts to get lost in the hummus of it all.

So, here’s the thing. I have a dilemma on my hands. I found some sweet TWOTT merch on Kijiji, but I can’t decide which to get.

On the one hand, you have a Vegito figure with his Monardo, but it’ll cost me a kidney. On the other, you have a Sehnsucht figure with all the joints and articulations, but it’ll cost me my right arm and right leg.

They’re both very valuable, limited edition collector’s items, their designs taken straight from Act VI. I can’t get both figures, because I already wallow in misery enough as it is being a heteronormative Caucasian-American who hates being uncomfortable in any way. Having only one kidney would be a drag, but having half your limbs missing would also be a drag. Yet lacking all three would be even more of a drag.

But it’s also clear that I can’t NOT get one of them. That would be pretty idiotic, lol.

So I have to weigh my options. Do I want to be forced to radically change my diet and urinate much more often? Or do I want to cripple my mobility and physical autonomy, losing my dominant arm and leg?

Decisions, decisions. I’ll chime in later to let you know how I proceed.

Don’t let the suspense ruin your enjoyment of the rest of TWOTT, by the way. Not that there’s much to look forward to. This story kind of ends up going nowhere. No pay-off, no catharsis, and a conclusion that is neither satisfactory nor earned.

I loved every second of it.

I guess I’ll leave you to it, then. I’m kind of getting tired of having to actually address people directly, anyway.

***************************************************************************************​

[/COLLAPSE]

May the coming year be a bountiful one for yours truly. To set the tone of the next dozen months, here's my actual theme song and my actual theme song.

You are all very sad.

 

[Deleted member]

Yep. Customs are good for the game.

I think the only custom move I'd use on Dedede would be Dedede Storm. Don't know if I'll ever have other main(s) so yep.

 

[Soul.]

I think the only custom move I'd use on Dedede would be Dedede Storm. Don't know if I'll ever have other main(s) so yep.

Taste Test is also good.
Rising Dedede is okay.
Armored Jet Hammer is also okay I guess.

 

[Deleted member]

Taste Test is also good.
Rising Dedede is okay.
Armored Jet Hammer is also okay I guess.

I see. I guess I'll have to try out all of them to decide.

 

[KingofPhantoms]

Sinnoh introduced Luxray, yes?

Therefore it is best region automatically. No eggceptions.

 

[CatRaccoonBL]

Bah, never liked sinnoh. The region doesn't have anything interesting for me to care about, the battle system is also slow.

The pokemon are also a lot more uninteresting until a decent chunk into the game then usual for me. Usually I can find a pokemon I want to use soon, but it takes me a while to start caring.

I only beat diamond once, and I barely make any progress in Platinum. The spin off games were fun though.

 

[JamesDNaux]

Sinnoh introduced Luxray, yes?

Therefore it is best region automatically. No eggceptions.

Gen 6 master race because Goodra.

It's opinion which is internet speak for fact.

 

[Rysir]

Sinnoh introduced Luxray, yes?

Therefore it is best region automatically. No eggceptions.

Sinnoh also introduced Lucario so it auto wins anyway.

 

[KingofPhantoms]

Gen 6 master race because Goodra.

It's opinion which is internet speak for fact.

Well my opinion is that Sinnoh is best region because Luxray.

Face them facts good.

Sinnoh also introduced Lucario so it auto wins anyway.

See? This guy right here knows what he's talking about!

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

Bah, never liked sinnoh. The region doesn't have anything interesting for me to care about, the battle system is also slow.

The pokemon are also a lot more uninteresting until a decent chunk into the game then usual for me. Usually I can find a pokemon I want to use soon, but it takes me a while to start caring.

I could say the same about me and hoenn, even if I started with those games, I hate its guts. its like... the Pokemon were eh, the music was eh, everything was so eh to me

 

[Mythra]

Sinnoh is best region because Dawn YOU CAN TRAVEL TO ANOTHER DIMENSIOOOOOON
[GIRATINA INTENSIFIES]

 

[Ffamran]

@ Ffamran wgah’nagl fhtagn;

WTF? Since when did I worship and serve Cthulhu? *remembers he became a mod* ... Damn it! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO FILL MY (DARK) SOUL WITH LIIIIIIIIIGHT! I SHOULD HAVE STEELED MY SOUL FOR A SECOND CHANCE! NOW I'LL NEVER BECOME A MAN!

Oh well, time to continue my duties as DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24 1/2TH CENTURY! *rams a vehicle behind him*

Whoops! Had the silly thing in reverse. *commits hit and run by flying away and not waiting for the cops or calling them*

 

[Illuminati]

Where did he go? Somehow he managed to slip passed our guards...

 

[Rysir]

Sinnoh is best region because Dawn YOU CAN TRAVEL TO ANOTHER DIMENSIOOOOOON
[GIRATINA INTENSIFIES]

Best region because the age of THE AURA began.

 

[Deleted member]

Best region because the age of THE AURA began.

And the music too. Don't forget the music.

 

[Soul.]

Well hello there.

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

I will now call us going crazy over Sinnoh a Sinnorgasm

 

[aldelaro5]

@ aldelaro5
This is some craftmanship right 'ere.

Not made of Paper tho

First, I just want to tell you something silly.

I was streaming TTYD so, I only knew because someone linked me to this in my chat (thanks @Paper Maribro ), but by the time he linked that, I was tagged here, got 2 pm for this, had 2 skype group linking this....

so yeah, when I got on and saw that I got tagged....I knew it was it

Anyway, my takes?

They are gorgoeus, but the only gripe I have is the low brightness, It feels more pm64 to me....and the artwork are from TTYD. Though, if you have a light....it might fix it somehow....

Still, the shape and outlines are gorgeous....

but because it is a modified one....I won't buy it. The day a REAL one release....than I might look at my wallet.

 

[JamesDNaux]

Sinnoh is best region because Dawn

I no, now I'm conflicted.

On one hand, my favorite Pokemon.

Then my favorite Pokemon protagonist.

 

[Rysir]

The Lucario hyping is real in the sinnoh games though. Seriously, Gym leader's signature pokemon, signature pokemon of the unique trainer who also gives you a riolu egg and a part of the Champion's team.

 

[Opossum]

I'm...back, guys.

Shaken, but back.



Seen some things, man...

 

[The Stoopid Unikorn]

Where did he go? Somehow he managed to slip passed our guards...

I see you've missed me!

Oh right, you didn't even notice I infiltrated your base to free @ Opossum

 

[Deleted member]

Well hello there.

After 4 long years, MK7 is finally recieving the MKWii treatment. Dis gon b gud.

 

[Mythra]

I no, now I'm conflicted.

On one hand, my favorite Pokemon.

Then my favorite Pokemon protagonist.

Dawn is boss because she can walk up the Routes 216, and 217 without giving a damn about the blizzard

 

[Deleted member]

Dawn is boss because she can walk up the Routes 216, and 217 without giving a damn about the blizzard

Long live Sinnoh even though I am not into Pokémon that much!!!11oon1onoenoneoneone

 

[Arcanir]

And that they KEEP customization.
It would be funny if they took it out in ORAS but then added it back to the Shinnoh remakes

Yeah, customization should come back too, that was also an odd decision on their part.

Having said that, if they hold to the same reason ORAS didn't get it, Sinnoh remakes probably wouldn't either.

Best region because the age of THE AURA began.

Go to bed, Lucario.

Dawn is boss because she can walk up the Routes 216, and 217 without giving a damn about the blizzard

Pft, Red trained in a blizzard, Ethan/Kris battled him in a blizzard, and Hilda walked through a Cold Storage and Twist Mountain in those short shorts, Dawn ain't got nothing on them.

 

[Opossum]

Now that that's over, region opinions time go!

Hmm...

Hoenn>Sinnoh>Kanto=Unova>Kalos=Johto

As far as the regions. Hoenn and Sinnoh are my favorites. Hoenn was the first one I fully played, Sinnoh reminds me the most of home (**** ton of mountains, snow, and add in the fact that PA is the Keystone State and has a Route 209, Spiritomb hits close to home). Kanto is nice, but kinda middle-of-the-road. Unova I really liked, despite its linearity. As regions, Johto and Kalos are a bit meh, since I feel they could have been fleshed out more (despite the fact that some of my favorite Pokemon come from the second and sixth gen).

Development of characters is another thing I look for, which RSE (especially ORAS) and DPP have lots of. Lots of interesting characters. Unova does too, but I like the actual regions of Hoenn and Sinnoh more.


Opinions are nice.

 

[JamesDNaux]

Dawn is boss because she can walk up the Routes 216, and 217 without giving a damn about the blizzard

I'll definitely have to go with Dawn over Goodra.
/double entendre

 

[Mythra]

Yeah, customization should come back too, that was also an odd decision on their part.

Having said that, if they hold to the same reason ORAS didn't get it, Sinnoh remakes probably wouldn't either.



Go to bed, Lucario.



Pft, Red trained in a blizzard, Ethan/Kris battled him in a blizzard, and Hilda walked through a Cold Storage and Twist Mountain in those short shorts, Dawn ain't got nothing on them.

That argument of Hilda and her really short shorts is sooo true... I admit defeat

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

I'm...back, guys.

Shaken, but back.



Seen some things, man...

Life happend? say nor more Taiko to the rescue

Ok Ill stop

Yeah, customization should come back too, that was also an odd decision on their part.

Having said that, if they hold to the same reason ORAS didn't get it, Sinnoh remakes probably wouldn't either.
.

tbh, I wouldnt really mind.